to start off thanks for your advice
I do want to add we live together with my five year old son we dont fight often but when he does get in these spells which is like every 3-4 months he gets short n snappy then when I do say something that he does not like or feels like I should not to him a certain way he gets upset quickly n tells me to leave him alone and when I try to talk about it with him it seems it only makes things worse to the point where he is telling shhh or leave him alone or last resort calling me a dumb bitch to make me cry. so at that point Ive learned the only way to resolve his pissy moment is to give him some space then grovel after a couple of hrs I tried what you suggested before and he does not fold at all he sticks with "oh you know why im upset" and just waits for me to grovel which I have no idea what I said to make him upset its pretty funny cause besides that our relationship is great he gets mad over literally nothing and I think to myself y is he getting upset over something so little cause couples fight over bigger issues then what he is whining about he is just so machismo so to what you advised me of ealier I cannot just leave him cause we live together do u have any other advice
From now on, when he says something rude. Don't say anything. Just stand up and walk away and get busy doing something else. Talk to a friend on the phone (DO NOT TALK ABOUT HIM) or go for a walk. Don't give him an attitdue that's what's he expects. Whenever he's rude to you and you honestly feel like he meant to be rude, ignore it and pretend he didn't say it. Do that for a couple days, and let me know what happens. :) Good luck. DO NOT GROVEL. No one should be groveling in this relationship. He gets bored with the same fight and you groveling routine. You stay positive. Keep your head up and be confident. Because you need to look out for you right now. Half of your attention should be spent paying attention to yourself. The other half should be your relationship. So you need to do things based on what YOU feel, not what he feels. You two must be equal. When and if he asks why you're doing what I advised, tell him you only accept positive and you no longer pay attention to the negative things.
[view]
My fiancée and I have been together for almost 5 years. A year ago we had a beautiful child. Our relationship is great, he makes me happy and he's a great father. Before I got pregnant our sexual relationship was great, zero complaints. Then I had our daughter and the sex drive I once had is completely gone. We have sex maybe once every three months. It's physically painful and he almost acts like thats an excuse I use to get out of sleeping with him. This has been like this for over a year. I've told him numerous times that he isn't the problem, it's me. I feel like maybe I need to see a doctor. The last thing I want to do is have him leave me because we aren't sleeping together. Every time we talk about it always ends up in a fight and then we don't talk for days. I just need some advice on what to do.. Thank you to anyone who helps.
Go to the doctor. And, do different things for him. Oral sex, play with him. You don't have to have physical sex. You can have outersex. Like humping or rubbing. And let him know that you're going to see what's going on with your vagina.
[view]
it seems like every 3 to 4 months he gets pissy I cant say anything without him taking it out of context and then flipping things around it seems as if he is bipolar.when he does get upset he goes a week without talking to me almost as if he is waiting for me to grovel to him and when I give him a couple of hours then grovel to him he is better but then I feel upset cause Im sure I did nothing to hurt his feelings he sort of makes me feel like i am crazy. So the question that I have is when he tells me to leave him alone or calls me a dumb bitch just so I can cry do I just stay quite and distant myself untill he comes around or do I wait awhile then go grovel to him for something I am not even sure what I am saying sorry for. Oh and also he is very machismo he says I need to watch how I talk to him and what I said was "oh im going to start being nice to all the cashiers like you haha" thats quote on quote and if you were curious I am 27 he is 31 we have been together for 3 years so any advice would def help me because oviously I have no one to talk to about my issues I greatly appreciate ant advice. :-)
The reason he's doing this is because you let him. He likes to see you grovel. It makes him feel good. That is absoultely not okay. So next time he screws up you make him do the groveling. If you want this relationship to work, you need to stand your ground and DO NOT CALL. Do not miss. Do not talk to him. When he comes back, and believe me, I was in a relationship like this many times before, he will finally knock it off. When he repeats doing it, break it off with him again, letting him know how he screwed up. You treat me like shit, he'll come back. It may take a couple months. It may only take a couple days. But the point is, you need to make him want to come back. It's a chase thing. Guys love to play it. If you want it to work, you gotta do it.
[view]
ok today i started using tampons...and i left my tampon in for 2 hours.i know it says 4-8 hors but i was curious. when i went to pull it out it hurt.i tugged at it slowly and finally got it out. is this normal?
It may not be far enough in. But when I was a virgin and put tampons in that was painful. Now it doesn't hurt at all. You have to leave it in longer than two hours if you don't have a heavy flow. If it's just a little bit it may hurt coming out. Don't over do the time it's in, dangerous, but do pay attention to it.
[view]
Nope , He Keeps All His Messages And Calls Open And iiOnly Knoee Because iiUsed To Take His Exs Phone Too .
Look, if you have a problem with this relationship, END IT. The relationship you need to look out for is one where you don't question things. You're questioning it with this guy because he's not for you. Stay with him, stuck with drama. Leave, free of drama, a chance to find someone else.
[view]
Me and this guy have been hanging out for a little while now and Im starting to think that he's just hanging out with me because he wants in my pants. He tried having sex with me once already and I said no, and then another time he was over and said we should after my friend fell asleep.. I wasn't going to do that but I have a hard time saying straight up no to people so I acted upset/not in the mood so he'd stop trying to kiss me (I was kind of upset because of it) I'm a virgin still, I do want to have sex but not unless I have some kind of comitment atleast, I don't want to have sex with someone and then them just stop talking to me. He doesn't know that though, I haven't explained why I haven't done anything with him and I don't know if I even should. I don't know if/how to turn him down. I don't want to scare him away or anything because I like habging out with him, I just kinda wanna say "if you're just hanging out with me to get in my pants you might as well give up..'' but I don't have the guts to say something like that. I just wish he'd get to know me to see that I'm actually a cool person and maybe we could date and THEN if we actually liked eachother have sex..not when we don't know eachother that well and who knows if he's sleeping around with other girls while he's trying to get with me. Anyways, what do I do? Lol
18/F
You barely know the guy and he's trying to sleep with you. Yeah no he doesn't give a shizz about you. Sorry to be so straight forward, but it's the truth. That's all he wants. Is in your pants. You shouldn't even WANT to get with that ever. Yeah he's probably sleeping with other girls and I have no doubt in my mind. Next time he tries STAND UP for yourself. If he can't take you being honest and telling him to knock it off then he wasn't worth it in the first place. There are other people in this world that you could hang out that are cooler than he is. You just look him in the eye and say " I am in no way interested in having sex with you. I just want to be friends, if that's even possible." Then you're leaving him with the choice. If he does stick aorund that I'd say he's worth it and hopefully stops trying to sleep with you. If he stops hanging out with you there are things that are way worse that could happen to you. I'm 19 and I have two kids. You have no idea how much I wish I wouldn't have lost my virginity. I miss just worrying about me. Being free. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but I know I'd have moved forward a while ago if I hadn't had any children. So keep your virginity. Wait until you're married if you can. Don't let a guy that's not even going to give you a second thought come in between you and your future. It's just not worth it.
[view]
Okay, so I just recently posted the question about the girl named Allison 13/f and James 15/m. Well, James moved again so we broke up. :/ Anyways, this guy named Jaylen 14/m has asked me out and tells me he loves me. But it is kinda awkward because he is like a brother to me. I told him yes, but it is weird.. I don't know what to do. Also, there is this guy named Jordan 16/m who has been trying to make out with him. Which we have already done before... So, thanks :)
Can I ask if you're attracted to "Jordan"? Obviously you aren't attracted to Jaylen because you don't know it, but you are going to friend zone him. You make sure he understands why you broke up with him, and that you just want to be friends. You don't want to ruin a friend ship that you could have saved because you felt like giving it a shot.
[view]
I've Been 3 Seconds Away From Fighting Her But He Always Pulls Me Away .... I've Cussed He Out And We Even Exchange Phones For 3 Days At A Time .... But She Won't Stop !
You do need to be careful with what's going on here. Behind your back he could be sweet talking her you don't know. Because if he said to stop texting anyone would stop unless they're totally nuts like Jerry Springer nuts. But that's the only reason I can think of. Does he delete his text message history and his call log history ever?
[view]
There is this girl that I like..and I said that i would go to her volleyball state championship game. I promised her that i would go, but i still did not go. Now she is not happy with me. What do I do to get us back on the same page???
Is this a serious question!? If you didn't want to make her mad you should have NEVER promised her in the first place. And apology is not going to work. Take it from a girls perspective. She's thinking that she wasn't worth it for you to come to a stupid vollyball game. You couldn't make time out of your day to do it. You broke a promise to her and that loses trust. You have ruined it and YOU have to figure out how to make it better. You can't just do what you did and expect her to be on the same page as you, she has no idea why you skipped ahead anyhow. She thought you were on the same page with her, and then you said you would do something you didn't do and broke a promise you made to her. Make it up to her and take her out to dinner. Go see a movie without putting your hands all over her, or hitting on her. Just be there for her and NEVER break a promise. We take that stuff seriously.
[view]
12/F well I have a 18 year old boyfriend and he wanted to have sex and I'm to scared that if I say no he won't love me anyway now he's always expecting me to have sex with him and when I don't want to he asks me if I don't love him anymore and he has naked pictures of me and I don't know how he got them what must I do(my mom doesn't know about our relationship)
I have to be frank with you. He doesn't love you. I've been in this situation before, and he left because I wouldn't have sex with him. I never did understand what I did wrong, but now that I'm older I realized that he was a sicko and I have no feelings towards that guy anymore. I don't even know him now. And I'm okay with that. I'm finally happy. I have a nice guy that waited with me. He was a virgin too. We lost our virginities together. I'm now 19 and we're still together. If he loved you, he wouldn't even ask if you wanted to have sex. Really, what you should do is call the police. Because he could have raped you if he wanted to. He's 18 and he obviously didn't care that you were a kid. You're not even a teenager yet.
[view]
That's From What iiSee ....
Then I suppose you just answered your own question. You forgive him instantly, which is how you know you love him. But honestly, you need to stand up for yourself. He needs help and if he doesn't get it, then that's him saying, this relationship is NOT worth it.
[view]
ok so my ex boyfriend wants me back and these other 2 guys like me which way do i go
I know it sounds cliche but what does your heart say. Sometimes when we desperately want to make a decision, it makes it all the more hard because your heart stays with each person so you're stuck. One way that I did it once, was I held out two pictures, of the guys I was stuck between. (Since you have three you're going to first have to decide which one you aren't as attracted to.) I dropped a random picture, just let one go. When I let that one go, I dropped the other one, and picked up the first. It make me realize who was more important to me. But you need to make a decision fast because this isn't fair to all the guys here.
[view]
He Doesn't Tecnically Have His Ex Around She Bugs Him Like Crazy Texts Him And Tries Talking To Him . He Never Texts Back And when She Tries Talking He Walks Away .
Is that from what YOU see, or what he tells you?
[view]
I Really Love The Guy I'm With Right Now But I'm Scared His Ex Is Going To Try And Stick Her Nose In Our Relationship . And I've Been Heart Broken From A Relationship For A Year And Don't Want That To Happen Again . What Am I Supposta Do ????'
Any man that still has his ex around, has his ex around for a reason. You're second to that ex, if he's telling her everything. So that being said, ditch the zero and get with a hero.
[view]
I just recently made a post about my boyfriend of over a year. To explain quickley he has been attempting to cheat on me for the whole relationship, lies to me, flirts with other women and says hes single when he's not. My question now is Im still having trouble figuring out what to do, I cant trust him but I am really trying too because he swears he wont do it again he wont hurt me anymore. BUT during the weekend we had a huge might, it started when we were grocery shopping over a minor little think like pancake mix. He asked me if I wwanted some, I said if you want some sure. He blew up and stormed off down the eisle. When I asked him what was wrong he got into a rant about how I can never make decisions and how I do and say things wrong. I couldnt believe it he made me feel worthless within seconds! :( Later on that night I couldnt say anything to him without him getting upset with me so finally I decided to take some quiet time and not bother him. Well he got mad that I wasnt paying attention to him and stormed off to the bedroom. I went to talk to him and he started yelling at him how I cant give him time alone, how I am always there. I said ok I will leave you alone then, all he said was F*** YOU!! over and over. He has never swore at me but his temper seems to be getting alot worse latley.
I asked him why he is getting so upset with me over minor little things and he told me it is because he has all this bottled up anger and he doesnt know how to deal with it. He went on and on about how this was hurting him and how he was worried that it was making him sick. But he never once said anything about worrying about how he was treating me. All he said was this was the reason he was treating me like s*** and all I can do is deal with it until he figures things out. Another thing that I have found out is that when he has a problem with something or someone he will complain to no end and when he says he will confront the person he really doesnt. Instead he goes to them and puts all the blame on me and makes himself look good. My roomate told me this when he had a talk to him about helping out more with bills. My boyfriend made it out to be all my idea and that all I do is complain about my roomate. Thats not the case at all!
So I am starting to feel really sad and run down. Depressed....I feel like he get enjoyment out of bringing me down....am I wrong to feel this way?? What should I do I just dont know what to say to him anymore without upsetting him...
I stopped reading halfway through. I'm going to tell you this once. And this is the best that can be done. You need to look him in the eye and say, "You have all of this bottled up anger, and I'm tired of you taking it out on me. So either you get some counciling of some sort, or we're done. You will NOT treat me like crap any longer." It might be hard for you to break up with him. But, if it was meant to be, he'll come back. Men are very stubborn. And they're like children. You have to give them choices, and spell things out for them. He can't change unless he wants to. And the first step of wanting to change, is seeking help.
[view]
I am making thirteen in three days and i havent had my first period. I am kind of scared and all my friends already started. I have all the symptoms and my mom started when she was thirteen
I get this question all the time. And I'm going to give you the answer I give each time. Everyone is different. And it's perfectly normal to not have had it yet. Even if your mom had it at a certain age, doesn't mean that you will have it at the same age. You SHOULDNT worry if you haven't gotten your period right away becaues that may not be the first thing you're getting. There's pubic hair, and breasts. You get get them all at the same time but you won't ever know what's coming first. You SHOULD worry if you still haven't had your period around the age of 17. If you haven't yet, and you're 17 you should call a doctor because it could be serious.
[view]
My name is David and I have a girlfriend named Tiana and where both 16 and are both virgins.
Just to let you guys know me and Tiana used to be best friends for 4 years and now we've been together for 3 months and I know that I truly Love her and she means the world to me.
Tiana is the kind of girl who is sometimes insecure about herself ( idk she is very beautiful ).
About a week ago she asked me if I wanted to make Love to her. I asked her "are you sure you want to do this?" And she said yes so we where kissing eachother, I was taking my shirt off when out of nowhere she started crying and mean CRYING. She told me she wasn't ready but she didn't want me to Dump her, Like WTF did she come up with this. I told that I didn't want to have sex if she wasn't fully comfortable with it, but she didn't believe me and said that if she didn't have sex with me then I would leave her or I would cheat on her.
She keeps telling that's she's ready but I can see that her eyes where red and puffy from crying and also she was too afraid of to look me in the eye.
Just Two nights ago we arrived at my home at about 10:00pm after I took her on a date, I was warming up the leftovers from the restaurant in the kitchen and Tiana was standing behind me with her shirt off ( still had her bra on though )and demanded that we have sex to save our relationship, I calmly took her hand and said "I love you and I will not have sex with you unless you are comfortable with it" and she started Crying and slapped my face and screaming that I don't Love her and that I think she's Ugly, and ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. Eventually she came out and went to sleep in my bed while I stayed up almost all night thinking about what had happened and I eventually went to sleep. In the living room on the floor.
SOMEBODY Please Help me! I can't stand seeing her like this, it breaks my heart to have her think don't love her. She won't listen me and she keeps saying that I'm ginna leace her but I'm not! I need advice on how to convince her that I love and don't care only about sex.
You are in a sticky situation. One of the hardest type of person to convince of something is an insecure teenage girl. First, you are doing a great job now and I applaud you. You're a great boyfriend. Second, you need to take her by the hand look her in the eye and say "look, you need to stop acting this way. I am not going to leave you. I've never given you a reason not to trust me, so I need you to just relax and let me love you. If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be. You've known me for 4 years. I am not worried about having sex right now, and just because we aren't having it, doesn't mean I'm going to leave. We've known eachother for a long time and I never left or abandoned you before, and I don't plan on it now. When the time is right, we'll have sex. But we can't rush it." You need to someone stand up for yourself. This girl while she may be insecure, and you love her is acting in an innappropriate way. You need to sit her down and put your foot down and say enough is enough. I love you, and you love me. That's what matters.
[view]
Please help me on how I can lose weight. I'm tired of being fat and I need to lose it NOW. I don't need gestures on how I can just "not eat desserts" or anything like that. Just please tell me how I can lose weight. Please name the excersize and how many calories burned (I don't play sports. Just excersizing please). I can't go to a doctor or my PE teacher or my mom or anything like that. I don't want my mom to think even more that i'm fat. And my mom will have to go with me to the doctor. And my PE teacher hates me. So please help me before I starve myself (I don't need a gesture on that. If I can't find any excersize, that's what i'm going to do no matter what)...
Ignore those answers. Sweetie you are 12 years old. You're supposed to have baby fat still. As your body is growing, the older you get the taller you get. And that extra skin, and "fat" will be stretched. So think of it as a new skin. It's loose on you as a child, but as you're getting older, your skin begins to fit. You don't need to worry about losing weight. If you want to stay healthy, which is what you should be worrying about right now, then stop worrying about your weight. Because stressing can cause you to gain weight even when you do not eat. Excercise is important, and I wouldn't cut that out of your life. So, you can go to playgrounds and play. It's that simple. Go for walks, go swimming, ride a bike. All of these simple fun activities, will keep you healthy. Depending on your weight I would assume maybe 80 pounds, or around there, you should be having physical activity for at least 30 minutes a day. Cut out soda as much as possible. But don't pass on treats now and then. You do your excercise, and you aren't worrying about your weight for say a week, have that candy bar or soda pop you've been craving. What matters is what you think of yourself. You need to respect and love yourself before you expect anyone to respect and love you. Be confident. You're a person. You have a special place in this world that you haven't figured out yet. Worry about doing school. That's the most important thing.
[view]
Thank You In Advance For Reading My Story, Giving Me Advice, etc. I apologize if it sounds like I'm whining but I really want to know why I am the way I am and how to better myself.
Hi , I'm a 16 yr old girl. I never kissed a guy, been on a date , hung out alone with a guy or been in a relationship. I don't go to parties, sneak out or hang out late. I don't feel like I do normal teenager things and even my mom complains that I'm being antisocial. I have been to three different high schools and in my current high school, unlike the previous two, I have almost no friends. I hide during lunch because sitting at a lunch table alone as a Senior is just too unbearable. I talk to no one in class unless I am forced to. (I do clubs and activities outside of school and I get along with the other teens there great so why not at school?) I can't figure out what has gone wrong with my life. Guys try to talk to me on the street and I ignore them, even if I think they are cute. If guys try to make eye contact, I look the other way. If I see guys approaching me , I try to take a detour , going into a store until they pass or crossing the street. Guys who I've like at one point and even gotten the courage to talk to, I always chicken out of plans or tell them I am too busy for a relationship. This one guy who liked me tried to kiss me repeatedly and even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, I would always back away and make excuses. My friend wanted to hang out but I've only hung out with her in group settings so I lied and told her I was busy. I mean what if we hung out and guys approached us, and I couldnt handle the situation? I see my younger cousins running around with really good looking guys, asking me for relationship advice and I would always have to lie. What do I know? I can't pin point my fears . I want to be social, and hang out with people. I want to have a relationship. I want to kiss and get my heart broken and call someone baby. But I just can't . I'm afraid. I panic sometimes.I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. At this rate it's possible. What do I do?
Thanks again, my fears are ruining my life. Ps I have no money for a therapist.
In the future, you're going to have to do things that you just flat out do not want to do. Like for example working with someone you don't like and being forced to be nice. Or cleaning out bathrooms. It's the same thing here. School, is preparing you for the future. It's okay to be shy. It's okay to be shy around boys. But, I would say it wasn't okay to lie. You need to have some respect for yourself and that is the first step I need you to work on. Step on respect and love yourself. Put some make up on. Turn music on in your room and dance around like an idiot. You work first on making yourself happy. Next, once you have some confidence, which you can easily fake, and then later aquire, be social. It is okay to talk to new people. People do get shy and that's normal. If you want friends, be social. Be polite. Compliment someone on somethhing. "You have cute shoes." "You're really good at drawing." Start up a conversation. Don't overdo it, but be friendly. Eventually, once you open up you'll feel the shy feelings slowly leave.
Boys. I am PROUD of you. It is OKAY to not be rushing with boys. Stay innocent as long as you can! Just becaues everyone else is doing "it" doesn't mean you have to as well. Do remember, that sex was meant for making babies. It isn't a fun activity that boys like to do. Well, it is, but that's not what it's for. You don't want a baby right now. I have two children and I am 19 years old. And I've struggled since I got pregnant. It's challenging, terrifying, intimidating and time consuming. Hold on to your youth with a tight grip and don't you dare let go.
[view]
So I have this boyfriend and we've been going out 30 days but we didn't talk for like three days but I tryed to make it work I went on fb and messaged him no reply tryed to talk to him face to face he just siad hi and I tryed Ossining notes during class but nothing back so I brook up with him he went on fb and messaged me saying that I'm a bitch and that he never going to talk to me agian then he siad he still loves me and wanted me back
So I went back with him because he siad hell make it work but it's been a whole week and nothing we only talk on fb and we've been going out for 30 days remember and we haven't kissed or hugged or even held hands
(btw I'm thirteen years old and plz dont say I'm to young I really need help)
Might I start off with saying, while you don't want to hear it you are young. You're how old 13? You should not be worrying about serious relationships right now. And since you want an answer as if you're an adult I'll tell you this, if you don't think it's right then it isn't. You aren't thinking that way for no reason. There are other fish in the sea. You need to be paired with someone who shares the same values and goals in life as you. Respect and honest are key and if those two aren't in the mix then end it now. Really you are young, and you should be worrying about school and yourself. You are your first priority right now. One day you're going to get married and have kids, and then you'll have other priorities, but until then take advantage of the private time and freedom you have now and stop rushing. You'll regret it when you can't go back to change the present.
[view]
|
