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My bestfriend is starting to annoy me. She constantly complains about her life being terrible but I know for a fact it isn't that bad. Her family is so nice and she treats them like shit. I know she just wants attention so I'm not giving it to her. It's starting to ruin our friendship though because she's clingy and doesn't want me to have other friends. I'm hanging out with new people because she's not fun to be around anymore. I want to tell her life isn't that bad but I know she's going to freak out and I don't want to deal with it. She's selfish and thinks she's the only one with problems but all her problems could be solved if she tried. I'm going through a lot and I can't deal with this anymore. It's to the point where I don't want to be friends with her anymore if this is how she is going to be. (link)
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Just block her out. You don't want to be her friend anymore. Tell her that and avoid her. If she continues to be annoying, annoy her by hanging around with the friends you say she doesn't want you to have. Annoy her even more than she is annoying you by not paying any attention to her at all. You already said that you know all she wants is attention so don't give it to her.
I hope I helped!
Good Luck!
- Melanie
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I'm M/16. A year ago, I thought I'd be doing better. It seems I've made very little progress. I have a lot of problems, mostly ones that are all in my control. First off, I have a bad addiction, it's nothing illegal, I just think it's wrong and effects my social life. I went from everyday to every weekend. Sometimes I'd go two weeks, I would feel so much stronger and more powerful. But once any little thing happens, I go right back. On top of this, I have alienated a few girls that I liked, so there are no girls in my life right now. And I feel like the one I like now thinks I'm weird or creepy. When I stop my addiction for a while, it's easier to talk to people and I have more fun, but like I said, any little thing might bring me down and I'll relapse. So I assumed that this girl doesn't like me and I relapsed after thinking that she's trying to ignore me. I'm so dumb, I wait until the very last minute for things and I create these stupid expectations and fake realities in my head, then get obsessed with someone I barely know. I regret so much and I've lost hope so many times. I'm sure I'll eventually stop for like three weeks then get pissed off for no good reason and relapse. It's like a never ending cycle. The only progress I've noticed is going from everyday to every weekend, and being less shy. But I'm still left in the same position I've been in for about 2.5 years. I'm just so pissed at myself. And I feel like I could be doing so much better, in the past I've done better.I no longer have people to talk to, I've basically alienated all of them. Then I had the nerve to feel abandoned. I've failed a lot in school too, 2 years ago failing was an anomaly. And now it's me. And I hat when people put me down and demotivate me when I slowly start to get better. Judging me and calling me names doesn't make it better. And stupid grades, making a false image of someone. Stupid numbers can't tell you anything about me except for how well I followed someone's made up requirements. I can learn what was taught, pass the test proving it, but still fail. School isn't for learning anymore, it's all about building a huge ego of numbers to go to a stupid college, 'cause if I don't go to college, I'm gonna be a stupid burger flipper. Yeah right, are they trying to make us close minded? School is like blackmail. "You don't have to do this, but if you don't we'll make you look bad" And if I learned what was taught, I did not take it for granted. (link)
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One thing you need to do is not worry about what people say to you or about you, & don't try to change because of someone. You already want to change, so do it for yourself, not because you want people to stop calling you all the mean names. The sticks & stones quote is very cold-hearted but I agree with it. People see how determined you are & they just want to see you fail. So annoy the shit out of them by succeeding. You will see what a big difference it will make in your motivation if you keep picturing them when they see you happy.
As for school, don't worry about the teachers and all that. Trust me it is not good to have perfect grades either because you are under a lot of pressure for the expectations of others.
People will want to bring you down for everything that you want to do, no matter how badly you want it. I can tell from what you wrote that you have tried very hard and are very determined to fix things. You need a break from the people around you. Do you have someone who you can talk to who won't judge you for your addiction and can talk to you about this problem for as long as you want? Are your parents available? Anyone that you trust, even if it's someone who barely knows you even, you need to talk to someone. If you can't find someone, here's a good idea: write it in a journal somewhere. Not like a diary, but like a progress journal. Write down the number of days since your last fix. As the numbers increase, your confidence will grow. You can even write when you're angry and then wait until you calm down and read it again. You'll see for yourself what I mean. I wish you luck!
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I am from Canada. Ok so there's this guy in my class that I really like and I don't know how to tell him and I don't know if he feels the same way about me... What should I do about this?? Should I tell him??? Should I ask his friends if he likes me??? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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All I know is, DO NOT talk to his friends about him, at all! It will spoil everything! Guys DO NOT know how to keep their mouths shut!
You should get him alone and talk to him. Just don't go all creeper status on him lol. Just remember, be you! Don't act like something you're not and feel confident when you talk to him. It will make him want to listen more. Good luck and I hope I helped!
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Any one know of writing sites to write very descriptive adult content without getting banned or whatever? (link)
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Wattpad.com is really good for all ages, as long as you categorize your story!
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Alright well my boyfriend or fiance I should say, has dedicated a few songs to me, so I need some for him and I need a good nickname for him too, his nickname for me is "Boo" and he wants me to come up with a nickname for him, but I can't think of a good one that suits him...
we've been together for about 8 months now btw
He's real sweet, he's understanding, he's caring, he's funny, romantic, very athletic, just plain out amazing :3, tall, has brown eyes, brown hair and his eyes sparkle whenever he sees me :) oh and he's 15 almost 16.. (link)
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Well I would sing either;
Jump then Fall - Taylor Swift
You and me - Lifehouse
Anyone else but you - Moldy Peaches
Mine - Taylor Swift
So Listen - Cody Simpson
As for the names, I would pick something that describes the way you feel about him or something that comes to your mind when you think about him. Let these things just pop into your head. You can't force things like this. But for the songs, it's a bit harder to do that.
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Well,Im 14 and me and my boyfriend have already spoke about how we feel for eachother and how we want to spend our lives together,i know many say your too young to be thinking about it let alone discussing it,But we really love eachother and he said if we last a few more weeks he will propose to me. Honestly i don't know what to do,i mean i love him alot and weve been together for a while now but im not to sure how to react.i dont know wether to say yes so we have a long time to talk about our future or say no and deal with it when were a btit older.Any ideas? (link)
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Answer him honestly. Say what you wrote here. Tell him you don't know what to say. Be as real with him as possible. If you really like eachother enough to be talking about things like this so openly, he will understand. I'm 14 too, and that is exactly how I would react. You don't want him to be confused or have the wrong idea about anything, especially now.
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I am nineteen and a female. I work at a retail store and have a bit of a crush on a fellow coworker. I don't know him too well, but he's attractive and nice and all that. We sort of banter back and forth a little bit, and I'm interested in spending time with him outside of work, but I don't really know how to get to this next step. I'm a girl who usually lets guys come to me, but, of course, I'm not sure he's going to because it's a work environment. How should I coyly give him my number or ask him to hang out or whatever? It's not like we have every shift together. Should I just wait for him to come to me? (link)
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This might sound dumb to you but I would do it
sing "Call Me Maybe" to him and give him your number when you say "but here's my number, so call me maybe" haha trust me it works!
EDIT*
aww thanks, that's a first
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I feel so lame for seeking out advice on something like this at the age of 20, but I don't know where else to turn. My family friends have this cousin who I am completely and utterly in love with, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if he would ever bother giving me a chance, or if I'm wasting my time because he is so close with my brother that he would never want to screw up their relationship. It's literally to the point where I can't even date anyone else because he's all I think about and I don't want him thinking that I want anyone else. Help! (link)
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To askjane:
She didn't say it was HER cousin. She said it was a FAMILY FRIEND'S cousin.
To the person who asked the question:
Why don't you just tell him? There's nothing wrong with telling a guy how you feel, as long as he doesn't have a girlfriend already. Please, don't make the same mistake I made by not expressing your feelings. It will spare you a whole lot of confusion and frustration.
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I'm 17/f. I see all my friends have long-lasting relationships and they go everywhere with their boyfriends and they're happy. I've never had that. My "relationships" were all about sex pretty much. I have quite a past of guys that I thought made me happy, but really I look back and I've never had a good relationship. I'm attractive, have a good personality, have a promising future, and I can get along with any type of person. What's wrong with me? I'm almost 18 and I'm sick of feeling like I've been used.
I honestly don't even want a relationship with sex in it because I'm sick of it. I've never been on a date and I've never had a fun time with a guy that didn't involve sex. And thinking about it makes me mad. Why can't I have that? I want to stop doing the same things.
And now I like another guy and I have a bad feeling that it will turn out the same as my past relationships. How can I have a good relationship with someone? Please help. Thanks in advance. (link)
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Look at yourself before you feel bad that you can't have the same thing as your friends. Look at the way you dress and how you present yourself. "The way you act is the kind of guy you attract." You can't just go on saying oh god why all the time. You have to do something. Always do this; if there's something that confuses you, as in why you have different experiences than your friends, then you have to look at yourself. You're doing something wrong, not the guys youre attracting. You are what they look for, so if your ass and tits are out, then put them away and start atracting the good guys that you want.
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So I'm not a bad kid. I'm a 15 year old girl. I'm a good student, I got all A's last year and I do not smoke, drink, or do drugs and no sexual contact. I work hard in school and horse riding. I try hard to please my parents. My parents did hit me and spank me with a belt when I was younger. I'm not bad to my parents, sometimes I may talk flippant however the meanest thing I've said to them is that they are annoying. They get mad at me and offended by the smallest silliest things. They hit me and insult me, and I have lost a lot of respect for them. I cannot take it anymore and I've started cutting as of late. I honestly never thought I would I thought that it was stupid and pointless but I guess now it somewhat helps as stupid as that sounds. I have contemplated suicide a lot. I'm so depressed and alone and I have no one to talk to. I don't know what to do but my realtionship with my parents really sucks and there's not much to do to make it better and I don't like living this way. (link)
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I am so sorry. Email me: melanielovesdylanobrien@gmail.com
I have helped a lot of my friends feel better. I'm sure you would want to hear my story, one I would rather not post on my column, however. It's too private, but since you need it, I will gladly email it to you!
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I was having a purely sexual relationship with a young guy who had just come out of a five year relationship (he ended it). He slept over practically every night since the first time we hooked up for about a month. He cried in front of me, he held me all night, the only thing he refused to do is go out. We seemed happy in our time one on one though. This made me fall in love with him but he only wanted friends with benefits. So he stopped pursuing me the moment I said I love you and we had some drama but then we reunited on Monday night - went out and had a casual night by the lake. It also happens to be the same day he saw his ex for the first time since their phone breakup and he ended it in person and had the talk with her. When he walked me home that night I'd never felt so close to him. He also requested we take a picture together and I sent it to him on his phone. When he walked me home he said he didn't just want to walk me home he wanted to stay over and we had an incredible night. We had sex twice more in the morning on Tuesday before I left for work. I didn't get a text or a phone call until Friday! He texted "what's up?" at 1:30 in the morning. I didn't get it until Saturday morning because I was asleep. Told him I was going to yoga and to have a good day. Now it's Sunday (and a long weekend so we both have Monday off) and I haven't heard from him at all. I'm afraid we're in a no contact zone. What happened??? (link)
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He used you, that's what happened. Don't you see? He didn't want to be with you, he just wanted friends with benefits. He used you as a crutch to get over his ex. Now he's done with you. Those kind of guys are assholes. My advice to you is, pick different kinds of guys than that to fall in love with, not someone who will use you as a rebound. I hope you can learn from this, because this sounds like a virgin losing her virginity to an asshole who avoided her after he got in her pants.
Good luck
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ok well my mum grew up never seeing or knowing her father because when she was born he father left her mother and her mother remarried.as a kid she never got told that her mum's husband wasnt her real father.she found out when she was twelve and saw her real fathers name on her birth certificate.she met up with her real father once but isnt in contact anymore.her father had 3 other kids in which 2 my mum has contacted years ago but has never seen them.all of them also have kids(my step cousins!)and one of them is the same age as me...
i really want to meet them or atleast be in contact with them!they're my cousins!
how can i find a way to contact them?? (link)
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Well does your mom still have contact with them? If she does, would she want to go meet them?
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Painless death, that's all I'm after. Please no religious fanatics, I'm not religious. I'm in Australia.
Thanks (link)
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Have you considered what your family will feel like if you committed suicide? No? Then here:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/plugins/p2061_news/printarticle.php?p2061_articleid=6
if you can, please print it!
Religious or not, suicide is selfish^ and cowardly. Sorry to be so blunt, but NOTHING in life is so unbearable that you have to take your life. there is nothing in life you can't get through.
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I am a 17 year old girl living in Iran. My best friend has very low self esteem, and she started cutting her arms recently. We are both not very happy with our lives, and we always wish we could get out and live a different life, but she has more problems than that. She is starting to starve herself because she thinks she's fat, and she always thinks people don't like her.
I always tell her that I'm there for her no matter what and that she's not alone, and I tell her she looks beautiful very often, but I feel powerless, I feel like there's nothing I can do, and since I've never considered taking my own life (she's been showing signs of considering suicide) I don't know what would be the right thing for me to say to her, I don't know how she would want me to react when she tells me she's been cutting, or how she's tired of her life and how it all seems pointless.
I try to tell her about the good things in life, about all the great things that are yet to come, and about all those people who love and care about her, including myself. I just don't know what to do anymore, I wish I knew how to help her, and I really hope you can help me.
Thanks in advance (link)
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Tell her how you would react if she died. Tell her that if she was gone, the world will be different. And you said you tell her she is beautiful? Not a good idea. This will make her feel even more isolated. When she doesn't believe you, show her this;
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/plugins/p2061_news/printarticle.php?p2061_articleid=6
No one deserves to be going through such pain and suffering. What does she want to be when she is an adult? Remind her that if she ended it now, she wouldn't know what her kids would look like, and it gets better. If she still doesn't believe you, show her this;
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm
I admire you for actually stepping forward to help instead of sitting there thinking about how. It is a very good thing to ask questions. Do not be afraid to ask her. That is the best thing you can do now. Trust me, you will regret not trying to help later. You would remember her forever. She will always be in your heart from now on, dead or alive. I can tell you really care about her. Thank you for this question. I am so glad I could help you by seeing this in time. Some other websites:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm (very, very good help guide)
http://depression.about.com/cs/suicideprevent/a/suicidal.htm
I sincerely hope I helped, and I hope you looked at all of these, and if they are not what you are looking for, please forgive me.
Good Luck !!! You won't regret it I promise!
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My family is really big, loud, eccentric and crazy. I'm afraid that if I introduce my boyfriend to them they might do something or say something embarrassing. My grandmother likes to tell personal business and embarrassing stuff that I don't want my boyfriend to hear. My dad is overprotective and most of my family members blab about stuff that they shouldn't. Even if you tell them not to say anything embarrassing, they will pop out with something embarrassing. I have loud cousins that might say something embarrassing. I don't even want them to know I have a boyfriend. My mom & dad like to ask people personal questions. My little cousin is just a drama queen and a brat. I know if my boyfriend meets my family he will think we are weirdo's. Because every time we have a family dinner there has to be a problem.What should i do? (link)
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Tell him ahead of time what he's going to see so he won't be too surprised, and after all, you don't HAVE to introduce him. Also tell your family to try not to embarrass you and seriously talk to them about it so they know it's important to you.
Good Luck!
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Hey there (apologies for the length!)
Hm I don't even know where to start with all of this this..
Okay so basically 7 months ago the night of my 18th birthday I went out with a bunch of my friends to celebrate.(18 is the legal age here) anyway my drink got spiked pretty bad. I suffered a major reaction and doctors say it caused a chemical imbalance in my brain. Basically I totally tripped out I was hallucinating and became super paranoid around people. My mood went from completely up to completely down. I essentially suffered a psychotic break down. All of this couldn't have happened at a worse time as a few days after my birthday I was to receive my exam results and head off to college. I was placed on medication to reverse the effects. Anyway the day I received my results I was still pretty out of it. I did exceptionally well but missed out on my dream course by one grade in a particular subject. So I decided not to go to college this year (given everything that happened I wasn't in a fit state) and to re apply for a similar course next year.
All of my friends got what they wanted and headed off. so basically I'm feeling completely left behind. All of my friends have moved away and begun new exciting lives. We all still keep in contact and they have been extremely supportive over what happened to me but I'm still sad all the time. It kills me hearing about all their stories when they are home at weekends or when we have get togethers. Looking at their photos on facebook I just get pangs of jealousy seeing them with their new friends and I don't want to feel that way. I used to be such an outgoing vibrant girl ready to take on anything excited for college etc. But now I feel like i've been replaced with this shy girl. I get nervous before meeting up with my friends because I worry I won't have anything to talk to them about even though most of the time it goes fine. They even threw me a surprise party to celebrate me coming off the medication a few weeks ago. I just feel like my life was turned upside down. I was soo excited about college. I start next September but now instead of being excited I'm terrified. I don't feel as confident as I used to and I'm so scared I won't make any friends. I also fear I Won't be able for the course work. I feel nervous all the time. I worry i'l never be able to accomplish anything. I worry about silly little things that shouldn't be a big deal but for me they now suddenly are. One friend in particular keeps asking me to visit her in college but I keep putting it off because Im actually scared of traveling on my own! something I used to do all the time!
I used to go out and party all the time and now I hardly ever. The only thing that keeps me going is my boyfriend who has been so amazing to me. I'm just feeling lost. I don't know how to break free from all this and get back to how I used to be?
I suddenly compare myself to people all the time. The medication made me gain weight not a lot but a little to make me feel even worse about myself. Ive come a long way since all this happened but I'm still not there yet. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
(link)
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Hi! :)
Have you tried yoga or getting massages? I tried yoga in 7th grade last year because i was stressed out because there were 3 different projects due that same week, and two of them on the same day and I couldn't concentrate on them because my parents were fighting a lot and it really took a toll on me when on Monday of that week they announced that we were moving. The whole point if me telling you this is that the yoga temporarily took my stress and uneasiness away and for about the rest of that day (until I came home, of course) I was able to function normally in class and lunch and everywhere else. (my PE class was in the morning) now I've been away from my dad for about 4 months and I miss yoga :'(
What yoga did for me was the stretching and breathing that you had to do with it. That was what calmed me down. I never realized that breathing was something that was easy to concentrate on and yet it made such a difference.
if you have the patience to even do yoga, then my answer at least helped, but if you don't, then I'm sorry I wasted your time.
I hope I helped at least a little!
Good luck!
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How do i cut my wrists so that i can kil myself? (link)
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Please, go on my column and look for the very, very long question. Please read it. You need it.
Smile! :)
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The same thing happened to me.. in the end how did you get the tampon out? (link)
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Find the string and pull it gently and if it's ready to come out, it will slide out easily. By "if it's ready" I mean if it has enough blood. If it's an extremely absorbent one, then it may take longer than 4 hours but if it takes more than 6, you're in trouble.
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It's like we first meet and they're excited and it's easy for me to be comfortable around them, and then we drift. I suck at keeping friends and I literally have no friends to hang out with and I'm about to graduate high school and I literally haven't even hung out with a friend from school in like 2 years. whats wrong with me dear god. and all i'm left with are people i dont really get along with who are not even in my grade instead of the people i once got along better with, in my actual grade but i just f*** up everything and it's just all f***Ed upand idk why i cant have a proper friend correctly, apart from on the internet. its so frustrating, i'm going to have to blackout most of my adolescence cause it's nothing i'll look back on fondly and it's all my fault (link)
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This sounds more like a rant than a question lol but here's my advice:
Analyze exactly what you're doing. Don't blame God or even yourself. You need to watch what you do/say/act like towards them. If it's something that people usually hate or get annoyed by, then stop. You might have a major social problem if this really does happen with EVERY friend. You need to, like I said, monitor yourself and try to figure it out. I font really have much details so I can't really specify on the things hat make people drift, but I'm being as genaric as possible.
Good luck and I hope I helped!!!
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how do we do masterbration (link)
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Well I really dont think we're allowed to tell you exactly how but all I can say is Google it and maybe Wiki or Yahoo people can answer it. :)
But I think it's pretty safe to tell you that you should have a good amount of time to do it and close and lock the door to have privacy so that no one can walk in on you.
Ok that's it good luck and enjoy!!!
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