|
Is it hopeless or is it fixable?
To make a long story very short, I was in a relationship with this guy and we broke up about a month ago. The breakup was bad, because he broke up with me for another girl that he unintentionally got pregnant. He apologized later and I have since forgiven him. We started to become friends again, and it was good. A week or two goes by and he starts talking to me about liking this other girl. That would be fine in most circumstances, but he also said he still had feelings for me. That confused me for a while, but then I figured out how much of a liar he was in the relationship. The next week I told him that I still loved him and how I felt about his lying behavior. I told him because I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head and it was driving me crazy. After we talked about it, now he acts like we aren't friends. He says "we're cool" and there are no grudges or anything, but he won't hang out with me outside of the events I have to see him at. Those events are weekly, by the way, and now I'm left feeling like I have to pretend everything is fine in front of all of our mutual friends. Its not fine, and if those people knew what he did they may not want to be his friends. I know this sounds really messed up, but I still want to be his friend in spite of all the things we've been through. My real question is how do I go about rebuilding this friendship if I can? Should I apologize for telling him how I felt, and making him feel weird? I mean whatever I do, I know this guy will lie to my face, because I've caught him so many other times. However I don't want to loose a great friend I used to have, I've already lost him as a lover, I can't stand to loose him as a friend too. Is it hopeless, or is it fixable?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sweetheart, Don't get yourself mixed up with a guy like that. He is a liar, a cheat, and not a good friend at all. He will keep playing you for a fool regardless if you just want to be friends with him or not. Ask yourself if that is really someone that you want to be friends with. He should just be somebody that you use to know. Just like the song. Find a person who will treat you with respect. As far as your question goes your situation with this asshole is quite hopeless. He is not worth your time or effort. Also try getting to know someone better before you date them. Anyway find some new friends and move on. Forget about him. Anyway I hope my advice helps. Keep your chin up and have a great day.
]
Okay I'm going to be very blunt, simple, and honest. You don't need this guy he's a jerk. Your allowed to be honest about your feelings. If he were a real friend he would accept it and try to build a better friendship. Try to be come a better friend. But since he's not you shouldn't try to. Its not your fault don't apologize if the friendship was ment to be it will work but if its not it shall fall. That's all hopes this works out for you and Good luck in life.
]
There are a lot of things you need to sit back and think about before making a decision on what to do next.
Firstly, this whole lying thing he has going on. Now, I wouldn't want a friend who lies to my face. And you said you've caught him do it so many other times. So since you still want him in your life, he probably has other qualities that are actually good. But how can you rebuild anything with someone when they just lie? When can you trust them?
Besides that, I don't think you need to apologize for telling him how you felt. I don't see why. You were being honest with him and that's a really important thing in friendships. But apparently he doesn't think honesty is a big deal.
So if you've sat down and thought about these things and still want to keep him around for some reason, then you need to move on first. It's only been a month since you guys have broken up. That's not long at all. You're still hurt that you "lost him as a lover" so you still need some time.
My advice is to give yourself some more time to heal over everything that has happened. I know it'll be hard being around him and especially that you guys have mutual friends but you will have to act calm and cool like it's no big deal, even though it is a big deal to you. Just be cool, go out and have fun and don't worry about him right now.
Once you get past this stage, then you can decide whether you still want him as a friend and you can actually rebuild a friendship because you won't be wanting more than that.
If you want more than just a friendship, you'll never really rebuild it.
]
This is a very tricky situation that needs to be thought about and nobody can choose for you what exactly to do because they aren't you. You have to decide for yourself. What i can tell you is it sounds like either way there will be plus and minuses. If you stay friends with him, it may be awkward and not feel right and you may never trust him because you have know him to lie, but you will still have him as a friend. If you stop being friends with him, there will be no more drama. That might be hard to choose, but sometimes the hardest is the best choice. A lot of people may not like change, its new, there has to be adjustments, people like routines. So, if you are no longer friends, you have to adjust you have to move on and that can be difficult given the history you have, but it may be the best for the long run. Drama will be gone
Tell me what you think!
]
Well situations like this are hard to tell to me you should tell him how you feel about everything. Sometimes it can work out .if he really cares it will things like this take time. I think since he lies alot you should brace yourself, he might say things that could be hurtful and not mean them.. I do believe it could work out. I hope everything gets better!
]
More Questions: |