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cheating wife. I was the last to know, and I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me?
I have been married for almost 20 years,I have 3 kids with my wife.Recently my wife has had a relationship with a younger guy who live just down the road from our home.She prommised that she would not see him again,but I have seen tem together recently-she is still seeing him.
She met him at our local Bar where we socialize most weekends.
The humiliation has been unbearable as everybody in our village knows about this affair,I was the last person to find out.
My question is this :
What should I do, I know this is a strange question,I'm unable to make a decision as my head is in such a mess.
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You really need to do what's best for you. You can't be in a healthy marriage if you two aren't connecting and sooner or later, your children will see that.
You deserve to be happy, and cheating is a horrible/selfish thing to do to you, and not to mention your entire family.
You know what's going on, and you should sit your wife down and tell her that she can't have it both ways. Actually, you shouldn't even have to sit her down. I mean, you said that she said that she wouldn't see this man again correct?
She went back on what she said, and that's not cool. You really, really should do what is in your best interest and get out of that unhealthy situation that you happen to be in.
I hope this helped, and I do wish you all the best in the final decision that you make.
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Hey, I am sort of able to understand how you feel, or at least your children, as my father has just left us for another younger woman who he took to the local social area's and everyone knew about except my mum etc etc.
I can't tell you what to do but in my experience at watchig relationships, if they get caught and go back to the same person again and again that's a really bad sign, it means either a). they know they can get away with it or B). they genuinly feel stronger for this other person than you.
In the end of the day, your wife was in the wrong and it is your decision on if you stay and trust her or you leave and find a new love. Your children will obviously be upset at this point (I assume they know now) though they may not show it, particularly if they are older, but they will understand if you can't make it work, you just have to be patient with everyone.
Your wife also may not have been doing this to spite you, she may have developed feelings for this man but still love you in which case I'd recommend you take a small break and go on dates again and give her a chance to choose if she wants you or this man, equally, she could be bored of your relationship entirely and be looking for fun
There is a lot of things to consider before making decisions on such a tender subject and my heart goes out to you at this time, Please be careful though, talk to your wife and try to understand what made her leave and talk to your children and ask them if they understand the situation that you are all in. good luck x
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I think you know what you want to do. You want someone to tell you it is okay or the right thing to do. I can't or won't be that person. The reason is simple; I won't be your scapegoat if you end up hating the decision you make.
You really have two choices to make. You can stay and try to work things out with your wife and the rest of the village be damned. Or you can go and be the martyr for being cheated on by her.
If you decide to stay you should seek marriage counseling. Both individual and joint sessions. In the individual sessions you can work out you feelings of hurt and anger with the therapist. In the joint sessions you can again work out your feelings as well as find out what was or is missing form you lives that caused your wife to cheat on you.
If you go remember it is your wife that cheated on you not your children. If they are under 18, which I would think at least one or two of them would be you have responsibilities to them as their father. Too many times children become pawns in a divorce, don't let this happen to your children. The divorce itself will be traumatic enough don't add to it by making them choose between their parents.
Other than suggesting finding a new bar to socialize in I can't be of any further help. This is a decision you alone must make.
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