It actually all depends on who is your teacher. They make up their own tests, and each of these test varies. It took me awhile to get the hang of it, and I'm sure the first couple of weeks might be confusing for you too. But there are things you can do to improve your skills on any test.

I know in college, you must read your books and chapters. You need to look over your notes as well. Pull out the main event in each paragraph. If you have to, write up your own quetsions that you would put on a test. It may sound silly, but I can't stress it enough. The most signifcant dates are always obvious. If the teacher repeatively talks about a certain event or person, write it down.

Sweetie, you need to hope for the best. Right now your grandma needs you to believe in her that she can make it through this. If your dad and grandpa see that you're in high spirits, that may be enough to give them some hope too. Your family needs that strength to back them up. I know that right now, you're probably looking at all the possiblities and risks that it might not go over so well. But if you're talking negatively with each other it will decrease the confidence you have in your grandma. And she needs to be in your thoughts and have confidence in her that she is strong enough to fight this.

It may also be up to you to hold your family together. It's going to be a rough time for you and your family but try and let it run its course. Because there is really nothing you can do to change this except changing the attitude you have towards it. If you need a break, try clearing your mind by walking or doing something that you enjoy. Try and relax. ( I know it's easier said that done)

And in the meantime I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope she's okay.

-Shannon

It's very common to have one boob bigger/smaller than the other. They are going to continue to grow for awhile. A lot of people say the age that you stop growing is 18, and for the majority this is true. But I don't think that applies to everyone because everyone is different. I know people who continue growing until they are 23 years old. I think genetics play into that. So it will be hard to determine when you will stop growing. But as far as right now, you'll continue to grow. So don't worry too much because you still have time. Keep in mind, they may never be even. But no one will ntoice except you. And believe me guys don't know the difference. =D

-Shannon

I would be very concerned for your health at this point. If you are eating normally and you figure is this frail and thin, I would truly recommend going to a doctor. Honestly, I have seen anorexic people before, and you are much thinner than they were. I have never seen anything like this before. Please arrange an appoint asap even if there is no eating problem. I agree that online calculators do not take factors in to consideration, so don't go by them. It would be to your benefit to go to a doctor because they are certified in this area.

Color my silly?

I think the best possible way to solve this problem is by observing each color individually. When you look at each color decide what you feel for each one. For isntace "Hot pink is a bright, cheery color, so it makes me feel happy and awake".

But in all honesty, I'd go with mac-and-cheese because it's not a color. =)

I know exactly how you feel. I've struggled with the same exact problem for many of years. Minus the red in the face part. I'd do whatever I could to get out of a speech, I hated it more than anything in the world. I never raised my hand to answer a question and when I was called on my heart raced. My voice was always shakey and many times I couldn't finish the whole presentation. It affected my life in a very negative way.

I thought it could be social anxiety and it very well could've been but regardless I never visited a doctor about it. I dont' know how much this is going to help you but I overcame it by, sort, of forcing myself to talk to people. I got a job in the summer in which I worked with kids and many college students older than me. I would have to stand up and present material to the kids while my co-workers watched. That and I had my boss watch me too which was kind of nerve wrecking. By applying and going on a interview allowed me to get used to being prepared when talking with someone. So if you don't already have one, get a job. It does help.

Then I noticed a dramatic different in comparision this year and last. This year I've been talking to a lot of people and I'm not afraid at all. Once you get it, it comes naturally. And you don't have to think anymore. People are intimidating at times and as a shy person we tend to over-analyze everything too closely. You need to find a way to make yourself approachable. Smiling is a good start. People become afraid because you have your guard up so much that people wouldn't know what to say to you. It's all a matter of letting your guard down. Overall, for me I've just grown out of it. And it's an awesome thing to overcome from living with it yearly. It's not as hard as you're making it out to be. And work up the courage to answer a question in class one in awhile. You need to get over the fear. And the only way to do that is to make yourself just go for it. You need to put yourself in a place where your uncomfortable ( in this case socially ) and be able to keep a good conversation going.

As far as medical conditions go, if you feel you may need to seek a professional or have social anxiety you could get tested for it. I would try maybe doing some things I suggested first before you get checked out. If you do need treated for it, you'll be much better off and I'm sure you won't feel as awkward.


Research social disorders online and read all the symptoms of each one. If you can relate to the majority of them you can print it out and highlight important facts first. Then go back and re-read them. This is good in preparation for going to get checked up on so the doctor knows exactly what you feel like.

Hang in there!

-Shannon

Let me ask you this: Why did you quit dance? I don't know how passionate about dancing you were but sometimes when we stop doing something that we're used to doing for years you sort of feel empty. I know that was my case with art. After doing art for four years, my ninth grade year, I discontinued any type of art. And I always felt that something was wrong or that I didn't know what to do with myself. The reason was that I was so passionate about art, take when it was finally taken away I didn't feel complete. It took me the whole year to realize that.

It seems like you're one of those people who must be doign something and be very busy. You know, all this free time wouldn't be the worst thing ever. You get time to hang out with your friends, you can get involved in a new activity. You have time to work on whatever it is you'd like to accomplish. Now believe me, someone will hire you but you need to be patient. I felt that no one would hire me when I first applied for my job. Do you know how long I waited until I got the position offered? Four months. Additionally, you're going to need to start off somewhere. Having any job experince is better than none at all. Half the people who are millionares didn't start out that way. You need to work your way up. And if that means that you'd have to work at a fast food place for starters, that's pretty damn good. At least you'll know what to expect. My suggestion is to keep applying to places where you'd want to work and wait a few weeks to see if you get a call. If you're pretty sure by this point that you're not going to get the job, apply somewhere that is looking and could hire you more easily. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And you're not going to be looked at as being lowered. I think if anything you'd be respected because sometimes the jobs who don't pay as well are one of the hardest to take on. And you seem like the type of person who could handle it, so I don't see it as a problem. You'll be fine. Please don't stress over it! I'm sure many places would love to have you working for them.

"Having one good friend is better than having 10 fake friends" are words I strongly believe in. Many people have all these friends but they don't really know them. Tons of people are fake out there. And that number is increasing every day. If you have just two friends who are genuine, you are way better off than having 100 friends who are two-faced and fake. I know you probably have many of people you talk to but I'd be really appreciative of those two friends. I'm going through the opposite situation right now where I'm trying to get past some of my friends who are acting really fake right now. All I can really tell you is to appreciate what you have. If you see people who seem like they are real and would be nice, meet them. It's always good to have a variety of people in your life and there are still many people who are worth meeting. All you would need to do was meet them and give them a chance.

Here's one of my favorite quotes, it always make me happy. And I thought it might cheer you up too!:

Life is too short
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when you can
Appologize when you should
And let go of what you can't change
Love deeply and forget quickly
Take chances, give everything
And have no regrets
Life is too short to be unhappy

You have to take the good with the bad
Smile when you're sad
Love what you got
And always remember what you had
Always forgive but never forget
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret
People change, and things go wrong
But always remember
That life goes on

LOL! Hope that helps a little. If you need anything else let me know. Good luck!

-Shannon

I have brown hair and blue eyes as well, and for years I've been contemplated how make up artist do it. But nothing has really given me that same affect.

To make your eyes stand out especially if it's a darker blue, you should use tans, peaches, beige, grays ( somtimes), browns, and golds.

But actually if you skip the eye shadow all together and eyeline your bottem and top lash ( everywhere you see white) and coat with mascara that really works. The focus is towards you eye. You could use brown eyeliner or purple. I don't recommend black but if you have light blue eyes you could probably pull it off.

The smokey eye does drowns my eyes out. Smokey eyes look good on certain people, I can do it but I liek it better just natural. Anyway, I think it depends on how high your brow bone is. The higher it is, the better the smokey eye looks. I think it gives you definition but it doesn't make them appear larger.


-Shannon

I hate to say this but unless you are over 18 years of age you mom has total control over the whole moving process. If her mind is made up that she wants to move, there really isn't anything you can do to change it.

I understand it's difficult and you don't want to lose memories and friends and I'm sure she gets that too. But when something better comes along, you have to take it. I'm guessing she's the one who supports you and takes care of the finances, and getting a better job would be good for her to take. And if getting a new job would be realistically better for her she should do it. I know you're happy right now, btu she deserves to be happy as well. And it would allow you to start off new.


Once you understand her points of view, you could try to talk to her again. This time if you're going to talk with her you need to be mature about it. Maturity is key in talking. I always say that in my answers dealing with communication. Many people don't do it correctly and then their parents get pissed. Anyways, make sure this isn't all about you. Ex: "But I am happy here, I don't want to move, This is the happiest I've been in my life". You'll ntoiced that these all have "I" in them. Try to limit words such as "I, me, my" because that just sounds like all you care about is yourself. You know what I mean? Instead try to say something like " Being in _____ has been so wonderful, it would be hard to change all of that so quickly".


-Shannon

Hi! I think you're approaching this the right way so far. By doing research and weighing the pros and cons, you know all the information about it.

I think some suggestions I can make would be to have a long conversation with your mom. When you do this you really want to be mature and listen to her side. Don't just block out her opinions. This is very important. Also, it could be very helpful to print out some information that you found and have her read it over. You could explain that you've continued to take care of your piercings and that this is something that you could try out.


If money is a factor of why you can't have this done, I would offer to pay for it yourself. Work really hard for it if you want it bad enough.


Maybe the best thing to do is to go to a local tattoo or piercing place with your mom and you could talk to the people who work there about the tongue piercing before you make any decisions. Hopefully she'll at least be willing to do that.


I think the biggest concern with tongue piercings is the fact that bateria from your mouth and the metal combines which could lead to infection.

Also the transmissions of dieseases is rare but can occur. (Talk about this to your mom, maybe research or ask a professional).

If all else fails, I heard that bugging your mom everyday could work. Of course this depends on the type of person your mom is. I don't know about this one. LOL


Good luck,
-Shannon

I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope you're doing okay so far.


Actually, I'm quite suprised about this. I don't know who told you to do apply as much pressure as possible on it. If it was the doctors who said this, I'd be even more suprised.

*Please don't do that* You need to apply pressure gradually. You shouldn't force so much pressure at one. I understand that you want to be recovered by homecoming but it's not worth it. Honest.

That metal rod is going to become part of your body. You're going to need let it heal at it's own pace. It does take time to get used to so don't push it. Maybe it will be okay by homecoming. And I'm not saying to not try to apply pressue just start out gradually and work your way up. Okay?


-Shannon

I admire how stong you must be for holding this from everyone and dealing with this for years.


You are right, you shouldn't keep it in because it will take a toll on you and you're not the one with the problem. You'll end up being stressed about it and the last thing you need is more stress. I know it's hard because you're afraid of people's reaction. If your told your friends and neighbors I can't say that everyone won't judge your mom, sometimes people just don't get it. We live in a world of superficial and judgemental people. Not everone is going to accept this. This is why you shouldn't tell them. You would need to tell a conselor or professional. All information is kept confidential.

Before you talk to them you need to talk to your mom. Then you can make the decison after you talk to your mom if you want to tell someone else or not. But first, it's important to try to understand why she's doing pot.


Many people turn to drugs because that's a way of coping. They do it to get away from problems, relax, to have more self-acceptance, to aviod being bored ...etc.

Rather than getting mad about it you need to maintain a calm voice and talk openly about it. Put yourself in her place. You wouldn't want a huge yelling lecture about how stupid you are for doing drugs, right? You need to just come striaght out and say you know that she has a problem and you want to talk to her about it. You can explain the reason you're bringing it up is because you love her so much and if it continues she could become addicted. And addiction would lead to severe behavior, criminal consequences, and be crucial to her health. It's one of the worst ways of dealing with problems. You could mention that there are other, natural ways to deal with stress rather than this.


Let her speak for awhile and listen to her side and add comments that you feel would be most appropriate. If she is unresponsive or gets upset you need to let her know that you will get her help if it continues to get severe and progress.


Be sure to get help for yourself about coping with your mom if you feel that you need it too. It's what they are there for.

Don't just let this problem go because it could result being worse and you need ot get yourself and your family out of this situation.

Good luck sweetie! I am so sorry you have to go through this right now...let me know if there is anything I can do.


You can always go here for more information too. www.premiercounselling.co.uk


-Shannon

This may be a bit long, but I feel it will be to your benefit to read it. I hope you don't mind if I give you some tips as well as diet and exercise information.

The number one goal you should set for yourself is focusing on not how much weight you want to lose but what you're going to do for the day for accomplishment. Think about it. You'll probably end up being overwhelmed because you're stressing about what a long way you have to do. The real secret to losing weight fast is not dwelling on how much pounds you actually have to lose but just doing it. Along with this, it also means that you can't jump to anythign to fast. Example: crash dieting, running for 60 minutes your first week. Gradual success will help you maintain the weight loss.

For exercising, you always want to start with good preparation. I like to stretch by doing pilates. Pilates not only stretches your core muscles but tones them as well, giving them more shape and defintion. Sit ups and crunches will give you a flatter stomach as well.

Next, you want to set up a routine for yourself. To keep yourself from getting bored I would recommend that you switch it up every other day. Definitely do cardio. This gets to heart rate up and this will also be good for losing weight faster. You can start by walking for twenty minutes and increase the speed every day. I like to walk on the tredmill while watching tv or listening to music. Walk everywhere. When I went to China I noticed how delicate and slender everyone was there. Why? Because they walk everywhere. And there are more bicycles on the street than cars. Additionally, the majority of their meals were green vegetables. What I'm trying to say is that instead of riding an elevator take the stairs. Instead of driving to the store, ride your bike there if that's an option. Take frquent walks around your neighborhood. It helps to take a brisk walk three times a day. Think: morning, noon, and night on weekends and after school, before dinner, after 7pm on week days. If you have a bike you can opt to ride it rather than walk to keep it from getting boring.


Overall, if you can maintain to do pilates or a stretch, cardio, and walking each day, you will lose weight.


I don't like to use the term dieting, I like to just state that it's eating right. You think diet, you think atkins or something. lol

As far as drinks go: Lots of water, one cup of tea and coffee a day. Skip all sodas, if you are addicted to soda go with diet but I wouldn't recommend diet sodas unless you absolutely need to.

Grilling, steaming, bake and boiling are four words you need to know for eating right. Cook all your foods this way. Don't fry too much.

Basically your only restrictions are the obvious. Cakes, candy, white starches, sugars ect. East whole grains, fruits, veggies, and meats.

Examples:

Breakfast: 1 cup of oatmeal, a half slice of whole wheat toast and an orange.

Lunch: chicken salad, wheated bread sandwich and an apple.

Snack: peanutbutter celery sticks or green apple.

Dinner: broiled chicken, steamed vegetables or salad, and potatos.

Snack: try picking a fruit or veggie.

It's pretty much you control over portions and what you eat.


Good luck with everything,
Shannon

Why do you tolerate that behavior at work? Listen, no money is worth the social and verbal abuse that you're getting. Talk to the other employees and tell them that you're not going to take it from them anymore. You need to be the strong one here or else everyone is going to continue lying about you and taking advantage of that. Now, if they don't stop that is something you should consider bringing up with your boss. Again, that behavior is unacceptable especially in the work place. You are not supposed to be disrespected like that for not doing anything.


There is a skill out there that you're good at. Everyone has something, and I know you do too. Realize that when you make a mistake, you must learn from it. If you feel upset for doing it you're just putting yourself down even more. Say "I'll do it better next time". Figure out what it is you did wrong, and try to solve what you can do to prevent it next time.


Exercise strengthens your mood alot. After you've worked out you feel as though you accomplished something. Additionally, the same applies to trying a new activity.


You've got to learn not to give up. You've heard it a lot over the years but it's true. Having this idea in yoru head promotes happiness and self-assurance.

People will start to pay more attention to you if you have a positive image about yourself. There is a girl everyday who comes to school every day frowning, wearing black, and she never makes eye contact. People already get the impression that she's a. lonely b. depressing to be around c. wants to be left alone by society. Meanwhile, she may be in need of friends but no one would ever know because she gives off a bad self image of herself and then people are afraid to talk to her. See what I mean? How you think of yourself does affect peoples opinion of you.

You're such a great friend to be looking out for her like this! She is very lucky to have you!


She seems to like this guy a lot, so it would be wrong to state that she shouldn't see him. Because he could be different than what you assume he is. What I would do before you tell Katie is get to know him. If Katie and Adam are around you guys, try and stir up a conversation. Or ask Katie about him, casually. You really can't say how a person is until you know them. It wouldn't be fair to prove that your thoughts are true until you know for sure and then you can form your opinions. Once you get to know him a little better and if your opinions about him are the same then it would be better to tell her then.


The only way Katie is going to know how you and your friends feel about this guy is if you tell her. But you need to be careful with how you're going to put it into words and say it to her without making her angry. You can start out with how she seems to be changing slightly. Mention the fact of lying to her parents and other ideas you can think of so she has an example. After that, tell her you tried to get to know hima nd so far you feel like he could be trouble.


Realize from her point of view, she'll be thinking you're acting motherly towards her. She could get upset. I'm not sure. You know how her personality is. So to make things less complex, reassure her that you're just nervous and you want to make sure she knows what she's doing.


But you've got to be supportive in her decisions. Even if you say this she may still continue hanging out with him. Guys drink and have sex just like girls, maybe even more. True - I see your point. But this is her life and her decision. If she wants to risk that, you really can't stop her. I'm sure she's smart enough to not go down to that level. It sucks to see a friend act differently or do soemthing stupid. But you've gotta realize, sometimes, that we all make mistakes and we can't protect them from everything. We can state our opinions and offer support. But the choice is up to her.


Good luck!

-Shannon

I would love to help you out more than anything but I'll need to know more information. I need to know the body of your speech or what it's based on. It helps to have three main key topics that you're present in your speech. This way those three main points will be the last sentence in your introduction. This allows a proper transition from your introduction to state each point separately. Or else you'll sound as if you have mixed thoughts.

One way to enchance your speech would be to understand what you're talking about and almost persuade them to agree with you.

If you're going for an imagery introduction you need to be able to describe the setting.

For example: In a gym filled with aggression and victory, one of the best places to end your day is the ___________. (Now state why you believe this) Rather than saying "This is because" save yourself the trouble and just state them. "You not only win a new gain of confidence in a skill you love but supportive friends and family too."

I don't completely understand this question but I'll do my best.

It seems like you give in to people too much. You should not do that because it will affect you at some point. You do have the option of speaking up and saying "no".

If you dislike the people you have out with you don't need to keep in contact with them. Simply find friends who have similar interest as you or people who you think have good qualities. This way you'll be much happier and better off. If you do want to still hang out with these people you can. But if they do something bad and you don't want to be apart of it you don't have to. You can still talk to them you just need to be able to stand up for yourself and know what you don't want to do and be able to get yourself out of that situation.


I'm sorry you were in the hospital. Simple fact: If you're afraid of buying drugs don't buy them. You'll have a much lower risk of getting caught and you won't have to worry about going to the hospital.

Good luck!

-Shannon

Guys are crazy. Well, some. My friends comment like that to me. I typically take it playfully and comment back. But from what I'm hearing in your question crosses the line. He shouldn't be commenting like that. I mean, I know people have their dislikes but they ought to respect people differences.

I can't really tell why he does this because I don't know him. But I have an idea.

Guys tend to present themselves as being "rough" and maybe he thinks he's superior to you and that he can't show fear. Maybe the reason why he puts you down is because he's insecure with himself.

To know the real answer you need to ask him. Talk to him and ask him why he feels it's necessary to bring you down like that. EVen if he is joking around he needs to know what's appropriate and what's not.

-Shannon

One thing about control freaks is that they always feel like they need everything perfect in their eyes. What they don't understand is that perfect can mean something absolutely opposite then someone else.

You're right that you should not have to cry and beg just to be able to hang out with your friends or go somewhere. That's asinine. And the fact that you have to carry on with this behavior to get their approval confuses me. Instead of begging or crying, work with it step by step. First of all, you're going to want your voice in a steady, calm manner. You should probably try and hold back any anger if they continue to not allow you to go. Rather than fighting back be understanding and nod when they give a reason. If they don't give a reason ask them if there is a reason. State that appropriately. Last step is when they are finished voice your opinion with a really good reason as to why you should go. If they say no you can consider compromising with them. But if you can't win just say "Okay, maybe some other time". If they see you trying to act mature about it they may consider letting you go out more.


I agree with you about your room. Being artistic, I realize you need to be creative in what's yours. Maybe if you offer to pay for some decorations that you could put up your mom might let you. I think one of the biggest problems is that she may not like change. And for some, change is a fear or hard to get used to. If that's the case then it's hard to help someone get overcome that. It's not your fault, or it's nothing against you personally. It's in their head and it's part of their personality. It's like trying to get an alcholic to stop drinking. They need to want to do it first. You know what I mean? If you are able to actually talk to her without her drowning you out, you could ask her if you can start off slow by moving things around. Not the computer or the furniture. But amybe placign posters up in a different area. Or puting a chair a different way. It's all about working slowly. But once you get your one place you can do whatever you want.


Lastly, don't ever tolerate inappropiate talk from your brother like that. He should not call you a bitch, slut ect. But instead of calling him those back, act liek it doesn't phase you. Simply ignore it and he'll get bored. If he's smart he'll stop it out of boredom. He must have a lot of time on his hands to call you that. But it shouldn't bother you anyway because you know you're not those things.


But I believe your mom is so controling because she loves you. Sometimes parents have a tendency to hold on to their children to much and protect them. It's not such a bad thing sometimes, it could just be the way she expresses her love.


EDIT- Aww, thank you!!

You mean build you a column on this site? I will.

abstractopiate - AIM
OR
sweetsimplicity89@hotmail.com

for contact.

I'm back! 6 years on this site and counting! Let yourself be known for something. It may not be perfect but imperfections are so much more interesting and fun!

I'm well known from my high interest in people. I thrive off helping others.

A lot of people say they have been through a lot. And well, this is true for almost everyone, including me. Rather than let past harm me I embrace what I've dealt with and use it to my advantage in the future.

I'm 20. Turning 21 soon enough. Been there, done that but cetainly have much more to learn. No, I do not know everything and I wouldn't claim. I do know that I am dedicated, educated, generous, motivated, and ambitious. I give all my time and heart into each answer.

I specialize in art, education, communication, psychology, massage therapy, health, travel and destinations.

I know information regarding school, college, abuse, neglect, personalities, relationships, friendships, little bit of info on cars, licit and illicit behaviors and or subjects. But I will be willing to answer anything!

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