Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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Can I get some tips on how to make my man happy with me and wants only me? I am 25 and I am a female I live in jamaica (link)
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I hate to break this to you but thats just not possible. if your in his heart then you WILL be all he will want and that will never change.
the only thing you can do is try to be his best friend. Alot of happy long term married couples STAY together because they feel like they got to marry their best friend. So act as a best friend would and expect the same in return and if you truely are in his heart then he will remember that and not want anyone else.
Unfortunately hes still a male, and they WILL still glance here or there at other women but thats just how they are and theres no harm in it as long as their not staring while your with them or engaging with them.
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i am from india ,,,muslim,,iam 22years old and he is 20 ,,,,he was good with me but now he is ignoring me,,,and not reply of my text ,,,he did nt show any interest with me,but when he meet me he shows his love by kissing me and hug but while on phone or msg he ignore me,,,,i dont know why he is doing like that,,i want his care and love back again,,,ineed ur kind advice to get his care back ,,,,and how can i realize him that i am only good for him (link)
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Well, either your too good for him and he doesnt deserve you, or your a bit clingy here. You need to decide which.
If your that bothered by the things hes doing then you need to talk to him about it, im sure he cant read your mind and if as a muslim woman your abiding by the laws that govern your religion then i THINK your not supposed to say anything or put up much of a fight about this kind of stuff if im not mistaken. You saying that your muslim can change things a bit in the advice giving area because your not clear on if you are a practicing muslim? and what about him is he?? If so then he might just be thinking that this type of behavior is normal and that your being treated fairly.
If he is constantly texting someone and is around less and less he might be cheating?? its hard to tell because you havent been more specific. This is obviously an issue you need to try to talk to him about and tell him how hes making you feel.
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I'm fourteen, a freshman in high school. Since I was in 6th grade, my mom has had to straighten my hair. I have really thick and wavy hair, and I just can't do it myself. My mom has more experience with straighteining hair, and mine is just SO wavy. Is that weird? I don't see how people can straighten their own hair if you can't even see the back. I don't have any other styles I can do, since it's incredibly wavy. Ponytails look really weird on me too... (link)
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idk how old you are but what if you ask your mom if she would be willing to have it chemically straightened?? this way she wouldnt have to worry about straightening your hair until it grow out ALL the way again! you could avoid all this completely!
you hair will STAY (for the most part anyway) TOTALLY STRAIGHT! ((i went to cosmetology school and i had alot of girls with this issue come to me for it. They couldnt be more happy afterwards, it makes the hair MUCH more manageable over a much longer period of time then just straightening the hair everyday can do.
YES, it is a little damaging but i can almost guarantee you that if your mom is straightening your hair everyday then its probably doing just about the same if not more damaged then a chemical straightening would do.
ask her about it, do some research on it with her too if you can.
good luck ; )
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I am a very successful woman in her 30's. I have happened to fall in love with a younger man, who's never been in a long-term relationship (long story). We do have conflicts, and my biggest problem is that he immediately escalates into defensiveness and being abrasive. I've tried all kinds of approaches, but I think I may have finally found the reason - his and mine understanding of respect and kindness are really far apart.
I've tried to explain to him today that telling me to "drop it" is not acceptable in a conversation (in lieu of "are we all good? let's move on" or "if we're done, let's change the subject). He also doesn't think that telling me to "get over it" after something he's done that hurt my feelings (granted, it wasn't a huge problem, but it did bother me). He's also prone to raising his voice - a lot. Yes, we have talked about this, many times. Things get better for a bit, then go right back to this. And I honestly think he just does not understand that what comes out of his mouth is inappropriate. At the end of our argument, he said I guess you are like a dog, you sure bark like one (when I went off about how is it that you he can't understand that giving me an order to "drop it" is not alright; I'm not a dog).
Anyway, I've tried explaining this, I've tried communicating that this kind of language is hurtful, I'm at a loss. He feels that I'm absurd and that it's really not a big deal. So, either I'm nuts, or he's a total ***. ? (link)
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well how much younger is he??
I only ask this because even though age can be looked at as "just a number" sometimes that persons life experiences havent aged them enough to make them a person that someone more mature and older can be with.
someone who is younger then you but usually considered by everyone around them to be "wiser than their years" would be the right to be with for an older person. Honestly, he sounds immature and doesnt sound like he is on the same page as you about what is deemed as appropriate language for a partner or a spouse at all.
If youve tried explaining this to him and he does not care to try to change then i think you know where this is headed. He takes you for granted and might be the kind of person that needs to learn from his mistakes the hard way before he will realize that you will not be spoken to like that.
If it was ME, i would SAY straight up "excuse YOU i will NOT be spoken to like that and i dont appreciate your attitude either so calm down" stay calm while you do it and do not blow up or raise your voice.
Also its OK to make your point so long as you dont keep droning on and on about it. I noticed you said that he would say "drop it" or "are we done now?" alot and im wondering if thats because he thinks your droning on and on after the subject should be over with. (idk for sure obviously) but just try to make sure thats not the case because sometimes the conversation can tend to go in circles with one person thinking they need to re-enforce their point when the other person heard it already and gets the picture.
When he gets defensive over things just ask "whats with the defensiveness, im just asking" or "you seem a little defensive is something wrong?" and if he says yes and what it is say "well then tell me, because if you dont i cant fix it now can i??"
this will encourage communication from his side, and he might feel more free to express his thoughts and allow you to get a clearer picture of what his current quam with you is.
Usually a "ok well i hear you and i understand, but taking your frustrations out on me isnt going to help anything, its only going to make it worse" tends to work with people ive tried it on.
good luck! ; )
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22/F boyfriend 23
So I am going to start off saying my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We don't get into big arguments and if we do its because I am so stubborn. we do not live together because I live at home and he has his own place. I am over thr every weekend and pretty much every day. So on Saturday my boyfriend told me he as going into town with his friends for a reunion party. I tell him ok have fun. I went out with my friends and went to his house at the end of the night. He never came home. I was being a crazy lady asking him where he was and when he would be home never answered me. The next morning I am texting all of his friends who he was with because I was worried. I was also really worried because about 3 months ago when he never came home he ended up in a motorcycle accident and was lucky to be alive. So I was kinda having flashbags from that night. Anyway I find out from a friend they stayed the night and got a hotel. Which was fine because I rather him not drive drunk. I am upset because I never got one text until mid morning. I confronted him and he told me that he didn't know I was going to his house so he didn't know I was going to be there. Somehow blamed it on me. Now it's a couple days later he never apologized and I have been kinda sad about it. He was at work today and I decoded I would make dinner for him because I haven't seen him. I spend 50.00 on groceries come over and I said what do you want to eat? He gives some face and I'm like what and he's like don't bother. And I was like why I just went shopping? And he's like my friend is coming over and we are ordering take out. Like I haven't seen him in 3 days and I am sad he doesn't want to spend time with me. What did I do? Am I bekng super dramatic. I was crying and I told him I wanted to spend time with him and he said that "I have been doing my thing and he's been doing his thing" it's been like 5 days... I don't understand. So now I sitting in his room while he is playing video games with his friend. I'm just really sad thank you for everyone who took the time to read this. (link)
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Well it sounds like hes a bit immature if hes so stupid NOT to think that he should PROBABLY keep you updated on how hes doing beings he was just in a bad accident not too long ago. I also see though that since he DOES live on his own and you DONT live together that he might see things from the point of view that me doesnt think he should have to check in with you "every minute" as they say.
So i can see things from both sides here.
It sounds like theres not much communication going on about where you both stand on all of this and its something that needs to be done before i could give any further sound advice on this.
If hes giving you OBVIOUS attitude, then you know something is wrong and it needs to be addressed pronto, while your both together alone, and where you both feel you can talk honestly and openly.
Heres a couple things you could try: no matter what he says stay ABSOLUTELY CALM and poker faced while hes telling you what he thinks, any hints of what he might read on your face of being "overly emotional" can REALLY effect his willingness to continue to talk to you about how hes actually feeling and he'll shut down and you could ruin the whole conversation.
Also LET HIM TALK all the way through. He needs to know that your HEARING what hes saying and feels your really listening and processing everything. If you try this, you just might get the same in return when its your turn to talk.
next: Come at him with your reasoning being a sense of "just really worried because of his recent accident" and you were afraid there might be a repeat of what happened. Make it known that your only coming from a place of good intentions here, and that your not trying to smother him or be controlling at all and that he is absolutely still free to go out with his friends and do things, so long as you know ahead of time and dont accidentally try to plan something for the two of you without knowing.
Guys dont like overly controlling girls that expect their guy to "check in every minute". (((i grew up as a tom boy and ALL my friends were guys, they spoke freely around me because they were cool with me and vis versa))) One thing i know about guys is that if their gf is constantly trying to check on them, it looks bad on the guy and they will encourage the guy to NOT answer the girls texts or phone calls because their trying to spend time with him right now. Thats what could have happened here (not totally sure though).
dont forget to stress how heart sick you were after his accident and that you "thought something awful might have happened again thats all"
It is NOT WRONG of you to want to check on him at all, worry for his well being. Your a woman and your built to nurture and care for others even though at times it COULD come off as looking over protect or etc.
i hope you can get him alone and talk to him about this and get some real answers.
In the mean time leave the groceries at his place put them away, and leave the house. dont come back for a few days, dont see him unless he calls you first to talk about this issue, and when he walks into his kitchen and see's the things you bought he might just reconsider his actions when he see's how much thought you put into what you bought for him. If he doesnt see it when you talk next, then you should bring it up. the food will eventually run out and he will start to realize how good you were for him and that he could have just taken a moment to let you know everythings ok and he didnt need to act the way hes been acting.
good luck sweetie! ; )
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what does twurk mean?? (link)
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its something no one should ever do. its not attractive at all so just dont even bother wondering what it is. ; )
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Sexually speaking hoe do u knoe if a boy loves u (link)
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well does he compliment you alot? giggle and laugh and act differently with you then others??
watch how he acts others and then when hes only with you. if he does act differently around you and show you a side of him then he probly DOES like you like that.
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Hi,
I am working for a company part-time and the way my company keeps track of hours spent on certain projects is through a program. If I spend an hour on project A then I will put it into the system and mark 1.0 hour, etc (And that is the amount that reflects my paycheck). Recently my company has been a bit slow so I have been leaving early. My supervisors don't have anything for me to do when I ask them, so I see there's no point in me staying there. Today I stayed there for 8 hours and was only able to charge about half of my time there because for almost 4 hours I had no work to do, but I was basically told to wait there until something comes up. Personally, I feel that it is not fair of them to ask me to stay for 8 hours and give me work that is only chargeable for about half the time I have been there. The way the system works for part-timers is basically... I will get payed by the hours I've spent on the project, so if I'm sitting there for 3 hours doing nothing on an 8 hour day, then I will only get paid for 5 hours. But I'm only sitting there for 3 hours doing nothing because I have absolutely nothing to do from my supervisors. How can I bring this issue up to my company? (link)
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This sounds a little bit like a personal problem, what i would do is talk to your boss about what you feel the problem is and lt them know that your considering getting a second job
(even if your not) and say that you need to have a certain SET amount of hours that your being paid for so that you can work your second job in with that. then see what they say.
it IS a problem but if your a lower level employee then the likely hood of them actually fixing the whole system for you is low. I would consider another job if their unwilling to work with you on this.
I could see one excuse being that they dont know what they'll get "work wise" and want someone thats just kind of THERE already and i guess your that person?? thats the best i can guess because you were a bit short on details.
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With regard to yesterday's question,he seemed alright with me but was little distant.
He didn't talk to me in a way he always did.
Do you think he is thinking about this relationship? (link)
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Sometimes people get distant when they are really stressing out and their mind is just kind of "somewhere else" for right now, but it doesnt necessarily mean he doesnt care for you anymore. He could just be signaling that he needs some space but it sounds like hes just trying to mentally process and cope with things right now in the best way that he can.
I wouldnt read too much into it, maybe just try to ask him how his day went, my normal train of thought is "i will be nice to you until you start being mean to ME" THEN i have the right to say "hey, whats with the attitude? im trying to do something nice for you right now and this is what i get in return??" and usually people will come back down to earth a bit and realize your not the person they should be taking their frustrations out on. ; ) ((works everytime for me)) sometimes not right away but they always come back and say sorry at least.
This usually causes any normal nice guy to think about what theyve said to you and possibly change their ways a bit. good luck!
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Ok so my first week back to school is the same week I have my period and all i have that week is testing but i also have P.E the same day and I REALLY want to wear my white pants because is finnaly winter and they are my favrotes and they go with EVEYTHING of mine but im scared that I might stane them, what should I do??? (link)
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yup. you can still wear them just be more conscious of your flow and check yourself whenever you can to make sure nothing is "over flowing".
it would probably be helpful (if your a pad person) to wear the long really thin over night pads. they go all the way up your buttcrack and are so thin no one will be able to tell your wearing them. then if youve bought too many just take scissors and cut them to the shape you like or shorten them up for a better fit. ; )
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My husband and I have been married for 13. He is an amazing man who has always put family before everything (we have two young sons, 4 and 6 years old).
We live nearly 4 hours from my parents (and my side of the family, including my brother and several cousins, aunts, and uncles--grandparents are deceased) and almost 5 hours from his parents (the rest of his family is spread throughout the US and other countries). He and I both grew up very close to family, only minutes away from relatives, and have tons of fond memories of family gatherings, surprise visits, stories, sleepovers, and more...and all I've ever wanted was for my own kids to have the same memories and experiences.
We've been living this distance from family for more than 8 years now because his career relocated us, so earlier this year we discussed taking steps for him to continue his career elsewhere so we may move "back home" within the next two years and our sons can forge the relationship with their grandparents and extended family that we had with ours.
Unfortunately, my husband threw me for a loop this weekend when he confessed he doesn't really want to move...and I just want to cry. He does have a great career with a great company, and he's advancing very well, so I can understand entirely where he's coming from there. But we had already shared our plans with our parents. I know that especially my parents will be crushed, and I haven't the heart to yet break the depressing news to our parents...or our sons.
I just don't know what to do. I was genuinely looking forward to moving, and now I'm so disappointed. And I know we should stay where the money and "security" are, but I believe our sons are missing out on what my husband and I had as kids...all because of money. I also understand that traveling more to see family is another option, but this is getting expensive, means less weekends for us at our own home, and yields constant bickering from family when they argue that it's their turn for a visit (yes, we've been dealing with that for years too). Due to the distance we only see family a few times a year right now...and currently we're being pulled in a few different directions in terms of what our parents and relatives want us to plan to do for Christmas this year, which always adds more stress to the holidays for us.
I know he will do whatever I ask--he has always put me and our sons first--but I also don't want him to then be remorseful towards or upset with me.
I am in such a predicament... (link)
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i have also been in this same situation. What i found really helped was to talk to him and tell him what youve told us.
I told my husband to MAKE it work and that we would NEVER abandon family because their all we have and its our childs only link to their blood.
I remember living far away from my family as a child and i felt lonely and isolated and like none of the adults cared enough to MAKE things work so that i could have a relationship with my cousins and after years of not being able to stay close to them and we're all grown, we've had to take these adults years to spend time together to basically just get to know what another better then we did as kids because we only got to see each other a couple of times a year as well. When we talk and get to laugh with each other and see just how much alike we are it is sooo heart warming.
So this is really something special that if you absolutely can make it work (speaking as a person who felt robbed as a child and starved for that family connection) please please, take whatever heat you have to from your hubby to make this happen. the kids deserve more, they deserve good, caring family in their lives, and most of all that human connection that nothing can replace no matter how hard you try.
((I never got to know any of my grammas, or grampas, i have two aunts i barely know, and one cousin that does everything he can to travel to see me from two hours away))
I only wish i could have got to "hear grammas or grampas stories" about "back in their day" lol. Or had older more responsible family members to guide me that i could have called a role model. their all dead now because too much time went by and no one cared enough to make things work and stay close.
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Female, 18.
I'm under the suspiscion that I might be suffering from depression - or something close to it. I have already been diagnosed about three years ago with hypothyroidsm, so perhaps this adds to the factor. I haven't been taking care of myself - more than usual - I procrastinate too much and then I have tiny breakdowns where I cry alone about how stupid and worthless I mean. Because I know in fact that I am the one doing things wrong, yet can't bring myself to fix things. I have extreme low self-esteem issues and I think I have many phobias that need taking care of - I can't stand being locked up, I hate large crowds because I feel uncomfortable, I fear loads of responsability, I have stage-fright even just to speak at times and I have a completely irrational fear of reptiles, amphibians and throwing up/vomit in general. I feel like I'm letting myself go and instead of pushing forward I'm being dragged back by my low spirits. I have been loathing going into Facebook simply because I see my friends being so happy and since I don't find anything happening to be happy, I get angry at them. Its horrible on my part. I'm a nice girl, but sometimes its hard to be so and I come to moments like these where I just don't want to do/be/think anything and just... dissappear. To magically have all my problems erased somehow... which only gets people angry at me or something and makes me feel worse. I just realized that my thoughts are being perhaps a bit toooo negative and I might actually need help here. (link)
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Ok well, for one thing let me just say medication for depression is not ALWAYS the answer. Theres been a study done where alot of people who are on certain types of depression meds need more and more over time and then end up killing themselves or harming others after missing a dosage time just ONCE. ((so think about other ways to get back your feet without those first))
What i WILL say here is it sounds like you need to get out. everyone has to start somewhere with everything in their lives, and everyone is "a beginner" at some point in everything we do. Maybe you could try starting out by taking short walks around your neighborhood, even if its at night when no one is around. You could walk a pet outside or bike, just getting some fresh air everyday can really help chemical levels in your brain and get fluids moving and in turn will help with sleeping and feeling better.
you have to try to just put one foot in front of the other. Dont look at the bigger picture for right now just take things slow and handle one thing at a time. You seem like your overwhelmed when you think about everything thats wrong in your life.
Also, facebook can have a great way of making peoples lives look ALOT better then they actually are. lol. So try not to take pictures and comments to heart.
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She's mean to me. She's traveling with my sister whom she always picks over me. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. My sister can go & come back whenever she wants to but I'm just expected to stay home & take care of my siblings. I wish I was dead. Wouldn't have to deal with this on a daily basis (link)
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Ok you havent really given my enough info here to help you but ill be general. You dont always need your family for everything first off. we're meant in life to have many different types of relationships with people even if they arent blood. family "isnt everything" thats a sugar coated lie. Some family just DONT get along or arent capable of giving us what we need to feel loved and cared about no matter how much you make your feelings known with them.
Do you have any good old friends you can turn to here? sometimes it takes NON blood relationships to help us take control again and feel like we can get back on our feet and STAY grounded mentally and emotionally.
Reach out to them if you can, time changes everyone and wrongs can be made right even with old friends. ; )
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22/f
In an ldr for around 2 months now.My boyfriend is moody..he retreats into his cave.
I last spoke to him day before yesterday and he was all lovey dovey.
And yesterday he didn't reply to my messages and later when I asked him if he's busy, he said he's not but unhappy with his uni.
He moved there 2 months back. Things have been hectic for him I'm assuming.
He skypes often.Usually initiates it all the time.
Talks to me well and all that's there.
I do not like the fact that his mood swings get to me.
I asked him if hes unhappy with the relationship, he said not at all,and he had mood swings last week as well (so I asked him if it was me,he assured it wasn't)
So I dunno if this is a way of signalling that hes donw wit the relationship.
I am totally paranoid when it comes to this.
I asked him "if this changes things between us"
Him : no not the relationship
Me : it eventually would,if you stop talking to me.
Him : I wouldn't stop talking to u,my feelings for you haven't changed
I'm having a bad day.
What am I supposed to assume from this?
I'm confused!:(
(link)
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Well you should assume hes having a bad day! lol. Im if hes usually very open and honest with you and not afraid to share his feelings then it sounds like hes just stressed and ACTUALLY with you assuming things like this, it could be stressing him out MORE that now he thinks you guys are having problems when in reality it wasnt you at ALL. see?
try not to take his venting too personally he could just not be having as easy a time with school as he thought. maybe try to be supportive for a while and make it known that you support his choices and that its OK to vent his frustrations with you if he wants as long as hes not just misdirecting his anger at YOU personally by belittling or making you feel bad about yourself.
honestly it just sounds like hes stressing over school thats all. Give him some time. Maybe try asking him every single day "how was your day today??" and maybe mention some things you did too so there is a feeling that you care about his day to day life. (works with my now hubby of 14 years) ; )
good luck
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Hello,
Am writing to ask you all for advice. I met a guy while ago. From the first date I knew he's the one and I felt like he thinks like this too. He treats me like a princess, takes care of me , comes to visit me in my city spends weekends with me. Unfortunately, he came 2 days ago to see me, We went for lovely dinner had few drinks and than he said to me '' I know you have feelings'' I pretend that I dnt know what he's on about but than he said '' i think its the last time we should meet cause u have feelings and I will go to Scotland for 2 years and I do not want u to suffer and i dnt want to suffer , also I am happy single'' than i tried not to cry we went home were lyin in bed than the topic started again. I admitted that ya I do start to have feelings he said that Im better off without him. Was crying all night and he was huging me saying he will miss me and all. In the morning when I woke up was crying again while he was kissing me hugin and than suddenly i saw he was crying too. He said he really likes me and if we continue it his heart will be broken when he leaves, but he still wants to meet me and spend the last few weeks together eventhough it will hurt both of us. Later on he asked me '' would you be happy if I propose to u'' and i just took it as joke but he seemed upset ( but before he said he wants to b single!! ) Since than I dnt know what to do I know he has to go for college and all, but I would like us to be together and I know he has feelings too but just cause he has to go he said it all. Please help me what can I do ;((( I really care bout him so much and it hurts thinking that he will go away soon ;(
Now I am really worried... I wrote to him this morning got a message back but since dan I didn't get any respond :( Normally we were writing all the time even when he was at work ( like today). Any idea what is going on? is it possible that he just try to stay away from me or is it just dat he's busy ;((( (link)
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awww sweetie, this kind of thing is ALWAYS tough. Personally i feel that he should/could have told you sooner that he would be going away so far for so long a WHOLE lot sooner then he did.
It was kind of uncool of him to get involved with someone if he knew he would be leaving and in a sense leading someone on before he broke the news to you.
If hes asking you to marry him then at this point he just feels badly, and it sounds like he wants to please you instead of doing it for the right reasons. just to make you happy for the moment because he cant stand to see you in such pain which is NOT the answer here, ever.
the best thing you can do is keep in contact if you want and try to both just go on with your lives. If you and him end up getting back together after his two years away then GREAT, but if not try to have your own things going on for yourself. It really isnt the end of the world even tho im sure it feels like it right now.
good luck ; )
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Hello, I am a 25 year old guy and I am in a relationship with a girl from almost 3 years. I am Christian from religion and she is Hindu.
Now we are in a tough situation as we both love our parents and don't want to go against their will for the marriage. And none of our parents are ready to accept our relation.
Any advice and suggestions for handling this situation are really appreciated.
God Bless!! (link)
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I think you should follow your hearts no matter what religion you both are. If you love each other alot then religion will not matter.
I was raised christian as well but only went to church every sunday as a kid and was told by the sunday school teacher that it didnt matter if we came to church all the time or not, as long as we had the basic belief and "kept god in our hearts" that any kind of over zealous beliefs or pushing them on others was not needed. If your both active worshiping members if a church or whatever then this might be more of an issue.
Really all that matters is that you teach your kids to grow to be decent, hard working human beings.
You can both still be together but keep the religious stuff at a distance if its an issue.
My husbands family was old school Catholic, and wanted to teach our son (their first grand child) some of "the ways" and we allow ALITTLE bit of it because thats who our sons grand parents are as PEOPLE, and we want him to know them but have spoken with them and said that we will not be raising him with either side of our beliefs. just being a decent human being, and working and raising him with good values will be what we expect to be enough and thats going to have to due.
You are your new possible bride were not put on this earth to please every whim your parents have. your adults and its time to live your own lives and all they should be doing is hope that they raised a good person in the end.
Maybe you could tell your girlfriend some of this stuff and see how she feels about standing up and letting her parents know where she is on this issue should the day come.
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I come from a family that lives on low income and food stamps. I'm 16 and I live in Minnesota. I always look up things online and I see so many things I would literally sacrafice everything to have. I know I seem money hungry, and I am! And I know that I could have the money I wanted and be able to buy those things, I have potential, but its the starting part I'm having trouble with. I want to be able to move out at 18 and be able to tell my parents I told you so. And prove my parents that I wouldn't wind up like them. But at the rate my life is going, that just might happen. So please, help me. Oh, and I don't know if it helps but I loove to
sing and dance. That's basically what my life is.
Music,dance, and money. Please help me.
(link)
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music, dance and money. hmmm you sound like the perfect back up dancer for someone famous, and you could be in music videos!
Theres nothing wrong with having determination!
Im from a low income welfare family as well and i know the feeling!
you can get a grant based on your parents income and go to a community college for free for whatever you want, and in the mean time work out at the gym, get yourself fit and start putting out a resume for casting calls asking for back up dancers or performances for theaters and before you know it youll be out here in LA california and making a steady high living at what you love!
the down side though is (coming from a background of (performing arts jazz, tap, and ballet) that you need to maintain your body and if you a female getting pregnant in that world is not an option) so youll probably have to put off having a family for a while. unless you mean someone that will support you through that period until you can get back to work. if your a male then youve got it made in that world and youll have no issues!
you might want to have a day job though. Something to fall back on when things are slow and your not making the money you need to pay the bills. other then that you should be ok!
keep that determination going and dont let anything get in the way! good luck!
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My step dad is really mean sometimes and is just always yelling. I tell my mom about this but she won't do anything about it. (link)
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ok idk how old you are but im going to try to break this down for you as easy as i can.
there could be a BUNCH of reasons why she isnt doing anything about it. One could be: she doesnt want to be alone and is willing to put up with someone else belittling/yelling at you or her because her fear of being alone is THAT bad. She could be a dependant person and feel for (for her sanity) she needs a man in her life, which should never be the answer but unfortunately its like that sometimes.
Does he get violent with you when he does this? if so call the police and tell them to come over, or tell your mother that if your step father continues to act like hes going to get violent with you that you will call for her because your scared and you wanna look out for her and your safety.
She needs to HEAR from you that your concerned for everyones safety when he does this, and its NOT ok and she either needs to talk to him or you WILL call the cops. sometimes it starts out with just them yelling at everyone constantly, and it can lead to hitting and abusive behavior.
Another reason he could be yelling is because hes really not happy with you all and maybe you could talk to him in a calm manner and ask him if hes ACTUALLY happy be married and being here with you all. this will most likely really surprise him and he MIGHT actually open up to you and you might be able to get some honest answers. not matter what happens STAY CALM. People who are highly emotional and get angry and yell easily will just get more angry and can sometimes feed off of your anger, so dont fuel the fire if he cant control himself.
Bottom like try to have a serious conversation with your mom first while your both alone together about him and see what happens.
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My grandparents are extremely important to me and I don't use to be like that. I used to feel that I might die if anything happened to them however lately I started to feel disgust(not exactly but dont noe wat else) and can't feel anything when they are sick. Once my grandfather had a heart attack and all I could think of was "I should be worried". I have problems with my father who repeatedly make troubles bcause he kept thinking badly of my grandparents ( they were my mother's parents).I also use to hate my father but recently can't bring myself to. Everything simply went opposite. Deep down I knew it was because I unconsciousLy chose it this way as a defensive mechanism. What I want to know is, how I can change my mindset again? I KNOW I love my grandparents and don't want to be that unfilial child that can't feel anything even when they die.I know it sounds rlly ironic but everything I mentioned is true (link)
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I dont see the irony here, but what it DOES sound like is that you might need some counseling. It sounds like your doing what your doing to cope with things, and closing your emotions off is what your mind felt what work for you but obviously you know enough to know that this is not going to work.
your father may not like them but it doesnt mean you have to listen to him when he talks badly about them or whatever. Try not to take what hes saying personally, he has the views he has for a reason and those reasons might be based on his history with them over the span of manyyyy many years even before you were born possibly. It could also be based on his view of the world as a whole but no matter, you can still care for whoever you want weather he likes them or not.
try not to let what a family member says about other one effect you too much. If you decide you want to say something to him about it, i would mention that they are old and theres no need to be disrespectful about whatever it is their doing or not doing. Its just a waste of energy for him to spend his time thinking about how much he DOESNT like something. its unproductive and thats not living life. its existing and thats about it. Remind him that maybe he should worry about his own issues and not other peoples.
Its really good of you to care so deeply for your grandparents and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would consider this just a rough patch for you and try to just power through it and continue to help and care for them despite what your father is saying.
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how i convience to my girlfriend doing sex with me..?? (link)
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Well first off you shouldnt have to "convince her" if shes not ready and you force her thats rape my friend.
you could talk to her about it and maybe try dry humping and/or fingering her first while you make out to relax her first and THEN see if she wants to go all the way, but i wouldnt force the issue. There may be other reasons she doesnt want to yet. she may have suffered abuse and the thought of sex brings back those memories for her. So just allow her to take it slow and try again later.
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