Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30983
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im a 16 yearold boy, and there are alot of girls at my school who were tops that are too short, and it shows off their stomach/hips. For some reason i have some kind of obsession with girls' hips, and when they show them off like that i get turned on as hell. i dont even get turned on by their breasts or ass, but whenever i see like a nice, tanned, waist line, i get so damn horny. Is this considered normal? A fetish>? (link)
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There is an evolutionary reason for your "obsession," so it is perfectly normal. Don't worry about it and enjoy the view.
Btw, girls today do not wear short tops. I lived in the 1970's, when girls regularly wore halter tops, tube tops and hip huggers or shorts (ah, hot pants) or they tied their blouses off just under their breasts. In fact, I find today's kids kinda prudish fashionwise. YMMV.
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Hi I am a junior in high school and I am wondering what studying in college is like. I do well in school now but I want to know what I need to do to do well in college, I am leaning towards an engineering major at the moment. Any first hand experience or study techniques would be helpful, thanks. (link)
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It all depends on how well you want to do and what kind of course load you can take on.
Engineering is an excellent major. There is still a concern as to whether or not U.S. universities are graduating enough engineers. You would do well to go to grad school and get at least an MS and maybe even a Phd. Btw, even if you just get a BS, you can get a teaching credential and lecture on science or math in junior high or high school.
However, that is a very competitive major, too, so your primary orientation is focusing as much of your time and effort as possible on studying and writing papers.
I recommend that if your high school has an advanced composition class you take it. That is because it will help polish your writing so that your college papers will have more of a chance of standing out. A lot of student writing in college is so bad that I had one professor tell me he saved my papers for last because it made him feel better after wading through so many horrendously rendered essays. I was shocked to hear that, but I was stoked to get the props to say the least.
You will need to learn a foreign language. With America going into eclipse, learning Chinese would be a good idea. Unfortunately, even if you minor or double major in it a university will only teach you so much so you will have to do a lot of self study to make your knowledge of that tongue more complete.
I worked fulltime while going to college and while I liked school a lot, the fatigue I experienced on a daily basis from the lack of sleep made it something of a real slog. I had to do that, though, in order to get the grades I wanted. The day I finished my last final for my degree, I thought to myself, "now I can get some sleep."
Colleges have the image of places where there is a lot of partying. However, a great deal of that is done by jocks, communications and business majors, all three of which tend to be the lowest academic performers at any university.
So for a real major, you will have to be dead serious about excelling. If you can't handle that thought, then take a couple years off of school, work, and then when you've grown up, enter college.
My final piece of advice is this: do not go into debt to get an education. Unless you are going to become a doctor, it will NOT be worth it. Go to a cheaper state college if you have to. When you are in any debt you are basically a slave. So avoid debt anytime you can.
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Can anyone recommend some good punk bands? No, not 'punk' like my chemical romance or green day. I mean legit, like what I hear coming from the UK like little flags. Please make it music thats not popular, I want somethin new. Thank you :) (link)
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The Japanese all girl band The News. Scathing political punk with some of the most caustic riffage you are going to hear from any punk band anywhere. Plus they are babes.
There is also an artist I found on You Tube called Mary Magdalan. Hardcore art punk that is compelling, nasty and smart.
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I never my man's mother and I feel like "the other woman"... haha... I just want her to know I love her son with all my heart and I want nothing but good things for him for the rest of his days. I want her to know he has touched my heart in a way that no one else ever could and that I am committed to him.. his life.. his feelings.. his thoughts.. ideas.. dreams.. etc. I know he loves his mom so very much and always has wonderful things to say about her - I've never met her and I one day hope to... but at this time I have to send her a letter and I don't really know how to do this. I just want her to know that I respect the bond and the love he has with her and I respect her as the woman who gave life to my soul mate... I want her to know her son' heart is safe with me - I wish I knew how to do this without sounding like a complete fool... - - If any mom's have advice or people who have beenin similar situations have any advice I'd really appreciate it! Many thanks! (link)
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Make the sentiments you expressed part of your wedding vows. Until then, wait until he introduces you to his mom. Let things happen in their own time. You don't need to force the issue.
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My husband and I did just fine until we said "I do" and then he became a control freak. He has been married 4 times including me and has abused all of them, even me. I didn't know about the abuse until I did some home work and saw the Div. Decrees. He has got the idea of taking sex away he can ontrol. I guess he can. I just want to know what kind of personality disorder this is? (link)
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The kind of personality disorder that should have you reaching for a divorce lawyer.
Women love guys like this because they treat women like crap and women also like to try to fix them. There is a saying that the person who has the least interest in the relationship has all the power in it. This is what is going on here. What he is primarily interested in isn't you but his own narcissism. Being a control freak is a sign of underlying insecurity and a general lack of real self esteem.
I also want to ask you why you got with a guy who is an abuser? Was your dad abusive? Did you have any other kind of abuse in your life (bullying, for example)? Because women often repeat in their intimate lives what they experienced with their father, family associations or social group. This is because people tend to go for what they know even if it is sometimes destructive. You definitely need to do some introspection here.
In any event, the dude is a time bomb. Dump him now.
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Hi all, i just wanted to ask a question about my bf. So we have been dating fer about 3 months. we are both 13 (please don't tell me i'm too young... i'm mature).......Today him and his friend got into a big fight while i was around him and my bf walked off. it was at lunch so he just moved to a different table. So, i just ignored him cuz he was in a bad mood. He put a few notebooks in my locker a few days ago and always leaves them there. at the end of every day he is always waiting at my locker for me. so, after lunch he walked a separate way from me. i got ahead of him and held my arms out to hug him but he just ignored fully!! (the guy he was fighting apologized to him) so at the end of the day i went to my locker and got all my books and stuff and he wasn't there. He came finally and just opened my locker and got his notebooks out. i wrapped my arms around him to give him a hug and all he said was "get the f*** off me"!! i was devastated....he had never talked like that to me.... :*(. i'm scared he is going to dump me or something. so when he said that all i said was, "OK".. so i got on my bus and he walked by it and saw that i was crying and he sad a guilty look on his face. my friend said that he was scared that i was going to dump him, im not going to but after today i just might! p.s. my friend said she would talk to him....... but my friend likes him and he kinda likes her. (i know that he does cuz a few days ago he said if i we ever broke up that he would ask her out) HELP!!!!! (link)
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He may have felt you weren't supportive of him in the wake of the fight and, in fact, hung him out to dry somehow. I also suspect that there is more to this than what you're telling us in order to engender his reaction.
In any event, all you can do is sit down and talk about it.
Btw, one thing you gotta understand about guys is that we don't get socially rewarded for talking about our feelings like girls do. We get rewarded for what we do (especially how much money we make and how many chicks we bang) and so when anything touchy feely comes up guys tend to clam up because they don't want to be seen as weak (men are all about looking dominant, especially when it comes to women). So with all that in mind, talk things over and then decide what to do from there.
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my ex boyfriend cheated on me twice and took probally 8 breaks and broke up with me for good . i still have feelings for him and he said he hasnt moved on either . should i try to get him back or move on to another guy that asked me outt ? if i should get back together with him then howw ? (link)
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Because you feel competitive with other women you hate the thought that you came out the loser in all this. But one of the growing processes of life is learning to deal with failure, so you need to make your peace with this relationship being over at least emotionally and move on to better things. I'm sure he would gladly use you as a kind of glorified friend with benefits, which basically reduces you to a walking vaginal comfort station for his penis.
Moreover, your girlfriends are going to talk behind your back at how stupid you are for continuing to pine away for this player. So preserve your dignity and put him in the rear view mirror.
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I am a 15 1/2 year old girl. I am thinking about going out with this guy, he's 20. We really like each other. If we did end up going out, how far would we be able to go? (link)
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You are basically punching the guy's ticket to prison and lifetime sex offender registration. So you need to reject his overtures for his own sake more than anything else.
Besides, a 20 year old who wants to date a 16 year old has some pretty obvious immaturity issues and you might find yourself getting fed up with that pretty quick.
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I Need Help. My boyfriend calls me all these cute names, and I only call him "Babe" I want to call him more. Any suggestions?
( We're a young couple, like teens, and, I don't want to call him 'Hun' because that just sounds like what an older couple would call each other..) (link)
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Yeah, "hun" sucks. It sounds like something from a patronizing old man. You can call him "sweety" or something with the word "stud" in it and that will more than suffice. If he's Latino you can call him "papi."
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I've been hanging out with this guy for a month and a half now he's 26 so it's not like he's young and immature. We really like each other and yes we have sex. Basically I want to be together and he said that we need to be patient and just get to know each other. I don't really know what is a good time say take it or leave it. I don't like this false hope stuff and the longer we wait the more I'm gonna have feelings for him and get hurt if we don't start dating. I found out that he talks to 2 ex girlfriends he said they are just friends but he said they are unresolved situations. I kind of feel like they might be having an influence on our situation he said no but I mean what do you think of this hole situation? (link)
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Dude is a player.
You like the challenge of trying to get this guy to commit to you. When he resists, the difficulty only fires your ardor even more. After all, often times the best thing a guy can be in order to pull chicks is difficult, enigmatic and even jerky. In the meantime, you reject the legions of nice guys who would treat you like a queen. Typical woman.
Meanwhile, to him, you are only a party favor for his penis. And what makes him holding the power in the relationship even more is that you know you are in competition with other women for him and you don't want to lose.
So, in short, you're being worked. Either leave him and find someone more sincere or stop complaining because you stayed with him even though someone told you what the score of the game is. Learn from this and move on.
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It all started on facebook, about a month ago, I recognised a name that had popped up as "suggested friends." We had graduated High School together, of course I added him. So, he accepted and started talking to me on there and then we started texting. We were flirting back and forth. He told me that I'm beautiful, that he liked me a lot and why he likes me. Then, we accidently ran into each other at a town event. It was random but nice, unexpecting too. Well, the event was Saturday and he usually texts me first but Sunday and Monday I texted him. I know it's just a text in all but today's Tuesday and he hasn't texted me. I know it could be a possibility that he's just busy and wasn't thinking or something. But do you think he no longer likes me? I need advice! Like, should I talk to him? What should I say? Should I just ignore it and move on? Just talk to him like friends?
All appreciated! Oh btw, I'm 19/f and he's 20/m. (link)
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Actually, guys are really simple. Don't project on them that they have the same mental processes that women do (that is, the tendency to overthink everything).
Either his phone has some malfunction and he hasn't resolved the issue or he decided that he really didn't like you as much as he previously thought.
Here is what happens when you connect with someone on the net: one tends to project everything they want as a mate on the other person and almost idealize them. Communication via email and text is a highly edited exercise where one doesn't really show the totality of oneself to the other person. In other words, one basically sculpts the verbal image that they want the other person to think they are.
But when you meet in real life, sometimes things just fall flat. It turns out there isn't that much chemistry at all. It's not your fault and really doesn't say anything about your attractiveness other than this one person's sensibility has judged you to not be what he wants (apparently). It happens. Don't fret over it. Move on. Sometimes rejection can be the best thing that happens to you because it opens new possibilities.
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Hello I am a 16 year old male and I recently applied to a McDonalds near where I live. The application made me really sad at the sort of questions they asked and I just feel like there is a much better way I could be spending my time that mindlessly working at McDonalds. My parents want me to get a summer job but I do not really want to work here. Am I being too picky or snobbish. I get straight As and I don't know it just seems like a waste of my time. Writing this now it seems elitist but it is how I feel. Any advice on this matter would help. Be critical of me too it will only help me. (link)
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Working fast food sucks ass. My first job as a teenager was in fast food and I ultimately made it to assistant manager. I later quit to do something I enjoyed and became a much happier person for it, ultimately working my way through school and getting a degree and then living and working overseas, among other things I've done. It's miserably tedious work with zero to really commend it and you won't use any of what you did in anything that pays real adult wages. So yeah, it's a total waste of time.
The only thing is that as a male, women look on you as an economic object. If you wanna date you gotta have a car, insurance, money to take them places, etc. So if McDonald's is the only thing available to you right now then you're pretty much stuck.
This could actually be a good object lesson. That is, you have to position your life in such a way as to not always be looking down the barrel of a dead end job. The utter tedium and inanity of working fast food could actually provide you with an incentive to kick butt in school so you don't become a loser like at least half of your fast food coworkers will be.
Here's the thing about working during the school year while you are still in high school: don't do it. It will tend to erode your academic performance (studies demonstrate this) and it will just add more stress to a teenage life that is already stressful enough.
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Why are all ugly guys attracted to me? I don't mean to sound like a bitch i swear i'm not I'm actually really nice, actually to the point where just because i talk to the guy he thinks we're "dating" or have a "thing"...like I don't even flirt I'm just friendly. They usually hate me after awhile because they think i led them on. But i swear i'm not trying to its just my personality and i feel awful..what should I do? ps i even straight up TELL THEM that i'm not interested in a relationship...I really don't know what to do.. (link)
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Just tell them that "I'm not really into having a relationship right now. I'm just too busy with other things" The sooner you rebuff these guys the sooner you'll be free of them.
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Iam 22 years old and my brother in law is 36 years old and I went to this party on graduation weekend and everybody got drunk and I was drunk and he tried to kiss me and I told him no and he still kept trying to kiss me. my sister and my brother in law are seprerated but they are still legally married and he has another girlfriend and now my mom and my sister won't let him see my niece and i feel like it's all my fault what should I do? (link)
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Your mom and your sister are doing the right thing and it isn't your fault. He has to take responsibility for his actions. I would keep my distance from him to prevent future incidents. He sounds like a real scumbag.
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there's this guy i met on a penpal site last summer in July; he's from Jamaica and when we started talking; we just clicked; we had so much in common especially since my background is jamaican as well. we talked every single day for hours on the site; we eventually started talking on the phone too almost every night. our relationship became flirty and intimate. we would talk sexual to each other; exchanged pics ; he even calls me his gf and he tells me that he wishes that i was his gf;we write letters to eachother and i started developing feelings for him and he told me he was catching feelings for me too.
The messed up thing is that he has a gf in the States who went to spend time with him in Jamaica last summer. they've been together for over a year now. we've been talking for 10 months now and he tells me he loves me but i've really started to develop real feelings for him; i can't go a day without talking to him. I've tried to end this "thing" a couple of times but we only end up fighting like bf/gf and then things go back to how they were before. I just want to get out of this because everytime i see a personal msg on msn or a status on facebook about his gf; i die a little inside and its not a good feeling. but at the same time; i don't want to lose my friend-we tell eachother everything; personal things; he's even friends with my older sister. should i try to be friends with him or cut him off completely? (link)
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You are being competitive with the girlfriend and don't want to lose, so you keep staying with it even though you got played bigtime.
Listen, for your own psychological health, you need to get out of this relationship. It is doing you no good. Meanwhile, you are losing out on chances to meet guys who would be better for you.
We can't always get what we want, kiddo. And you gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. So taking both of those tattered cliches into account, stand up for yourself and move on.
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why does it burn when i pee? (link)
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'Cuz you got the jack (gonorrhea), dude.
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My girlfriend is obbsessed with these actors that she really loves. I don't know who they are but she cries when she watches them on tv. Is it normal that she's obsessed with them ? (link)
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No.
Chicks like her are usually psychobitches and I am saying this out of experience, not to troll. Also, a fascination with celebrity is often a sign of emotional immaturity and perhaps even narcissism issues.
Dude, you need to hit the eject button on her and let some other sucker deal with her.
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Hi im 14 and im 30 weeks pregnant , due in about 5 weeks. My boyfriend dumped me when i found out so hes out of the picture. But this guy ive been seeing for 2 months now says he is fully commited to my baby and is willing to be a father. Should i trust him? (link)
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The guy acting as the white knight, and you don't say how old he is, has no idea what he is getting into for a couple of reasons:
1. You are only 14. You are emotionally and intellectually immature and this will lead to a lot of problems in your relationship with him. Moreover, over the next ten years, your sensibilities are going to evolve a lot and it very well could be that you will want to hit the eject button on him as a result.
2. Raising a baby is a tough job and often drives couples apart. Anytime you introduce a new element into a piece of chemistry (like that between a man and a woman) it is bound to alter the nature of the relationship.
Also, one has to wonder if there is a codependent thing going on here as the new guy feels a need to rescue you because otherwise he doesn't feel he would be good enough for any woman. This isn't healthy.
My advice to you is to reject the other guy, who sounds rather hinky to me, and work with your mom the best you can in raising your child. And you need to be very concerned, in the meantime, about finishing your education (and I mean college) so that you don't end up permanently in poverty.
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Well my ex bf broke up with me about a month ago. Before we started going out we knew each other and he liked me once b4 (which was about a year ago). We went out this year for 44 days. I fugured out the real reason he dumped me is cause he wanted me to do it with him and I'm not like that at all and he knew that. Well and now I have a bf who i have been rele good friends with since the begining of the school year. Well i went walking on the beach and i went there with my ex and all the memories with him came back to me and i think i might still love him but i dont want to go back to him and having him try raping me but he can b rele sweet and just a great guy and i dont want to ruin the great friendship i have with my bf i have right now. Please help!!! (link)
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You use the word "raping" and yet he can be "really sweet"? What does that say about your attitude toward sex and men? Think about it!
Look, you don't love him. You didn't go out long enough with him to develop real love. Human beings, just like animals, love the familiar. And you are familiar with the guy's attentions even if he got with you because he wants to bang you (and here is a news bulletin, btw, your current man wants to shag you rotten, too, but is too much of a pussy to admit it to your face).
I would also really encourage you to re-examine your sexual attitudes. There is nothing wrong with having sex, even if it is recreational. What you have to do is manage it in a responsible way. It isn't inherently dirty or degrading. Overthinking the sex issue is going to inhibit your enjoyment of it down the road, so you need to simplify your outlook and stop listening to religiously based double standard propaganda about the subject.
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I am a 22-year-old male from the USA. I have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend, "Alex," for 1 year, 8 months. She is my first serious girlfriend and the first girl I've had sex with. Before me, Alex dated another guy for 3 years. I have recently been feeling the need to experiment with other girls. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Alex, but I still feel the need to have sex with other girls. I don't want to end up getting married and have this problem screw up a marriage someday.
I decided to tell her I didn't want to be in a relationship and she agreed because she wanted to give me space. I had sex with 3 different girls while we were apart and began to feel terribly guilty even though we were broken up at the time. I tell her everything and I know that if I tell her about what I've done she most likely won't take me back. We're trying to work things out again, but I still haven't told her about the intercourse with the other girls.
I'm just so confused and would really like to know if I belong in a relationship right now or if I just need time to grow up and figure things out.
Thanks,
Confused (link)
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Why are you telling her about your sexual escapades with other girls? Alex has no right to know any of that. It is the private business of you and the women you banged.
Look, you made the right decision in breaking the relationship up in order to go through the necessary exploratory phase of your life. Alex needs that, too, and she has probably been having sex with other guys since you left her, which is fine.
The sensibilities of both you and Alex are going to change a bit over the ensuing years, so your chances of being able to get back together at some point are pretty thin. You got to learn to move on. You don't owe Alex anything nor does she you. Cut the cord man! Don't overthink this! You sound like a chick!
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