I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50049
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Xenolan
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i used to have pretty clear skin..the only zits i would get were around my nose in the "t-zone" but now theres scars on my cheeks..and even zits there too..basically all over..their not huge and hideous but they are visible..and i was wondering if anyone knew the BEST thing to clear skin..something not too expensive..just any kind of method it doesnt have to be a product..by the way my skins combination/oily but mostly oily and i wear liquid makeup because it covers best (link)
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I think I would use something with an alpha-hydroxy acid, like a chemical peel. Prescription drugs like Retin-A have it, but so do many over-the-counter products. That will help with both the zits and the scars.
Sabine
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okay, so theres this guy. i like him. a lot. but i don`t think he likes me. in fact, i really doubt he does. but hes such a sweety. he always flirts with me and stuff. so a while ago, before winter break, we made out and stuff when he snuck me out. then, we didnt talk much. after winter break, we started talking more and stuff. he snuck me out again last night, and i dont know what came over me, but i had sex with him. i only saw him once today and i gave him a hug and then had to go to class. i dont know what to do now. tomorrow, i probably wont see him all day, because i have iss. but like, i dunno if i should talk to him about it or what. because when i talked to him after the first time, he just said how it was spur of the moment and stuff. i know it was really stupid to do this, and i know it probably sounds real slutty, but now, i dunno what i should do. (link)
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It doesn't sound like you're slutty. Try talking to him again at your next opportunity and if he's chatty and asks you out on a real date great. If not, then he doesn't want to be with you - just wants to fool around. It sounds like he's using you if he wants to "sneak" you out and do things with you and then doesn't want to talk the next day. Are you okay with being his screw? If you want a real relationship, demand one. If he won't have a relationship, stop having sex with him. The next time he comes to sneak you out tell him to buzz off.
Sabine
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ok ill get strait to the point! My boyfriend is big!! He is bigger than the other guys i've seen! he has fingered me and everything but he couldn't get 2 fingers in, just 1. we tried to pull a wuicky (have sex quickly) for the first time for both of us and I am too small. so if we use a lubricated condom will he slide in? or do we have to push and force it? (link)
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Yes, use lots of lube and have him lie on his back. You get on top. Use your fingers or his to apply lube (get liquid KY or Astroglide or some high-quality. Not just lubed condoms and never anything with oil.). Apply lots of lube, and then guide his penis to your vagina with your hand. Insert it into yourself slowly, asking him not to buck his hips or thrust at all. Breathe if it hurts. If it hurts too much, get him out and try again in a few minutes. After a while, it'll be okay. If he's too long, then you can control the depth while you're on top of him. Good luck.
Sabine
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13/f
ok well i just recently started getting my period a few months ago...i've had like 4 or 5 so far. and whenever i get it, i constantly feel like i have to pee. that might not sound so bad but its like painful...theres like a pain in my bladder and vaginal area, ussually i have to sit in the restroom for hours for it to go away...i've even had to come home from school it's gotten so bad.
is this normal? and is there anything i can do to either make it go away faster or all together?
thanks! (link)
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Most people don't get this problem. It's a possibility that due to bacteria on a pad spreading, you're getting a bladder infection every month. Make sure you change it frequently. Use tampons if you are able and change them at least every 4 hours. Do not wear them overnight. Take Tylenol or Advil for pain if your parents allow. Make sure you wipe from the front to the back, never wiping from back to front as that carries bacteria into the urinary opening, which is between your vagina and your clitoris. Use each wad of toilet paper for only one swipe. Other than that, drink lots of water to help carry toxins out of your muscles and to flush out your bladder. If you feel again like you have to pee but can't, see a doctor because that's a sign of a bladder infection. If this is accompanied by back pain at the waist level, pain that travels from your back to your groin area or vice-versa, or by a fever, consult your doctor.
Sabine
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i know there must be alot of these questions but i need to know whether my daily diet is healthy oh btw im a vegetarian...
breakfast - toast (brown bread)
lunch - sandwhich (brown bread) crisps
dinner - i have a variety of things such as - pizza, noodles, vege burgers, vege fish fingers etc..
snacks - i don't normally snack but if i do i just normally have ome peanuts.
i've been eating like this ever since christmas and i've noticed iv'e lost a alot of weight and i have't really been active that much so i was thinking maybe because i changed my diet thats why i've lost weight...
oh btw 13/f
thanks
xxxx (link)
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I didn't see any fresh fruits or vegetables. The veggie protein doesn't really count. I hope you are adding fresh, preferably raw, fruits and veggies as well. Your diet looks kind of starch-heavy to me.
Sabine
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I have a deep fear of germs and getting sick. Even the thought of catching a regular cold drives me crazy. I was my hands for 10 minutes, and at school, I wear a bandanna that covers my nose and mouth to help keep the germs away. I mean, hey it's not my fault that kids at my school go swimming in 10 degree weather over the weekend, and then catch a cold. Basically Everyone is sick at my school ALL the time.
Some of my teachers get mad at me when I wear my bandanna, but if they make me sit next to, talk to, and help out sick people, why shouldn't I be able to wear it? I'm not going to get sick because of one stupid person. Last week, I skipped alot of my classes just because I sat next to sick people in them and I don't want to get sick. Mainly because I just started working out, and if I'm sick, I won't be able to work out. (yes, working out is REALLY important to me.)
Now my question, I guess my question is, is there anything else I can do from getting sick? Any healthy tips that you can inform me on? (Besides obvious stuff like washing your hands.) Do you think the bandanna is a good idea? I've actually considered wearing a surgical mask but then people would think I'm even weirder.
Also, how possible is it that I'm going to get sick if I sit next to someone sick, for about 45 minutes every day? (Keep in mind that I'm wearing my bandanna over my nose and mouth.) ANY advice you have would be helpful because I'm flipping out right now. (link)
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Okay - here are the answers to your questions, first. How possible is it that you will get sick by sitting next to someone who's sick for about 45 minutes each day, while wearing a bandana over your nose and mouth? Well, assuming that you have a normal immune system, the answer is going to depend on several things - whether that other person is sick with a virus or a bacteria, whether the virus or bacteria is spread by droplets, whether the person is coughing/sneezing, how good his or her hygiene is, whether you accept anything that person has touched, such as papers passed over, the distance between your seats, and whether or not your immune system has already encountered this virus before. There's no way to quantify how likely you are to get sick from it because there are so many factors involved.
How to keep from getting sick otherwise? Washing your hands for 10 minutes won't help. You need to wash for approximately 1 minute in water as warm as you can stand, with soap. Regular soap will kill most germs. Hold your arms at an angle with the elbows up and fingertips down. Rinse very well and use a paper towel to turn the fawcet off. Antibacterial soap with triclosan can kill more germs, but it might help make some of them resistant, so the jury's out on that one. The bandana might make you feel better, but it may not in fact be effective. The weave is big enough that it may not filter out microdroplets which are produced when someone sneezes. A proper filtering mask (sold in grocery and discount stores) would be more effective. If the bandana makes you feel safer, you should change it frequently, not touching the outside, and make sure that it is clean and preferably bleached. In addition, carry around and frequently use hand sanitizer. It can kill germs quickly and efficiently. There's even hand sanitizer that has the ingredient triclosan, the antibiotic. I saw that on a pharmacy counter. Other tips are keep your nails short and clean, especially underneath the nail, don't get cuts or scrapes or pull hangnails, and use lotion on your hands to keep bacteria from getting into cracked skin. Wear gloves when handling raw foods. I'd just skip food from the cafeteria and fast food, as well. Eat a variety of foods, including "eating a rainbow" of fruits and veggies. Eat enough lean protein, dairy, and grains. Wash all produce before eating it. Don't touch door knobs or light switches if you can avoid it. Use a paper towel. Lysol your locker door handle and all other such surfaces. If you can help it, don't touch your face, especially near your eyes, mouth, and nose. Carry your own pens and don't use anyone else's or allow anyone to use yours. When you work out, clean all of the equipment right before you use it.
Now, if you continue to worry so much about getting sick, you are going to miss out on living. Take a look at this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCPD
OCPD is not the same obsessive-compulsive disorder you hear about. It's more a personality type or, in extreme, a personality disorder. If you continue to skip classes and worry so much about germs that you could never do normal things, like kiss another person, your germophobia will interfere with your life significantly. I suggest that you should take a look around yourself and see if your fear of getting sick is in proportion to the risks of getting sick and the potential consequences. I think you may have more fear than is appropriate and you should try not to worry so much about it. If you can't stop thinking about it, I would suggest that you talk with a parent or school counselor to find out what to do next.
I hope I have helped.
Sabine
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Where can I get some plain, black pants? Nothing fancy, and not Dickies. Just plain black pants that are like jeans, but not. Anyone have any idea where I could get some? I'd appriciate it a lot. =) Thanks! (link)
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Size and gender information would help here.
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hey so im really wondering if im doing the right thing here. ok so i used to drink ... for like 6 months but during this time one of my friends (amanda) found out about it and was like i won't be your friend anymore if you drink.. so i didn't stop immediatley but now i've stopped.. but she still doesn't beleive me/has moved on to other friends so i've basically lost her. i also have this other friend (christy) who i drank with and we were really close but now that i dont drink anymore she just hangs around this other girl all the time and never with me... except at school because she hates amanda and all the girls at the lunch table we used to sit at with amanda (because amanda told these girls that we drink and now they dont look at us the same anymore) so me and chrisrty just sit alone together at lunch (basically cuz i have no one else to sit with) oh and then i have this other friend (liz) who i had been really good friends with for the past two years but i kind ditched her because amanda/christy were more fun... and i would go back to hanging out with HER except she kind of makes me feel uncomfortable because she told me she was gay so yeah. so now i have basically no friends because i've lost all of them from both crowds... i'm starting to wonder if i made the right choice by stopping drinking since it hasnt gotten me anywhere and it used to make me feel better about my life when i did.. any advice? please? (link)
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Okay, you're "sitting with" people at lunch thing makes me think you're in high school. So yes, quitting drinking was the right thing. It sounds as if you're in between cliques right now. I think you can either branch out to find new friends (surely there are more than six girls in your school) or pour yourself into your studies. After all, you need to concentrate right now on preparing yourself for the best future possible. When you're 21, well-educated, and on your way to self-sufficiency, then you can try drinking again, and it will be better because you won't have to hide it from anyone or feel as if you're being judged.
So know that stopping drinking may not have saved your friendships, but it was the right thing to do for yourself. It keeps you from getting into trouble with the police, from being denied admission into college for criminal history or denied financial aid, from accidentally getting raped, pregnant, or getting an STD while drunk, and from blowing off your future for a party today. You're doing the right thing.
Sabine
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I am a whiz on the computer and the Internet and she knows that - she is not disputing that - she always tells me that she wishes she knew how to use the computer the way I do. STORY: Ok today I had a fight with my mom. I had gone online to a major department store to find a furniture item for the Living Room. But I couldnt find it. Any way she called the store and they said that they do not have it in stock but they have it online. So she asked how can we find it online. I got defensive because I thought she was saying she thought I did not know how to use the Internet so I snapped at her. She got nasty. MY QUESTION: When people fight do they say nasty things that they dont mean just because they want to hurt the other person? (link)
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Yes, sometimes they do, but they shouldn't. Try to keep your temper under control. Ask your mom to do the same if she comes out with a nasty word. Tell her how it makes you feel and promise that you will treat her with respect if she will treat you with respect. Everyone gets into fights. Everyone snaps at moms. Every mom snaps at her children. I think you should say factual things, but don't lash out in anger.
Sabine
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OKay, this is how my story goes.
I fell inlove with this guy who i aked out- he rejected me. Apparently he liked me, but not as in going out. I'm going out with someone I really dont have any feelings for & he's going out with a fit-blonde-gorgeous person. I'm jealous i can't get this guy off my mind.
I really really really really want to be with him. The thing is- I want to start out by getting close to him & then being more "flirtatious" h e l p = )
{school relation} (link)
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Sorry, hon. You may be unhappy with this answer, but he said no. Even if you did change something about yourself to be more attractive to him in a bid to get his attention, he would either not fall for it or only go out with you now based upon shallow appearances. Being flirtatious is about giving hints that you like someone. If you have already asked him out, point-blank, and he turned you down, then he probably won't take kindly to being flirted with. Neither will his Barbie doll. I'm sorry to say, but I think you should move on.
Sabine
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everytime me and my boyfriend go places, i always drive, and either ill pay for everything, or we'll split the cost, we've been going out for a while, and its always been like this, it's starting to really get on my nerves. what should i do? he's really senstive so i don't wanna be really harsh. (link)
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Are you on equal footing, financially? Would his paying for part of dates mean that he had to choose between either not going with you or not paying the rent? Do you make more money or live at home to save money while he's responsible for living expenses? If not, and you're on the same footing, I'd just mention to him that you like him a lot, but the dates are becoming a financial burden. If he wants to continue to eat out, etc., he'll have to be the host (pay the bill). With my boyfriends, I paid one time and he paid the next. If one of us paid twice in a row, it wasn't a big deal. We ate at Taco Bell a few times or made dinners at our apartments or had picnics in the park. If he's someone you can have a future with, he should be someone with whom you can talk money.
Sabine
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I went to the Gynecologist a week ago. I was prescribed with Birth control to take, and hormone pills (medroxyprogesterone 10 mg). I have to take the BC for 3 months, and the hormone pill for 10 days, however it's now the 7th day and I have not started my period. My Gynecologist said I would within 10 days, but I am scared it won't work since I am almost done with it. My Gynecologist already checked for cysts, and my thyroids.. I am healthy. I got a blood test done and I am still waiting for that to come. So what in the blood test would they find that could affect my irregular periods??
My other questions are, should I be worried it won't happen? And if I don't start, should I go back to my gyno or wait a few days and see what happens?
And also I took the BC the day I got it, as recommended by my Doctor, so could the BC affect the hormone pill?
I'm pretty paranoid. And I am taking Birth control for irregular periods and NOT for prevention of pregnancy.
Please help!! Thanks. (link)
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Well, first, you should know that one source of irregular periods is stress, which you seem to have quite enough of. :)
Wait another 3 days. Sometimes those pills don't restore periods and there are many possible reasons why. The bloodwork the doc is doing probably relates to hormone levels. Your body has many, many hormones which have to work in concert with each other. They have to be balanced and while one rises the other diminishes. If there's an imbalance in the hormone levels, it could be due to inadequate body fat, too much body fat, malfunctioning ovaries, poor nutrition, or a problem with the hypothalamus, thymus, or pineal glands, among other things. The point is that your doctor is on top of it. You pay her to worry so you don't have to. Tomorrow, call to see if the results of the bloodwork are in. Let her know that you haven't yet started your period. If she's worried, she'll either give you further instruction or ask you to come in again.
Good luck and try to breathe.
Sabine
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so wen i go to starbucks i usually get a frappacino because i dont like the taste of strong coffee, but i like how there is a little tase of coffee in frappacinos. is the any other kind of drink that is really good but not alot of coffee? (link)
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I like lattes.
Sabine
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hey, well i have a few questions about sex.
1) the first time you have sex, ive heard that you bleed? is that true?
2) how much do you bleed and for how long?
3) does it hurt when its your first time? (link)
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Eesh. There should be a FAQ for just this sort of case. We see this question all of the time.
1) Yes, sometimes the woman bleeds when her hymen is transected.
2) How much? Usually about a tablespoon and for a few minutes. Sometimes she can have blood on the toilet paper for a few days. It's usually not much and if there is much, it's a sign something else is wrong, usually.
3) Does it hurt the first time? Yes, usually. You're usually nervous, which doesn't promote muscle relaxation and having a penis put inside where nothing has been before can stretch and hurt.
Go slowly, use lots of lube, ask him to stop if you need a break, try again if you don't succeed, and most of all, use protection. You *can* get pregnant the first time and you don't want life-changing things like pregnancy or STDs to decide your future for you.
Sabine
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15/m
ok so my girlfriend and and i are really really in love, and i know that sounds cheesy but its true.
we've never exactly "made out" . . . we kiss each otehr all the time but yea. . .
anyway, i don't want to sound sleazy or anything, but i've thought about possibly fingering her. . . i keep getting this vibe from her that she wants to go further.
anyway, i guess my question is, is it appropriate for people our age to do so? i mean i've read alot of people who are our age's questions about the topic. . .and i don't know. . .
thanks in advance (link)
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Time to have a very honest discussion with your girlfriend in very frank language to find out what she does and does not want. No "vibe" stuff. Please ask her what she's ready for and what her limitations are. Decide together how far you want to go.
Sabine
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I was having sex last month and he promised he would use a condom. I was in the bathroom putting my new outfit on from Victoria Secret: sparkly, short skirt with a lacy see through corsette. He wanted me to make it sexy, so i did. So i went in the room and he said he had put the condom on so we had sex. He entered me and it felt weird. Then he cummed. It felt so good. But then he pulled it out after we were done, it lasted two hours by the way! But, there was no condom! He lied and never put a condom on! He said it feels better without one on.I was supposed ot get my period last week. I havent gotten it at all. My breats are tender and i havent had much of an appitite. PLEASE HELP ME! I'm 18/F
1)Does it feel better without a condom on?
2)Am i pregnant?
3)What should i do?
4)SHould i stay with this guy?
HELP ME I NEED ALL THE ADIVCE POSSIBLE! I WANT ALOT OF ADVICE! (link)
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1) Yes, most guys think sex feels better without a condom.
2) You have some classic symptoms of pregnancy. You should take a test/see a doctor to be sure. You can also get free pregnancy tests, but they often come from anti-abortion places trying to convince you of their stance. Planned parenthood, if you're near one, is a good source of reproductive health care.
3) What should you do? It's up to you and at 18 you're an adult. The first thing you should do is confirm the pregnancy. If you do not show up as pregnant, repeat the test in another couple of weeks to be sure. If you are pregnant, then decide whether you're going to have the baby. If not, talk to someone about abortion. If so, decide whether you're going to parent this child or give it up for adoption. If you need help making this decision, talk to the father of the child (make sure he knows that it's his and the extent to which you want him to be involved with the child, including financially), talk to a priest/minister/whatever, to a doctor, to a family member, to friends, or to whomever you feel can give you support or solace. Having a baby could seriously alter your plans for your life. I urge you to hold him financially responsible for the child he has created, whether paying for half the abortion or expenses for bringing the baby to term or child support for the next 18 years.
4) WHATEVER YOU DO, DUMP HIM. He's obviously too selfish to be trusted. Never sleep with him again. This pregnancy or pregnancy scare will only be the beginning of your heartache if you stay with someone who would risk your future, your health, and your relationship for one night of sex without protection. He does not have your interests at heart. Get rid of him immediately except to hold him responsible for any damage he has done so far.
I hope you aren't pregnant, for your sake. My inbox is open if you need anything.
Sabine
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I am so confused, there are 2 guys... and I don't know which one to pick. [15/f]
1st guy- I met him at church camp last year. He is so sweet. He told me I was perfect. He's said he loves me about a billion times. He has planned to ask me about a few times, but things get ruined. [He wants to ask me out in PERSON. It got ruined, because 1. the place we were supposed to go got rained out 2. he got grounded.] But, aside from how nice he is, he is also kind of bad. He's tried a cigarette, he drinks every now and then, and.. well.. he's pretty bad. But he is REALLY smart. Now, he has a girlfriend, but we still talk almost everyday. He still likes me, he's said it... Ah!
2nd guy- I went out with him for like, 3 days. He's not very popular. I've never really liked him. But he is so sweet! He's nervous & scared, but very nice, smart, and NOT bad. We have no history, at all... but that could change? Everyday he talks to me.
Which one should I pick? (link)
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Okay - Guy number 1 is out of the picture. He's seeing someone. You don't want to be *that* girl. If you want to pursue it, do so only after he has completely broken off his previous relationship.
Guy number 2 is a possibility if you have chemistry with him.
There are always a few hundred thousand other guys who will cross your path and may increase your options. Or you can choose not to see anyone right now.
Sabine
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ok so i've always been like a really good girl and stuff.. all honors, does extracirriculars, doesn't fight with parents, the whole deal. well this summer(after freshman year) i started drinking just to have fun but now its gotten me in a little bit of trouble. k. so when i was really drunk with my friends with decided to call up this senior kid who is friends with my friend.so he comes to the house at like 2. and ALL of us kinda take turns hooking up with him... but i only let him go to like.. a little past 1st. sooo the next day he IMs me and is like hey wanna hang out? and so im like sure and we've hung out a few times and now i think i really like him... but ever since that first time we've never done anything physical. my question is do you think its trashy to go out with him because we met so awkwardly? and do you think my drinking has gotten out of hand because of the situation its put me in? thx. 15/f by the way. (link)
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How strongly can I disagree with the first answer?!?! Listen, ANY drinking a 15-year-old does is out of hand! The relationship with the boy is neither trashy nor acceptable, it's just a new relationship. But yes, you need to stop drinking. You are not old enough or mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes along with drinking. If someone gets alcohol poisoning at one of your parties, who is going to make sure your guest doesn't die? Are you ready for possibilities that come with sex while drunk, such as pregnancy, STDs, and rape? Please, stop drinking. Not for your parents or for anyone else. Do it because you want to safeguard your future!
Sabine
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What are after morning pills?
And I heard that if you drink 2 tablespoons of vinegar before you eat...then I don't know. What's the purpose of drinking 2 tablespoons before a meal?
Thanks very much and don't feel obligated to have to answer both =] (link)
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The morning after pill is a hormone pill similar to birth control pills. It contains progesterone, which interferes with implantation of a fertilized egg into the lining of a uterus. It is not the same as the abortion pill.
Some people believe that drinking apple cider vinegar before a meal helps with digestion and provides other health benefits.
Sabine
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Ok so.. my boobs have gotten smaller. It sucks. I've always been thin. I'm about 5'6 105 lbs., or something around there. I don't think i really lost any weight though, and nothing else seems to have gotten smaller. I also don't get my periods regularly. I got the first one about 3 1/2 years ago, so they should be regular by now. They skip months and always come at different times of the month. I just finished a period, but it had been the first one in a few months. I'm thinking maybe this has something to with my boobs shrinking? Help! Anyone know what's going on. I want my boobs back. (link)
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I agree with the first person. You are underweight. Your BMI is less than 18. In order to be in the 'normal'category, you should weigh about 115 lb. This is probably why your periods are irregular and why your breasts are shrinking. You could be gaining height and therefore getting a little thinner and losing weight in your chest. Don't forget, your skeleton isn't complete until you're about 18 years old for females and 20-22 for males. Good luck gaining weight and getting your boobs back. If it doesn't work, you can always get the padded, push-up bras and still look very feminine.
Sabine
Addition: In the feedback, you asked about hormones. Yes, this could be a result of hormone problems, but likely that all still leads back to your weight. You see, estrogen is stored in fat cells. If you don't have enough body fat, your estrogen levels will fluctuate and can be too low to maintain sexual characteristics such as the hourglass figure and menstrual cycles. If you're worried, see a doctor. Thanks for the feedback.
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