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mean and racist parents..long, but i need help dealing


Question Posted Sunday March 13 2005, 4:16 pm

ok this is weird for me just to say out of nowhere, but i'm Mexican. ok where do i start? ok, my parents are kind of racist. they are always making fun of my white friend (of course not in front of her face) and think my other friend is weird just because she is black. my other friend is asian and they don't want me to be her friend. actually, my whole school is full of racist kids and they think a lot of the same things as my parents, since about 90% of my school is mExican. anyway, its not just my friends, my parents are totally judging everything i do and say i'm turning into some kind of white girl or something. when i lsten to rap songs, they tell me "dont be listening to those black songs. they use bad language and send the wrong message to people." i get really mad at my parents for being like that, but they tell me its for my own good and they want me to stay mexican. does that make any sense to you? because i don't get it at all. i guess what they mean is that, since i learned english when i was 3, listen to almost all english songs, and almost never speak spanish, they think i'm forgetting my roots, but that is sooo not true!!! it's not like i can just stop being mexican! anyway, they are trying to get me to be "more mexican" by pushing away eveything else and being racist. the other day i was listening to the radio and eminem's "mockingbird" came on and my dad got mad and told me that he doesn't want me listening to that crap. i honestly felt like hitting him...but he's my dad.why are my parents so mean and racist and am i really to blame for "not being a real mexican"?

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Sunday March 13 2005, 4:19 pm:
ok its long as it is, but here's 2 more things:how can i deal with this? i can't just yell at them that it's wrong because they ARE my parents, but it IS wrong, embarrassing, and enfuriating.i'll rate 5's for every HELPFYL answer, and 4's for evey answer with a simple opinion..

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nocturnalkid answered Monday March 14 2005, 3:42 pm:
Talk to your parents and explain to them everything you just said here: You are still connected with your roots, and it's not like you can become "unMexican." There's nothing wrong with branching out of where you are and learning more about other people and their cultures--or vice versa. Ask them to give your friends a chance and to not judge people by their appearances--how would they feel if someone else's parents did it to you? Wouldn't they be absolutely outraged?

Tell them that you love them, which I know you do, and it's hard for you to understand why they feel this way; nothing you do or say will make you less Mexican. You will still be the same girl no matter what, you'll still love your parents no matter what, and that you don't want to make them angry. You just want to have a broader circle of friends because you want to be openminded and fair (something maybe your parents should work on).

And sometimes you have to give and take; if your padres feel like you aren't really in touch with your roots, then maybe you should try more. Ask about your family tree or try picking up on speaking more Spanish at home. Do something cultural with your family or cook some Mexican food with your mom. You could do anything, really, and it would not only strengthen your sense of self, but also build stronger relationships with your family.

Of course, sometimes parents aren't willing to change their stances on people no matter what. If that's the case, then you'll just have to learn your lessons from your parents.

Good luck.

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rememberxforever answered Sunday March 13 2005, 8:32 pm:
well you can't yell at your parents because they seem pretty stuck in there ways and you probably dont want to get in trouble. i think you are doing the right thing though being friends with all these groups of people. your parents just need to realize that sikin color doesnt make the person. just TRY to ignore what they say or if you have a good relationship with one of your parents tell them why it makes you so mad when they make fun of your friends of a different race....if you cant do that i would say just try living your life the best you can and dont let rasism spoil it.

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Sp0iLeD_SheDeViL answered Sunday March 13 2005, 8:14 pm:
I think your parents are just really proud of their roots.My dad is italian, so he only wants me to date italian guys, and he wants me to appreciate that side of my heritage and stuff, even though i don't think of it as that big of a deal.Just tell your parents that america is full of different races and customs and you just have to learn to be around people who are different.But don't expect them to change overnight, and even if they don't change their views, it doesn't mean you can't be friends with whoever you want, it's your choice and they can't change your beliefs no matter how hard they try.


♥ashley♥

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LiSaxOBaBii answered Sunday March 13 2005, 6:20 pm:
Tell your parents that there are some good people in this world and not all of them are Mexican. They are from different races too. Tell them, that you're in America and there are going to be a huge range of races and you need to be open and accepting. Let them know that you would like to be accepted by others so you are willing to accept where others are from. Say, since you are in America you want to be free and listen to what you want, hang out with who you want..etc. As long as you don't get into trouble I really don't see a problem.

LiSa*

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icey0990 answered Sunday March 13 2005, 5:48 pm:
No of course your not to blame for "not being a real mexican" according to your parents. All of this is your parent's problem..how they are racist..and they put it on you which isnt fair at all. There are a few ways you can deal with this
(A) Talk to your parents and tell them ..its one thing if they are going to be racist..but your a seperate person and you arent racist. Tell them they can associate with who they want..but when you have friends over they need to be respectful. Tell them you dont want to hear any more racist remarks because you dont thnk its right. Ask them "dont you want to know whats going on in my life? who my friends are,what i listen to, my girlfriends, who im with, etc??" LEt them know if they arent going to control their racism then you will have to shut them out of your social life. They wont get to see your dates,friends, etc.
(B) After talking to them if it doesnt work, then i guess you can work around them. Maybe only invited mexicans over..and when you hang with your other friends..go to their house or go to the movies or something.

Its a sucky situation your in..but you DEFINATEEY arent to blame. This is a problem your parents have..although i know how much you want to hit them and scream at them...it wont do anything. You just have to deal with their racism (unless that talk works) and you just remember your your own person and im happy that just because they are racist..you arent.

-melissa-

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DolphinNina answered Sunday March 13 2005, 5:02 pm:
Oiy Do you're 'rents need a news flash
Of course you can't out of the blue yell and scream at them but try learning a really really annoying song or whatever and just singing it in spanish over and over and over and when they ask you to be quiet tell them that thay said that you were forgeting your roots. But this might not work for your 'rents so if this dosen't help I really sorry and (no offense) your parents are really mean.

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