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FemaleLocation:
MidWestOccupation:
Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
My boyfriend and I are making wedding plans and we're debating whether to invite any of my relatives. You see, my entire family, with the (possible) exception of my father, loathes my boyfriend and makes no secret of it. Throughout my four-year relationship with him various relatives of mine have talked about him behind his back, illegally looked up confidential information about him and spread it around, made up outright lies about him in an effort to alienate me from him (my favorite slander was that he was riddled with VD and lying to me about it), and basically tried to ruin his career and his life. My mother admitted to me that she "hated" him -- I invited him to a family Christmas party a few years ago and he was told to "get lost" and was all but thrown out of the house.
Naturally, I don't really care to have these people witness our marriage. Certainly my boyfriend doesn't want it. He ought to be nominated for sainthood for being civil to them all this time, even when they were insulting him to his face. But he doesn't like their actions any more than I do.
The thing is, though, my family hates my boyfriend and not me. They adore me -- they just express their love in a very destructive way. I know if I refused to invite the lot to the wedding, they would be deeply hurt by the slight and would probably never forgive me. One solution is to elope, thereby inviting no one. But my boyfriend's family has been wonderfully supportive and we want them to witness our nuptials.
Part of me thinks: who cares if I hurt my family, they've hurt me horribly by their cruel behavior over the last four years. But I am not without heart and, as I said, they do love me. Just in the wrong way.
Do I invite them and hope they are nice when they show up, or do I not invite any of them, thereby assuring their hurt and consequent complaints for decades?
If this were me, I'd elope too. Don't give them an opportunity to cause you more pain. Have a private reception at another time and invite only those who can be respectful of your decision. I realize that your family probably does love you so in that case they will have to accept your decision in order to continue ties with you.
My boyfriend (PJ) and I have been together since 6th grade. And know its freshmen year. Hes 15 and Im 14 1/2. We both love eachother alot. We have made-out&kissed&and all that other good stuff, but he wants to take it a little bit farther. well so do i but i dont want to take it so far that i'll be know as "Arrowhead #1 Slut"! and alot of my best friends have taken it pretty far. i just dont know what to do! please help!
Hold your ground, if you don't want to take your relationship to the next level (sex) don't. If you feel the slightest pressure to please him and go against your wishes the actual act of sex will not be that great. In fact you will probably resent him and your relationship could fall apart. If he doesn't understand and continues to attempt to take it one step further, he's not being very considerate of your feelings and might not be the right guy for you anyway.
the subject pretty much summed it up.. there is this guy i like but he likes my best friend and i dont no what to do.. because they dont talk very much and him and i talk all the time and we have the best convos.. so i dont see why he doesnt like me.. also he nos i like him.. what should i do?
You want advice so: Here's my opinion. You can't make someone fall in love with you. Just because you have great conversations with this guy might just mean that you have better conversation skills than his g/f does..and that's it...no more.
In your lifetime you will find a lot of people that you can talk to, but you won't automatically fall in love with them. Someday one will like you for who you are no matter what, but for now apparently this guy is not that one.
me&my boyfriend broke up like 3 months ago, and i really liked him a lot and it took me forever to get over him. i finally moved on and now i like this kid and we are good friends. i dunno if i should tell him that i like him caz last time i did the guy was just like ok and he didn't care. i kinda think the guy i like likes me back but if he doesnt i dont wanna lose ouur friendship. i think he knows that i kinda like him he tells me on the phone that he knows who i like but he just laughs and doesnt tell me. we are "married" but thats as farr as its gotten. oh yah and we are both 13
thanks
Most 13 year old boys don't much about love. I don't know what you mean when you say you are "married". At this point in your life it's much more important to be good friends. So just accept him as a friend and have fun. Don't risk getting your heart broken and losing a friend at the same time.
I love this guy but I don't think he likes me because of the music I listen to now (( emo, rock, etc. )) He is my exboyfriend but when I dated him last year, I was really preppy and loved rap...what should I do?
Well let's see. You broke up when you liked rap and he doesn't like you now because you like rock. I also doubt it's the music. Think of it this way. An ex is an ex for a reason. What you should do is find someone else who likes your style of music.
I've never had a real girlfriend before..I'm gunna ask someone out tomorrow and I know she'll say yes cuz I just do. I'm just afraid that I'll be nervous while we're going out..well not nervous just like "we're going out..now what" you know. Or I might try to act like different..idk What do I do?
Say "Please excuse me for being nervous" "I may not always say the right things, but I am trying really hard"
Most girls would appreciate the honesty.
My mother is having an affair, thing is. If she gets caught by my step-father, he will kick both her and me out. I have two years of school left, and I need to get good grades to get into further study because i dont have much $$. How do i convince her that she's gambling with my entire future?
You can tell your Mother that you don't approve of her affair and you are scared that your stepdad will find out. However, most likely you will not be able to control what either of them does. Think of it this way, good grades aren't necessarily dependent of what school you are in, that part is all up to you not them. If your Mom suddenly becomes a single parent you may qualify for financial help. Where there is a will there is a way!
Ok I just had surgery wednesday the 22nd of march, well my grandmother came to my town to "take care of me." When I got out of the hosiptal my husband was upset because my grandmother had been telling him what he needed to do with my little girl, basically telling him how he needed to raise her. Well in order to keep peace with my family he let me know how he felt about her getting into our business and telling him how to raise our daughter. Do you think that you could give me advice on how to let her know NICELY to back off and that he can raise her the way he wants too?
Your grandma may not feel appreciated enough, and think she has to do much more...like passing on parenting advice. It will help that your husband shows his gratitude. (she wants to be more than just a house guest)
Even though it may be annoying, most grandmas are not going to change. So it will help to change your response. Just kindly nod and acknowledge her advice, but then turn around and do things your own way. In addition, you can help by praising the great job your husband does in front of both her and him. Good luck and I wish you a speedy recovery.
Is there something that I can do for fun thats productive at the sametime? My mom leaves for work at 3, so I am home alone with my little sister. I need some ideas to not be bored and o/d ing in the computer!! Help! 5's for good advice!
Thanks
You could start scrapbooking, many of the designs can be made on your computer therefore not costing as much.
http://www.creativescrapbooking.com/
I bit my lowerlip a lot out of habit. It used to only be when I was nervous, but it seems that I've gotten so used to it, that I don't even notice anymore! It's not that I bite it hard or anything, but it makes me look nervous all the time. Does anyone have an good solutions to this? Thanks!
Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you bite your lip. As soon as you are aware of how often you do it, you will gradually start doing it less often and then eventually not at all.
how to help teen daughter not to raise her voice to unacceptable levels when we talk.
Try this: In a very matter of fact way, maintain good eye contact and lower your own voice and say
"I can see you are upset, but there's no need to yell"
I learned this technique working with troubled and sometimes violent teens. I have used it on my kids and it seems to work quite well, especially if I acknowledge my awareness that they are upset.
okay i've had the flu since sunday and every night i have a problem sleeping! i take 2 nyquils every night about 30 minutes before i go to bed.. then like around 4 in the morning i wake up coughing and extremely thirsty.. it just seems kind of weird because the docter i went to said that it was just a flu and to take 2 nyquils every night and a whole bunch of other stuff in the daytime, but its not working!
so anyone have any suggestions on what i can take to help me sleep better at night?
The flu can really throw some people for a loop! You have my sympathy! There are different types of Nyquil which contain different medications. You may not have the best one for you because apparently it is not lasting through the night. The best thing would be to call the Dr and let him/her know. It's important to get the right kind of sleep, and you shouldn't have to wake up to take more medicine since many are supposed to last 12 hours.
The thirst can be a side effect of the medication, dehydration or that you are sleeping with your mouth open because of congestion. Drink plenty of liquids like juice and water during the day. If you don't have a fever take a steamy shower before bed to help loosen the congestion. Use a humidifier in your room at night. Provided you have no skin sensitivities use vicks vaporub as directed. Try sleeping with your head proped up on several pillows to ease the congestion and help your breathing. If you find that your symptoms are getting worse or do not resolve within a week let your Dr know that too.
I just want to know if you gain weight on the patch like you do on the depo shot and the pill
If a person believes that they gained weight while taking the shot or the pill most likely they will on the patch too. Considering the same hormones are used in any of the methods you described above--the results will be similar.
Here's an explination.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/birth-control-pill/WO00098
one of my labia's is about 5 times the size of the other. not only does it cause me emotional discomfort, but it hurts after sex or after my boyfriend fingers me... and sometimes even during. is this normal, and what should i do?
You should never accept pain as normal. Heat will most likely increase the sensitivity, so use an ice pack instead. Your best option would be to see a gynecologist.
This girl in my social studies class always smells really musky and I want to know how I can tell her without hurting her feelings?
is it musky like musk perfume, or does she have B.O.? Everyone has a natural body odor and some may find it unattractive, but there is not much one can do about it. If you tell her it will most likely hurt her feelings. Sometimes body spray mixes with the odor and smells worse. If you think its a hygiene problem print an article such as the one on the web site I listed below and ask the school nurse to hand it out to the class. That way this poor girl who can't smell herself won't feel targeted but should get the right idea.
Hope this helps.
http://www.teenwire.com/infocus/2001/if-20010510p103.php
ok so im f/17 ive never had sex before but ive become ill.weak,cough,flem ect and im scared because my friend keeps talking about aids and im scared.Ive been to the hospital as i felt ill can they tell if i have it from checking me over?or from an x-ray?also my vagina feels weird i can't explain.The doctor asked me if i have discharge my mum was sitting there and i was scared to say yes.I get white stuff is it normal?Im really scared someone help me please and an ocassional liquid.They asked when my last period was i said 2 weeks ago but i think it was last month!!!!!hurry with answers please also im waiting for the blood test results and urine.
Some discharge is normal. However you have itching and burning it is not normal. If you have been on antibiotics you could have a yeast infection which should be diagnosed by a Dr. Don't be afraid, they are used to hearing about such things.
Did you have a test for TB? You might want to discuss this with the Dr too.
1.)heey. im 13, my name is aubrey. well i have horrible period cramps, is there any way to get rid of them?
2.)what are some tips to help me stop bitting my nails?
3.)does anal sex hert, my bf wants to have it with me (16) and idk if it herts or not...
13, not a virgen... please dont call me a slut or tell me anything about his k thx!
♥`AUbREY`* ViNtAGExBARbiE_
1. Regarding the cramps. A hot bath, heating pad, exercise, no caffine and limit carbs, sugar and chocolate.
2. You can buy a paint on substance to make your nails taste bad and therefore remind you not to bite them which will gradually help you break the habit.
3. You may not be a virgin, and I won't call you a "slut" but you are setting yourself up for a life of heartbreak by having sex at such a young age. While many people talk about anal sex, and of course guys would like to try it, but there is no way it is comfortable. If you aren't that concerned about the pain, think of the colon as being loaded with e-coli bacteria and deteriorating waste from the body. YIKES!
does diet soda really stunt your growth? i drink it a lot and people have told me it stunts your growth. is this really true?
I couldn't find any reliable studies on this. You may find information but there would have to be a double blind scientific study conducted to know for sure. Don't just take everyones word for it.
However, remember this quote "all things in moderation" If there is a question, it's best that you don't drink too much of it anyway. Subsitute some of your soda drinking for fruit juice or water.
I'm 18/f. Please don't answer this if you're younger than me... you couldn't possibly have gone through what I am if you're 13... no offense.
I've been in psychoanalysis since I was 10 years old. They THINK I have bipolar disorder, but the psychiatrist told me they can't conclusively know or medicate me until I'm 21-22.
I'm in university right now, and I'm in danger of failing out because of my mental issues... I tried to tell this to the doctor, but she doesn't want to do anything. I'm worried that if I continue at this rate I'm going to fail at university, and at life, and that there won't be a me in 3-4 years to help anymore.
I have suicide hotline numbers, and I have really supportive friends... but everything is so hard, and the doctors are being useless...
Is there anybody here who has been through something similar, and who can offer a few words of advice? I'm dying here, and my exams are coming up.
Thank you for reading this VERY long question.
--Amanda
It's great that you have supportive friends, and I am sorry that a professional has not helped you. I know people that are bipolar and were placed on medication in the late teens. Do you know that a brain scan can now detect bipolar disorder? I saw this on Dr. Phil. It is called
MR spectroscopy. If you have a medical department at your university please seek out information and see if you can find a Dr to order one of these tests. You shouldn't have to suffer because others lack information. It's no wonder that you have trust issues, I would too. However, you can't give up because as long as you are still breathing there is hope.
i hate my dad. he annoys me like deliberatly..he annoys the F*CK outta me and im a vegitarrean and he like sits there talking about animal cruelty and laughing and im really sensative and it makes me cry then when i fight back my mom always takes his side and then he realates meto my brother whose on crack and in jail and it makes me so mad because i get some bad grades and my brother dropped outta highschool to sell drugs and i hate it..and i ran away and for 5 days they didnt notice me..the police did on the street..and i cant take it..i like cry all the time and at school im all bubbley and the only people who knnoww about me are my boyfriend and my best friend..and all i have is music and my bedroom which is constantly violated!! PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I KILL MYSELF!
You really need someone to talk to in person, however you shouldn't trust a stranger online.
Please call one of these numbers for help.
http://www.suicidehotlines.com/