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Hey guys my name's Erin, and I love helping people. I know how hard life can be at times, and sometimes you just need some adivse. That's what I'm here for. Whatever the question is, I'll be more than happy to answer it!
advice
im a 15/f .. over thanksgiving i did some stuff with my boyfriend. i told one of my really good friends and she is really mad at me now. its not like i had sex with him or anything, and i was ready for what i did. i dont want to have sex w. him either because i want to save that for marriage. and ive told her that many times. but she is still pissed at my actions and doesnt trust me. what can i do to make her see that im not ganna go further then what i feel im ready for, and so that she is not mad at me anymore?
first of all, it's your life, and your friend has to understand that what you do, especially what you do with your boyfriend, is your choice. but, her being upset about it does show that she cares for you, because it is possible that what she is feeling is concern, but can only express it as anger. make sure that she understands that you made the decision with a lot of thought behind it, and it wasn't just spur of the moment. also, tell her that what you do with your boyfriend really isn't any of her business, but you trust her enough to tell her what you do, so she should trust you enough to know that you will make smart decisions. saving sex for marriage is very admirable these days, and i wish more girls were like you. just have a heart to heart talk with your friend, but make sure she doesn't think that you're upset at her, and tell her that you don't want her to be upset with you anymore, and ask her what you can do to get her trust back. best of luck, and i hope this helped.
me and my bf have been together for a long time now..the only stuff weve done is i gave him a handjob ONCE and that was it. im not a virgin and neither is he. i dont want to have sex with him though because i am so scared to get pregnant its too risky. lately hes been kinda like feeling up my shirt and trying to put his hand in my pants. i always stop him by making an excuse. i dont want to seem like a sissy though. hes done EVERYthing...n ive only done it once...i get nervous now i know he wont do nething till im not ready but i dont know how to tell him. i just get a weird feeling when he wants to do stuff im not ready yet...how do i tell him...=\
you just have to tell him. if you've been going out long enough, it shouldn't be a big deal. you said he woudln't do anything if you're not ready, so you just have to tell him that you don't want to rush anything, and you're just not ready yet. eventhough you aren't a virgin, that doesn't mean that you automatically have to have sex, or even do sexual stuff with every guy you date. don't be ashamed of it or anything, it's actually quite admirable!! just be open and honest with him. your relationship will be stronger that way too. hope this helped. good luck!
I have two questions. It might get a little confusing because I myself am confused. I was at my boyfriends house yesterday and we started doing sexual things and we had sex. The thing is, I'm not sure if you'd consider it to be having sex. We only were doing it for five minutes tops and neither of us "finished" (I didn't have an orgasm and he didn't cum) So my first question was if you would consider that to be sex. The second part of my question is that the first minute or so, he did not have a condom on but I do know that you can get pregnant off of precum. I know there is a certain time where you are least fertile around the time of your period. I had my period the week BEFORE we did that. Someone had told me that you are most fertile the week after you have your period and then another person said that it was the week before. Could someone clear that up for me? I really need some answers. Thank you SO much if you can help! And please, do not say that you "think" that this is when you are least fertile, I need a straight answer. Thank you again.
regardless of whether or not you two had orgasms, it is still considered sex. and you are most fertile in the middle of your cycle, so about 2 weeks before/after your period, and least fertile right after your period. so if you had it the week before, and since he didn't cum, you should be fine. just be sure that next time you use a condom, so you won't have to worry! hope this helped!
Well okay, here's my situation... My parents work all the time and I usually need a ride... Well my friend opted for the position and I know I do at times get annoying and ask a lot of her parents to take me around and do errands because my own parents can't... So, I give her parents gifts and things like that to thank them for taking me around... And now my friend is really getting agitated about her having to drive me around all the time when her parents don't mind at all... So.. What should I do because I mean I'm always nice to her and her parents but she is just getting on me for asking her parents to take me around...
i could see where she could get annoyed if you asked her to do it, but from what you said, she opted for the position, so in reality she has no reason to be annoyed. and everyone can get annoying at times, so it's nothing to have to appologize for. you getting her parents gifts is so sweet, and should show how thankful you are to have her as a friend, and how thankful you are for her parents driving you around. you should deffinatly talk to her and tell her that you really appreciate her and her parents driving you around, but if she really doesn't like it, you could find someone else. but if her parents don't mind, i dont' see why she would/should. hope this helped, and good luck!
I am a 16 yr. old female and I have a question to ask you.What sould i do if my best friend has told a total private secert about my childhood and private life that she wasn't suppose to tell anybody?
you should talk to your friend. let her know that you really really don't appreciate her telling private secrets about your life to other people, because you trusted her enough in the first place to tell it to her. make sure she understands that what she did really hurt you, and be cautious about what you tell her in the future to make sure she doesn't tell anyone else. everyone tells other people things about other people that they're not supposed to...it's a fact of life. but if they're a really good friend, and if the secret really was private, they should be able to know what is "ok" to tell other people, and what they really should keep to themselves. hope this helped!
I have been cutting myself for a while now. My best friend Dylan knows about it and he wants to me stop. It is very hard to stop doing because it is addicting. Dylan and I got in a big fight last friday because he found out the night before I slit the crap outts my arms. He cares about me alot but I honestly dont want him to care. He always tells me that he loves me and I tell him not too. I hate when he tells me he loves me bc he only loves me as a friend and I wish that he loved me as more. I am in love with him. He hung up on me last friday and it is monday and we havent talked since. IDK what to do. Is he gonna stick by me through these times of pain or abandon me. If I love him should I stop doing what I have been doing and try to get some help. PLZ help me!
regardless of whether u love him or not, you should deffinatly stop doing what you have been doing and try to get some help. it is clear that Dylan cares about you very much, because he sees that what you are doing is horrible for you. i'm sure Dylan will stay by you, but it's really hard sometimes because often people aren't sure how to help people who cut themselves. but please, PLEASE get some help, and stop cutting yourself. i guarantee that your life will be better.
Ive been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now. The last few months have been a bit rocky, but things were really starting to get alot better, atleast on my end. Not on hers though. She wants to take a break, because shes starting to fall out of love with me. I don't think there is really anything that I can do to change her mind...its all up to her..She says there is a possibility that things will get better, and that she may fall back in love with me, but I dont really know....Is it possible to fall out of love with someone, then fall back in love with them?
i deffinatly think it's possible for that to happen. things may be going on with her that she hasn't told anyone, and when that happens, you can get really preoccupied, and maybe she just can see the fact that she still loves you. if you guys take a break, and if she does still love you, it will show her how much she really does, and then hopefully things will get better. i'm sorry you have to deal with that, because its hard and it sucks. but just stick it out, and whatever happens happens. there are other girls out there if things don't work out for you. good luck.
I'm very overshadowed by my best friend. She's a very flirtatious, outgoing, redheaded vixen and everyone wants to be friends with her. Now, I don't mind it so much, I'm happy that she is well liked by people, but it's the fact that I seem to be getting less and less attention from her every time she meets somebody new. Especially guys. Every guy she meets has had a crush on her. (Except, thankfully, my CURRENT boyfriend...note that I said CURRENT..ex-boyfriends are another story) And often times she has crushes on them, but she still has to complain about them liking her. She seems to treat me like a child and she's the "All-knowing-one", especially when it comes to relationships, and it's really starting to piss me off! She steals my jokes and claims them as her own OFTEN and she says that I'm a bad friend because I once decided to stay with my boyfriend instead of going to hang out with her, while she has ditched me many a time to hang out with guys. (I can think of two instances from just last week.) I'm really bothered by her, yet I remain her friend and most of the time I really don't know why. And I want to talk to her about this, but I've tried before and she always apologizes and then forgets about it two days later.
And when it's just her and I things are fine! We have a great time and everyone's happy and once again I've become the comedian between the two of us, (material she later steals from me to use in front of her flirting victims), but when it comes to boys I'm completly ignored and she's off in the corner creating some sort of drama. It's weird for me, because before I befriended her I was always the center of attention among the group. I was the loud, funny, loving one who everyone wanted to give hugs because I would gladly dish them out. And now it seems like nobody has any time for me because they all want to be with her. Like she's taken all of my friends, but still claims that I'm her best one.
What should I do? I know the most logical thing would be to stop being friends with her, but we've been together for so long and we have most of our friends in common with each other, so there really would be no way to avoid hanging out with her.
wow that's a tough situation. i know what it's like to be with someone who's the center of attention, and you often feel left out and kind of stuck in the corner cause no one notices you. she seems like a person that puts on a fake personality when around other people besides you, becuase you said she's fine around you. some people are so insecure about themselves that they need to be loud and flirty to have a lot of people like them to boost their self-confidence. she seems like the perfect candidate. i wouldnt suggest stopping being friends with her, mainly because you do share most of the same friends, so that would create a little bit of awkwardness in the group. but i would suggest talking to her again, and telling her that you appreciate her appologizing, but that you only want to hear it if she actually means it-if she'll actually try to change. i'd say try to seperate yourself from her a little, but i don't think that will help. maybe try talking to some of your other friends, and see if they feel the same way. you may not be able to see it, but chances are some of them do. and maybe if enough of you feel the same way, you can all talk to her, as a group often makes more of an impact than one person. sorry this wasn't much help, but i wish u the best of luck!
hey.. about 3 months ago i got out of a 2 yr relationship.. i thought that i would never be in love again or it would be hard to find a guy. Ive been eying this guy at my church for a while and about 2 weeks ago i went up to him and said hi and introduced myself to him. I come to find out that in middle school he useto be my friend. it was one of those hi, bye things. But till this day i dont remember. Today i saw him at church and i said hi and i gave him my number to go out this weekend. He is the cutest thing ever. The thing is im not sure if he has a girlfriend and hes a senior this yr and hes leaving to orlando this summer. but i dont know what else to talk to him about and im not a shy person anymore, i could pretty much go up to a guy i like and talk to him. and i did that with this guy but its been so long since ive done this and i dont know what to do around him.. any advice?.. tanx
it's always hard to try and start dating again after a long relationship. if he doesn't call you this weekend, maybe try and arrange some plans next time you see him at church, or maybe see if he wants to go get some coffee or lunch or something after, that way you get to go out with him that day. then just talk to him as you would any guy, regardless of whether you like him or not. talk to him about school, sports, music, movies, and, casually, bring up the girlfriend thing, because it's always going to be helptufl to know. then if things go well, hopefully he'll call you for a second date! but just a piece of advise. starting a relationship now with someone who's leaving in the summer is tough, specially if you last that long. but if you really like him, then don't let that hold you back. it is only november after all...best of luck.
Say you like a girl and you know she likes you. You've hooked up once or twice and promised to call her so that you can arrange a proper date. How soon should you call/meet/talk to to arrange this date?
a day or two after is always good. if the guy waits too long, the girls often will think that he forgot about her, or that he doesn't want to see her again. so i'd say call her about 2 days after, and then arrange the date maybe a week later...so you don't seem desperate ;-) best of luck!!
Well 1st of all im askin advice on what to do heres my story, well I still like my ex g/f, we went out in may and broke it off in june, becuz she went to Ecuador 4 the summer,we both have had relationships since but I still liked her, & I didn't feel right cuz as I was going out with other girls I was thinkin about my ex, recently we've been hangin out a bit, and we r good friends and when we hang out she's always flirty cuz she's like a natural flirt, but like idk what to do and I like her alot...
if you still like her, there's only one thing to do. you have to tell her that you still like her, otherwise it's gonna bother you for a long long time. the worst thing that could happen would be that she doesn't feel the same about you, but then at least you know she knows how you feel. but on the flip side, she may feel the same as you, and then maybe things can work out! you'll never know until you try. you'll never get anything out of relationships if you don't put your heart on the line occassionally. best of luck
my bestfriend moved to va to go to college and i wanna move up there with her soo bad and go to college there but im still n school and im tryna tal my parents into letting me get my ged n go to college so i can live with her i need some advice to make my parents let me
i know how hard it is to have a best friend go to college far away from you. i live in chicago, and left for college in boston this fall. all of my friends still live in the midwest, and it's really hard being away from all of them. but, if you want my honest advise, don't go to VA just for your friend. college is a time for people to move on with their lives, make new friends, figure out who they are. that doesn't mean that they forget about their old friends, such as you, because if you guys really are best friends, then you will stay in touch during college even if she is in VA and if you are in hawaii. my suggestion would be to look at colleges that YOU are interested in, and look outside of VA. it may seem like the ideal situation to go to school in Va and to live with her, but i've seen best friends who room together their freshman or sophomore year, and they ALWAYS end up getting in fights, and it never works out. please don't make your college decision based on where your friend is going. you have to pick a college that is right for you. maybe you guys can get an appartment after college, and go to the same grad school. i know this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but i hope you see my point, and i hope this helped a little. good luck
I like this guy a lot, but he goes to a different school and lives kinda far away from me. Well we meet acouple of weeks ago and really hit it off. We talk on the phone alot and just resently i went to the movies with him. At the movies nothin happend. I didnt really know what exactly we were (friends, friends with benefits, dating). So i texted his phone later that night to ask. He said that he liked me and he wants to be more than just friends. Well last night at a basketball game we went to, i meet his parents who reffered to me as a friend of his. We just sat at the game and talked. Then afterwards he walked me outside and kissed me. I really like this guy, but i dont want to just be some girl he calls up to get some from, i really want to have a relationship with him but i dont know what the next thing i should do is?!?!?! I might have the chance to go see him again tonight, should i take it?????
Please help, i'll rate high because its so long
you should deffinatly take it. you'll never know what will come of this relationship if you don't put yourself out there and try. he obviously likes you at least a little, so chances are something will come of it. the reason his parents probably referred to you as a friend of his is because since you guys aren't technically dating yet, he's not going to tell his parents that you are. i would take the chance to see him tonight, and if you're still unclear as to what you guys are by the end of the night, ask him face to face. if he just says he wants to be more than friends, ask him what he means by that. tell him how you're feeling, but don't get upset. if you get upset, that usually scares guys away. be strong, but state your feelings. hopefully things will work out with you, and i hope this helped!! best of luck
I'm a girl and I'm horrible at singing.
I don't think I have that horrible a voice...at least not when singing quietly to myself, or singing simple (really simple) songs like the songs you sing in chorus class or whatever...
But whenever I try to sing loudly, or sing a pop/rock/any song that isn't quiet and extremely simplified kind of song, I SUCK. That's all there is to it.
First of all, I can't even get my voice to get loud. Whenever I hear any female singer (take Michelle Branch, for example), and try to sing one of their songs, I just can't. My voice doesn't go as loud/high as them- hell, I can't even match their pitch, or get the notes right...
I play piano...and not to show off or anything I'm not excellent but I'm moderately good at playing the piano.
Does all this mean that I'm totally tone-deaf? Or just have a sucky voice? Or unused to singing pop songs? Or WHAT? It's getting to be a big problem because whenever I goto the Karaoke bar w/ my friends (it's really big here)- all of them are GREAT at singing. Seriously. Maybe it's because they've been practicing singing loudly and stuff since they were in elementary school.l..but I dunno they're really good. And I'm the only one that sucks...my voice gets all weird and high pitched, then really low...and UGH! I can't stand it! My friends are nice so they don't say anything...but I can tell by the look on their faces that they are experiencing PAIN. (lol) I really want to fix this situation any way I can..how? Thanks
Please, don't be prejudiced against me because of certain bands/singers I mentioned. The issue here isn't really music, it's the VOICE. Argh. Help.
P.S. I'm not in a position to take voice lessons; I'm already taking too many classes/lessons etc, and my mom is against voice lessons because she knows it isn't going to be like a career or anything...it's just for fun.
THANK YOU!
well first of all, if it's just for fun, then you really shouldn't be worried about how you sound. some people are better at singing than others, and some just are naturally good. you just need to be comfortable with yourself, and have fun. you also have to pick the songs that are right for you. if you can't sing loud/high, pick songs that aren't loud or high. also, the point of kareokee isn't to be good. it's to have fun. so if it's just for fun, then just have fun with it, and don't worry about it. there really isn't much else i can say because since you can't take lessons, then the only thing you can do is practice in your house. i hope this helped, and just relax and have fun!!
HEy uh i love this girl but im afraid to tell her.I told her once that i liked her but she seemed to dislike me even more and all her freinds hate me.What should i do?
well, if you guys aren't dating, which it doesn't seem that you are, then that makes things a little more complicated. if you really do love her, then you should just tell her, but prepare yourself for the worst-her not feeling the same as you. when you love someone, if you don't tell them how you're feeling, it often times builds up inside you until you can't handle it. so it all depends on whether you love her more than you fear her and her friends not liking you, or whether you afraid to tell her more than you love her. best of luck, and i hope this helped
there is this girl i like that doesnt know i like her...ive only told 1 person that i like her and thats my best friend...how do i tell her i like her besides getting sum1 else 2 tell her...wut im tryin 2 say is im 2 shy around her and stuff and each time i try 2 talk 2 her i get choked up...got ne advice?
well, what might be easier, is to ask her out on a date. ask her out to dinner or something, and then while you're eating, then you can tell her that you like her, and take things from there. it's always hard expressing your feelings, but you can do it. just relax, and you'll be fine. good luck!!!
i really like this guy (i think im in love) but he is older than me and right now we dont go to the same school but next year we will, he likes me too but i want him to like think of me all the time and be like crazy about me before we go to the same school, but all the communication i get is over IM so what should i say that would make him like really happy and like me even more?
p.s.-he knows i like him but not really...like he thinks we are just friends and im happy with that and that i dont want to be more..but hes wrong...also he doesnt know i know he likes me
thanks so much, *olivia*
well first of all, you can't force someone into liking you. it's just something that happens. but if you want a relationship to come of this, then you have to be sure that he knows exactly how you feel. either come straight out and tell him (it's much easier online than in person, although in person is much better), or write him a note or something. but if you don't tell him how you feel, nothing will come of it. maybe try calling him too. exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone sometimes. that way you can tell from his tone of voice what he's really feeling. its so much easier to lie online, and i'd hate for you to be heartbroken because he was lying to you online. the chances of this happening are rare, but possible. the best you can do is just continue to talk to him, and hopefully that and being in the same school with you will help him like you even more. but other than that, there's really not a whole lot you can do. sorry this wasn't more encouraging, but have faith that it'll work out! best of luck and keep me posted!
ok well.. i am going out with this guy... hes really great... we have had a few problems but we are totally awesome now... so ne way... we have been going out for a little while now and i really really like him... we have gone pretty far and are started thinking about have sex... we have always talked about it even before we were together and i kind of want to but i am afriad of regret.... i hate regreting things and im worried that if we have sex i will regret it... the thing is, before we did everything we have i thought i would regret it but i totally dont... is it just a 'virgin thing'?? i trust him completely... im just scared im to young (14) although (and i swear im not bragging) i am way more mature than the 'average' 14 year old... (if it makes a difference he's 16) i guess im asking all those 'non-virgins' out there... do you regret it? and do you wish you had waited? what do you think i should do? please answer!!!
...claire
i don't regret it, but i was 18. you are only 14, and even if you say you are "way more mature than the average 14 year old", in my mind, you are still not mature enough to handle the possible reprocussions of sex. if you have any doubt in your mind that you might regret it, then i would deffinatly wait. it seems like girls these days are just rushing to have sex, like it's some kind of race or something, or like if they don't do it now, it'll never happen or something. but trust me, it's no race, and there will be plenty of opportunites for you to have sex. now this could just by my point of view, but i would highly suggest against having sex for the frist time (no matter how old you are) until you are older, and when you are in a relationship with someone you love. that way, you don't have as much to worry about, such as the possible consequences of sex, or of him leaving you after because he got what he wanted. but, if you honestly and truely feel ready, then no one's stopping you. just be safe. hope this helped.
my friends always ask me personal questions like "who do you like" .. but i dont know if i should tell them bcuz they might tell other people ... how do you know when you can trust your friends?
if they're your friends, you should be able to trust them no matter what. but if you have any doubt, maybe you just don't know them well enough, or maybe you need to find new friends who you can trust. you will know when you can trust your friends when you don't have to ask that question.
I have a friend,Megan which I have been practically sisters with my whole life. I've known her for 6 years and we basically grew up together. I also have this other friend,Kelsy, which I have known for about 4 or 5 years, and is also extremely close with me. Megan and Kelsy have also been close for years,too. Kelsy is starting not to like Megan anymore, due to a drunk night when Megan got with the guy that Kelsy liked. I know it was wrong, but I've known Megan for half my life and I can't just drop her like that. Kelsy might get mad if she knows that I still want to be friends with Megan, because everytime she says something about Megan, I always agree by saying I'm not talking to her anymore either. What are your opinions on this?
first of all, by telling kelsy that you're not going to talk to megan anymore is just going to make things worse, becaues she'll find out that you're still talking to her, and then she'll be mad at you for lying to her. you really shouldn't have to make the decision about who to be friends with, because this isn't your problem. its a problem between megan and kelsy that they have to work out. you can still be freidns with both of them, but just be aware that they might talk about each other behind their backs to you, and all three of you may not be able to hang out. but, if like you said megan was drunk, then kelsy has a little less reason to be mad at megan. but, i would suggest talking to megan and kelsy, and making them talk to each other, and try and figure things out. if megan feels bad about what she did, she should appologize and let kelsy know that she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing, and that she still wants to be friends. if kelsy really still wants to be friends with her, she should be able to forgive her, and then things might be a little tense for a little, but they should work out. hope this helped, and best of luck!