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My girlfriend is afraid i might leave her, but i Love her. I need Advice!
My name is David and I have a girlfriend named Tiana and where both 16 and are both virgins.
Just to let you guys know me and Tiana used to be best friends for 4 years and now we've been together for 3 months and I know that I truly Love her and she means the world to me.
Tiana is the kind of girl who is sometimes insecure about herself ( idk she is very beautiful ).
About a week ago she asked me if I wanted to make Love to her. I asked her "are you sure you want to do this?" And she said yes so we where kissing eachother, I was taking my shirt off when out of nowhere she started crying and mean CRYING. She told me she wasn't ready but she didn't want me to Dump her, Like WTF did she come up with this. I told that I didn't want to have sex if she wasn't fully comfortable with it, but she didn't believe me and said that if she didn't have sex with me then I would leave her or I would cheat on her.
She keeps telling that's she's ready but I can see that her eyes where red and puffy from crying and also she was too afraid of to look me in the eye.
Just Two nights ago we arrived at my home at about 10:00pm after I took her on a date, I was warming up the leftovers from the restaurant in the kitchen and Tiana was standing behind me with her shirt off ( still had her bra on though )and demanded that we have sex to save our relationship, I calmly took her hand and said "I love you and I will not have sex with you unless you are comfortable with it" and she started Crying and slapped my face and screaming that I don't Love her and that I think she's Ugly, and ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. Eventually she came out and went to sleep in my bed while I stayed up almost all night thinking about what had happened and I eventually went to sleep. In the living room on the floor.
SOMEBODY Please Help me! I can't stand seeing her like this, it breaks my heart to have her think don't love her. She won't listen me and she keeps saying that I'm ginna leace her but I'm not! I need advice on how to convince her that I love and don't care only about sex.
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Sweetie you are in a tough place. When she demands that you have sex, grab her and say: I love you and I need you to stop acting this way. Then kiss her. This works, I promise. I was like your gf, and my BF was crazy. Then he did it to me and now we have had sex and we have a baby girl so if you want to be happy, try it
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You are in a sticky situation. One of the hardest type of person to convince of something is an insecure teenage girl. First, you are doing a great job now and I applaud you. You're a great boyfriend. Second, you need to take her by the hand look her in the eye and say "look, you need to stop acting this way. I am not going to leave you. I've never given you a reason not to trust me, so I need you to just relax and let me love you. If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be. You've known me for 4 years. I am not worried about having sex right now, and just because we aren't having it, doesn't mean I'm going to leave. We've known eachother for a long time and I never left or abandoned you before, and I don't plan on it now. When the time is right, we'll have sex. But we can't rush it." You need to someone stand up for yourself. This girl while she may be insecure, and you love her is acting in an innappropriate way. You need to sit her down and put your foot down and say enough is enough. I love you, and you love me. That's what matters.
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I would but im in a love situation also. But ive dated before when I was 9. From what I can tell, you should listen to the lady but remind her after you love her.
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Tell her the truth.
Not the 'I love and you I don't want to have sex with you.'
That's good, but the more important truth is this one:
"You are behaving like a crazy person and you are frightening me. I care for you but you are never going to have a healthy relationship, with anyone, until you get this behavoir and thoughts under control."
And tell her to seek therapy, because this isn't normal. She's clearly in pain, and it's not normal, or necessary, for her to be this confused or miserable. This is not 'normal girl insecurity' at all. This is an inability to behave reasonably or respectfully to her partner that is making her physically sick, and even violent. This needs therapy and intervention to be addressed.
The truth is that if she doesn't address this behavoir you two will break up eventually. You can't be with someone in the long term who flies into fits and slaps you. Her behavoir will end this relationship, and it's possible that the kindest thing you can do for her, is tell her as much.
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