|
| |
pardon the title, I couldn't think of anything better to title this.
so to make a long story short, my best friend's gone to another school and as happy as I am for her, I miss her so much already. Call it stupid but it's true. She was the one who got me through my worst moments, kept me stable, kept me smiling...she was the best of me. I know you're all going to be thinking "it's a part of life" but listen, try to see this from my perspective. She's the one who made me happy and as cliche as this sounds, she was the best part of me and I couldn't thank her enough for everything she's done for me. She never found out (or so I believe she never knew) how I really felt about her. I liked her at first glance and after awhile, I fell in love with her. It's better she didn't know because she was taken any way and I respect her enough to back off. It's pretty stupid I'm crying over the fact we're apart....we said our goodbyes today and I'm going to miss her. I don't know what to do about people asking me about her. I'm scared I'll break down in front of them (link)
|
I know this may be very hard for you and I understand, its tough. It's okay to feel upset and go through a mourning period. It's hard when you feel like you're losing a friend or if you are. You're not use to spending time away from her and it may take time to adjust which is only natural. There are many important people in life and you can still talk to her and hang out with her when you can, it's not over. In the mean time try to keep yourself open to new friends, don't hide yourself or keep your head down because you may miss the best person who has yet to come. My advice is to look up this video called "Look up". It is a very inspirational video that made me realize so many more things in life that I had never really thought about.
Let me know!
Good Luck!
I'm here for you
|
Hey everyone, 18/f here
Background:
So, the cliche "best friend is in love with me" story happened to me. He's been my bestie for about two years, almost three. He's heard me out when I ranted about other guys, when I cried over getting cheated on, when I was stressed because I had to keep my grades up, and everything else. These past two months we talked more than usual, and I ended up catching feelings for him. I thought he just saw me as a friend but he confessed to having feelings for me for about a year. All our mutual friends knew except me, go figure. So we're dating and it's been great.
There's just one little problem. He's such a gentleman in so many ways and I love that. He wants to get married, buy a house, settle down. He believes that sex should only occur after marriage and while I think it's amazing that there's still men who think this way, I'm not sure I agree with him. He's catholic, not extremely religious but his beliefs are very old-fashioned. I am atheist, and I don't believe in marriage. While we're just teenagers, it seems like that could bring problems in the future. He knows what I am, and he's never said anything negative. The point is, I can't stop thinking about him in "unpure ways". It makes me feel silly to put it that way, but I keep having weird dreams and daydreams about him a in sensual/sexual way. It's starting to become a little obssesive. I mean, he doesn't even touch me other than holding my hand sometimes but that still makes me get all hot and bothered. We're both virgins, but I've had sexual contact with my ex. Could this be way I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend this way? (link)
| |
It's totally natural to feel these emotions inside of you, you're hormonal, you're 18. I find it sweet that you guys are dating and that you two are connecting in ways that don't have to involve sex. it makes sense that you would feel that way especially about your boyfriend, don't put yourself down.
|
So my bf (not sure if he still is) and I are/were in a long distance relationship for 4 months now.
Last week (Saturday), I sent him a text saying "hi" and he replied late night and I sensed something was wrong so I asked him if we are okay and he said yes and he told me we really were okay.
Then next day no contact.. I told him that I feel things are a little too distant and i'd like to know what's happening as I hadnt heard from him in 2 days and I even asked him if he wanted to do this anymore.
He said he does and he's not slept in 36 hours. I told him that I wouldn't know That unless he tells me.
And he said "I know. I'm sorry".
And after that i told him it would be easier for me to know why this is happening.. He said " he's got s lot on his plate. He's losing his mind ".
I told him things will be fine.
And I didn't receive any reply after that after last Wednesday. I haven't texted him since and I don't feel like it. Should i assume that we have broken up and move on. I'm really tired with all the drama.
Two weeks back this guy wants more communication and hated when I didn't text him. Now this is just contradictory.
I also asked him directly if he didn't want to do this as it would spare us from any drama.
What should I do.? I don't want to text him again as he was very cold in his messages. How long should I wait for his response if any and am move on?? (link)
| |
You might need to call him. This is not a sign of breaking up because it was not mentioned and there was no fight to come to that conclusion. Maybe he actually has a lot on its plate and you have to be patient with him. Long distant relationships are very difficult to do because you can't see them when you want to and a lot of time they do not work out. It takes a lot of effort and may be very very hard, so you have to think you can stand being away from him for so long or if its too much for you and you just have to move on.
|
I'm tired of being mean to the person I like. It's always me calling them names and calling them ugly when I. don't. mean. it. It makes me mad because impulse control disorder makes me blurt out some mean things some times without even thinking. I want to be nice, I really do. But I just don't know how...
any suggestions as how to improve myself in being nice? Because I want to better myself, for the sake of the person I like, for our friendship in general, and for my sake. (link)
| |
If this is who i think it is, you have to think about the reason behind it, you have to understand if you can't control yourself, distance yourself from the person you like so you can learn to take care of yourself too.
|
Hello.
I'm a 22 year old female with a past of unhealthy and shakey relationships,lasting between 2 to 6 months.
However, in this case.. I have been on and off with the same person for around two years. For some of you out there, you may not find this all too impressive. But to me, it's something that has been really hard for me to fathom.
Our relationship started very quickly and passionately. We met in the mall through a mutual person and instantly hit it off. We could read each other's emotions pretty well (or so I thought), and I really fell for him fast. The thing that held us back the first time around was his drug usage.
After a few months of breaking up and getting back in touch, he really seemed to have changed. He was taking care of himself more, appeared more composed and thoughtful. So.. we gave it another round.
We really hit it off that time. We were very in tune.. always talking about our feelings and making plans for the future. Then he betrayed my trust and came to my house blazed out of his mind. I found out within a week that he not only had sex with me while he was high, but that he also lied about his father abusing him and that he used to be a coke addict. I get if someone lies about those things not happenings.. but why lie that they did? I get it was for attention, but that's some heavy things to lie about.
It took a huge toll on me. You see, I never truly trusted anyone until I met him. I always remained guarded and suspicious. But for him I completely let myself open. I told his parents about him using and what he did. He agreed to give up that life and to move back in with them so that he could live a more productive life.
I thought since he made that decision, that things could maybe be different.
We made it work for awhile, but I never truly healed from that initial heart break. He made it worse by inviting his old room mate over to our place and trying to hide it from me.
He would watch pornography while I was upstairs sleeping. I caught him on a hook up site (though he claims it was only for pictures). He admitted he lied that his ex girlfriend had an abortion and left him.
It seemed like everything was starting to repeat itself. He makes me feel like I'm crazy.. like I'm looking for mistakes. But he makes the same ones over and over again!
So, I decided I was moving out after he told me it's my fault he can't change. Even though I'm guarded and suspicious over the pain he has caused me. He instantly changed his tone and cried and begged for me to stay. Literally in a fetal position yelling that he would change. At that point, I had completely shut off emotionally. I couldn't connect to him because he put me through so much, and I felt the tears weren't even real.
I have a new place now.. and I have a few weeks until I move. But you see, I still am having a hard time thinking of him not being around. I do have a big problem with abandonment and I accept that. But I should know better by now that he will only cause me pain.
On top of this, he gave me herpes.. something that I can never get rid of and that people will judge me for. How can I trust that the next guy won't just push me away from that alone?
I feel broken, used, hurt and worthless. I know I'm strong enough to live on my own.. but damn, I wish my mind would catch up to my heart and be at rest.
So I ask.. what do I do to keep moving? Am I crazy? And is there even a small chance that he could ever change? (link)
|
I'm sorry that you have had this difficult experience and I wish you the best. It's not your fault that this guy went through all of this and there was nothing you could do to prevent him from going through these things. That was his decision to treat you that way and all you can do is move on and take as much time as necessary to heal. You may have your guards up in the future relationships, but maybe that might help you not have bad relationships. Maybe that will help you find someone who won't hurt you. Take this relationship as a learning experience, not every guy is going to treat you this way and some people just need to get help. There is a way he can change, but theres only so much you can do. You cant force him to change, at a certain point he needs to learn how to change for himself. I know you may love him, but addictions are very hard to come out of. So, don't keep staying in the relationship if it's too much for you. Sometimes you have to think about yourself and not how other people are going to feel about this situation.
Good luck!
I hope everything works out.
|
I am the type of person who likes being in control of things. When there’s something that I can’t control, it either devastates me to the point where I have to shut it out, or it emotionally drains me.
For example, my sister is in a relationship that I know is no good for her, and I have decided that because I am not strong enough to emotionally handle it, that as much as I love her I will shut her out until she decides to cut off all ties with him.
Her situation has devastated me enough. I would rather not focus on the possibility that because she’s wasted five years with him, she will never go back to school to study history like she wants, but will most likely end up living in a trailer park, constantly asking me and my future husband for money.
She’s almost thirty years old, and in the past has admitted that he is no good. I don’t even think that she’s in love with him anymore, but she’s settling with him because she has low self-confidence, has gained a ton of weight, and they have been together for almost five and a half years, so it’s difficult to get away from him. She knows that at almost thirty-six years old, he’s never going to get over his alcohol addiction, or hold down a job.
I’m not asking for advice with her, I know that my decision to cut her off is no good but she doesn’t need me anyway. I’m asking for advice with another crisis involving my long-term boyfriend of three years, who I will most likely marry.
Over the summer his grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Which arguably is not fair, I get the idea that she is everyone’s rock just like my own now deceased grandmother was (for example, my boyfriend’s mom is a single mom who was a waitress for most of her life, and she helps her out significantly with finances), and she quit smoking thirty years ago. He texted me this week that she is on her death bed.
Unfortunately, I always understood that she was going to die.
She is over seventy years old, and it’s harder for older people to get over illnesses, especially when the man who she dated for 46 years but never married (I have my own theory as to why, she was still married to my boyfriend’s grandfather after 30 years into the relationship, which was an unhappy marriage, but she wouldn’t get away from because of her old-fashioned ideology and anti-divorce views. She, also, didn’t want to enter into another marriage at the time of her life when her husband finally passed when my boyfriend was nine) shockingly passed away from a heart attack right before her first chemotherapy treatment. I’ve heard of many older people dying after the loss of the love of their life, since many of them have been with them for years and cannot imagine a life without them.
I also saw her condition deteriorate over time. A year ago she was working as a waitress and was fairly independent. It got to the point where she laid in bed all day, and her daughters and my boyfriend had to do things that we take for granted, such as feed her, help her get dressed, even help her get out of the chair.
Although I knew that things were bad, I wanted for her to die after my boyfriend graduated college for two primary reasons. First, because he took a year off from college before his last semester, and was already worried about passing his accounting courses, and I didn’t want for her death to add to his stresses. Second, for a more selfish reason, he told me that his mother was going to move much farther away than they live now, so that she could be closer to his brother and he wanted to find a place either where he lives now or closer to me.
Now, logically, you cannot ask a person in hospice to keep on fighting until her grandson finishes college, because that would not be fair to her, and under certain circumstances might actually be impossible.
Since she is likely to die this month (in a few days), which is already a difficult month for me, because two weeks from now, the best person who I ever met in my life (my paternal grandmother) passed away, and it feels like I am losing her all over again. She died under similar circumstances, but she suffered for longer.
When I text his mother yesterday I feel like I was very out of line. First, I expressed my deepest condolences and asked how she thought my boyfriend was doing, rather or not she thinks that I should talk to him.
Then I said that February sucks, because this is when I lost my own grandmother, and that nothing good happens this time of year (I seriously believe that). I, also, said on a more positive side, not that I meant this to be about myself, but at least she will not be suffering for long like my own grandmother did.
That was actually meant to comfort her, and I do not know if that made things worse. I, also, said that I was so sorry for her loss, and told her that I know that her mother loved her family as much as my grandmother did, and told her what my paternal grandmother told my aunts, which helped them, not to cry but to celebrate her life, because I was certain that’s what her mother would want for her family.
My boyfriend’s mother did not tell me off, but I have no idea if anything I said was rude. I guess even trying to come up with the right words to say during a time like this is rough. Although, she actually said thank you, so maybe I was helpful =).
I meant to be heartfelt and comforting, even though I’m still mad at her after a dispute that we had last month, which I refuse to bring up with her now but I was told by my best friend that I should discuss with her at the right time, definitely not right now.
I, also, feel like a terrible girlfriend. Since I will most likely not be able to attend the funeral. The weather has been really bad here, and because the administrators at my school are clueless, I have had to miss class to prevent from getting stuck far away from home waiting for a bus. (Seriously, when your parking lot is an ice rink you’re supposed to close the school.) I doubt that my professors would understand why I need to take off from school to be at the funeral, because he is not my fiancé, or my husband.
How can I comfort my boyfriend during a time like this? I know that he doesn’t want to burden me, but I refuse to just stand there knowing how I felt when I lost my own grandmother.
He did actually admit to me that he was upset, I told him to just stay with her for as long as he possibly can, that way he can actually say goodbye. I regret not saying goodbye to my late paternal grandmother.
I did not say goodbye because my dad did not want to see her in that condition, and I was unable to get there on my own. He wanted to portray an image of her where she was happy and not suffering.
What can I say or do? How can I be there for him, without actually being there like I should be? As you can see, there’s a ton of things going through my head right now. I hate myself, because instead of focusing on his family’s pain, I’m focusing on the loss of my own grandmother.
Am I selfish? Are these feelings normal? I’ve met his grandmother, but never had the opportunity to bond with her. So, I’m focusing on the similarities that I experienced with the loss of my paternal grandmother, who also died of cancer, and who held my family together.
(link)
| |
That is a lot of stuff that is going through your head and it makes perfect sense that you would think about your own grandmother. I feel like you have lots of regrets and its understandable to feel this way. This is a lot of emotional distress that is put on you and may take some time to move past it. You have to be patient with yourself and not continue to over stress yourself because you seemed stressed out already. Communicate with your boyfriend and just tell him how deeply sorry you are for his complications and just send your love their way. You should know exactly how he feels and tell him that you will always be with him mentally and if he needs to talk to you, he can. He might just need reassurance that you wish you could do more, you can't be everywhere at once. You have to make sure your education is at the top and he has to understand where you're coming from and your own responsibilities. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this.
|
Hello,
My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you. (link)
| |
I think you need to tell him the truth. It may hurt him, it may break him, but he needs to know now rather than later. Long distance relationships are very hard and most of the time do not work. Relationships do not work if you aren't honest with each other. There is a possibility that he might try to move forward and try to learn to trust you again. He could love you enough to try to work through the complications which can help the relationship grow, but he deserves to know what happens and he doesn't deserve lies.
|
|
I'm a lesbian and I'm not sure how to tell my family. They are very Christian and homophobic. I asked my best friend but she wasn't sure. She said I definitely need to do it though. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. Please help me (link)
| |
It's hard to give you full advice on the matter because I do not know how old you are, but I'll give you advice from what I know. It can be very scary to come out to anybody especially your family even if they aren't homophobic. Tell them at your own time and if you think that they would kick you out, you may have to either come up with a backup place to stay/live or keep it a secret from them. There is a possibility though that they will be okay because you are their daughter so they will love you no matter what. Those are the two possibilities you must keep in mind. Let me know how old you are so i can give you more advice
|
Hello..
I recently started dating this guy. I was three months single from a hurtful break-up and I was ready to date again. We met online in mid-December 2014 and the going has been good ever since. We have gone on numerous dates..and i have been to his place a few times now.
He just asked me out recently and now we are officially dating. However, we haven't had sex yet and he hasn't pressured me to do it. All we do is make out..and stop ourselves from going too far. :-)
He has quite a past. He has been sober for one year now..and he has been off cigarettes for one month now. As a result, he didn't get to focus on school and now, he is completing his degree course,at 27 years old. This makes him a full time student while me, 25 years old and working.
My question..
1. I don't know if his past should have a effect of me and our dating life. I need advice on dating people who have dealt with substance abuse before.I specifically feel scared at the thought of all this affection he has for me being an outlet to his addictions. I'm I over thinking it? How should I bring this up before we go too far?
2. Gift ideas for valentines day.. now that we are newly dating. Two weeks dating.. two and a half months knowing each other.
Thanks.. (link)
|
1. You shouldn't discuss with him your concern because he will think you don't believe in him which can cause more chaos, just have the thought in the back of your head of the possibilities of a relapse and how you can be there for him. Addictions are hard to fight and it doesn't make him a bad person, it just means he haas had a little bit of struggle. Don't hold that against him.
2. Get him something small, maybe a watch, some item that you know he likes but in between the price range of $10-$20
|
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for around 4 months. Since last 20 days or so he was distant and replied to my messages really late.. Usually after 2-3 days.
So I asked him what was happening... And he said, university was hectic and he said things are getting worse. I even asked him if it's this relationship or something else that was causing the problem. He said it's neither of it. But I realised hes doing this to get out of the relationship
I for some reason did not pursue him. I think my ego came in between and I didn't bother texting him again. He hasn't texted me in over 5 days now. I am moving on and don't feel like texting him. I don't think he even deserves to know that m moving on.I cannot text him first.
And he friends with my best friend and I see him online ( he said he's busy with university). So that's just proof enough that he doesn't want to face the music and tell me that he doesn't want to do this. So my question is Im just wondering why am I so indifferent to this? I mean the urge to text and call him just died so soon.
Is this a bad thing?? (link)
| |
You have to tell him how you feel. You can't just ignore him, you have to either break it off or just confront him about your issues and how you don't have to urge to talk to him and may not work out
|
|
To make a long story very short, I was in a relationship with this guy and we broke up about a month ago. The breakup was bad, because he broke up with me for another girl that he unintentionally got pregnant. He apologized later and I have since forgiven him. We started to become friends again, and it was good. A week or two goes by and he starts talking to me about liking this other girl. That would be fine in most circumstances, but he also said he still had feelings for me. That confused me for a while, but then I figured out how much of a liar he was in the relationship. The next week I told him that I still loved him and how I felt about his lying behavior. I told him because I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head and it was driving me crazy. After we talked about it, now he acts like we aren't friends. He says "we're cool" and there are no grudges or anything, but he won't hang out with me outside of the events I have to see him at. Those events are weekly, by the way, and now I'm left feeling like I have to pretend everything is fine in front of all of our mutual friends. Its not fine, and if those people knew what he did they may not want to be his friends. I know this sounds really messed up, but I still want to be his friend in spite of all the things we've been through. My real question is how do I go about rebuilding this friendship if I can? Should I apologize for telling him how I felt, and making him feel weird? I mean whatever I do, I know this guy will lie to my face, because I've caught him so many other times. However I don't want to loose a great friend I used to have, I've already lost him as a lover, I can't stand to loose him as a friend too. Is it hopeless, or is it fixable? (link)
|
This is a very tricky situation that needs to be thought about and nobody can choose for you what exactly to do because they aren't you. You have to decide for yourself. What i can tell you is it sounds like either way there will be plus and minuses. If you stay friends with him, it may be awkward and not feel right and you may never trust him because you have know him to lie, but you will still have him as a friend. If you stop being friends with him, there will be no more drama. That might be hard to choose, but sometimes the hardest is the best choice. A lot of people may not like change, its new, there has to be adjustments, people like routines. So, if you are no longer friends, you have to adjust you have to move on and that can be difficult given the history you have, but it may be the best for the long run. Drama will be gone
Tell me what you think!
|
23/f
I feel like everyone who is going to read this is going to think im stupid. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. I live in new england so we just had this huge snow storm. I was just at his house on sunday and i havent been there because he was working in the snow. I finally saw him today (thursday) and i went over to his house. I have a key to his place and i walked right in i noticed that there are two picture frames of us by his tv. I noticed they were gone, so i was upset. I noticed that there are pictures on his fridge and the one of us was taken down. I got upset and couldnt wait for him to get home and i texted him why did you take my pictures down? He responded with "i cleaned the tv stand lol" i looked for the picture frames and they were put away in a draw. I told him that my feelings were hurt and i am very stubborn so i was giving him attitude. He got so devisinve and bad saying your really going to get mad over a picture? and i felt guility and shut my mouth up. My feelings are hurt. i dont understand why he would do that. My only thought would be if a girl came over. We have been together for so long that everyone kind of knows that we are together. I am just confused because he was working for the past 4 days. I am trying not to be indenial but thats the only reason i can think of. Im just upset. Thank you for anyone who is reading this i just needed to vent to someone about it. (link)
|
Hey, nobody should judge you on venting out your feelings, you are only human. Sometimes the best people to get advice from is people you don't know so they can't judge you and they won't know you. This is perfectly normal to think. Small things can add up and if you believe that it is an issue for the pictures to be down, it is. He should know how you feel and shouldn't feel guilty for feeling that way. Communication is is the top way to keep a relationship together and if you hide all your feelings that relate to this, it could turn into one big fight. Tell him this means something to you and you want to respect that. Don't ask him if he's cheating on you, just ask but why would you take us down? you don't like it? or something along those lines. Don't jump to conclusions, but don't rule out the possibilities.
Good luck!
|
Okay, so I like this guy in my friend group and I have for a long time now. We talk all the time, we text pretty often. He also asks to skype me. We used to skype like in a group, but the other night he asked if I wanted to skype. We skyped for like 2 and a half hours, then I had to go to bed and he texted me after we got off skype. I don't know what this means, like does he just enjoy talking to me as friends or does he like me as something more?
Oh, by the way I am 15, almost 16 year old girl. (link)
|
I think you should talk to him about it, thats the only way to know for sure, some people say thats a definite sign, but it could just mean he enjoys your company, make a move on him and see what happens!
|
|
I am an 18 year old female interested in beginning some sort of relationship with my ex boyfriend's twin brother. My relationship with my ex boyfriend was fairly serious but we no longer speak and my feelings for him have subsided. However, I have recently become interested in his brother. I have also heard through the grapevine that his brother feels the same way towards me but is wary of the situation. How should I approach this? (link)
|
That is very dangerous and for most people, they would think this situation is very sketchy, but if you are okay with the actions or feelings that happen around you, then go for it, you can't help how you feel.
|
21/f, 28/m
I've been dating this guy for the past 8-9 months. He has lied to me three times and each time he has broken my trust. Each time, we were trying to rebuild trust and trying to make things work. He has convinced me to stay because he called them "bad choices" or "bad mistakes." Those lies and mistakes that he has made, has done damage that also made me question his loyalty. But he did not completely go off and cheat on me. The worst thing he did was tell his ex-girlfriend that he missed her.
Since then, he's been telling me that he has moved on and he no longer thinks about her. He's been reassuring me, telling me that he likes me, he sends me kissy faces, he told me that he's been trying to become more available for me, that he desperately wanted to rebuild trust with me, and to become closer to me. He told me yesterday that he wanted to be my "home," because I told him that I no longer have that someone that was like my "home." He even looked up an article that would somewhat help to open us both up and become vulnerable. He thought it would be worth a try.
I'm not sure if it's because he broke my trust so many times in such a short time, I can't see what he's doing. But my sister told me that she could tell that he was trying. Even though he tries to be there for me and tells me everything, I still feel insecure and think that he's constantly cheating when he's not next to me. I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to think that he's cheating. He tells me what he does that day (because we've always done that), but for some reason, I think he's lying.
Is this going to take time for me to acknowledge/believe that he's not lying? Is it going to take time for me to regain trust for him? Do you have any advice on what I should do or any suggestions that would help? Thanks. (link)
| |
I don't know the specific actions that occurred to break the trust, but I'm going to try to the best of my ability to help. The only way for a relationship to work is to communicate. If there is no communication, you have nothing. Do you love him? If you do, then you will be trying your hardest to fix things. Trusting somebody again is hard, very difficult. I had that problem with my best friend where she lied and i tried so hard to trust her again, but i couldn't, it was too hard. If you feel like you have a whole lot of unnecessary stress because you can't trust, you need to break it off not matter how hard it is. Let me know if i can help you with anything else!
|
|
This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks (link)
| |
You make subtle hints that you're not into him like omg you are such a great friend and lightly slap him on the back. I have had many issues like this and the best way to make sure that he knows you're not into him is to confront him and say "sorry, i don't like you in the specific way that you like me, but i still want to be friends." I know that may seem very awkward, but if you feel uncomfortable, you must say something. You could also try talking about a cute guy that walks by or ask for guy advice about some guy you like. I hope this helps!
|
|
we are still best friends because we promised each other we would never let anything get in between us and you know this, we're inseparable and she comes off as clingy because she always wants me to hang out with her/come to her house, you and I both know that we rely on each other a lot. While it's not good that we do, you know it's a fact. it's a till the end thing you know? (link)
|
just be open minded
|
|
I recently started talking to my best friend again and I have been avoiding her. I have been scared to talk to her because we had a big fight over something ridiculous and I did not want to get into another one over the same topic. I felt comfortable with her the other day when I saw her and I felt happy again, just by seeing/talking to her even for a few minutes. But I was really mad at her for no reason during that same week. I really don't want my negativity to rub off on her and I don't want to get mad at her and then flat out take it out on her. I feel as if it's my impulse control disorder that makes me feel anger towards others and it prompts me to be mean to others (verbally,emotionally or mentally). I just want to be a good best friend for her. I want to be nice to her because she means the world to me. I want to let her know I care about her, even if she doesn't think so, but I really do. If anyone has advice on how to avoid taking out my anger on her, please, I would love to hear it! :) thank you! (link)
| |
I agree with the other person. Take a break from her especially since i know that you were in a relationship with her and how are you still best friends when you have barely talked in a while? You have to learn control and patience. You may not be good with change, but change is good for the long run.
|
Since I was 16, I've been on and off with this guy. I'm 20 and he's 22. It never turned into anything, we were just friends with benefits. We'd kiss and stuff and it was just when I wasn't dating anyone.
Sometimes I had feelings for him and sometimes I didn't. Sometimes he had feelings for me and sometimes he didn't. It was always bad timing.
Last year we started having sex rather than just messing around.
Around October he told me he doesn't want to have sex with a girl who's having sex with other guys. That was fine with me. So if we start seeing other people, then we stop sleeping with each other.
But then he started getting mad when I was out late with a guy and things like that. I had feelings for him at the time so I did tell him and he said he doesn't know how he feels.
Anyways, about a week later he told me he likes me. He said he knows our situation isn't normal but he does like me, ect. He asked me on a date and all that.
It's been a couple weeks now and we've barely talked. I asked if I did anything, he said he's just been "lost".
So I guess he's unsure of what to do and that makes me unsure where I stand with him and whether or not I should move on.
Our situation is far from normal and most people don't go from friends with benefits to a relationship. What makes it more difficult is that I'm very close to his family. His sister is my best friend and no one knows about us as it's a strong Christian family and we've just been messing around. So I get how this whole thing can be difficult for him and he's never had an actual relationship.
So the odds are stacked against us. But I realize I really like him and I don't know where to go from here. I've been getting asked out by guys and I just don't know where I stand.
Should I give him some time or just let it go? (link)
| |
From what you have said about him, he seems confused and this is very new for him. Friends with benefits is a very dangerous situation and messes with the heart. Kissing and having sex is a deep connection that can actually show how you really feel. I think you should discuss it with him. The only way you will know what to do is to talk to him about him and ask him what he wants and tell him how you feel. It is very tricky to go from friends with benefits where it seems like theres no feelings for each other to suddenly both having strong feelings toward each other, but it is possible. I know you came to this website for some one to choose for you, but the best advice I can possibly give you is do what you think is best for yourself. If you are a risk taker, risk the relationship. If you're scared, talk to him, but don't just walk away when he says something that. Don't jump into another relationship when you have feelings for him, it's not fair to you or the person you are dating. When someone feels a certain way and they've never felt this emotion before, its hard for them, very confusing and so fresh. You have to be patient with him and if he's worth it, go for it and just be considerate on how he feels. Tell me if any of this helped!
|
|
So basically I'm a girl who has a crush on her female friend. My friend has another best friend who she prefers more than me- but whether it's a crush or love, I defiantly like her more than a friend. But I've never been attracted to someone of the same gender before... I'm totally okay with being gay, but I'm just not sure if I am- and I'm not bi because (as I've said) this is the first time, and I know that she's not gay but is supporting of gay people, so do I tell her how I feel? Or continue to be the third wheel as I feel really sad, I don't know... Please no hate, I'm very young (13) and please serious answers... Thanks, Lea Wills xxx (link)
| |
This is a very important question that cannot just be answered at once. You are thirteen which means you are still figuring out who you are and who you're going to be and what road you want to travel down, so things can be a little confusing, but what i can say is nobody else can tell you how to feel or if you are ready to tell your friend how you feel, you have to decide for yourself. You do not know if she is gay or not, she is still young herself, so she is probably still trying to figure out who she is too. If you feel like you can't hide your feelings with her any longer, then tell her. If you would rather keep it a secret and you can live with only being friends with her, then keep it to yourself. This is your choice and nobody else's. Just know that whatever you decide is the right choice, it is still right. Let me know your thoughts.
|
|
