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March 8, 2005Answers:
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Cheers! I enjoy giving advice and I think I'm good at it. Is it pretentious to say I refuse to answer questions about "Love" from people who are under age 16? I don't think love is real when you're 14, and I don't think you can fall in love in a month. I won't dignify that kind of stupidity with an answer. I also won't answer questions with terrible grammar. I just make fun of them on myspace! I know that's not nice, but it's just SO easy. And it's so unfair for me to give them a good, honest answer when they haven't asked a good, proper question. Ask me a real question and I will give you a real answer!
advice
I dont know what to do. My dad lives in Georgia, and I live in Mass., with my mom. Ive been thinking about how much i miss my dad, and how i want to live with him. But, I dont want to leave my mom and my friends here. How should i bring this up, and what should i do?! PLEASE HELP ME!
Why don't you try a trial visit? See if you can arrange a one to two week visit between your mom and your dad; you don't necessarily have to live with him, just visit him once in a while. Technology today has made it much easier to contact our loved ones, so during those times you can't see your dad (or your mom if you decide to move) you can always call, email, or write.
ok.. well mayy 22nd is this crossfade concert that REALLY want to go to. im 13 (f) lol and my mom wont let me go because of the place that its in. its called toads place its in new haven connecticut (kinda ghetto but not really} and i need to convince her to let me go, because she doesnt understand how much that i really want to, their my fav band and blah blah blah.. so what im asking is how can i convince her to let me go? thanks for the help! ashley
Try to reach a compromise; maybe you could go with a friend and their older sibling or something.
ok..i stole a bottle of perfume,earings,keychain,lipgloss,2 rings, (this was formyself) i also helped out my friend steal her stuff and she helped me steal mine. I never stole anything before..and im kinda feeling bad now. the stuff i took was probably worth $15 or $20 altogether. is there a way i can make myself feel better and get rid of he guilt..besides returning it. And is it true that people steal stuf until they get caught? because ii dont want to make a habitt out of this. have any of you stolen anything before?
I'm not sure what you would do to alleviate your guilt, but if anything, I would suggest telling your mom.
It does not need to become a habit, so long as you have enough mental capacity to stop yourself from doing it. The repercussions for stealing can be harsh; it's theft, which you can be arrested and fined for. If you had gotten caught and the shopkeep chose to press charges, you could have gone to prison, paid up to $1000, AND been on probation for the next couple of years.
So is 20 bucks worth of crap worth it?
I'm not going through this but it's out of curiousity.
Some girl told me that she was cutting but that she was only leaving marks in her skin and wasn't getting right down to where it would start bleeding BUT where she marked her self after became swollen for a couple of days and was a red bump.
I asked someone about it and they said it was perfectly safe and should be happy she's doing that rather than actually cutting and someone else told me it's not AS dangerous but she could still do some harm to her self.
I didn't really understand how she could really hurt her self by making marks in her skin that later turned in to bumps so can anyone explain it a bit and/or tell me which person is correct.
thanks :)
While there's really no physical damage thus far, it can escalate into a serious danger to the girl. The worst damage, however, will be within her psyche. Cutting yourself is not normal; she sounds like she may need psychological and emotional help.
This is a VERY long story so bear with me.
My father got re-married about three years ago. The woman he married, Karen, was perfectly nice until their wedding day, when she did a total Jekyll and Hyde (sp?) and went totally psycho. She started taking my stuff, hiding it or ripping it up, but never admitting that it was her. For a couple of years now my father's side of the family accused me of making it all up. However, about a year ago now, Karen sent a completely bitchy email, the details of which I won't bother going in to, which meant I stopped seeing her and my father's side of the family. Since then she has sent many more nasty texts and emails accusing me of all sorts and threatening to take the child benefit away from my mother, etc etc etc (I am aware that she couldn't legally do this).
Recently, her 'psycho stuff' has become a lot worse. She started sending odd letters - the address on the envelope disguised as a child's writing and saying on the back of the envelope, 'from Ryan' (Ryan is my younger cousin). Inside would be photographs of me, often cut up so I am the only one in the picture, and stuck onto a background of coloured card or paper. We knew she must be sending these because she is the only one, other than my father, with the access to these particular photographs (me on holiday with my father and Karen).
So, my (paternal) Nan confronted her and Karen has admitted that she sent the letters. She says it is because my father goes to work away a lot and she gets 'bored'. I personally feel that that doens't even qualify as an excuse to do what she has done - for weeks we had been terrified of who these letters were from, and I'm still scared to go out of the house (even into my backgarden) on my own incase she is lurking around.
Karen has since written a letter of apology to my mother's parents. WHY she sent it to them, I have no idea. My grandad doesn't want to take any further action, but there is no way that I am just sitting here and taking 'I was bored' as an excuse for putting my family through all the crap she has over the years (I have only mentioned a small amount of what she has done here). But what can I do?
She begged my grandad to NOT tell me and my mother that it was her who had sent the letters, but of course we know because WE figured it out in the first place. So, I think that if I do do anything, she will think my grandad has told me she did it, or my mother has put me up to doing whatever I would do. That means she might well hurt my grandad or my mother (I wouldn't put it past her - please no-one reply saying 'she wouldn't do that' because you don't know this woman. I do).
My mother thinks that I deserve an apology, not only from Karen but from all of my father's family for not believing me in the first place, but to me, 'sorry' just wouldn't cut it. 'Sorry' isn't a big enough word to make everything she has done go away. But what can I do? I know I could go to the police but my grandad doesn't think I should take any further action and I don't want to hurt or disappoint him. But on the other hand, there is NO WAY I am taking 'I am bored' as her reason.
There is also the problem that she doesn't know that me and my mother know she is the one who sent the letters. My father also doesn't know a THING about the letters yet, and although I don't get on with him, I want him to know - I'd want to know if my wife was doing something like that.
So, in summary, my question is: What can I do? Because there is no way I will do nothing. And how do I let Karen know that I know what she did? What else could I 'get out' of her other than an apology, something I don't want as I know it would mean nothing (she's already apologised to my grandparents, as I said, but that was only to stop them telling my father).
Sorry this was so long, and thanks in advance for any help. I'm fifteen, female, and don't see any of my father's family other than my Nan, if that helps.
xxx
I think I read your other post on this one. Am I correct?
You're absolutely right; boredom is not an excuse. There is no justification for that kind of psychotic, immature behaviour. Even if you and your father do not get along, he is your father, and you are thereby at least partially his responsibility. Thus, he should be told (and chastised) for not watching these matters more carefully in the first place. You are entitled the right to safety and freedom of peace of mind, especially in your own home; even if your father doesn't live with you, it's his job to make sure you are safe and free (at least until you're 18).
I think you should talk to your grandfather and your Nan. Explain to them how hurtful it was for everyone to suddenly exclude you from their lives--even if Karen is your dad's new wife, you are his child. Long after they divorce or die, his blood, and theirs, will run through YOUR veins and not hers.
Demand an apology from your father's family; I know it does not suffice, but it's a step. Perhaps after all this, you may not even want to talk to them anyway.
You need to have your grandad and Nan tell your dad the truth, and you need to let Karen know that you figured out she was the culprit. Give her fair forewarning: next time she tries to pull this kind of misconduct, you'll be ready with a restraining order (or, you could possibly file a restraining order now) and a police report on the grounds of harrassment and intimidation. Talk to you family attorney; gather as much evidence as you have along with your grandad's testimony. I understand that he doesn't want to push this farther, and it need not go any farther, but you need to be prepared to take action in case Karen begins harrassing you again.
Does age really matter when your falling in love? I'm fourteen and I would like to think anything is possible. I've been dating this guy for a short period of time but it has felt different than anything other than before. On this chain letter thing, and I know this sounds so stupid, but I made a wish to fall in love with him. My friends hate the fact that this guy and I are together, but for the first time I couldn't care less what my friends think. What do you think, is it possible?
While it's possible, I wouldn't count on it. At such a young age, one has not really come to experience the world and all it has to offer; even if you were two years older, I would still have my doubts. There are so many things that you learn and discover as you're growing older, so I see no need to rush such a large decision.
Just be careful with yourself.
there is someone who keeps logging on to my screen name! I think its one of my friends but everytime i ask her she denies it! the last question "i" asked i think she did. u kno the acting question. That question is totally inaccurate! I stink at acting let alone boast about it. She is in my acting class too so thats why i think its her. What do you think i can do about her cuz she wont admit it???
~Dani~
Change your password! Your "friend" is pretty immature and fairly annoying if she's doing petty shit like that. Change your password and let her know that even though she's denying the truth, it's damn obvious to anyone with two braincells.
I have dark brown hair, it kind of looks black. People say I can't dye it blonde, but I kind of want to since people believe they can stop me. My skin has a natural tan, if that matters. My friend said I could dye my eyebrows to match. What do you think?
I think you shouldn't cut off your nose to spite your face. Just because other people say it can't be done, doesn't mean it can't be done, but sometimes it just shouldn't be. However, if you feel that strongly about making such a dramatic change, then you should do it. Just make sure you're doing it because you want, and not just cuz everyone says you shouldn't. If it seems like too harsh of a change (which I think it would be; I have dark hair myself and I couldn't imagine bleaching it blonde), then try out highlights or bleach your bangs first. You may want to lighten your eyebrows, but keep them a few shades darker than how light you're going to dye your hair.
Take it easy.
hey I am soo good at acting and im in an improv group in ft.collins! AndI mean really good better than every one else in my group. people always laugh at what I say they laugh at what I do they always shake heir head and whisper in the other persons ear. I know they think im soooooooo much better than them. And when I was acting with this guy I said something hilarious and he looked that omg that was the dumbest thing i've ever heard! But I know he's just jelious. And How do I stop this jeliousy off all these people of my acting ability?
You come across pompous and arrogant; I hope your so-called acting abilities are better than your grammar and punctuation.
I need to get in shape for this summer-like so bad..I've tried almost everything..Dieting and crunches didn't help..eating less and less didn't help..Not eating for almost a whole day didn't help..and I couldn't really keep up with the eating healthy thing..I just want to look greeaattt in a bikini for this summer..Does anyone know any ways to get in shape? Thanks
Exercise. Do lots and lots of cardio to burn your fat; crunches help, but that basically builds the muscle under the fat--which doesn't mean a damn thing if you can't see it.
Don't not eat; this will slow your metabolism and make it even harder to burn fat. If you don't eat, you'll lose your muscle content, not your fat. Don't expect a miracle when it comes to getting in shape; it takes time and effort, and it will not happen within 2 days. If you lose 30 lbs in two days, chances are it's mostly water, not fat, and will come back.
what does NCAA and NIT stand for?
National Collegiate athletic Association and (I guess) the National Invitation Tournament.
I need some advice. I am 18 and going to move out in the summer with some friends. If you are saying i am too young you dont understand the situation i am in. I dont want to go to college, i will later in life i just cant now. I cannot live in my house any longer and must leave. I just need to know if you have any idea on the costs. I know rent already i just need utility prices. If you have any idea on the prices of utilities for a 2 bedroom trailer please let me know, or any other expenses for the matter. Thank You.
I moved out at 18. It's hard, but doable. Utilities can be anywhere from 30-50 each; that means 30 for cable, 50 for electricity, and maybe 40 for gas. Something like that. Don't forget about your phone bill (17$ if you only call locally), your cell (if you have one), car payments/insurance (again, only if you have a car), water (30), and gas (let's say around 35). Food is somewhere in there, but I think that's it.
THIS IS PRETTY LONG AND BORING....
Im 20m and never had a girlfriend!!!I never even hold or kiss a girl before.... It's not that im ugly or gay, although im not the cute or handsome type either. When i was in high school there were a few girls that come up to me but they weren't my type so i refused them all. But the girl that was my type, i never had the courage to ask them out (im very shy around the girl i like). Now that i drop out of college and work fulltime, i dont have the chance of meeting new people. HOW AM I GOING TO GET A GF? I dont hang out that much and i had never step foot in a club before. Here's the weird thing, the older i get the pickier i am about girlfriend. I thought that not having a gf is suppose to make me desperate, but im not, although i do want a gf pretty bad. What make it worse is that i dont like party girls or girls that would go out with someone that just met and thought he is kinda cute, of course there is nothing wrong with that, im just being picky. I would like to get to know the girl a lil bit before i go out with her, but HOW AM I GOING TO DO THAT????
There's nothing wrong with having standards, first of all. All those other guys are kinda scummy for taking any thing they can get, you know? Just be glad that you haven't been with someone you don't actually like--it'll save you time and effort. Even if you're still a virgin and such, I still don't see it as a big issue. Your sexual status is completely your business, and if anyone ever asks why it took you "so long" to lose your virginity, just say you were waiting for the right girl. (Then, bat your eyelashes provacatively. Just kidding.)
Secondly, if you want a girl, keep your eyes peeled! You can meet a girl almost anywhere! Work, through friends, the gym... almost anywhere you go. You could probably go to Disneyland and pick up phone numbers, for goodness sake.
Be sure to not judge someone by their looks alone, but by who they are. Surely you can find a girl who you like both inside and out? And I understand when you say you want to be with someone who will actually get to know you a bit before you're with them--this is a pretty intelligent way of going about things, actually. However, there's nothing wrong with going out on a date with a girl you've met, is there? What rule says you have to automatically be a boyfriend to someone's girlfriend? You're young--date!
As for being shy, sometimes, you just gotta push yourself out of your comfort zone. Seven times out of ten, if you like a girl and she likes you, she will NOT ask you out. I don't know why, but it's true. Most girls are just not that comfortable with putting themselves on a limb. But back to my main point: if you like a girl, ask her out! Even if she turns you down, it'll be good practice for you; how else do you think you'll get ahead in life? Are you supposed to wait till stuff just gets handed to you, or are you supposed to go out and get it for yourself?
So, I wish you luck.
I want to tone my stomach. I know how to do crunches for my upper abs, but my lower abs are just not getting toned. does anyone know any great workouts for your lower abs, or maybe even upper and lower combined? Also, i heard that your not supposed to do crunches everyday, basically for the same reason u should lift weights everyday, is it the same thing and is this true? Thanks so much. I rate high.
Bottom line: if you're flabby, the best thing to do is cardio. It will burn the fat away. If you're already thin though, and you want to build your lower ab muscles, try this:
Lie flat on your back and lift your legs about 6 inches off the ground, heels apart. From here, you move your legs apart (keep them up) and back together (Similar to scissors, I suppose). You can also bring your legs in, toward your body, but again, keep your heels apart and off the ground. It's hard, but effective.
Lifting weights every other day is generally a good idea as it'll give your body time to "heal" itself. That doesn't mean you should slack off on your free days; just do some good cardio in between weights.
Good luck
Does anyone know any good suspense, mystery, horror, or drama boks. Im not goth or anything they're just my favorite types of books. I also like comedy. So if anyone knows any good (those type) books please suggest them to me!
I rate!
Read the Da Vinci code. That book has been on the NewYork Best Sellers list (in hardback) for nearly two years--that has got to say something. It's a good mystery/suspense novel.
okay to start off i know i am not FAT. but i am 4 foot 11 inches and weight about 105. and i dont care what the scale says i care about the way i look. being so short for my age and having a regular appetite for my age doesnt help. i play 2-3 sports but i know i dont eat very healthy. i just dont like the way my stomach looks...my friends all say i am fine but really they are my friends what are they going to say?....
please tell me if you think i am just exaggerating or i should eat healthier/exercise more but PLEASE do it nicely...(i.e: dont swear and call me an idiot)
You weight may be low, but your body to fat ratio is off, I'm guessing. Do lots of cardio--stuff that will get you pumped. Not only will you have more energy as time goes by, but you will shed that fat.
There's this girl at my school who's a total bitch and talks about everyone. She always says nasty things about people who aren't just like her and thinks she's so much better than everyone. Just the other day she was making fun of a guy that's in a wheelchair & in the hospital because he's having problems with his lungs. She said "wow what a retard... Why are we wasting our time talking about him?" like it was some big joke. People told her that was REALLY mean but she burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.
She also found out that me & my friend said something about her.. Now she yells shit at us in the halls & even drew on a picture of us in a classroom. I'm so sick of her acting so childish. We'll both tell her to grow up & get a life but she just keeps on doing it & dragging other people into it. It's getting so irritating and really getting to me.
What am I supposed to do? I can't just ignore it anymore.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is fight fire with fire. I'm no advocate of violence, nor anything of the like, but sometimes there is just no talking to people. Next time she says calls you a name, tell her to Shut the Fuck Up. Say it slowly, say it seriously, and say nothing more. If you do it in just the right way, you might be able to stun her long enough to put her on blast.
Whatever you do though, remember that these highschool games are ALL about control. If you control yourself, then you can steer the conversation.
Does anybody have any cool, inexpensive ideas that i could do to my room? My comforter now is purple green and blue..im not getting a new comforter. Thanks
Get purple, green, and blue curtains; you can change them around to match your comforter. Paint and stain your furniture to something you would enjoy; in highschool, I painted all of my drawers and things with black and white checkerboard boards--it was fun, but after a while, your eyes need rest. Try rearranging furniture around or getting shelves.
Try looking at stuff from hgtv.com and the like--they should help.
Okay so I went to this party last night and this guy that was there was like "why the hell are YOU here?" because I'm straight edge and I don't do drugs and stuff.. And he kept insulting me and saying crap and it really pissed me off because we have mutual friends and he thinks I'm a "loser" because I don't do drugs and drink and have sex and stuff.. So what should I do to keep myself from kicking his ass? because he's really really starting to piss me off.. And I'm going to have to deal with him for a really long time.. So yeah.. Sorry if this is long.
Next time you're at a party, have some clever repartee! Tell him off, for sure. You have just as much of a right to be there as he does, and if he has a problem, he can't stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Just because his life is so boring that he has to fill it with drugs and booze doesn't mean the rest of us are so inclined.
ok this is weird for me just to say out of nowhere, but i'm Mexican. ok where do i start? ok, my parents are kind of racist. they are always making fun of my white friend (of course not in front of her face) and think my other friend is weird just because she is black. my other friend is asian and they don't want me to be her friend. actually, my whole school is full of racist kids and they think a lot of the same things as my parents, since about 90% of my school is mExican. anyway, its not just my friends, my parents are totally judging everything i do and say i'm turning into some kind of white girl or something. when i lsten to rap songs, they tell me "dont be listening to those black songs. they use bad language and send the wrong message to people." i get really mad at my parents for being like that, but they tell me its for my own good and they want me to stay mexican. does that make any sense to you? because i don't get it at all. i guess what they mean is that, since i learned english when i was 3, listen to almost all english songs, and almost never speak spanish, they think i'm forgetting my roots, but that is sooo not true!!! it's not like i can just stop being mexican! anyway, they are trying to get me to be "more mexican" by pushing away eveything else and being racist. the other day i was listening to the radio and eminem's "mockingbird" came on and my dad got mad and told me that he doesn't want me listening to that crap. i honestly felt like hitting him...but he's my dad.why are my parents so mean and racist and am i really to blame for "not being a real mexican"?
Talk to your parents and explain to them everything you just said here: You are still connected with your roots, and it's not like you can become "unMexican." There's nothing wrong with branching out of where you are and learning more about other people and their cultures--or vice versa. Ask them to give your friends a chance and to not judge people by their appearances--how would they feel if someone else's parents did it to you? Wouldn't they be absolutely outraged?
Tell them that you love them, which I know you do, and it's hard for you to understand why they feel this way; nothing you do or say will make you less Mexican. You will still be the same girl no matter what, you'll still love your parents no matter what, and that you don't want to make them angry. You just want to have a broader circle of friends because you want to be openminded and fair (something maybe your parents should work on).
And sometimes you have to give and take; if your padres feel like you aren't really in touch with your roots, then maybe you should try more. Ask about your family tree or try picking up on speaking more Spanish at home. Do something cultural with your family or cook some Mexican food with your mom. You could do anything, really, and it would not only strengthen your sense of self, but also build stronger relationships with your family.
Of course, sometimes parents aren't willing to change their stances on people no matter what. If that's the case, then you'll just have to learn your lessons from your parents.
Good luck.