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Hi i'm 25/m and I have an amazing gf I have been with almost 3 years. I love her very dearly and am ready to marry her. Only problem is I tend to screw things up by talking to other girls behind her back. I don't try to flirt but I guess I get creepy. I then lie to her about things cause i'm scared to lose her. Can anyone please help me figure out why I do this and how I can stop doing it. After the last time I could never do it again but she doesn't trust me as she shouldn't. I am willing to do anything it takes to fix my life. I have even started contacting psychologists. (link)
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Dear Mr. Insecure,
The question you have to ask yourself is that when you talk to other girls, is it the intention of wanting to hookup or just a self satisfaction to see if you still have any game left in you? If you truly are in love and ready to marry this girl then stop assuming you are going to do something to screw it up because you will. When you are certain about one important thing in your life, in this case, your girl, then all other things around you are very minimal. Ask yourself this, "When I talk to another girl, do I see me with her or do I know what i have at home and it's good enough for me? If you need to feel secure about this, talk to her and let her know how you feel. Also role playing may work sometimes because if she is willing to try to be someone different once in awhile where you are flirting with "another" girl to make the relationship more fun to you, it's like having the best of both worlds.
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I am married, and an adult...I deal with Panic disorder and anxiety... I have a low sex drive, and as a woman, there isnt much help out there. I love my husband very much, and I want to overcome this, so any help would be great. Its not that I get anxious about it, or anything along those lines, I am just very rarely in the mood, and can go months at a time without thinking about it. (link)
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Dear Mrs. Panic,
It's not easy to admit when a condition has become part of your life so I applaud you on that. What you really need to face is what causes the condition to come out from you and face that. Also take into account that when you love someone especially in this case, your husband, it is a happy and joyous time in your life that needs to be celebrated. One good thing I know is that setting the mood usually is starting with doing something that makes you happy. For example, if you're hungry and in the mood for something sweet, you could use it in a seductive manner to justify the mood. Usually when it's something you already like can be an ignition to start something passionate. Try it and see how it works.
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I am looking for Godly advice please. My husband got violent today, threatening both me and my daughter, breaking things and hurting us... I went to the police, which I have never done with him, and now he is in jail. I dont know that he will even try to come back, it may be that he just lashes out, or never contacts me again. But what if he does, what do I do if he wants to get help and come home? How do I handle this? Im scared, and trying not to fall apart. I dont think that what he did is ok at all, but does anyone know if the Bible says anything about how to handle this? (link)
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Seek God first in this situation because he will guide you to the right solution. Do not look for answers from people because some will tell you one thing and others will tell you another. In your heart you will know what is right for you and your child. REMEMEBER:
Philippians 4:13) 13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
Allow him to heal you in this time of need and put you on the right path for the journey of your life.
Psalms 138:7) 7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me. You will stretch forth your hand against the wrath of my enemies. Your right hand will save me.
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I'm so afraid of my ex girlfriend seven years after she dumped me and then destroyed my confidence by accusing me of stalking her just for trying to make peace that every time I see her I want to run and hide.
My current girlfriend switches between being so nice to me and being incredibly angry and hurtful everytime I do anything wrong.
I can't get a job, and my writing isn't selling.
And I just want to smash my head against a wall but don't because I don't have it in me to do so.
I have this sneaking suspicion that when I die, all I'll have to show for my life is nothing.
Male, 27. Someone, I'm not asking for miracles, just an actual solution to my life that doesn't involve disconnecting from reality and curling in a ball for the rest of my days. (link)
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Dear Painful Life,
It's not easy to feel confident when you have allowed someone to control your life for so long. When you get blinded by the past it reflects on your vision of your present and future. Maybe the reason you have been with someone recently who is more like Jeckyl and Hyde is because you have allowed your past to dictate your life and put you in the situation to be with someone that would repeat the same patterns towards you.
As for your writing, make sure it is something you truly believe in because true writers will put themselves on these pages and are able to prove their passsion in what they write. Maybe your life itself cam be a great story and how you can overcome the obstacle of not allowing yourself to be sucked in by the negative aspects of your past and present. Surround yourself around positive people who add and multipky to your life. Want, to be a great writer than find a great writer and talk to them to see what they did. It's up to you to learn from others but take into account what is right for you. When you are happy, then your writing is more focused and driven, your relationship is more stable, your life is more fullfilled. It starts with you!
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I have a friend who I've never met - we're pen pals - but whom I used to talk to on the phone at least once a day. About five months ago she lost her temper with me for a very stupid reason and started calling me names online, on various blog sites. I asked her stop, she would for a day or two and then start back up again. She goes through this period of "I'm sorry" and I want to believe her, so I give her another chance, but then the name calling starts up again. She's done this four times now. All attempts of reasoning with her have failed. As have all attempts to let her know it's not fair to me to call me names, apologize and get mad that I can't forget the things she's said about me. It's always my fault - I'm not around enough, I don't call her, etc. And by the way, she's 25 and I'm 27, if that makes a difference; which I know, it shouldn't. (link)
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Dear Pen Pal,
The true meaning of friendship is one that you can fight and forgive one another. But a true friend will never take that fight to the public. It seems you get caught up in looking at yourself and wondering what causes these moods with her when you should evaluate and try to find out what is going on with her. If you don't you will continue being a punching bag instead of a support system.
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How can I grow faster? (link)
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Dear Giant,
Just because you're short or small doesn't mean you can't feel tall and big. When you're worrying about how tall you are phsically then you take away how tall you are inside. Most people believe that they are to short or too small for something when everyone in the world is a GIANT in their own right.
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thing is i am happy person but some reason i have my lip close look like i am frowning how i get ride of that? i mean i feel like i have to smaile all the time show i not frowing lol. thanks (link)
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Dear Frowny,
If you think that you are sad then maybe you are, As you evaluate your life try to rememeber what you are thinking of that moment that makes you seem sad. There is no need to fake smile when your feeling sad inside. Sometimes you feel better when you release that pain that is causing the sadness thus letting you smile for the right reasons. Happiness can only be real when you let it. Don't put on a show but be the show knowing that you can do great things with your life.
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I feel like my dad is treating me the way that his parents have treated me. To back track...
His parents and my parents were born in a time where boys are good and girls are useless. My mom hated the sexism in that. When my older sister was born, everyone was like well, okay. Then when I was born, my dad's parents were like, grr, she's a girl. So they never bothered to come and see me when I was a baby. I'm afraid that my dad's kind of catching onto that.
Nowadays, he's always telling me to take care of my business by myself. I mean, yeah, I guess that's good but listen to this. I don't want to sound spoiled or anything but. . .
When my sister was still in high school, he took care of keeping all her report cards, awards, test scores, etc. He also took care of finding out information about colleges she was interested in, planned out when she should take what SAT, etc. He planned out everything for her. Now that I need to start looking into colleges and everything, he's telling me, I'm not going to do this for you. You look stuff up yourself. Here's what I did for your sister when she had to so if you need an outline, here it is. Oh, and by the way, you take of your own stuff from now on.
I mean, yeah, he takes me to places if I need to go and helps me with math questions. But other than that, he's just telling me to do things on my own because he's not going to bother doing so as he did for my sister.
Yes, I know I should get over it and embrace this as a "learning" experience but at the same time I can't help but wonder why he's so helpful to my sister yet tells me to do stuff by myself. (link)
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Parents want the best for their kids. They want to see the best of them in us. What your father probably sees when he looks at you is an independent young woman who is capable of taking on the world. Never doubt your father's love for you. He may not show it as much because he wants to be a tough guy on the exterior but deep down he has that soft side. One of the biggest things parents do is always be concerned for their children. He sees you as adult and feels that there is less worry with you then there is for your sister. He sees himself in you that's why he is more tough on you. Talk to him. You will see how much he loves you but also wants you to do great things because he knows you are capable. Don't lose that focus that you will do great things in life.
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Me and my guy friend Mike have had a very rocky history. We've dated in the past, hooked up, fought, stopped speaking to each other, became friends again & so on and so forth. Anyway Mike is the most emotionally closed-off person in the world. He never opens up to ANYONE, not even his best friends. Just once I wished he would open up to me about something, anything really, but I knew it was not to be.
Well the other night he got some bad news and took it out on me. We got into a pretty bad fight [via texts] because he read something I wrote online that he assumed was about him [it was not at all]. After I informed him of his mistake, he believed me but still was picking a fight with me. As usual I was emotional and upset & he seemed to be uncaring. I figured if this is it and he doesn't want anything to do with me, I might as well let all my feelings out now. And I did. [I've let him know my feelings in the past, and he usually responds somewhat emotion-less or uncaring, and never says how he feels.] Well I guess something struck a nerve because he didn't respond for a while, and then when he did it shocked me. Basically he opened up to me and told me one of the deepest darkest things about himself. It was like he had finally done what I always wanted him to....yet now I was upset because it was so personal I didn't even know how to respond. Also it put into context why he's been acting he way he has and how it's not me that's been pushing too hard or anything, it's his own inner-battle. I finally came up with something to say but of course that was when my phone crapped out on me and hasn't been working right since. Then he texted me the next morning to explain why he had reacted so harshly originally and that he was sorry for taking his anger out on me. Again, I couldn't respond because of my eff-ed up phone.
Today I IM-ed him, just to let him know that I did recieve those messages and that I wasn't ignoring him. He said it was fine and then we just sorta conversated about random things like normal. But all I can do is wonder now...where does that leave us? I'm not by any means trying to push him into a relationship or anything like that, but for him to open up to me I must mean something to him, right? At least in terms of friendship, that's all. And how can I go about letting him know that I'll be there for him if he needs someone to talk to without seeming to over-bearing or without bringing up some bad memories of his? Or should I just act as if nothing was ever even said...?
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance =) (link)
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There are times when we want to help or even save someone in our lives. As a friend you want to be there for them. As a lover you want to be with them. You have to first decide what you want then when you have done something like put yourself out there see what happens. If they dont want you then their loss. But you can remain friends as long as you keep your heart in tact to give to someone who will take it and appreciate what you have. You can still be a friend and find true love. It's up to you to decide what time is the right one to express either one.
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so here is the deal...
i met this great guy a year ago, but it was over the computer so i have never met him in my life. he is the sweetest guy i hav ever met but he is a "bad boy". He has a baby girl and the girlfriend died after she gave birth. He has dropped out of school and cant drive. Just to add to all my problems he is in the hospital and it is extremely serious. He isnt online that much so i rearely talk to him. I dont know if I should end it now before I get in too deep or if I should stick by him and hope things get better. Do I follow my head or my heart? (link)
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If you met a guy on the Internet and not in person, how do you know who he really is? You say that you do but the Internet can be manipulating. People are not what they always seem to be. If you are already having reservations about the situation now why put yourself in that situation? Sometimes we look on the Internet because it's easier to deal with people we never see than people around us. But you have to see that there is so much out there for you to experience and living your life. Maybe its good that you have concerns here so when you meet the right guy for you there will be no concerns.
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I've been friends with this guy since I was in 10th grade. I'm 23 now, so we've been friends for awhile. Recently, I got a phone call from this friend. He said that he was upset and he needed to talk. To make a long story short, he needed to borrow $80 to get himself to and from a funeral that was three hours away. I of course lend him the money.
The problem is, he lied about WHY he needed the money. There was no funeral he was attending. His friend didn't die like he said. He was going to some 3-day camping trip with like 500 other people.
He said he would pay me back on the first of the month and that's fine. But should I approach him about the fact that he lied to get money? Or leave it alone? (link)
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Sometimes we want to see the good in people. We ask ourselves that very question. But for something that was so insignificant why would someone lie about something serious like death. If we are compelled to help people do we do it for the right reasons or to make ourselves feel better. But in the long run when you look at someone like this could you really say ther were ever really your friend? True friends will lie to save you not to hurt you. Take your money and run. People like this will suck you down into their world of lies and misery.
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i don't know what it is... i've tried virtually everything .... went to a counselor and all....
but yeah i am not sure what is wrong with me......... i am having difficulties describing what i am feeling... depression anxiety fear paranoia panic loneliness claustrophobia phobia of being alone! i don't know i am mixed up! its all together... please can anyone help? (link)
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Everyday we all go through some type of struggles in our lives. What you need to do is make a list of both the positve and negative things going on in your life right now. Too many people will tell you how to live your life. The only person that should is yourself. You have to look at your life in its entirety. See things that work for you and help you make your life happy. Don't dwell in things that will bring you down because it will only lose your focus on what your life is and what it can be. To answer this there is nothing wrong with you. You are going through struggles we all go through. You are the one that can change that and make this for a great story to tell others who need to overcome the same problems. So my advice is to write your own story and make your life as happy as you want it to be. Remember you are the author of your own life and no one can take that away from you.
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ive been going out with my boyfriend for 5 months, on and off. we really like eachother. we break up for stupid reasons. he gets me reallly angry sometimes. his friends used to like me, and tell me things. but in the past month, me&my boyfriend broke up & i was really hurt. all of his friends knew, they told him& blahblah, we got back. but then all of his friends started talking about me, as they pasted me in the halls.. they tell practicly everyone they hate me. its really bothering me, & me and my boyfriend barly hang out now. i approached one of his friends, who hates me the most, & asked him why he has problems with me & he was like i just dont like you haha and walked away laughiing with his friends. i dont know what to do, i cant even talk to my boyfriend because him&his friends are alll alike. this is realy bothering me (link)
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Well if a guy listens to his friends then he is more like a girl who listen to hers. If you waste all your time and effort in being with someone who can't think for themselves then you're looking to get sucked down in that world of misery and unhappiness. Have a talk with your boyfriend and ask him what he wants. If he cares and wants the relationship with you great. If not, then don't worry about it because there are lots of guys out there that will be there for you and can think on their own two feet. Don't cheat yourself on being happy in life.
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ok well this guy likes me a lot and we always cuddle when we hang out. i feel really safe when im next to him so i love cuddling with him. but when he tries anything else, i back off.
i told him i just want to be friends, and he has told me he wants more.
but now we have been fighting bc ive been with other guys and now he just wants to end our friendship. but i cant stop thinking about him.
i really want him in my life so so much.
could i actually like him more than a friend?
im really scared to think that i do. bc im scared to hook up with him.
i dont know why, hes the only guy i get nervous around when it comes to hooking up.
im soo confused.
can someone help me please?
(link)
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First of all you need to take a step back and observe the situation. Friendship is a tight bond and when it comes between men and women it has to be established. Do you see yourself with a guy like this. He makes you feel safe but does he make you feel as you are worth it. Can you see yourself in a relationship with this person. Can you just look at thsi person and see them as a brother? Wants you establish what you want and let him know that he is an important person in your life it will take care of itself. Whatever you decide his actions will dictate whether he is worth being around. If you want a relationship then rest assure he is there. If you want friendship then if he is a TRUE FRIEND he will stick around. If not then know that he is just another person who chooses not to be a part of your life. Respect yourself more to know that you are a person worth being around.
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I would just like to know...if a guy & girl is flirting back & forth just at work...nothing serious, but, they are interested in each other...does the guy think about that girl as much as she does about him? Or do guys just think flirting as being friendly & don't give it a second thought? (link)
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The question you should be asking is do guys not think about you. People always want to think what others think about them. When you do that you are living your life through them and not the way you want. If you like someone and wondering if they are thinking about you then first know who you are and believe that you are ssomeone worth thinking about. Chances are someone out there is thinking about you as we speak.
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I had a boyfriend of 8 months. My first love. We broke up in September. I was heartbroken. I've learned to let it go and things aren't awkward or anything. But just recently, I've begun to miss him a lot. I think it's because I found out he was moving on to another girl and I was cleaning out my closet and I saw all the stuff he gave me, and I just broke down into tears. I like other people and things, but I always just wonder what I could have changed to make him not break up with me. I want to tell him this so bad because no one else can help me through this. He still knows me the best. I'm not expecting him to take me back, I know he won't but I don't know what else to do. I'm over it, I'm just not fully over him. (link)
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Sometimes lingering on the past clouds our life for the future. Nothing wrong about thinking about it but just don't live in it. Instead remember the great times you had and take them with you so you know what you want in the next relationship. People come and go in our lives but you will know who to keep and who to let go. Each lesson we learn comes from those experiences. Learn from them and create newer and better memories for the right person who comes along and recaptures your heart.
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I have a problem. It seems to be everytime I get close to a guy, like on a deeper level, I end up falling for them really hard. I don't really know how to distinguish my feelings between caring for them alot because they are my FRIEND, or caring for them alot because I actually like them, like them. I have friends that can be really close to guys but they don't get attatched like I do. Right now one of my best guy friends, I am falling for him, but I don't even want to because he's in love with another girl and I don't want to get between that. How can I look at guys as JUST friends whom I happen to be close to, rather than always having a feeling that we could POSSIBLY get together?
(link)
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Well you look at dogs but you don't fall in love with them. You just love them. Friendship is a key in relationships but you have to make sure that there is interest on both sides. If this guy is in love with someone else than do nou put all your time in this. You have to realize that there is a world out there full of guys who will give you that time. Open yourself up a bit because it will show people who you really are and bring that ONE person who is right for you.
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i am embarrassed... i'm from a small town so most of the guys i know are like brothers and the few -I MEAN FEW- that are left are the ones my parents sheltered me from my whole life (the bad influence they say... the immorals) anyway i moved to the city and i am 21... i know i am weired and my fam is weired... even though i am still kind of sheltered i am willing to venture into the world of dating -without them knowing. thing is how do i find a guy that is interested in me... i'm affraid i kind of give off a "sister" vibe which i can't seem to get rid of!!! helppp... i really like this guy who's a bit older and way more experienced i don't know what to do! i've been dressing up and all and i know i am grabbing people's attention but i can't seem to get him to act... i don't know how to talk with guys in that way... so for any advice please please give specific details....
i know i sound goofy naive and childish.... but i am desperate... (link)
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It's not the fact that you are sheltered it's that you haven't had the chance to experience life. They say that great realtionships start off as great friendships. Get to know this guy and what he likes. You may have similar things that you like to do. Then you make that suggestion to do them. If it works out great. If the you feel the need to put yourseldf out there and tell him the truth then do so. If it works out great, if not even great because then you will realize that you don't have to put any more effort in that situation. You have your whole life to live so go out there and live it. Nobody should tell you how to live your life or even dictate your goals and dreams. The risks are worth the rewards.
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Im a 20yr old female.
Me and my b/f have been going out for 2months and we were really serious. Well he came over every day for the time we were together and we started to fight alot recently. So he didnt know what to do. So he decided we should take a break from each other. That means not seeing me everyday or talking on the phone with me that much. Well we really love each other and we both think we are the one for each other. But the days that im away from him i become so depressed and just cry all day and i cant stop and i feel so sad. He tells me hes sad to and he only wants to do this time apart to work things out cause he really wants to be with me.My question is, how do i stop feeling so sad and how can i make my self not think about it while hes away? how do i make it to where he choose to get back together faster without me asking him to. Is there somthing i can do to get him back faster? (link)
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Dear Miss Sad,
Relationships are not easy. If they were, everyone would have one. The question you have to ask yourself is that is this guy "the one?" If he is, then realize arguments are going to happen. Don't look at them as a bad thing. Look at them as a way to constantly make your relationship stronger. If you two really love each other and want to be together, then think how fun it is to make up everytime. Think of your arguments as a new way to constantly check on your relationship. People break up for dumb reasons without realizing that as long as the love is there they should not let the little things come between them. Don't be one of those couples.
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Ok so I have never initiated a kiss but I have been kissed by guys, the reason is because I am scared that I will do something wrong, I am dating a super guy but I am scared to kiss him back so please help with some advice
HELP ME PLEASE!!!! (link)
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Dear Miss Scared,
kissing is like riding a bike...you have to be willing to take the chance to be able to learn how to do it. if a guy doesn't like the way you kiss then maybe he's not the right guy for you. just think how they feel when they first kiss you.
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