kitty_kat123's advice column

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Q: ok i'm really sorry this is long, but please take the time to read it, because it seems no one can help me: all i want is that on friend. that one friend that will stick with you though your whole life, and that u can grow old with. you know? that friend if your crying she will come over to your house and sit with you for hours, or one that you can call at 2 in the morning. and that friend that you never have awkard silent moments with cause you always speak your mind with her, and even if you are silent, its comfortable silence.you see, it seems all my friends arent really THAT friend.like when i feel like talking about serious things, they do not listen. they're just to have a few jokes with and thats it. in MY opinion, i think there is more to a friend than that. my mom says its hard to find that kind of friend but someday you will. i dont believe her. will I EVER get that friend!!???

Listen to your mom. She's right. It is hard to find a friend like that. First of all, you can't trust everyone who's nice to you. It may seem like this friend is ALWAYS going to be your friend but then, she backstabs you in heartbeat. That's happened to me before because I trusted someone that I never knew I couldn't trust. You WILL find friends like that in life. Tomorrow, maybe. Or today. You can't shop for a best friend. You have to KNOW that that person is yo0ur best friend that you can trust and never fight with. You will find friends like that. You will. I'm 100% sure on this. Just trust me. If you need any more advice or just want to talk, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com!!!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: (i rate)

ok so my bf n i have been going out for like 2 yrs and i luv him to death. i cant wait to be w/ him n im never going to dump him so dont suggest that. but lately hes been sayin he'll hang out w/ me but then he ditches me for his otha friends n they're mad far away so i never get to talk to him at all. i hate it when he does it but he makes it seem like its no biggie. he doesnt know how i feel n when i talk to him he never understands. plus he does drugs when hes there, or atleast he did. n he wonders y i hate him goin there. i dunno what to do. i want to stop gettin all upset when he does this but i cant n i dunno what to do if theres anythin i can do. wheneva he says hes goin there i get all quiet n je just started noticin that i get upset. n he gets mad at me cuz of it. i dunno what to say so he gets how i feel and how i dont like him goin there but i want him to be happy at the same time so i neva say nothin. please help. i really need it. thanks in advance.

I know you're probably going to hate this advice but you're asking opinions on what we would do so I say... you shouldn't be with someone who does/did drugs at ANY time and even if he treats you right and satisfies you in every way with his care and respect, he shouldn't be getting mad at you for telling him how you feel. He should apoligize for blowing you off and take you out to dinner or something. Talk to him again and tell him to shut up and listen. After you talk, tell him he can add comments. Talk to him careingly and tell him it's really hard talking to him because when you express yourself, he gets mad. That's not right. Tell him EXACTLY how you feel but don't be angry with him. You should find a breakthrough through him!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: I'm sixteen, yet I still haven't developed my breasts yet! I know everyone says this, but I really don't want some answer like, "Be happy with who you are." Does anyone know ANYTHING.. at ALL. to make them bigger? Any foods to eat or anything? Please help.... No surgery. All natural. XOX

You may hate me for saying this but... breast are everything in a girl. I mean, I'm 19 but I was 16 once and I know how it is... depressing when you're a little... underdevloped but I WAS underdeveloped at 16!!! I had the breasts of a 14 year old... who were bigger than mine. Hahaha. You need to eat a lot of broccoli. Even if you hate it, it helped me grow more. Wear padded or water bras which make them look bigger... just until it starts working which will take about 6 weeks until they grow a little. Also, it's a good thing if your boobs start to hurt a little bit. Don't see a doctor, it's natural. It means their growing and your developing more than usual. Trust me on this... I know what you're going through. Hahahaha!
If you want to email me, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K??? You can email me for advice seperately or you can email me just to talk, either one's O.K with me.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: This guy is really cool. But, it's so confusing to tell if he likes me. First, he has a cute nickname for me, and he touches my shoulders a lot when we're walking. Also, he gives me complements and looks right into my eyes when we talk. I also catch him starring at me during class sometimes like at my legs or at my face. Does it sound like he really does like me?

thanks! ill rate 5's!!

Yes!
This guy is DEFINITLY it! You have to kinda know him because if he flirts A LOT with like, you're friends and stuff, you MIGHT not be able to trust him if you guys go out. If he flirts only around you and you're the only girl he really does that to, he likes you, not questions asked!!!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: theres this boy that i like. But his like my best best best guy friend. sometimes he flirts with me, we do everything together, his brother n'd my brother are friends... what should i do?? should i ask him out or should i wait until he makes the move?...

Well,
flirt with him a lot and see how he reacts. If he acts flirty back and then always wants to sit by you and walk by you and stuff, he definitly likes you and you should ask him out. But if he kinda hesitates to flirt back, leave him alone and wait for HIM to make the move! It'll work. That's how I always tell with a guy.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: my friend likes this boy and i think and everyone else think hes gay for example he only had girls as friends and he cares tooooo much of how he looks but hes really cool and everyhting everyone loves him as a friend.but is it weird that my friend likes him?

Well,
no it's not weird to find him attractive physically or even mentally. If she's planning on asking him out, she MUST have some sort of problem and if he turns her down and she's really pretty, then he is for sure gay. Gay guys can be a girls best friend easily. I mean, you can go to beach together and check out guys. Hahaha! Well, let her like whoever she wants and she'll get over him soon enough, especially if he's gay.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: my family always fights and im afraid that they might split up what do i do?

Well,
if you're talking about your mom and dad, that's normal. You're parents truly do love each other and they just have disagreements sometimes, like brothers and sisters do. It's always normal to have little fights with your spouse. Even big fights are normsl. In the end, you'll see what I'm talking about. They'll be apoligizing and kissing and talking to each other about it and being calm. Trust me. My parents are STILL together and they had BAD fights that would make me cry because I was always afraid that my dad would hurt my mom but I always knew my mom wouldn't and COULDN'T hurt my dad. One time, my dad tore the towel rack out of the bathroom and went to go hit my mom and she threw a plate at him and iot shattered into a million pieces and also, she pushed him but he never hit her. Now, they love each other more and more each day. They learn from their arguments, everybody does. They learn more about each other and soon, they'll realize that love is more important than anything like money or property. Love is the strongest thing in the world and nothing can break through it. They'll make it through, I promise. Some parents DON'T make it through but if yours truly love each other, they won't split up.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: when do people usually start babysitting.. and how much do they usually get in an hour??

Well,
it all depends on what you charge and you have to work it out with them. I used to charge $3 per hour, per child. For example, if the woman/man has 2 children, you'll be making $6 an hour. People USUALLY start in the summer because a lot of people don't want to pay OUTRAGEOUS day care prices. Also, kids are out of school while their parents have to work and a lot of people want other people to watch their kids for them. I think it's a great idea. To get people to realize you, I used to make little fliers and hang them on peoples doors or put them in their mailboxes.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: well, a while ago, my friend told me that she had been raped by someone in her family. she said it had been happening since she was like 9 and it recently stopped happining. i really care about this person and i want to tell someone about it, but she made me swear not to tell anyone. im really confused on what to do and whether or not to tell someone about it. she doesnt even like to talk about it but im not sure its the 100% truth or not. what should i do?

Oh my goodness! That sounds really serious and no matter what she says, you HAVE to tell someone like your mom or dad or uncle or aunt or grandma or grandpa or SOMEONE closest to you in your family. That's not right. It's serious and whether she likes it or not, you HAVE to tell someone like the cops. They can investigate and arrest whoever is raping her!
Best of luck!!!
Hope I helped!!!
View my column!!!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Ok, My best friend Ethan and I have been best friends since we met this year, and I would do anything for him. Well, hes going out with this girl, Skylar. I dont mean to name names, but shes a total prep, and she HATES ME. And I'm not very fond of her either. Ever since they have been going out, Ethan is all different. I used to be able to tell him anything, but whenever I say something bad about Skylar on accident, he gets all mad, and I feel like I cant trust him anymore. I want to tell him so badly that Skylar is being a jerk to me and my friends, but he wont listen to me, i'm positive he wont. I feel like I'm not part of his life anymore, I just feel like I'm in the background, and Skylar is always getting her way with everything. I mean, do you ever get that feeling where you know that hes waking up thinking about the totally wrong girl, yet you hope that he finds happiness in his life, even if it means kicking you out of it? well thats how I feel. So here are my questions...

1) How do I tell him how I really feel about him and Skylar without him getting mad?

2) How do I get a more positive attitude out of this?

PLEASE HELP. I rate 5's. And I appreciate all those columnists that take the time to read this real long question =)...

--SKY IS THE LIMIT.

To be honest with you, there really is no way you can tell him about Skylar without him getting mad because writing a note is just as bad as saying it to his face. You may not like the fact that they are going out and leaving you out. I say the best thing to do is call him or something but tell him that he needs to listen without saying ANYTHING. Tell him to save the comments for last and then, tell him how you feel about Skylar. If he gets mad at you, don't worry. Skylar will break up with him soon enough and he'll be thanking you for warning him and he'll feel like a total idiot because he should have listened to you and he didn't. If he loses your friendship with him, which shouldn't/won't happen, it's his loss because you're a really good friend.
Best of luck!!!
Hope I helped!!!
View my column!!!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: i had this best friend named ryley when i was about 5 years old years old!! we lived next door to me and we did EVERYTHING together!but then when i was 8 he moved and i never saw him again and now i am really starting to miss him. My boyfriend goes to his church and a few weeks ago he said his best friend ryley from church asked if he knew me!he said yes and ryley told him we used to be best friends!now i really want to call him since i know now that he remembers me! but i dont know what i would say!i sure did change alot from when i was 8 til now im 14.i dont even know if he cares or wants to talk to me..what should i do?

Well,
unless the last thing you said to him was hateful, he will want to talk to you. Tell your boyfriend to tell Ryley that you want his phone number, unless you already have it. If you already have it or you are going to get it, you need to tell him who it is and ask if he remembers you. Then, he'll probably ask "How have you been?" or something and the conversation starts. Tell him more about you. Tell him how you've changed. Make plans with him but make sure you kinda... include that boyfriend of yours so he doesn't get jealous. LOL. Well, you can make plans with him like... going to the mall or the movies or the swimming pool or something fun so yall can get a chance to know each other because 6 years of not seeing someone is a long time. You need to mae a good impression on him so he won't... NOT like you anymore. I think you'll be fine!
Try that! If it doesn't work or if it does, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com or view my column and ask me a question in my inbox. Either one is fine. I'm on this website EVERY day and I check my email every day as well so do whatever you please!
Luv ya!
Best of lucl!
I hope I helped!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Hey my friend and I have been friends for a long time. We promised to be best friends forever. Lately though, I feel as if we've grown apart. Just recently we have been going to different middle schools and we won't be meeting up until high school. We haven't been talking to each other much lately, even though we're out for summer break. How can I help improve our relationship?

Well,
you can always talk to him/her on the phone. Invite him/her over to your house to hang out and watch some movies or whatever or invite him/her to go somewhere like the mall or the swimming pool. These are how you can get your friendship to be more... ALIVE. But before you do anything, tell him/her how you feel about being emotionally apart, O.K? He/she will surely understand and take it in that you want to get closer. Make plans with him/her so you guys can get a chance to be alone and talk and stuff. No, your friendship is not breaking up, unless you let it. It's up to you!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: so these 3 guys like me and all want to marry me. i haven't known any of them for a REALLY long time..but i know them enough to know all their little secrets and stuff...and i know which one i want to marry...but how do i tell the other ones without hurting them?...

Well,
usually offering friendship works if they're sensitive guys. Tell the other ones that you want to marry so-and-so and say they can still come over and hang out and be good friends. Tell them you don't want them to STOP liking you but... just tell him who you want to marry and see how they react. If they react rudely, drop them but most likely, they will react respectively of your decision and support you. BE NICE ABOUT IT THOUGH!!! LOL. You don't want anby feelings to be hurt!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: i know this is gross but is it bad if your poop is really green? (two days in a row)

Well,
no it's not bad. All poop is is eaten and chewed up food... with a really bad odor but anyways... no, it's not bad. It's just that maybe you're eating lots of green vegetables or other foods. That's a good thing if you're eating your green veggies! :-) It's O.K. It's normal!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: im 13/f and i like a guy that is 16. i have known him since i was born and he was my sisters friend, but then we moved to dallas and now he still lives in seattle. so i just saw him a couple of days ago and now i like him ALOT and like idk wat to do. ive known him my whole! life! and like...he has a gf in california and hes had her for like a few yrs and like they see eachother every month! and like i want to move back to seattle not only b/c of him but my old friends and stuff too. so is there ne thing i can do to like make him like me or stay in touch. BTW i dont have his sn but my sister will get it but like i dont want to tlk to him on that b/c i never really talked to him. HELP!
p.s this is my sn if you can im me for more help! ilove50centmore and that is on aim! plzz help!!!

Well,
I'm sure your sister has his phone number and stuff. If she does, get it from her and call him. Ask him for his email address and stuff. Email is better because then, if you're too shy to say something over the phone, just say it in an Email! It's a lot better! I actually know your situation, believe it or not. When I was 13, I was actually dating a 16 years old and my mom hooked us up and stuff but our moms worked together but my mom was his moms boss and his mom did something stupid and my mom fired his mom so I didn't get to see him but he came to my birthday party and we held hands at the movies and stuff... it was really cool. I just got his number. I'm going to go call him. That's what you should do. Call and ask for his email address or just talk to him on the phone if you know him well.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: umm i like this dude nd hes not like hott but reli sweet nd every1 hates him but im goin out with him neway....should i stay with him nd be laughed at, or just break up?

Well,
you shouldn't care about what other people think... I don't. It matters about what YOU think of a guy... not what everybody else WANTS you to think about him. That's wrong for you to break up with someone just because nobody else thinks what you do... you're a very nice person to care about him and like him and hopefully, you're there for him. There must be a reason for everybody to not like him. Whatever it is, you like him no matter what!
Best of luck!!!
Hope I helped!!!
View my column!!!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: i really need help with my makeup..i have light skin, blue eyes, and light blonde hair. Like what color of eyeliner and mascara do i need to wear, b/c i think black looks to harsh with my skin..brands and colors would be helpful! thanks so much!! katie_xx

Midnight blue eyeliner would probably look best. Really, there's no specific brand. Just... any. The best place to get that is at either Target or any general store. Just do... maybe... hang on let me think... lol... onyx (dark black) mascara. I can picture what you look like... I used to look like that, light skin, blue eyes, and light blonde hair. I dyed my hair brown though... and got a tan but my eyes are still and that's the stuff that works best on you... TRUST ME!!!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: I wanna be more girly. Thats all thats 2 it.

Thanx

Well,
pink is always girly. So is baby blue. Halter tops and short shorts are not only girly but very stylish as well. Um... about your hair, get a cute cut thats a little past your shoulders or to the middle of your back and wear it down or in a cute little ponytail. Wera make-up like eyeliner and mascara. NO LIPSTICK. Shiny and glossy lip gloss is always best. Pink lip gloss. or just shiny lip gloss. Wear either flip flops or sandals with heels. These are the best places to go for all the stuff you may need to buy unless you already have some stuff... KOHL's, Target, and any clothing places in any mall. Opinion: the mall is best! Trust me, you'll look good!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: i know i cant dwell on that for the rest of my life, and im thankful im still here, im just not sure how to let these ppl know about things, bc i dont wanna hurt them, yet im not really ready for a relationship... im not sure how to tell them about everything... i dont want alot of my friends knowing, yet i guess i might have to tell them to make them understand... thanks for all ur time.. nice site by the way

What I would do is ignore them for a little bit and see if they talk to you... if they don't, you have nothing to worry about. If they do, tell them you met someone else BUT you would love to be their friend. Don't be mean about it. You may have to lie a couple of times but it's only to help you tell them. I understand that you're not really ready for something serious because you're scared but you need to tell them this... just to get them away until you feel more better with going out too meet guys!
Hope I helped!
Best of luck!
Thank you for emailing me... if you want to talk more, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com!
Fell free to talk to me again if you like!

Q: OK so the kid i like (who has a g/f) asked me the other day online if i still liked him..and i tried changin the subject but hes like "No don't shange the convo.." so i told him: idk because you have a gf... then he said ooo ok..now hes talking to me a lot more..should i have told him that i still liked him? should i tell him the next time i talk to him? help me! i rate 5s!

Well,
it really doesn't matter. I think he felt kind of shy when you liked him and maybe he's not really ready to say he likes you back. Or maybe he's not ready for you to like him. Stick to friends... he has to break up with his girfriend sometime and when he does, comfort him and let him know you're there for him~! Guys like that!
Hope I helped!
Best of luck!
View my column~~~!!!
~~~Kayla~~~