I am looking for Godly advice please. My husband got violent today, threatening both me and my daughter, breaking things and hurting us... I went to the police, which I have never done with him, and now he is in jail. I dont know that he will even try to come back, it may be that he just lashes out, or never contacts me again. But what if he does, what do I do if he wants to get help and come home? How do I handle this? Im scared, and trying not to fall apart. I dont think that what he did is ok at all, but does anyone know if the Bible says anything about how to handle this?
Allow him to heal you in this time of need and put you on the right path for the journey of your life.
Psalms 138:7) 7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me. You will stretch forth your hand against the wrath of my enemies. Your right hand will save me. [ Manulo's advice column | Ask Manulo A Question ]
LagunaBabe answered Saturday May 8 2010, 9:09 am: I am a Christian and honey, I can tell you that God would not want you to stay with this man. Others may tell you that you should stay, or your shouldn't get a divorce, however, God does not want us to be abused. Many Christians point to the bible verse "submit to your husband" however, that does not mean submmit to your husband if you are being beaten.
I'm glad that you put him in jail, that was the very best thing for you and your daughter. Do not go back with him because he may do it again, and if you really feel the urge to go back with him then you must be sure that he is taking steps to get real help (but i really recommend not going back). God will not think badly of you for not going back to him because husbands are also supposed to be kind to their wives, also mentiond in the Bible.
I wish you the best of luck with your situation, friend. You did the right thing by callig the police. Even if you feel as though you need to get a divorce, after what your husband has done, God will understand. Separating is also an option without divoring, if you would feel more comfortable. Pray and God will lead you in the right direction, he wouldn't want you or your daughter to be beaten and your husband will be held accountable for what he did. [ LagunaBabe's advice column | Ask LagunaBabe A Question ]
CelticAutumn answered Saturday May 8 2010, 1:48 am: That is a very brave, and very smart move to call the cops. If calls to get back home, do not answer him from then on. Try writing letters at first to see if he will act. If it seems safe after a while gradually start on the phone, then letting him talk to his daughter. Be careful and do not rush into it. Prisons can build or break character, but for this you need to wait and actually see. This doesnt mean he wont get into fights in prison, but be patient to wait for the correct signs. My father is more mellowed out than he was when I was 8 and he was imprisoned, of course it can go the opposite way. If you are still afraid by the time he is about to be released, look for a few shelters that could be able to protect you two.
Now I meditated for this answer: Do not hold back on the legalities. Do not step back on them. Do not try to yell at him or anyone else. Find something to release stress in until the wound starts to heal. You and your daughter both need to move on and that can be aided by forgiveness for his imperfection and by spending time with your daughter.
People are imperfect, we are all made that way, thus we learn and become closer to the ultimate goal. We must go through these challenges to learn. Learning forgiveness, learning responsibility for your actions, learning karma, and the loving gods grace. [ CelticAutumn's advice column | Ask CelticAutumn A Question ]
dearcandore answered Friday May 7 2010, 10:44 pm: Has he done this before? I must say it was very brave of you to call the police. I don't think the Bible gives specifics for a situation like this, but it does say in Peter that wives should "submit to their husbands" but right after that it says (and this is IMPORTANT) husbands "treat your wife with respect and love your wife as Christ loves the church". Obviously your husband has not met his end of this command. You can't submit to a man you don't trust to have your best interests at heart. Your husband is obviously disturbed in some way. Can people change? You bet. But not without lots and lots of help and support. My feeling is that he will want to come back. It is important that you don't let him back in your home until he has sought help. Help should come in the form of professional therapy and (since you sound like a woman of faith) church counseling. Your marriage doesn't have to be over (yet), but he has to take some serious steps to repair the damage to himself and to you and your daughter. She's what is most important here. You don't want her to grow up knowing her dad as a violent man. That will set her up for all sorts of trouble in the future. If he does decide to get help, please understand that it is a long process, and it will mean you two will need to be separated for quite a while until you are in a place where he can be trusted again. If he doesn't get help, or the help he gets isn't satisfactory, you must honor your obligation as a parent and keep you and your daughter as far away from him as possible. God hates divorce, but he hates to see his precious children hurt and abused even more. You've got some tough decisions ahead of you. Surround yourself with supportive people. Find a support group for victims of domestic violence, so you can talk to others who have been in your shoes. And stay in prayer. It sounds silly to those who don't believe, but prayer helps. Its your direct line to God and that's where you're going to find the most clarity in this situation. I hope all the best for you and your daughter in these trying days. Remember that God has promised never to give us more than we can handle. You must be a very strong woman! [ dearcandore's advice column | Ask dearcandore A Question ]
sml111992 answered Friday May 7 2010, 10:37 pm: you need to think about you and your daughters safety! do you want her to be around that its dangerous and she could be scared for life. i wouldnt want him back home hell just do it again. he will either want to come home or be mad but you should just think about safety and how your going to feel. [ sml111992's advice column | Ask sml111992 A Question ]
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