I love helping people out and I feel great giving advice to people out there I don't even know. It gives me great personal satisfaction knowing that the answers I give are pretty damn good. I have a cheery personality and I like art and music. I am not religious, but have a clear view of spirituality. I will never grow up completely, I clearly remember what it's like to be a teen, but now I have a much better perspective on how to get through it all because let me tell you, I have BEEN through it all. Glad to help any way I can...
Gender: Female
Location: New Hampshire
Occupation: homemaker:mommy
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2004
Answers: 132
Last Update: January 9, 2005
Visitors: 9528
Main Categories:
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I cant stand my family anymore .. I just got into a bad car accident a couple days ago on this one road where someone before me wrecked n died so i was lucky i made it.. well i came home n layed down on the sofa n my mom told me to sit up .well i was n pain and she didnt care she didnt even wanna leave work to come see me n my stepdad told me he didnt care i got into accident. i dont wanna be here anymore my mom wont even talk to me she just walks away.. (link)
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If they don't care so much maybe they could agree to let you stay with family or friends, I know how walking around on egg shells is a pain in the ass and it's no way to live...see if you can hook yourself up with another place to live, don't make yourself suffer. Just my advice.
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i have been with my boyfreind off and on kinda of for 8 months, i wanted to take a break becuase like i felt like he was holding me back from things i wanted to do, like he always wnated to knoe where i was or what i was doing and always aummesed things like he had no trust in me or sumthing. but during the break i tlaked to afew other guys and i felt likle happy talking to them and didnt wanan go back, but he keeps like sucking me backinto the relasitship bcuz he knows he kan, becuase i still care for him way to much and hes all in love with me and stuff and woukdnt never do ne thing againt me, i duno its jus hard, becuase im the one thats confused i could jus go right back into the relatsihip and b the sameold way but i think i want something new, hs the first guy ive ever relaly made out with kind of my first everything, so i odnt kno ne thing other then him so is kind of hard when alot of other guys want to like hang out or somethingand i want to but i cant knopwing i sitll have him, i duno im jus really confused ! (link)
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Yeah, um, I am the same type of person. I hate to be the one to break someone's heart. I wish I could have told this to myself 10 years ago so I will just have to hope that it helps you:
Don't stay with someone out of pity. Don't do that to yourself. I know it seems like if you break their heart then it totally contradicts the fact that you care about them, but you need to think of yourself and your own happiness first. The guy will need to learn to move on, forgive, and forget. You can't grow as a person if you lock yourself up inside a closet you don't want to be in. Get the hell out of there, the sooner the better. Good luck, sweetie.
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ok so recently, in the past few months, ive turned into a bit of a bitch. i honestly dont know why. i get annoyed a lot easier. most of the time, i get jealous really easy. like for example, my friend found out that i had a advice column, so he decided he wanted one. well i got really mad because its my "thing" and i wanted it to myself. im selfish and im whiney. i dont know why im starting to be like this. i also started doing drugs, becoming more "sexual", looking at porn, being belemic, and a lot of stuff that i know will ruin my life. i cant stop. im losing all my friends, and ive already lost a lot of them. i just dont know what to do. (link)
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Yeah, you need to pay attention to these obvious clues that you're headed in the wrong direction. There is something deeper inside than you know that is bothering you and you need to find what it is. Then you need to deal with it in positive ways. Start getting your creative energies flowing and make something of yourself that is only you and so unique. There must be something you love to do other than drugs, sex, etc. Maybe you used to paint, or write, play an instrument, run, ski, jump, fly, I don't know, but whatever it is you like to do, man, do it again and excel at it. I know it's easier said than done, but just remember the results are so much more rewarding when you turn negative energies positive somehow. Life gets hard sometimes for every human being...it's all about how you deal with it. I hope things get better for you:)
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ok heres my deal, i will be moving to fl from ca and i am shy and i want to know what is the best way to present myself in a friendly manner so that will able me to make friends...??
thank you so much! (link)
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Scope out someone you could talk to and just be kinda like, "Hey, I'm from Cali, what do you guys like to do after school and on the weekends and stuff around here?" If you said that to a bunch of different people you'll get a lot of different answers and maybe some plans along with it!! Just an idea, hope I was helpful:)
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Ok. My recent exboyfriend & I both work at the same place. That is how we met but now still have to work together despite us breaking up. It has only been about 2 weeks since we broke up and he's been telling everyone at work that it was mostly him who wanted to break up. I know this is kind of dumb but this bothers me because I was the one who had to bring it up(us breaking up). He never said anything to me about wanting to break up. And so he knows that it was mutual yet he's telling everyone that it was mostly him. He's the type of person to be boastful about things so this is just another added bonus. Should I confront him about it and how this bothers me and risk our friendship or just let it go and let him have his fame & glory? (link)
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It depends if you think the issue is SO important that you must risk stirring up confrontation. Or maybe there is a way for you to find that is gentle that you can talk about it comfortably with him, and possibly not at work or after a shift. Something possbile to say: "Just curious, some people are saying you broke up with me and some say I broke up with you. How did the ones that are saying you broke up with me get confused somehow? Do you know?" Just something kind of casual like that. I don't know how he'll respond, but at least you'll get it off your chest. It's up to you, but I hope I helped in some way!!***
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me and my bor friend did anal and now my butt hurt really bad and it hurts to sit down... this is way painfull let me tell ya! any thing on what i can do to make this go away
*painfull bottem* (link)
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OOOh, you're so brave. What a trooper. Um, it's just gonna take some time for the pain to go away, it's like the first time having regular sex, it hurts for a while after (it did for me, I know everyone's different). But, yeah, the only thing that will make it go away is time, unless you can fit some ice in that area, I really don't know. Ice is what I had to use after giving birth, so I guess it helps it numbs the pain. Ice is square though, it's weird. You could try to freeze a cold wet cloth I guess. But if you enjoy this kind of sex and your b'friend does too, I'm sure it will hurt less and less as you do it more and more. Hope you feel better more sooner than not!
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Well I've Liked This Boi Jeff For 4 Years And He Finally Nos I Like Him and I Found Out That He Likes Me To. But I Asked Him Out and He said I Don't Know. But I'm Going to Hang Out with Him Today He's Perfect for me My Parents Like Him My Brother aproves of Him..(which that never happens). But he juss is a nice person i don't no how i could flurt with him Sunday like what can i do?..I gave him a hug and stuff but im scared to hug him all the time..soo?? (link)
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I think maybe you're doing a good job already, you can't force someone to like you, just try to keep your cool and be yourself, but let him know you like him by showing it (hugs here and there are a good start). use eye contact like what he says is so important to you and just try to feel comfortable around him because a guy knows when you're able to have good control of yourself and it's attractive to them. Just whatever you do, don't be one of those overpowering, annoying chics, be fun to be around. Good luck!! Hope I helped!!
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Hey-i was reading through your column and i really liked the advice you were giving so i was wondering if you could help me out with a situation i have:
alrite so beginning of this year (i was still a junior in high school) i met a guy (a senior in high school who's now a freshman in college) through my best friend's boyfriend and one nite after all 4 of us hanging out i ended up hooking up with him. When it started out, neither of us was looking for a relationship, i was just looking to gain experience so i figured it was a great idea. Long story short-i went pretty far with him and got attached-towards the end of the school year we found out we both really liked each other, we went to prom together and were hooking up monogamously for about 4 months but he never asked me out-finally middle of summer he said he didn't wanna lead me on but he really didn't want a gf when he was gonna be leaving for college in a month-i told him i understood but naturally i was heartbroken. So i didn't see him the rest of the summer, i've just heard stories about him hooking up with other girls which killed me...literally but i finally finally got over him (its been a long long road). Anyways he's back for thanksgiving break and i haven't gotten play in awhile-so this friday we are getting together-im really worried cuz when i see him i don't know if i will have the strength to turn down hooking up with him, but i definitely know i don't have the strength to get over him again-at the same time....i desperately need play LOL. What do u think i should do?!?!
thanks
(link)
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Wow, yeah, you're definately going to feel your feelings for him rise to the surface again as soon as you see him. You "got over him" because it's been a while, but it doesn't erase what once was. It only dissipated, the emotions needed some place to go so they settled, but they are still there, just burried. So, be prepared to feel again, but I would say, go ahead and enjoy yourself. I know it hurts when it's over, I know this feeling all too well, but actually, in my experience I've learned to get used to getting over things when I have no choice to. Like I'm sure you've heard the saying it's kind of along the lines of "It's better to have loved than to never have loved at all." Definately, if the night is feeling right and everthing seems to be going so good, don't fight it. Some things start off slow and this could be the beginning of something wonderful, even though it seems like an eternal road with nothing at the end, take the time to check out the scenery along the way and you could find yourself at a great place in the end. There's definately going to be bumps along the way (a few girls on his part) when the road is long, but it's really unimportant and irrelevant to what is important: The fact that you two obviously like being with each other when you get to be. Nothing wrong with that. Now I don't know how far away his college is or whatever, but maybe you two could work something out, not serious because of his not wanting g'friend strain mixed in with school, but at least some keep in touch as friends kinda thing. Talk to him about it. You've known each other for a while now (off and on) but you should be able to talk about it. Let me know how it goes after Friday night!! Also, I appreciate your compliment on my advice giving. It's just that I enjoy it so I put my heart into it and it comes out good, (and very long because my answers are thorough if they need to be). Okay, have some fun 2morrow night and go ahead and enjoy the boy toy. As for the strenght you think you might not have, you don't need it. The time spent with him is more important. The soul craves things to long for, so you won't be able to help it. I hope I helped enough:)
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i've known my best friend for almost two and a half years now, and i have some hilarious pictures and memories from the past bit. also some serious ones and all that. anyway, i want to somehow incorporate everything he and i have been through into some sort of gift to be able to give him at the end of high school (we're juniors right now). but i'm kind of blanking on good ideas. i want to make sure it can have all of our inside jokes and all that, and be something he can keep forever, you know? any help would be greatly appreciated! (link)
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That's a wonderful idea. Good for you, your friendship with him sounds rare and special. They sell these really neat scrapbooks in stores that have places for you to put pictures and sayings and all kinds of stuff to get your creative energies flowing. I own one, myself. Have fun putting that together, whatever you decide to do!!
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Ok me and a girl have been going out for a while now we love each other very much, and yes we know the term love and how much emotion comes from it the most we have ever done is just kissed and we've decided not to go and have sex until like....we know each other for at least a couple of years or three. Im 17 and shes 16.But im worried, she says she loves me and i love her, but im afraid she will break up with me. I dont know why though she said she wont break up with me and i wont break up with her. We never have fights, we agree with each other, we have lots of fun together...is it just im paranoid? or should i be a little worried? im sorry that im stupid at this....lol but yeah im pretty good at advice but since its me thats trying to give my own advice to myself it doesnt actually work:P lol but please help me if you can. Thank you for your time. Sorry for the long question. (link)
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You are extremely smart to wait on the sex. I know the pressure can be hard, but you both seem to be comfortable with agreeing on the waiting. Yes, you are probably worried about nothing, you should be happy to have such a rare, beautiful relationship. Enjoy it all the way, man, (well, not exactly all the way), and if she wanted to have sex that bad to break up with you over it she would have already left you to sleep with someone else. She's not that girl. She's your girl who loves you. Try not to bug her too much either if you tend to say things often like, "please don't break up with me," or comments along those lines. Once in a while is okay but too much is annoying. Be happy and have faith in your girl!! I'm happy for you. I hope I helped at least a little. The main point I wanted to get across was that no you don't have anything to worry about unless you had real reason to believe she'd want to break up with you which it doesn't seem you do. Turn your anxiety into happiness!!
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i'm 17/f and i thought that i was pretty smart when it came to guys, but on two occasions i became the victim of a guy that wouldn't take "no" for an answer, i didn't get raped, more like pressured into doing something that i didn't want done, it's made me really self consious around other guys, i feel like i'm just an object and that i'm never going to get a good relationship because first off i had a bad experience with guys in the past and i was never close with my dad, and when i was 7 i was molested by my brother, so i've got to ask, am i a whore?? (link)
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No, sweetie, you're not a whore. You need to think a little higher of yourself. If you carry yourself like a "whore" (which you're not unless you try to be) then you may be attracting the wrong kind of guys. Hold your head high, make sure a guy is a good friend before you decide to get close enough to them to find out more. That guy who wouldn't take no for a answer is a whore, though!! But, yeah, just give time a chance and the right guy will come along. And never settle for less because you're worth a whole lot!! Try to be comfortable around the right guys, just relax and enjoy life and someone is going to like you for you. I wish you the best:)
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I'm at a new school where i dont know many people... i made this one friend, lets just call her anna. So anna and i have been hanging out on the weekends and stuff for the past 3 weeks and im starting to realize that she is really conceited. I don't want to have a friend like this, but i don't really have any other options because i don't want to be friendless. I don't know if you can help very much, just give me your thoughts on this, or maybe if you can relate we can talk about your experience. thanks. (link)
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Yeah, being too vein is not a good quality. Maybe there are other things about her that you like that you could concentrate on until you guys grow apart when you start finding some other friends. You will soon, I guarantee it, just give it time. Start talking to some other people, meet other people maybe the same way you met "Anna". I'm not sure if you're a social butterfly or not, but also try joining something like sports or art club or whatever you're into, then you could meet people with the same interests as you.
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ok..you see i have this boyfriend but i never rly see him an i just got on punishment for like a month which will hurt me bein able to see him..then i have this friend who i like and he likes me and hes always askin when are we gunna hook up and things like that an he lives down the street from me and i see him almost everyday and so do i lose my boyfriend for my friend..ive been with my boyfriend for 5months and we fight all the time over the DUMBEST things! (link)
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Okay, maybe you could give yourself rest on putting so much tiresome effort into the relationship you have with your b'friend of 5 mo. and give a little bit of yourself to that friend that seems interested in you. Don't forget to think of yourself and decide who seems to treat you better, too. Try it for a little while and see where you feel most content and less stressed and happiest. Don't make any hasty overnight decisions, try my advice and then go from there. I wish you the best of happiness and that you find the right way!!
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i get depressed like really easly.. like today at school i was really hyper and happy and all that but now im really up set and want to cry over nothing. i just randomly melt down.. is there anyway to stop this or is there a reason im like this? (link)
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Those are just normal teen emotions I'm sure. They are there for the whole time you're a teenager, those real sudden mood swings. So many changes all the time and stuff. Being a teenager is crazy. I used to go through those emotions too, really high highs and really low lows. The important thing is how you deal with it. If you do not deal with it well, and it is serious then talking to someone would be good. I hope the ocean waves calm and you can breathe easy again. Do yoga, meditate, find your chi.
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ok well i have a bf, and i like him alot. we have been going out for about 1/2 a year so far. but one of my good friends is good friends with him, and sometimes we'll all hang out, us 3, and she kind of..shuts me out. i doubt she means to. but she'll touch his sweatshirt and try to like pick the lettering off it cuz it "bugs her" or she'll walk in front of me and kind of cut me off and go with him. i feel kind of left out and like he maybe like her when that happens. i dont think he likes her...but still. she'll play around with him to like punch him lightly and theyll have little "fights". idk im prob overreacting but i was wondering if u cud help. id rather not talk to her about it unless i have to. (link)
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Yeah, I'm sure you don't need to worry about your b'friend, but you do gotta worry about your friend, not because she'll steal him away or anything, but because she kinda needs to get her own life and stop pretending she is you. It sounds like just maybe she is envious of what you have and she wants that too, not necessarily with your guy, but with someone. Ask your b'friend when your friend is not around if he has any nice, single friends that might want to hang out, the four of you. Try something like that. In the meantime (because that could take a few weeks of working on it) you could just keep an eye on and make sure your b'friend isn't provoking this AT ALL and doesn't enjoy it too much, make sure he is just being nice to your friend for you. Or if you're all set and totally trust him, then cool, just try to work on overpowering your friend when she is trying to overpower you. She may just enjoy being around your guy but as a friend. Some "friends" just really click better than others. So let her be herself around him sometimes, but other times, when enough is enough, you need to get your spot right back, don't let it be stolen when it's not cool. Hope I helped :)
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sometimes, my armpits sweat for no apparent reason. I dont even have to run around..and they start to sweat...it leaves these horrible sweat marks underneath my armpits and i dont even want to raise my aroms up...does any one have any ideas on how to stop this??? Oh yeah, and they even sweat when it is cold out!!! (link)
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I just want to say that I know exactly what you mean, I hate that problem, it's horrible, uncomfortable, gross, and embarassing. I've had to change my shirt like 5 times a day before. All my shirts have armpit stains and yeah it's gross and wet. yuck. I hate it. I tried every deoderant on the shelf, nothing worked. It's like hyperhidrosis. So I just started using Certain Dri like a few days ago and it works for me, but the directions say to only put it on for bedtime. That wasn't good enough for me. I put it on for bedtime then I wait a few hours after my shower the next morning cuz you don't want to put it to newly shaved skin, then maybe reapply once more if you really have to later in the day, but yeah it definately decreases the sweating. Try it out. If that doesn't work then you'll need a prescription one.
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Ok... I am 14/f and I weigh 100 lbs. My friends think I am anarexic and last year my teacher turned me in for anarexia. I eat, alot, do you think I should she a doctor about my weight. (link)
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No, you're not bad. That's about what I weighed at 14, and if your diet is normal and your eating 3 meals a day and you feel good, then you're normal. You're just that size and that's all there is to it.
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okay i am sooo in love with this boy and he knows it... but i am fat and ugly.. i really love him help me..
*erica 14 CA* (link)
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If you feel confident and comfortable in your skin, he'll see that and if he thinks he's too good for you then he's an ass, but if he likes you for you then there you go. Or maybe you can even help yourself change if you don't feel good about yourself. Give yourself some goals with exercising and eating habits and shoot for the stars.
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Hey.. This is pretty general. What are some basic signs that a guy likes you? (link)
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Sometimes they'll actually act like they DON'T like you by teasing or things like that. Another clue is if you can tell they really seem to enjoy being around you and are every chance he gets. See if you can catch him staring at you, or gazing at your glowing presence.
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ok i put this up before but i just wanna know something eles ok well like i probably have add and i didnt tell my mom about it and im talking to a school counsler but i dont know if i should tell my mom should i?
help please
thnx (link)
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Yeah, why wouldn't you? It's okay, just do what you need to do to fix your problem, including telling your mom.
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