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Hi Im Gracie and I'm 13! Remember me? No? That's okay. LOL :)
Anyway, I have a question about, like guys and dating and stuff. Kinda, 2 questions actually.
Well, Im 13 and he's 16.
Okay so my first question is, is it weird to date someone with the same name as your brother? His name is Matt and my brothes name is Matt. It's kinda awkward and my friends say some stuff like its gross and stuff and it's kinda embarrassing. What do you think?
My second question is, Do you think its wrong for us to date each other because he's older? I really, really like him and he says that he likes me too but he doesnt want his friends to know we're dating because they're gonna say stupid stuff about it because he's older and everything. I mean, I don't see the bid deal and it kinda hurts my feelings a little. He wants to keep it a secret that we're dating. It kinda makes me feel like he's ashamed of me or something. Maybe Im just being over sensitive?
But I like him alot, maybe even love him a little and I dont want to keep us a secret. I told my bestfriend Natalie that we were dating now and Matt (My boyfriend not my brother) found out and he got really mad and he hit me. I get why he was mad. He's popular, and has lots of friends and tons of girls that wish they could be his girlfriend and he gets mad when his frinds say stuff about him hanging out with me. It makes him upset. Its just that I've like him for a long time and I've alwaysed wish he would like me back and date me. I dont want to hide it from everybody. What if other girls start flirting with him because they dont know he's dating me?
Am I being stupid?
(FYI- We're in the same grade. I skipped a few grades. Im the youngest kid at my high school. Im a sophomore.)
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I don't think it's weird to date someone with the same name as your brother, that's just chance. He's only a few years older than you, if you get on well together, it's not a problem.
Why does he want to keep you a secret? That's a bit worrying. Does he have girlfriend/s who would be upset if they found out?
What worries me most is him hitting you. That is NOT the way to treat anyone. Sounds like he has anger management issues to be sorted out before he goes out with anyone, least of all a young woman like you. I'd be looking around for another guy so we could respect each other the way couples should when they love each other.
Don't settle for second best, which this guy is.
He's not worth the hassle.
Please let me know what happens?
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Ok well it's not weird to date someone with the same name as your brother. Your friends are just immature if they think that way lol.
It's not wrong to date him because he's older. That wouldn't be the problem in this relationship.
I wouldn't date a guy who would have to keep me a secret because he couldn't take the crap his friends gave him. It's ok that it hurts your feelings because honestly, it should. It should hurt if your boyfriend is hiding you and even gets upset when you tell your best friend. The relationship won't go anywhere unless he stands up for you.
Hitting is definitely not a good thing, which is why I doubt this whole relationship.
I think you should find someone else you will treat you better. Hitting and keeping secrets isn't a good way to start a relationship. You deserve to be happier with someone else.
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Hi Gracie,
First: Maybe I'm to old fashion but I think 13 is to young for one on one dating. What complicates this for you is the fact you have skipped some grades and are forced to associate with older kids. Have you discussed this with your dad and if so what does he say.
Second: Hitting is never okay. It doesn't matter who is hitting who; it is totally not right. He is old enough to be charged with domestic violence or worse, if he was to seriously hurt you. It is also a trait that says so much about him and how being with him is a danger to you.
We have corresponded many times in the past. I say this as if you were my daughter; if someone is hitting you then you need to tell him to take a hike. There is no reason in this world to subject yourself to this abuse. You will not change him.
Third: While the age difference is not all that great. His desire to keep your relationship a secrete sends up all types of warning flags for me. The most important of those flags is that his intentions are not the most honorable. He is probably trying to take advantage of your youth and inexperience for his own sexual needs.
Thirteen is way to young to be having sexual intercourse. Sixteen is even to young for some. It is my belief he feels he will get from you what he cannot get from girls his own age. So please be careful and remember NO means NO. Do not let him force you to do something you do not want. If he says either you do or I'm leaving. Point to the door.
Fourth: Ad far as names go. A name is just a mane. You cant help who you fall in love with or who you become friends with. A name has nothing to do with how you feel about a family member with the same name.
Hope you have a great school year
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first of all, there's only so many names and you are probably likely to meet plenty of people who have names that are the same as friends/family, (I have 5 friends called Rebecca and that's my middle name so yeah.) so you can't hold that against anyone.
Secondly, I don't think anything you told us about his reasons to keep you a "secret" are justified, a three year age gap is nothing to be ashamed of, it's quite normal really. If he doesn't want his friends to know and doesn't want these other girls flocking to him to know he's off limits then that would send warning signals straight to me. If he doesn't like doing the lovey things in public like kissing and cuddling fair enough but most people at least hold hands.
And hitting you? That is never acceptable. if he hits you over such a stupid thing he has major issues, the only time id ever forgive that sort of behaviour is if i seriouslly had asked for it and got an apology immedietly, as in within 2 seconds. What you did was tell a friend an important thing to you that made you happy, how is that wrong?
he clearly doesn't care for your feelings very much or your established friendships with other friends. If you want to stay with him I'd say you ask to talk and ask him why exactly you are a secret and why he felt beating you was an appropriate response. But from what you have said, be prepared to walk away and find someone who actually deserves someone who seems as nice and smart as you :) good luck.
x
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Hey :) My brother's name is Matt, also! Well, there's nothing wrong with dating someone who has the same name as your brother. It's just a name, nothing more.
I do think that dating a 16 year old while being 13 is too big of an age difference. 3 years may not seem like much, but when you are young, it is.
If he can't tell his friends he's in a relationship with you and wants to keep it a secret, I would take it as a sign of immaturity...
And did he really hit you? Hell no. Don't ever take that kind of treatment!
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