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March 8, 2005Answers:
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April 18, 2005Visitors:
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Cheers! I enjoy giving advice and I think I'm good at it. Is it pretentious to say I refuse to answer questions about "Love" from people who are under age 16? I don't think love is real when you're 14, and I don't think you can fall in love in a month. I won't dignify that kind of stupidity with an answer. I also won't answer questions with terrible grammar. I just make fun of them on myspace! I know that's not nice, but it's just SO easy. And it's so unfair for me to give them a good, honest answer when they haven't asked a good, proper question. Ask me a real question and I will give you a real answer!
advice
I am a virgin and I am ready to have sex i think about it all the time but i'm afraid that it might hurt. My question it what does the first time haveing sex feel like? Is is digusting and painful or is it wild and crazy in good way?
For your first time, I would advise that you take it as slowly as time allows. The more prepared you are physically, emotionally, and mentally, the less it'll hurt and the better your first time experience will be.
Use plenty of foreplay, and I mean plenty. It may or may not hurt, depending on how ready your body is. When you are fully aroused, your body will actually widen the tiniest bit, but every inch counts.
Don't forget to use a condoms and lube. And if at anytime during your experience you want to stop, it is fully within your right to say no.
Good luck.
ok well im 18/f , and my b/f got me pregnant , lik 3 months ago, b4 he broke up wit me. today he punched me in the stomach , nd in my face. and i dnt kno wut to do?? plz help me. how do i kno if he killed my baby?
Why the hell is he punching you period? Go to your doctor and have them do an ultrasound ASAP, but while you're at it, you may want to call the police and report what happened. You could press charges for assault and have him arrested. I'm not 100% sure on the laws, but if you get a good lawyer, you may be able to press charges for murder or attempted murder of your baby.
i'm 14 and i think about sex kind of a lot because this one guy that i really really like wants to have sex w/ me but i don't really want to but then again i look at some of my friends that are 14 and they've lost their virginity already but i don't really want to have sex w/ this one guy but then i do..i'm confused and i don't know if i'm totally out of my mind for thinking about this but i don't want to have sex w/ him but then i do..is it bad to even think about it when i'm 14?
If you're this conflicted about having sex with this guy, then you should not do it. Sex should be something you're confident about doing, and you shouldn't do it just because your friends have or because some guy wants you to. You are not a piece of meat. You can make your own decisions and you don't need someone who doesn't respect you trying to get you to do something you don't want. I think it's more than obvious in your post that you don't even want to have sex, even if you "really really like" this guy.
Respect yourself! Losing your virginity is something that happens only once--do you want to give it up for no other reason than because your friends did it? BE safe.
i hear constantly about 14 year olds having sex... this is scary. what has the world come to? one day people will be having sex at 8 and then people will finally realise there is a problem. i dont see why 14 year olds have sex when they are so young... at 14 i was like, gross, why have sex? i'm 17 now and i am a virgin... i am proud of that and i like it coz guys respect me and i know a guy isn't going out with me for sex. what i want to know is why do girls lose that respect at such a young age? and how young were people when they lost their virginity???
- confused
I don't believe that fourteen year old's are always fully aware of the consequences that come with sex, but that doesn't mean I disagree with sex before marriage. I don't think all girls who have sex before marriage are easy, because I myself am not a virgin.
I know I'm not easy or a whore, and I'm certainly no slut; guys and girls both still respect me because I am still a respectable person--not being a virgin doesn't change that. Having sex doesn't make me stupid or any less of a person, but I just couldn't imagine being mentally or emotionally ready to make a decision like losing my virginity at the tender age of 14 or 15.
I think it's a little bit sad the way future generations or denigrating themselves and putting themselves at risk of STDs or teen parenthood. It's something that should be changed, but how? Do we force all people to follow one religion? Do we make a law forbidding sex before marriage?
It's hard to find a solution because there is such a fine line between doing what you think is right and what actually is right.
I have a big problem! I really need a job but I am scared to death of interviews what do I do! I would be happy to hear some advice!
You might be able to try and ask one of your parents or even one of your teachers to set up a mock interview for you; since they will have more life experience, they will probably know the types of questions an interviewer would ask you.
Cheers and good luck on your interview.
As my title says, my friends tend to be really mean to me. We had a free Spanish period today because there was a substitute, and they ignored me the whole time. They were making plans to go shopping for bathing suits, and go snowboarding with each other, and didn't ask me to join them. One of my friends just randomly tells me to shut up, and she thinks it's just a joke. They tell each other stuff and don't tell me, and then they talk about it right in front me. Basically, they treat me horribly, and I really don't need it from them. What am I supposed to do??
I don't think your so-called friends respect you very much. You deserve better than that, especially from people who are supposed to care about you.
You should probably talk to them (preferably individually; I think it would be easier) about how hurtful their behaviour is and ask them to stop. If they don't, then you should probably stop being their friend. You don't need to take their abuse, not even if they say you're friends. Either they stop and prove that they see you as an equal, or they don't and you can ditch them for people who will treat you with respect.
Cheers.
OK, ladies. i just turned 14 and i've been having my period since i was about 13 and a half. im kinda wondering about my breast size. I'm an A cup right now, like i've always been. i havn't felt any breast pain in a few months except ocasionally on my period. I'm really worried that IM NEVER GONNA GET ANY BIGGER!! i asked my mom and she said of course they will grow(shes a large c and was a smaller c before child birth naturally)but im afraid she is just saying that to make me feel better. anyway my question is, are my boobs still growing?
Your breasts will probably get bigger. You've only had your period for about six months (You started at 13 and a Half, you're fourteen now, so that's half a year, right?), so I would say you're really only beginning to develop into a woman. Don't worry about your boob size so much as the person within; don't you think that's more important?
Cheers!
i have tried all kinds of ways to get my self esteem up. but i just cant figure it out. i like myself a little bit more then i used to but not much. i want to love myself so that people can see the confidence in me because they like that. but i dont know how to raise my self esteem. any ideas, advice, whatever? lol
~♥~ Carrie ~♥~
This is going to sound weird, but I suggest it since it worked for me: Smile! You don't have to smile like your looney or retarded, but anytime you meet someone new or you're gonna be put in a new situation, smile and act cheeful. People will warm up to you very quickly!
Cheers!
i have been broken up with my boyfriend since september and we have both pretty much moved on .. i feel like im not ready to start another serious relationship.. i have always liked this kid matt & he is perfect for me but i dont think he knows how i feel .. but there is this kid dave that has always liked me and he treats me like a goddess but for some reason i cant ever like him enough to go out with him... what should i do? be single and go with the flow.. or try to committ to dave?
Don't go out with someone just because they make you feel better. That's cruel to them because you are not as committed as they are. If you don't like him enough to go out with him, then don't. It's not fair to lead him along.
Cheers.
Ok, about a month ago I noticed a small lump around my crotch.. I have just noticed it getting bigger.. Its about 5mm long, and 2mm high.. what do you think it is? could it possibly be cancer? if so.. what sort?
17/m
It's impossible to determine what it is from such a limited description, but even so, the only person who could really tell what it is would be your doctor. Talk to her immediately in case it's something as serious as Cancer.
I had sex with a guy almost 3 weekends ago.. and the condom fell off... i didnt get the morning after pill but my friend said i could just take 3 birth control and it would be the same thing... but i'm afriad! what are some EARLY pregnency signs?! lately i have felt nausaous and i've had spotting... please help...
Your friend is right. The morning afterpill a is a pill with highly concentrated hormones; they will cause you to have your period before the fertilized/unfertilized egg can get attached to the walls of your uterus. These same hormones are in birth control pills.
Spotting and nausea are both signs of pregnancy, though the spotting will happen around 8-10 days after ovulation. Have you had lower abdominal cramps or tenderness in your breasts? Have you had your period? I noticed a lot of people said morning sickness, but this is more toward the second/third month, plus not everyone will have it.
Take an over the counter pregnancy test and talk to your doctor IMMEDIATELY.
And please, for your sake be more careful. Next time the condom falls of, stop. Do not pass go, do not collect 200$.
Take Care.
f/19
My bf and I have been dating for about a month now and he recently told me that he thinks hes in love with me. I'm kind of turned off by that because its so soon. He keeps asking me how I feel and I told him I'm not sure, I'm not in love with him, what should I do.
Honesty is the best policy! Tell him that you're not ready to make that kind of decision, but you know that if given (much) more time, you can love him. Love is a process and it takes time, effort, and work, but if you're both willing to take things step by step, then who knows what good things can happen? And kudos to you for not being stupid and deciding you love him after only a month! That's wisdom!
Cheers!
Sorry this is long.
My stepmother is really scaring me. She really has psychological problems. It started with little things like her moving my stuff, or ripping it up, or being jealous over my mother and father who were still friends at the time. She started coming with my father in the car every time he picked me up because she was so untrusting and thought he'd go off with my mother in that 20 minute time. I don't see them any more because of completely unrelated issues, but we started getting odd stuff through the post about a year or two ago (around when all this odd stuff started happening). Stuff like magazines writing to us saying a friend had referred us and stuff. It got worse; with items actually being ordered and sent to us - pornographic books, clothes catalogues for women over 50 or size 16+, that kind of thing. Around six months ago we recieved a parcel that said 'From Connor' on the back. Connor is my seven year old cousin. The parcel had an 18 rated horror movie in it that had obviously been watched before. We checked with Connor and his mum and they definately did not send this.
Then two nights ago, we got an envelope with 'from Ryan' (my other younger cousin) on the back and a picture of me in a swimming pool inside. We couldn't figure out why Ryan would send me a picture of myself so rang him up but his mother and him both confirmed none of them sent this envelope. The next day (yesterday) we got another one, still saying from Ryan, this time with several parts of pictures - cut out so I was the only one in the picture - of me in the same swimming pool, this time with the fragments of pictures stuck on a piece of purple card. I recognised the pool this time, it's a place I went on holiday with my stepmother and father a couple of years ago.
So, it's obvious it's from my stepmother (who really hates me and my mother, I should add). But I don't know what to do about it. Me and my mother are considering the police, but I;m not sure. I don't want her to be charged or whatever and then get all mad and come after us - because she is psychotic like that. I don't want to have to be part of witness protection or something, and there is a huge possibility that she would keep doing this or doing worse if we accused her of anything. What the hell do we do?
Thanks, and sorry it was so long.
xxx
Talk to your dad! Let him know what's going on--if there's anymore stuff sent to your house, save it as evidence. Talk to your dad privately and tell him you're scared of his wife and you want this harassment to stop--if it doesn't, you may need to get a restraining order.
Also, check the postage stamp on the envelope. What city are your pictures coming from? There may not be a return address, but there should be a stamp verifying which branch of the postal service it came from.
Hey everyone, I was just wondering, I've never really just 'hooked-up' with a guy, meaning the only relationships I've been in, they had something serious part of it. I've never done friends with benefits. I was wondering what are your views on fwb and 'hook-ing/up' like what are the outcomes? benefits? feelings for one another? thanks in advance, i rate well. :--)
Okay! I like your question. :)
I have never really hooked up with anyone until just recently. A friend and I were friend with benefits for about two months, and it was fine. We work together and at first I was afraid it would get weird, but as long as everyone involved acts like responsible adults, then it's a fun thing.
Now, I say we 'were' fwb b/c we are now bf and gf. So, I guess the outcome is a relationship, which is okay. I would be good either way, right now.
I also have another friend who had fwb, and they too ended up going out. It's been a year and some change since that started, so... I guess one thing really does lead to another.
Cheers!
HeY! i'm 16... (17 in 2 months) and i just started going out with a guy whos 20 years old... the thing is.. he thinks i'm turning 18... and i'm scared to tell him... because i dont want to loose him! what should i do?
You should tell him. It's not fair for him to be in a dishonest relationship. If you guys have sex, he could end up going to jail because you didn't tell him the truth.
this is kinda imbarrasing to ask... but i gotta know. i shave down there, ya know? and well sometimes it gets gross. i usually wait like 2 days before doin it again, but i dont know its wierd. and sometimes it even bleeds! OH! and i get these little red bumps. is this normal? is there somethin i can do to make this stop?
thanks in advance!
Sounds like razor burn! If your skin is irritated to the point of bleeding, stop. Try not to shave down there as often and always use a shaving cream with plenty of lather.
Cheers!
ok i wrote a question about the whole shop liftin situation but in case you didnt read it its just about i was caught shopliftin for my friend and blah blah blah thats basically it but i was wonderin if the punishment my parents gaave me was fair,they told me i had no tv no phone the whole 9 yards and im only writin this bc no one is home but the worst punishment is the fact that my bday is tommorow and they said i have no birthday this year....even after my punishment r they bein to harsh?
Shoplifting is a misdemeanor. I can understand why your parents are punishing you this way (and even to an extent agree with them), but if you feel like this is too harsh of a punishment, try talking to your parents. Are you remorseful about shoplifting (as opposed to being remorseful about being caught)? Be sincere and try to work this out, but if your parents are really steamed, don't expect too much.
Stop stealing. It's wrong and you can go to jail for it.
Cheers!
i think i have social anxiety. i have loads of the symptoms from this site i went on, like i'm scared to be anxious, and also when a teacher tells us we can ask for help, i can't, incase anyone is watching or listening and i might make myself look stupid, or something. but the thing is, my mum doesn't believe me, i broke down in tears in the car today and i said i probably have social anxiety (i'm scared because i have to do work experience, i've been placed in an estate agent and i don't want to BE an estate agent). she thinks i'm just shy, but the thing is, on this site it says people will often say you are just shy, but it's worse than that, i do want to be all social but i get scared i'll make a fool out of myself. what can i do about it, cos it's affecting my education and i don't have a social life =( thanks xo
Talk to a doctor, first and foremost. ONLY someone with medical knowledge can diagnose disorders, so while you may or may not have SAD, your physician will know for sure. If this is something you're really concerned about, then tell your mom that you want to see a doctor about this--be insistent, and if she won't do it, then you may have to set an appointment up by yourself.
Cheers.
ok.. so i totally screwed up talking to this guy i liked at skool... see im fine when i talk to guys but i get tooooo shy when i like them. so the plan didnt go so well to tell him that i like him.. and now i feel so embarassed because i was soo shy and im all mad at myself and stuff... soo tomorrow i was debating on weather or not i should go to school and i want to but i dont kno wut i would do or say so if i do go to skool and run into him what do i do or say? or should i not even go to skool? pLEASe HelP!! i rate high!
You'll be fine! I swear. Go to school and be confident when you go. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but don't let it affect school or anything of real importance. If you run into the guy, smile, say hello, and be casual. I know it sounds hard, but just take a deep breath and you can do it. It's starting a conversation that's hard, but once it starts rolling, everything falls into place.
Cheers!
I have this aquaintence that I see on campus from time to time. We went to the same high school. 21/f. We had this class together and some girls were talking about her and being really catty because she has lots of money and she is sorta fake but not offensive. She has never been anything but nice to me. I didn't appreciate that those chicks that didn't even know her were judging her. I still see her every week and I think about that often. Should I say anything or is it just water under the bridge?
There are always going to be catty, bitchy people. You can tell her if this is going to be a huge problem for you, but I don't see any reason behind it. Just be wary of what they say and what they do, but otherwise, it's nothing.