I like to help people so feel free to ask me for any advice :) I'm not a font of all knowledge but I can offer honest realistic advice.
Other than that I'm just a student who likes having fun and playing games.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
Member Since: May 7, 2011
Answers: 111
Last Update: January 8, 2013
Visitors: 7855
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21 female. Ben -18
I've known Ben for about 8 years, but we haven't always been close. We recently started dating. He's not the type of guy I usually go for. I usually go for the college hockey boys -the ones all the girls want. But after the past 3, things clearly haven't been working out with those type of boys.
Now that I'm with Ben he treats me so unbelievably good. He would honestly do anything for me. I'm so comfortable with him, I've never been as comfortable with anyone else. My family likes him. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. But, I still keep thinking about wanting someone better. Yes, I'm crazy!! How could I find anyone better than Ben? I'm still wanting those hockey boys. I'm attracted to them, I find them sexy. Ben is cute and I'm a little bit attracted to him but it's not as strong as an attraction as hockey boys.
I tell Ben I have doubts because we're so different and he's not usually the type I go for. He gets really sad when I talk about it, because it would break his heart if we ever ended our relationship. He tells me to just give it a try, and that is what I will do but I am just so confused :(
I know I will not find a boy that treats me as good as Ben does. I keep telling myself that as the years go on, and I get older, the popular college hockey boys won't matter anymore because they will just be regular people too. They won't be the "stars" which is why I think I want them so bad. I have to remind myself that it's all about how a man treats me and if he treats me good and Ben does. My head is in a million different places. Ben is my first real boyfriend, all the other hockey boys I've just had "things" with, and they didn't last very long. Maybe I'm just not used to having a boyfriend. I'm a big flirt, so maybe I miss that!? I would never cheat on Ben though, I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. I don't why I keep doubting myself with Ben.
Please any guidance, advice, ANYTHING is appreciated!! (link)
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I understand how you feel, I always go for the gangster boys myself but as you said I know they don't usually work out so I'm really quite careful.
If this is your first boyfriend there is a chance you are missing the desire to flirt and look, and it is really natural to look at other people and like what you see, human nature dictates we always want the best mate we can get, so right now, hockey boys with the strong bodies make our human instincts want them simply for the "hunter" advantages. Still you don't have to ACT on this, chances are Ben has seen girls here and there and at least thought "she's attractive" so don't feel too guilty about that.
Plus being different makes no difference at all really, variety is the spice of life after all. It would grow annoying if you never had your own things to do and you'd get tired very quickly of the relationship. Perhaps he is just too different to what you were expecting if all previous experiences have been with men who had women throwing themselves all over them, that can cause a bit of confusion as you will always be waiting for the same patterns to emerge but they never do.
Ben asked you to give him a chance and you can only give him a chance if you see him for him and not who he isn't, if he is sweeter and kinder than the other guys why would you say that's a negative, he's probably less likely to cheat on you and more likely to do what he can to make you happy.
However, if after a few months you genuinely can't find yourself feeling genuinely attracted you both owe it to each other to find the people right for you. but give him a chance he clearly loves you and I believe you care about him too, you just need to try and get over the pattern you followed before and let him prove his worth to you :) good luck
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Hi Im Gracie and I'm 13! Remember me? No? That's okay. LOL :)
Anyway, I have a question about, like guys and dating and stuff. Kinda, 2 questions actually.
Well, Im 13 and he's 16.
Okay so my first question is, is it weird to date someone with the same name as your brother? His name is Matt and my brothes name is Matt. It's kinda awkward and my friends say some stuff like its gross and stuff and it's kinda embarrassing. What do you think?
My second question is, Do you think its wrong for us to date each other because he's older? I really, really like him and he says that he likes me too but he doesnt want his friends to know we're dating because they're gonna say stupid stuff about it because he's older and everything. I mean, I don't see the bid deal and it kinda hurts my feelings a little. He wants to keep it a secret that we're dating. It kinda makes me feel like he's ashamed of me or something. Maybe Im just being over sensitive?
But I like him alot, maybe even love him a little and I dont want to keep us a secret. I told my bestfriend Natalie that we were dating now and Matt (My boyfriend not my brother) found out and he got really mad and he hit me. I get why he was mad. He's popular, and has lots of friends and tons of girls that wish they could be his girlfriend and he gets mad when his frinds say stuff about him hanging out with me. It makes him upset. Its just that I've like him for a long time and I've alwaysed wish he would like me back and date me. I dont want to hide it from everybody. What if other girls start flirting with him because they dont know he's dating me?
Am I being stupid?
(FYI- We're in the same grade. I skipped a few grades. Im the youngest kid at my high school. Im a sophomore.) (link)
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first of all, there's only so many names and you are probably likely to meet plenty of people who have names that are the same as friends/family, (I have 5 friends called Rebecca and that's my middle name so yeah.) so you can't hold that against anyone.
Secondly, I don't think anything you told us about his reasons to keep you a "secret" are justified, a three year age gap is nothing to be ashamed of, it's quite normal really. If he doesn't want his friends to know and doesn't want these other girls flocking to him to know he's off limits then that would send warning signals straight to me. If he doesn't like doing the lovey things in public like kissing and cuddling fair enough but most people at least hold hands.
And hitting you? That is never acceptable. if he hits you over such a stupid thing he has major issues, the only time id ever forgive that sort of behaviour is if i seriouslly had asked for it and got an apology immedietly, as in within 2 seconds. What you did was tell a friend an important thing to you that made you happy, how is that wrong?
he clearly doesn't care for your feelings very much or your established friendships with other friends. If you want to stay with him I'd say you ask to talk and ask him why exactly you are a secret and why he felt beating you was an appropriate response. But from what you have said, be prepared to walk away and find someone who actually deserves someone who seems as nice and smart as you :) good luck.
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Well, I'm Male-16. I have never really had a girlfriend. School just started. I get tired of seeing guys and their girlfriends on the bus or in the halls. Finding a girl that actually likes me seems to be near impossible. What is it? I see some of the idiots with their girlfriends and think, "Why the hell....?" I mean there's like no girls interested in me. Yet these guys who act tough and are all cocky and think they're invincible have girlfriends. I kind of have no life, but I get good grades and come up with things that are outside the box. Its like nobody can see what I'm capable of and what know. It is so annoying when I talk to a girl and she just doesn't know what I'm talking about. It seems nowadays girls are obsessed with texting, TV shows, phones, and useless stuff like that. I rarely ever watch TV, and I rarely carry my phone. I like talking about bigger things. Like conspiracy theories, science, spiritual stuff, politics, etc. All the girls I meet don't care about any of that.I rarlyMeet smart grl (link)
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Ok sweety, to be blunt here, you're not like the boys at your school and the girls you know don't represent the entire female population.
And here's a secret theres a huge gap between 16 and the early 20's, when a girls 16 she wants the popular bad-boy type to live the life of the girls on tv, but in a few years time, you'll be so high up the social ladder the very same girls will be wishing they paid you attention, and you will be meeting smart girls with the same interests at college/university, you just have to put yourself out there.
My final little piece of advice is this, I just turned 19 and until earlier this year I had never had a boyfriend/kiss/hug or anything like that, it's not rare and nothing to be ashamed of, 16 is an age to have fun with friends, not be worrying about relationships, trust me at that age it's just not worth it, wait to meet the right girl and keep being you until you find her and remember, she doesn't have to be smart like you want, she could like you for you and be nothing like you expect, just be open minded to people and be friendly and if they ask you about your interests tell them little things, rather than a whole novel :) the more these girls talk to you the more they'll like you. be patient, everything happens for a reason after all ;)
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I have been married for almost 20 years,I have 3 kids with my wife.Recently my wife has had a relationship with a younger guy who live just down the road from our home.She prommised that she would not see him again,but I have seen tem together recently-she is still seeing him.
She met him at our local Bar where we socialize most weekends.
The humiliation has been unbearable as everybody in our village knows about this affair,I was the last person to find out.
My question is this :
What should I do, I know this is a strange question,I'm unable to make a decision as my head is in such a mess.
(link)
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Hey, I am sort of able to understand how you feel, or at least your children, as my father has just left us for another younger woman who he took to the local social area's and everyone knew about except my mum etc etc.
I can't tell you what to do but in my experience at watchig relationships, if they get caught and go back to the same person again and again that's a really bad sign, it means either a). they know they can get away with it or B). they genuinly feel stronger for this other person than you.
In the end of the day, your wife was in the wrong and it is your decision on if you stay and trust her or you leave and find a new love. Your children will obviously be upset at this point (I assume they know now) though they may not show it, particularly if they are older, but they will understand if you can't make it work, you just have to be patient with everyone.
Your wife also may not have been doing this to spite you, she may have developed feelings for this man but still love you in which case I'd recommend you take a small break and go on dates again and give her a chance to choose if she wants you or this man, equally, she could be bored of your relationship entirely and be looking for fun
There is a lot of things to consider before making decisions on such a tender subject and my heart goes out to you at this time, Please be careful though, talk to your wife and try to understand what made her leave and talk to your children and ask them if they understand the situation that you are all in. good luck x
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how do you stop watching pornography,sexual urges etc.
if christian, feel free to add any usable bible quotes to memorise to abstain from these things
AGE: 13
GENDER: MALE (link)
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Sexual urges won't really stop, there a part of our biology that says reproduce to keep the species alive, don't act on them though unless you want to. To not watch porn self control is the key just distract yourself but I would say there is nothing wrong with it personally, it's human and a lot of men and women enjoy watching porn and pleasuring themselves.
Still if you don't want to and feel wrong for doing it, then just remind yourself how you feel afterwards when you get the urge and maybe go for a walk (or cold shower) lol. goodluck :)
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I have a question and its for both guys and girls. Would you date someone or be with them if they've had sex friends before?
Ive only been with one girl before and i waited till i was in love and saw a future and all that stuff but now (im in college btw) it seems like EVERYBODY is with a f buddy. Im all for love but sometimes it just takes too long to find it; so im asking girls and guys that have been in loving serious relationships would u date someone thats had f buddies before? Please put gender and age, thank u (link)
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19f
Honestly, it depends, on the person and the history, everyone has had sex or some experiences but you have to chose what you accept and don't. If you have sex with the same person each time but not in a relationship I'd accept that so long as you stopped when we started dating (in fact when it was clear there was a spark from the talking id expect it to stop). That scenerio is fine because it's essentially a relationship, however, someone who just slept around with several people, I'd avoid them, at least sexually.
personally though, I wouldn't have a f buddy, sex isn't everything and it isnt the be all and end all, just have fun and do whatever feels right for you :)
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My name's Blair and I'm a 16 yr old girl who happens to have ednos (a mix of anorexia and bulimia) and have a self-injury addiction. As my health has deteriorated, my shrink and doctor (with the full agreement of my family) have decided to send me to RTC. I'm very scared. I'm garunteed to be the youngest resident and the farthest away from my home and my friends. How am I gonna do this? I have to go in a week.
Much love and grattitude-- (link)
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My heart goes out to you but these types of institutions are designed for the more mentally stable, the things you see on t.v with padded rooms and the likes, they try to make it as homely as possible but it is Simpy a place where professionals can watch you closely and be fast at hand should you take a turn for the worst. The reason this happens is because your family most likely doesn't know what to really do or how to truely help, for example one theory of anorexia is that it is an attention plea which is reinforced by the amount of love and concern lavished by the mother, so by removing this aspect, the attention can not be fed and the disorder is more likely to leave, I don't mean that is why you suffer of course, but it is a theory. It also will allow them to test idea's that have high success rate, such as a certain medication, which they will need to monitor you for so they can ensure your safety, rest assured, your own safety and health is placed above anything else on their agenda, dinner times for you and the other girls will always be more important to them than their lunch breaks.
Secondly, there is likely to be a few girls your age or close enough as this is a problem that is commonly found in 13-18 year old females, once you get past 18 the chances of developing it are drastically reduced so though older patients will be present there is likely to be a handful of younger ones too.
And if there is not, part of the job of the people caring for you is to form a bond, unlike the role of doctors and patients, psychologists rely more so on a close bond between their patients so that they feel comfortable confiding in them since these are mental issues, secrets and ill feelings need to be confronted early on for progress to be made, they will treat you nicely and you should feel able to talk to them and seek their help (imagine them playing the role of your favourite teacher).
Finally, almost all hospitals have visiting times, and some allow family members to spend weekends in the same room, so your family will be able to come see you regularly, and they will not lock you away and never let you out again, their goal is to prepare you to handle yourself so you CAN go and live with your family, but as I said you must trust them and try to relax sooner rather than later to speed up the process.
I hope that helped, I just finished studying eating behaviours so I can try to help you if you would like as I'm going to study Psychology later this year at university. Best of luck and I hope you find the strength to overcome your demons :) x
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Hi, im 17 turning 18 and i'm a black female. I've always been interested in dating outside my race because i've always been curious to know what it's like to date a white guy. I live in South Florida and it's not easy to get a white boy's attention (well for me) i know im pretty but what is it? What do i do to catch a white boy's attention if there is a difference. How do most of them feel about black girls anyway? (link)
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Just be yourself, you will attract a guy by being who you are and that's the basis of a good relationship. I'm white and dating a black man and from what I gather from my white male friends they wouldn't feel any differently regardless of race, they just look for their kind of personality and general look, so just be yourself and walk proud :)
Best of luck :) x
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My Question: What do I do?
My fiance and I were at a party, a young girl is claiming he was making out with her and ended up having sex at the party. I know this is not true because we were together the whole night.
My fiance is telling me to let it go, she is young and wanting attention. I would let it go if she were not telling our family and friends...and some of them believe her. My family dont understand why im still with him and think im desperate. This is one of many of her accusations...she is 17. My fiance is 23. (link)
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she sounds like she is after attention, and what better way than to go for a classical TV moments right? If you were with him the whole night, then you can be confident in that he was loyal to you and I would contact this girl and tell her that she is causing grief for the whole family and she should start to act her age, then blank her from your life until she does, no phone calls or going out together until she stops the lies. As for the rest of your family, stand your ground tell them that you trust your fiance more than a teenage girl, and give them your reasons such as he was with you the whole night, and if this girl has a history of causing trouble and lieing use that as an argument to.
The problem with todays society is it is so easy to say "he slept with me." and everyone believe without question, that a girl would never make such stories up, it's times like these when your love for one another is put to the test, and eventually your family will understand that you trust him and they should give him a chance to at least prove himself. Allthough, if he has ever had an affair before, it may be very difficult to convince others that it will not happen again. Listen to your heart and your gut feelings about the situation, if you believe he is trustworthy then take the risk, at the end of the day 17 year old girls are not best known for their undying honesty and high moral grounds.
Good luck x
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I HATE MY LIFE ! 13 yr old girl. Okay soooo all of my relationship questions have been about the same guy . Well we went out 3 times the 3rd time i broke up with him and i am a dumb ass for doing that ! And i realize that i cant be without him and i am trying not o pick up a knife and cut my arm up but truthfully thats where im headed i need advice as soon as possible ! Can someone just tell me what to do please im on my last thread of string :( (link)
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At 13 I don't believe this is a very thought out approach to a break up, did you honestly expect to remain with the same guy until death did you part? That almost never happens, variety is the spice of life so live and let go, it was a simle relationship which taught you how relationships work and soon enough a new guy will show interest and win you over and this guy though he may always be important to you if he is the first man you loved/felt strongly for, will take a back seat to the men you begin to care about. Relax, have girly nights in with your friends, watch comedians and funny programmes (don't watch sad/love films because they don't really cheer you up) and enjoy yourself :)
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Okay i know this is going to sound bad but it happens. Ok i liked this dude but he didst know about it or me really so we decided to hang out wit some close friends and we had sex! I wanted to but after i didn't hear from him so i kind of started to feel bad. I continue to hang with his friends and i started liking one of them and this time he likes me back but im afraid to talk to him like that because i don't want to seem like a hoe. I don't know if the friend knows but i also don't know what to do and this guy is really cool. Ugh i messed up bad (link)
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It's fine, its natural to grow feelings for other people, and the first guy sounds like a horrible ass hole who used you without a thought. If you talk to this guy and are at least friendly with him now then not many people would see it being slutty or whatever since good friendships are usually encouraged to become something more.
You made a mistake before but everyone does so don't let it get you down, just learn to be more careful with who you let into your life and don't beat yourself up about it, we learn better from mistakes than we do by anything else :)
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Hello, I'm 19. My names Megan.
I'm here to simply ask; just how important is sex? Me and my current boyfriend work nicely except the sex part. Our bodies make it difficult to have intercourse. I'm not saying we're fat. But he is heavier than me. And I've had heavier boyfriends. But, it's just so difficult to do it, that I'm not even sure it's worth trying to do.
I try talking to him about it, but what can he really do about it?
It bothers me, doesn't really effect him. I'm a lot more experienced than him.
I just. Need to know where to go from this? (link)
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I remember reading once that sex was one of the most important elements of a relatonship because of the bonding etc but I guess that can easily be wrong, after all, religious groups have relationships without sex until they are married.
One way around it I suppose would be telling him that you enjoy sex even if he doesn't really care for it but his body weight makes it difficult for you to really enjoy it and if he were to work on improving that you would be able to make you both enjoy sex a lot more. otherwise perhaps their are different positions that you could try that may make it easier for you to enjoy yourself. I hope it works out for you :)
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Ok I'm 13/f,and I have a bff who's like my sister.Her name is Mercedes.But when we went back to school August 8,we got put into different classrooms.So the school's slut was in my classroom,and we're now bff's.But my friend Mercedes says that's a bad thing.So she get's angry because I'm hanging with the school slut all day everyday.My mom also doesn't approve of that.But they don't really know anything about the school's slut.She's not like people think she is.My mom said that I'm gonna end up acting like her,but I don't think I will,because I was bff's with her before,and didn't act like her.SO,if all of this is happening,should I end me and Shay's (school slut) friendship?Or what should I do? (link)
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If you are friends with her then it seem's a bit harsh to stop just because of a reputation she has got, plus this depends on the society you live in, a very strict society would see a slut as someone who has had a few boyfriends and done some kissing but a relaxed society wouldn't really consider her slutty unless she slept around a lot.
The worries your mother has are founded as typcally humans will conform their attitudes to belong to a social group through fear of exclusion, but if you believe this girl is kind and misunderstood you should try to introduce her to your other friend, ask them to try and get along for your sake and they may be pleasantly surprised, don't expect miracles though as sometimes two people just won't mix.
The other thing to remember is not everyone knows this girls past, she may appear slutty because of a serious reason such as abusive parents or she may just enjoy attention but to each their own. If she starts doing things you don't like, like smoking and getting drunk/doing drugs just tell her you would appreciate she leaves you out of those activities and doesn't talk about them with you, then your less likely to decide to try them. Also, don't ignore your relationship with this other girl who you have been friends with for longer, try to make time for both of them and respect their wishes if they truely don't get on, the stories that are shared between you and one of them shouldn't be carried on to the next girl :) hope that helps
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So I'm going to be 17 in 3 days and I've only been asked out three times and i've only had 1 boyfriend. Nobody asked me to prom last year. In fact I've never been asked to any dance or party.
People tell me i'm really pretty but I feel like the ugliest troll in the entire world.
I have to go back to school soon for my senior year and I start to cry even thinking about it because I know I'm going to be surrounded by over 1,000 gorgeous rich girls that make me look like a pile of trash.
I think everybody looks down at me because I'm short for my age and so they see me as a little kid (I'm 5ft exactly). Like I'll try to talk to the popular preppy girls and they'll just roll their eyes at me.
One of them talked to me once in my television productions class and I was so shocked that I asked her if she was talking to me or somebody behind me. I couldn't believe that they even noticed my existence.
I've tried dying my hair different colors (brown and blonde) and being as skinny as possible (I'm 75 pounds) and I put on makeup and dress nicely.
I try to be funny,smart and empathic and the friends I do have love me for it and people come looking for me to give them advice and a shoulder to lean on all the time.
When I got my senior portraits done the photographer told me I should be a model because I was so pretty.
I don't know what's wrong with me I must be some sort of freak. I feel so horrible about myself I just want to disappear.
I don't know what more I can do to make myself look like something more then a stepping stone.
I fear that I'm never going to amount to anything and that nobody will ever love me and that I'm either going to get murdered or that I'll live out my life completely alone and die without ever knowing what love is.
Please give me some advice.
Thank You so much. (link)
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I totally understand how this feels because I felt the same for a very long time, and yes you should give up. give up on being what you think these people want, be yourself, don't stop eating if you are hungry you should eat.
When I was at school I felt the same, everyone was pretty and I was not, I wasn't popular most people had no idea who I was at all and it seemed like I had no chance of fitting in, it drove me to depression (which will happen to you if you don't be yourself) and made me question every part of my identity, but then I thought "fuck it, I'm me and that's all I can be." and all of a sudden people started talking to me, and noticing me, no guys had ever even spoken to me until I was 17 (when I made this change) and all of a sudden some of my best friends were guys.
So what i'm saying is, when your not yourself people see it and don't care for it, when you act the way you feel is right for you people appreciate your inner beauty much more. Nothing is wrong with you, your human like all the others in your school and a lot of them probably feel the same just be yourself and people will notice you for you and you'll be able to relax and be easier to talk to as a result :)
As for the dates and boyfriends, not a big deal, like I said until I was your age not a single person asked me out and now I have a lovely boyfriend and wherever we go he gets annoyed at the amount of men watching me walk etc. its just a development and confidence thing, in my experience, when your at school the easy girls are the popular girls that get the male attention, and trust me, when you get older being able to say you have only had one or two serious relationships is much better than saying you have had hundreds of one night stands :) So be yourself, study hard and relax, life will always work out if you give it a chance to and push it along. Good luck for the future :)
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i have now discovered that even though girls say they want genuinely nice guys they chase after assholes, who do nothing but treat them badly. but why do girls still do it. (link)
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Personally, I find the ass-hole bad guys have that danger element that through evoloution were sort of auto attracted to, since our basic instinct kicks in and says "he takes risks and he is strong and has a reputation/status within a group, therefore he would be a good mate" but that wears off when we understand the world better and see that the best partner is one who works and can look after us since the "king of the jungle" idea is no longer needed. that's the way I see it, after a certain age girls realise their mistake and swap to the good guys.
Other than that there's the: mummy/daddy wouldn't approve so let's do it, factor and all the other teenage angst reasons, but they usually change their "type" as they get older :)
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hi just wanted to ask I am small girl with big boobs size almost fills Dcup do guys like them or is it just too big is turn off? (link)
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Well, the typical view is "the bigger the better" but that's kind of just a guy joke, in reality every guy is different.
Some people like smaller boobs and some like extremely big while other prefer the middle range and some guys don't really give a toss about boobs and focus on the legs or the ass.
But as a girls opinion a size D sounds pretty good, thats a bout the size most guys can go for I'd say, not too big to be a bit scary and not too small to be barely noticed in a push up bra. But in general, don't go for a guy who is focuses entirely on your boobs, remember your a person and men should respect you for your views and attitude not your body :)
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How long after sex till you see the signs? (link)
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Most STD's don't really have "signs" which is why they are so dangerous, the best thing to do is get a regular check up if you sleep with several people or just have a single check up and ask your partner to do the same if you are in a committed relationship and remember every new partner has a risk of carrying any of the diseases. Some STD's you can see signs of like herpes (around the mouth etc.) And if you are worried I would highly recommend not having sex until you are given the all clear. most tests are free depending on where you live and where you go :)
good luck x
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I was fingered for the first time four days ago. My boyfriend was being rough and so the next day it hurt. Right now I am still having slight aches on and off on my lower abdomin. There is a chance he had precum left on his finger and I know there is a very slight chance of pregnancy but part of me is still concerned. Could I be pregnant? The only other symptom I have is a bit of fever. How many days is normal for your abdomin to ache after your first time? I am 19. Thanks in advance. (link)
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Are you about ready for your period? sometimes those aches occur before hand, especially if there's been some sexual activity, normally I don't get any aches unless I have been doing anything the week before, otherwise it is probably just coincidental that you have developed an illness (probably from your boyfriend if he had been complaining of feeling unwell before hand). as for pregnancy, from what you said I don't believe there was any full on intercourse so I would cross off the fear, it isn't impossible but it is extremely unlikely, especially if you are on any contraceptive like the pill.
If you are worried, you could buy a pregnancy test but if you are on the pill there is a risk of being a false-positive since it works by tricking the body to believe it is pregnant.
Good luck and I hope you get well soon :) x
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Ok so tomorrow I have to babysit a one-year old girl for two hours and I don't really know what to do. I'm only a 14 year old girl and have no experience with children under 3. The person who I'm babysitting for is my neighbor so I guess thats the only reason they trust me. I talked to my mom about the basics but I'm still really scared that the baby is gonna cry or want something and I won't know what to do. I don't know how to feed a baby or what to give her and i don't know when to change her diaper (I really hope I don't have to do that.) Personally, I think I'm too young to be watching a baby but there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm so scared... Please help me! (link)
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Well if you feel very nervous, ask your mother and the neighbour if you can have a friend come to help you, but for two hours I think you will be fine, the child's parents will probably make an effort to tire the child out before handing her over so she will most likely sleep a lot (babies like to sleep). If she starts to cry pick her up (support her head, don't let it just hang there) and gently rock her in your arms, keep calm and make soothing sounds, if you panic she will probably become agitated and continue crying.
Now, as far as feeding and changing goes, they can't really tell you what they want so it's a bit trial and error, the parents will probably prepare a bottle for her and all you'll have to do is hold her up (or sit her on your knee or w/e) and put the bottle cap to her lips, if she's hungry she'll grab it and start to drink otherwise she will probably push it away. Diaper wise you will probably notice a smell or at least feel a damp patch which is the signal for baby need's a change, there pretty straight forward to do and you can figure it out through guessing. just lay her down take off the old one and place the new one on.
But as I said, for two hours she willprobably have been changed and fed and perhaps may only need attention and be put to sleep, just remember to keep close in case she wakes up and keep checking on her to make sure she's breathing etc. (don't give her a pillow or a blanket, just lay her down on a soft flat surface or in the push chair if the parents tell you to) Also, you may get a list of emergency numbers such as a close by family member so if you get worried at all you could call them and ask them about the concern, you will be fine though :) parents don't take chances with their young babies, if they felt you wouldn't manage they wouldn't have asked you.
good luck :) x
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Well, I'm 14 and I'm not really sure how to go about this so please bear with me. My mom is thinking about getting an abortion. For awhile she was really sick so we went to the hospital and found out that she's pregnant with twin. I was SHOCKED but happy nonetheless. I already love those two as much as I love my little brother (he's one). I honestly thought my mom was happy too but I guess not because she dropped the bomb today that she was thinking about abortion. Now, my mom has A LOT of medical issues going on, most of which I don't even really know. However I do know that she has fibromyalgia (a type of arthiritis) and she had to have surgery on her stomach more than once :\ Both of her pregnancies (mine and my brother's) were high risk, but we came out pretty healthy (despite our asthma). She's no longer with the man that gave birth to my brother. But she's got me, and the rest of our family for emotional support. So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is: how can I get her to say no to abortion? Thanks :) (link)
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Ok in all honesty, abortion sounds like the best option. You may love the idea of having two new siblings but would you prefer it at the cost of your mother's life? You and your brother were very lucky to be born healthy if she has so many problems, also constant surgery on her stomach area lowers the chance of an infants survival too.
In general, twins are more difficult than single children to give birth to, so you have all ready doubled the risk that was faced with you and your brother and lowered the chance that both would survive.
It's great to see you would offer her the support she needs but emotional support is only half the game, these children could be born with deficiencies etc and your mother could end up feeling terrible and blaming herself for allowing it to happen.
It's possible that she would survive with two healthy children but she should really make an appointment with her doctor to fully see the risks, after all you could loose your mother and both the children if it is too risky and I'm sure that is NOT what you want.
I would recommend you ask to go with her to an appointment so you can voice your opinion and then both you and your mother will be able to choose the best option, but remember also, children cost money and if she is single 4 children can be almost impossible to keep up with the bills so she may be thinking logically and holding her two all ready born children in priority, for example, the two babies would need more food, if she spends all her money feeding them then you and your brother suffer a lack of nutrition and she would probably starve herself to make sure you are all fed. Unfortunately that's the world we live in now :/
So talk to your mum about WHY she wants the abortion, if it's purely medical reasons ask her to at least see a doctor to see what options are available, if it's cost and other means just remember she has lived a longer life than you and understands the troubles of life much better than you could at your young age, try to not judge her harshly :)
best of luck x
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