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Don't know how to turn him down/what to say
Me and this guy have been hanging out for a little while now and Im starting to think that he's just hanging out with me because he wants in my pants. He tried having sex with me once already and I said no, and then another time he was over and said we should after my friend fell asleep.. I wasn't going to do that but I have a hard time saying straight up no to people so I acted upset/not in the mood so he'd stop trying to kiss me (I was kind of upset because of it) I'm a virgin still, I do want to have sex but not unless I have some kind of comitment atleast, I don't want to have sex with someone and then them just stop talking to me. He doesn't know that though, I haven't explained why I haven't done anything with him and I don't know if I even should. I don't know if/how to turn him down. I don't want to scare him away or anything because I like habging out with him, I just kinda wanna say "if you're just hanging out with me to get in my pants you might as well give up..'' but I don't have the guts to say something like that. I just wish he'd get to know me to see that I'm actually a cool person and maybe we could date and THEN if we actually liked eachother have sex..not when we don't know eachother that well and who knows if he's sleeping around with other girls while he's trying to get with me. Anyways, what do I do? Lol
18/F
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You barely know the guy and he's trying to sleep with you. Yeah no he doesn't give a shizz about you. Sorry to be so straight forward, but it's the truth. That's all he wants. Is in your pants. You shouldn't even WANT to get with that ever. Yeah he's probably sleeping with other girls and I have no doubt in my mind. Next time he tries STAND UP for yourself. If he can't take you being honest and telling him to knock it off then he wasn't worth it in the first place. There are other people in this world that you could hang out that are cooler than he is. You just look him in the eye and say " I am in no way interested in having sex with you. I just want to be friends, if that's even possible." Then you're leaving him with the choice. If he does stick aorund that I'd say he's worth it and hopefully stops trying to sleep with you. If he stops hanging out with you there are things that are way worse that could happen to you. I'm 19 and I have two kids. You have no idea how much I wish I wouldn't have lost my virginity. I miss just worrying about me. Being free. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but I know I'd have moved forward a while ago if I hadn't had any children. So keep your virginity. Wait until you're married if you can. Don't let a guy that's not even going to give you a second thought come in between you and your future. It's just not worth it.
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"if you're just hanging out with me to get in my pants you might as well give up.." Honestly that's probably one of the best ways to put it given how aggressive he is being. A slightly nicer way would be, next time he tries something, say something like "hey, this is funny and all, but you know I don't see you that way right?" That might not really work as well given your previous answers have been, in essence, "not now but maybe later" and that's the problem. If you don't rebuke him in some definitive way, he will keep trying. Guys aren't good at reading hints, and will take you at your word. "Not now I'm on my period" will be understood as "not right now, try again in a few days" and not as "never ever ever ever." Basically just be direct and explicit about what you want out of your friendship with him.
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It's not weird or bitchy to tell him to back off on the sex front. You don't have to make it a huge deal when you tell him to stop humping your leg, but it does need to be said flat-out or he will keep on trying.
Try making a bit of a joke out of it. Next time he brings it up, you could counter with "What, I don't even get dinner first?" If he doesn't get the picture then, you could make it a little more serious and say "Hey, seriously. I don't just sleep with every guy who asks. A little effort to get to know me first would be nice."
We've all been there at some point or another, I think. Telling the guy you're on your period, or not in the mood, or OMG I just realized I have a huge assignment due tomorrow... it may seem a lot easier at the time but it doesn't work because the guy doesn't know for sure that you're not interested in sex right now. Skip the excuses and talk straight. If he's a cool guy, he'll understand. If not, then he's a jerk and doesn't deserve your time anyhow.
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If he's this aggressive and only focused on wanting to take you to bed then he doesn't truly love you or respect you. You damn well should say and have every right to "I like you but if you're here just for sex you're wasting our time. I'm not ready." You HAVE to say something or he will keep at it. This will help you see if he's a decent person worthy of dating or not.
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