askTheTeenGirl
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Q: There is this white wiger at my school and friday the dance he kept bumping in to me and when he did he would say what punk u want to fight. i want fight him but there is cameras and teachers so i dont know where i should fight him???
Don't find somewhere to fight him. Tell him to grow up and walk away. Why get into a fight over that? Its silly.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: My mom and dad always tell me I need to exercise or lose weight. I mean I know they dont mean it in a hurtful way but it hurts. I've been working on my weight more these past year. I joined a gym last spring but quit over the summer and plan on joining again after school gets normal again (probably beginning of october) I have been trying to eat less but I do have a hard time controlling my urges. But it's not like I'm trying! And it's not like I'm totally overweight. I am on the bigger size, I wear a size 9 pants but I can fit into a size 5. I wear a large shirt but I could fit a medium. I only wear the bigger sizes because my mom constantly calls me fat in the smallers stuff. I only weigh 130 and I'm 5'4.

But anyway, so my mom or dad say almost once a week that I need to stop exercising. Its embaressing because they know I've been trying but because I had to quit because they wouldnt drive me to the gym during summer (its near the school so me and my friend just walk) and I want to get into the swing of school before I join again, and it really hurts my feelings. They'll say it in front of my sisters and the whole family, and then I just sit there and feel weird. I mean really, what do they think I'm going to say?? I can't help my size, I take after my aunt, but I really am truly trying! I don't know what to do, it's really hurtful and makes me feel dumb in front of everyone (everyone else is skinny, like 110 and 115 except my mom is like 135 and my dad is a skinny stick too!). How can I get them to stop throwing these comments in when instead of helping my weight issue it just makes me upset?
Tell your parents that calling you fat and telling you all of the time that you need to lose weight is not going to help. You need their support! Not there negativity toward you. Tell them that you can't lose weight on your own. Explain to them that you need some help, and loving support. Also explain how much it hurts to hear harsh things like that from your own parents. It has to be horrible to go through that everyday, please tell your parents about this, you're being hurt and they need to help you, not put you down.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok what should i do if someones mad at me for a gayass reason and you really dont wanna be mad at that person but ...... you feal like you wanna rip their heads off. the problem was that these 2 girls thought i copied there hairstyle, and other stuff. but i really didnt, i didnt even see them when i styled my hair like that. its a really common hairstyle so thats a stupid reason to be mad.
What can i do for revenge, or say to them, etc.
You shouldn't talk to them at all. They are selfish and stuck up girls. The part that makes them selfish is saying that you copied a hairstyle, so it must be you want to be just like them, which is false. Also, they are stuck up because they think that its only their hairstyle to wear, nobody else can wear their hair like them. People need to start taking these things as compliments, if someone wears or buys the same shirt as you, they obviously like your style, but everyone takes it as, "oh well shes trying to take my spotlight, I'm so mad at her now" I believe that you didn't see he hairstyle, but even if you did, who cares? The best revenge would be to wear the hairstyle everyday and ignore them. Don't say anything to them, they are rude. Show them you aren't going to tolerate their disrespect.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: My boyfriend, Justin, and I, went to a rodeo tonight. This one girl, Destanie, was there. She likes him. Alot. And she doesn't like me at all (for what reason I don't know.) Anyways, she came up and was all over Justin and he was backing off and stuff and she pulled him aside and started telling him how I was cheating on my and walking down the hall with some guy holding his hand and stuff. Which is total BS! I would never cheat on him, I love him so much. Anyhow though, he came up and asked me about it. I blew up (for one reason or the other, I was just pissed because I'm sick of her telling him this stuff, and she's told him other lies like that recently.) He was really pissed off for me blowing up at him, which I can see because it might have came off like something WAS up. But I was just getting tired of all of it. Anyways, we made up I guess, but how can I let him know that I really would never cheat on him? I don't want him getting tired of Destanie saying stuff and break up with me, because I love him more than anything. I can't confront Destanie because she'd kick my butt. I rate high! Thanks so much.
I'm glad that you both have made up, but you there are still unfinished conversations such as this other girl and how you feel about it. He needs to know that. You don't need to explain to him how you'd never cheat on him, explain that its like Destanie to lie to him like that. I think he knows whats going on, and you need to talk about it more, the problem isn't that he thinks hes being cheated on, the problem is her putting ideas into his head and having him believe it. No wonder you blew up, any normal, jealous girl would be driven up the wall by that inccident. You need to explain how you are when you see him with Destanie, tell him what you're thinking, tell him you really get angry, and that explains your blowing up for even coming up to you and asking if what she said was true. And that girl doesn't like you because Justin is yours, and not hers. She has a jealousy issue too, except shes handling it the worst way possible. Throwing herself at someone. Explain to your boyfriend what happens when you see her, and find a way together to fix it.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend whom I was with for about 5 years. I found out that he was with anther woman while he was still with me and we broke up i thought I would get over it and try to move on. By the way he still lives with me. Anyway i relaized that I had did alot of things to him that i should have done to him and now that i have realized this I have been begging him to forgive me and telling him to take me back and that things wil change that things will be different. And he says that alll he needs is time to think things through and find out what he really wants, but i get full of rage when I think about him being with someone else and him leaveing me, especially because I love him with al my heart. In thses past day I have cut myself on my arms and on my wrists, because I think about what he is doing if he's with her and it drives me crazy with rage and ange and I cut myself to relieve some of that rage. I feel that in parts i do it to get his attention and other times I feel that I do it to relieve my pain and fraustraion. I need help I don't wnat to hurt myself anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sad and desprate
You need to move out, or make him move out somehow, whatever way it has to be, get away from him. Living with him is torturing you to death. Whether you realize it or not, its time to get away from him so that you can actually heal from this, you won't be able to move on still living with him. I know that hearing the words, "get away from him" makes you want to scream and cry running the other direction, but you have to. I'm telling you, you're being tortured living like this, you know that it is the solution to this big tangle. Stop begging for him, kick him out, or leave and take care of whats going on with you. Move out, live with a friend if you have to, and start your life from there, or get him out, if you need anymore help, inbox please.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: There's this guy I really like (we're both 13, just so you know) and I want to be noticed. I know you should be yourself, and I do be myself, but I was wondering if there's anything that guys like it when girls do? Is there anything that I shouldn't do? Thanks
A good way to be yourself and be noticed by a guy is to talk to him how you'd normally talk to anyone. (Don't try to impress by using immature language) Always try to talk and ask for help if hes a guy who does his work in class. What you shouldn't do is try hard to win the guy. Don't go to an extreme of hurting someones feelings to make him laugh, get into fights so that you can brag to him about it, and don't do drugs with him, or do anything really stupid because he does it, hes not a good guy if hes doing bad things anyway.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: well im a 16/f (almost 17) and i've gotten out of a relationship about a month ago, and i think i am ready to move on. i know what i want, and im bound to see that i get it sometime or another. i want someone to treat me with respect, not hit me like my old bfs did, and not tell me im stupid... and i dont want the relationship based on sex. well, my besf/fs boyfriend is trying to get me hooked up with his one friend... and he sounds cool, hes 17, has his lisences... ( but no car yet ) and they say hes not the type of just jumping into a relationship, hed rather get to know you, and then see where things are.
now, im just afraid that hes not going to like me, cus of my past expirences...and i've been havin this trusting issue due to my past relationships, yet im getting so much better at it. im just afraid he wont like me... and yes i know, if he doesnt like me for me, then hes not worth it... but i really want this to work out, cus hes super hot, and he seems pretty nice. he seems like everything i want.
so what do i do/not do when i am hangin out with him??? should i not mention my past ( abuse, rape... etc?) or should i let him know before he makes any... "commitment".
You could give him a try, it might be someone you can really like, but maybe instead of planning to have him as your boyfriend, try to hang out more as friends so that it won't be planned and mapped out, because he may not be interested and just stop seeing you, or reject you without warning. When it comes to your past, you probably should keep it as the past until hes curious. This is a new guy, so start fresh with relationship problems, the past stays in the past for now. You seem to have a rough past, which means if I were you, I'd be really really careful about upcoming relationships in your life. If there are signs of what has happened in the past, or any bad signs, you need to not ignore those signs because one day, it could mean your life.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok,Theres this guy I like and his name is John. Ok one of my not so close friends went and told him that I liked him right in front of me!!! I was soo hurt and imbarassed. But I did find out that John has a Girlfriend. I don't even look at him anymore! She did this to me like 3 times!! I can't make her stop! Everytime she sees him she goes " HEY John! This girl right here wants to go out with you!" And Im like Oh shit! What can I do. I didn't mean for thingz to happen like this and I can't even look at him without knowin he knows i like him.

Please Help! I will rate all 5's for really good answers!
Tell your friend in private that shes hurting you when she does things like that, and that you want to be able to confide in her when it comes to secrets like these. Shes suppose to be your friend and she shouldn't embarrass you in that way. Even though she isn't a close friend, just say, "I don't and won't ever do things like that to you like you're doing to me, so please stop bugging John and teasing me."


-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok...

i still really love my ex ron. and he cares for me too. but yesterday my friend asked me out and i said yes because hes not good with rejection. i dont like him. hes just a really good friend.

and i dont know how to tell ron because he wants me back but he cant have me because im with someone else...

i wanted to say no but i couldnt. the pain in his eyes would kill me. but ron says he wants me back in his life badly... bu he has one thing holding him back... the fact that we go to different schools. hes a 9th grader and im an 8th grader. i'll be going to the same high school he is going to....

i love him (ron) but i have no feelins for the other guy. so what should i do about ron? forget about him and try to be happy?
The best thing you can do is tell him the truth. Even if it really hurts him, he'd rather know now than waiting until he gets more attached and happy with this and than getting bad news later. And you can't forget about him because you feel guilty just lewaving things with him happy not knowing your true feelings. You better just call him and tell him that you made a mistake and didn't want to hurt you.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: I liked this boy alot.. and alot of people said we were "together" cause i was always with him and he always held me and kissed me and he called me his baby and everything.. but he also had this lil thing with his ex gf but i kinda just ignored it.. cause he always asured me nothing of it.. well the other day he got mad at me.. and he told me he just wants to be friends for now cause he doesnt like anyone and doesnt want a girl.. Well I`m tryen my best to stay happy cause i mean we are still friends right? but i havent talked to him in like for ever and havent seen him! and if im his friend i still wana see him! and i guess he is with his ex right now.. so i uno they a prob fucking or something! and i Just need advice on how to maybe move on or feel happy or someone to talk to or something! cause im about ready to just give up and spend my whole life crying!
It sounds like you got your mind played with. He definetly knew that something was going on between you, and it was way more than just a friendship. Next time, you shouldn't ignore a close or unfinished ex-girlfriend. Especially if you knew there was something with them too. Hes a jerk, thats the bottom line. My best advice to you would be to not ever talk to him, not even be his friend, we both know that he doesn't deserve your friendship and never will for what hes done. I know that you really want to be his friend and be in his life, but you know that things would wind up the exact same way.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: i like a good guy friend of mine and i told him how i felt. he told me hes not ready for a gf and its not rejection but hes just not ready. so a week passed and things were good..actually things were better than they were before..more flirting and stuff...and i brought up this girl who hes kinda attracted to and asked why he isnt ready for a gf if hes attracted to her and he didnt want to get on the subject.

what are some reasons why a guy wouldnt be ready for a gf? i didnt want to pressure him but im curious so maybe you guys can help me out. we are both 16
Well, I believe that any guy who says that hes not ready for a girlfriend is just a guy looking for an excuse. Now, I don't know if your friend is like that, but it sounds a little like it because he admitted being attracted to another girl. Guys hardly ever think about whether they are reay for girlfriends or not, its just, a little obvious. But, if so, I wouldn't really know why he wouldn't be ready for one. But, its probably an old excuse.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: I'm 17 and I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months! I adore him so much! I took his virginity which I promised myself I would never do! Sometimes I think about breaking up with him because of stupid reasons but than I think about all the good things about him! I love his company and the way he treats me but I just don't know how I really feel about him! lately all he wants to do is sexual things and I've talked to him about it and he said he would calm it down, but I have yet to find out if he will! I really don't know what I should do! I also have another twist in this! I am talking to another guy! Like he is fun to talk too but he is totally crazy and I would never think about breaking up with my boyfriend for him! I just like to talk to him. Ever since I started talking to this kid my boyfriend has been asking me all these questions about him and like if he should fix what he is doing in the relationship! It so overbearing and I don't know what I should do! Please help me! I'm so lost! p.s I don't want to break up with him!
If you know that you'd never break up with him, then you shouldn't be worried about the other guy you're talking to. As for your boyfriend's sexual act, if he continues it, just remind him that he said he would calm it down so that he'll get the hint and stop. Its normal to feel new exciting feelings for another guy, every girl will feel that sometimes no matter how deeply in love they are. But, we can control what action we take with those feelings, and you just have to remember your boyfriend when you get those exciting feelings for this other guy. But, you need to be careful about talking to him, because your boyfriend sounds like he could be a little jealous, and thats a really bad feeling to have. So, be careful for your boyfriend's feelings on this other guy. You should start telling him that you want more romantic things done in your relationship, like the movies, or just laying together watching TV, the little things.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: basically, ive liked/ been in love with this guy for a little over a year now and my father s him because the guy has somewhat of a juvinile record. and me and my dad dont get along anyways. even though me and my dad have our disagreements i still would like approval but i havent even told my dad im going out with the guy yet, weve only been going out for a month but have liked eachother forever. my parents know that ive liked him but they think its only out of rebellion. i plan on spending the rest of my life with this guy and i turn 18 in about 4 months. should i wait til then to tell them even though i know their feelings wont change. i dont even know what im asking.. just for advice i guess. i love him with all of my heart and would do anything for him. and hes what makes me happy i just wish my parentals could understand!!!!! how should i go about telling them???
As much as you'd like to be with this guy, it sounds like you need to listen to him better. A "somewhat of a" juvinile record does not sound very good at all, I can't blame your parents for disapproving, and they aren't disapproving to hurt you, they are afraid of you getting hurt. And, your last few words are only telling me that you love each other and you're full of happiness, and that should be good enough of a reason to be together. Let me tell you, it doesn't work that way. Right now may seem so perfect, but later on, love won't save you. You need to listen to your parents, I can't make you listen to them and try to get more of their opnion, but you should.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ever since my friends birthday party she has been acting different aarounf me and not doing anything with me.. she like is being retarted!! idk what to do!! or say to her but i dont want to be her friend cuz its been going on for awhile!!
The only way you'll found out whats going on with your friend is to ask her whats happening. Whether you ask on the phone, E-mail, or to her face, ask her. Don't go to the extremes of not being her friend anymore until you get some sort of explaination or an answer. You've got to ask, just say, "Hey, I noticed that we havn't really done much together, whats going on?" And maybe she'll be feeling the same.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey well theres this boy Ryan, hes kind of popular and stuff and im not really popular but im friends with some of the people so im kidna of "cool" stupid but whatever.. so some of the popular jocks just are dicks and dont like me, im sure everyone knows what i mean. well Ryans in my spanish class so i left him a comment on his picture on myspace, and he IMed me on aim and said hey thanks for the comment and i said yup no problem. later on he IMed me and didnt say anything he just said I LOVE YOU and i was like who doesntt ( thinkin it was his assholefriend) and he was like yep haha and i was liek this isnt ryan! and he said yeah it is then put an away message on a couple minutes later. he smiled at me during class the next day and i talked to him online that night and we talked then he ahd to go and said bye see you tmra and then he sed "luv yah" so i was like what the hell?.. i talked to him today and i said maybe we can hangout sometime and he saidd


ryans sn: yeah sure i dont care
ryans sn: just calll me
ryans sn: *** *** **** ( his number)

and i said i dont wanna make you if you dont wanna ! and i gave him my number and he was like ok cool are you goin to the football game tomorrow?
then i had to go and i said byee ttyl and he said bye luv ya.. so what do u think? what should i do because i can be shy expecially when i might think they might be mean or a dick cuz theyre like popular.. if hes at the game tmra what should i do? help pleasee thanks
I know what you mean when you hesistate to make a move or hang out with a popular guy, because he might just use you and reject you. But, about this guy, don't really make a move, if he wants to hang out, then you should hang out with him and find out more about him. Kind of develop a friendship, or a closeness so that you can decide if he sounds decent for you. But, it does sound like he really likes you. Being shy is normal, it happens, but just try to hang out and talk to him more, and you'll get a feel if hes better than you thought.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok well i'm really happy at school (unless i get yelled at or a bad grade..well duh who doesnt?) anyways i'm really happy at school and on the buss cause my bus is soo much fun even when i come home untill bout 6 i start to feel sad my mom comes home and my brother goes to work and my dad's on a bussiness trip so it's usually just me and my mom. Also sometimes if it's just me and a friend and were watching t.v i feel really sad and wanna cry so usually i'm really happy from 6 am- 6 p.m then usually past then unless i'm with my whole family or friends i'm really sad and sorta start to cry. So is this normal whats wrong with me and i'm not pmsing either.
Maybe you're upset because you want your family around and miss them. The best thing that you could do is explain your sad feelings to your mom, and try making a plan with her. She at least needs to know that there is something wrong at home, and you really don't like it. If things can't change, then start to go outside with your friend, meet some other friends you have, go on a walk. Sitting around a lot can make you depressed, too. Just go out and do something, go to the mall, the movies, do some fun things together instead of just watching TV.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok i forget some part of my homework like EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it sucks so much! how can i remember all of my homework? i get punished all the time for it and it sucks because i loose half credit like every day in some subjects but im such a good student. please help!
At home, make a small plan for school to do better. You need to make lists, or buy a planner and write your homework or any important information down right as you hear it, don't think, "I'll write it later" You'll feel better if you do it in that class. If you're having a problem with forgetting supplies you need, buy a locker marker board so that you can write down the supplies you need to each class, and instead of sitting there thinking about what you need, check your board and it will be easier. Mainly, you need to write it down on a notebook paper for each class, and you can just take it out and look at what needs to be done. A good way to raise your grade, is to take every opportunity when theres extra credit.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Can anyone recommend any good books? Preferably mystery, romance, teen, or psychological books that are fairly easy to read? If so, can you give a brief description of what it's about. Thank you.
I am reading a book called

The Lovely Bones



Its about a girl who was only 14 when she was killed and she watches over her family. And she watches her killer, and the guy she was dating at the time, and thats basically it. It gets suspenseful, and it keeps you wanting to read.

The best thing about it, is that its like no other, it desribes her in heaven, and its out of the ordinary.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: There's this one guy that I like. The problem is that he has a girlfriend. One of my friends told him today that she thought me and him would make a cute couple. He said 'sweet.' Then she asked him if he would ever go out with me and he said 'probably.' And so asks if he likes me and he said 'not really but as a friend I do.' Then 'But it's kinda hard to like someone else when you have a g/f.' And to me it seems like he doesn't even like his current g/f, even though they've only been dating like 4? days. And it's a long distance relationship. I even give him a hug when I seem him at school. And he hugs me back. And I'm right there and his g/fs not. So I was just wondering what you guys thought about this? And if you think he likes me?

ps. 13/f
He probably does like you, but you need to think about what you'd do if you were in his girlfriend's shoes. What if you had a girl flirting and liking your boyfriend? And worst of all, what if you didn't know about it? You have to consider other's feelings, if he likes you, he'll break up with her and go for you, but don't push it.



-TheTeenGirl

Q: theres this kid i like and he came over my house and me n him kissed like 6 times and then the next day he kissed this other girl n i dont no if i like him anymore but i invited him to the movies with a bunch of my other friends and some how the other girl he kissed found out about the movies and shes goin n shes like im gonna make out with him right in front of her(meanin me) face and i dont no what to say to him
Well, the title of your question is correct, the guy is a cheater, so I'm not understanding why you are still being with him, and still going to the movies with him. Especially when you know the other girl is going too, and plans on making out with him to hurt your feelings. They will both hurt your feelings. You don't really need to say anything to him except, "goodbye." You don't deserve to be another girl he can kiss. That is all you both are to him, just objects that he can play with. So, you need to show him that you aren't going to be that other object to him by not talking to or kissing him anymore.


-TheTeenGirl

bio
TheTeenGirl
My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.



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December 8, 2007

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