I'm a 19 years old male from the Netherlands. I'm in my first year of studying psychology at the university of Utrecht, and plan to major in clinical psychology. I'm interested in nearly anything, so I know a little something about a lot of different subjects. My areas of expertise lie in philosophy, religion and spirituality.
Gender: Male
Member Since: March 12, 2005
Answers: 71
Last Update: January 22, 2010
Visitors: 5586
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Ok, I'm a bit confused. Are condoms 90% effective or 98%?? And are they very easy to break?
Thankyou!!!! (link)
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As far as I know they only break during the act if she isn't wet enough and you didn't use enough lube, but that is a rather painful feeling for the girl anyway.
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Hi im 16/f and would appreciate if this question was answered by only guys around my age.
What are the top 5 things you look for in a girl?? Or the top 5 things you'd like your dream girl to have...??
Thanks
xox
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Hi.
Perhaps I'm a bit too old to answer this (19, nearly 20), but since girls tend to like older guys I'll try to answer your question anyways.
The five things I look for in a girl.
1. Looks
Well, any guy would be lying if he said looks don't matter. Looks are the first thing you percieve when encountering someone, so they put their mark on the impression you have of someone, and within all men, that mark is quite big. It doesn't mean you have to be a supermodel though. Just take care of yourself, keep your nails clean, dress nicely, stuff like that. You don't have to look perfect, just try to look the best you can
2. Fragrance
Scent is the most important when it comes to falling for someone. It's not about fancy expensive perfumes, it's about your natural scent (this doesn't mean you have to stop showering, you have to keep the scent fresh, so shower every one or two days). Of course you can help with some subtle deodorant or perfume, but don't overdo it.
3. Brains
I like smart girls. Not too smart, never smarter than I am, but I like it when she can keep up with my thoughts. A sense of humor is important too, but since most girls completely lack this I don't really look for it. If you're not smart, that can't be helped, but here's a tip to make people think you're smart: don't talk. And to become smarter: Ask a lot of questions. Contradictory? Yes. Try to figure out when to be silent and when to ask a lot.
4. Loyalty and trust
I think this speaks for itself. A girl must be loyal, she should trust me, and be nonjudgemental towards me.
5. Love
She has to love me, otherwise it's all in vain.
These 5 are not really in order from most to least important, they're all important for different aspects of the process from getting to know someone to being involved with that person.
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f/19
This has never happened before but lately I've started to have real trouble recognising people - sometimes somebody i know will come up to me and it'll take me a minute to work out who they are (obviously embarrassing!). The other thing that's happening is I keep on thinking I see someone I know (sometimes it's someone who couldn't actually be there, like they live on the other side of the country) and I really think it's them, but then I realise after looking at their face for a while, that it's not them. Any idea what's going on? Am i going mad?? (link)
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Well, your description could point to a lot of different things. You could be really pre-occupied (in love perhaps?) or stressed, it also could be a physical problem caused by genetics, taking a blow in the head, a virus, or use of alcohol or drugs. If you're using alcohol or drugs I'd advice you to stop that for a while to see if your condition improves. If you've been experiencing this condition for more than 4 weeks I would also go see a doctor. Seeing a doctor is never bad (unless it's bad for your wallet, I know it is in some countries).
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I have a problem with this woman that I used to be good friends with. I ended the friendship two years ago. I had to because she started to try to control me. She also ordered me around like her personal slave, took my kind nature for granted, spread mean gossip about me, broke into my email acount, and threatened to blackmail me if I ever got on her bad side. She was 46 and I was 25. She also acted really wierd and was telling people that she was my mother. She's never had children. I don't think she's mentally all there. Things got so bad that I quit the volunteer job we both worked at and put a block on my phone. She still to this day after 2 years bad mouths me at the center. I have a new paying job and it got back to me that she was trying to get my work schedule from my friend. I just want this psycho to leave me alone. How can I handle this? Someone even told me that I should bury the hatchet with her and contact her! I said no way. I also think that she wants to be my friend again. I would like to add that both my parents hate and and want me to have nothing to do with her. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for her and think I should give her a second chance. I really need someones advice! Thanks! (link)
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Give her a chance to do something to you, then let the law enforcement put her away.
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Well I used to like one of my best friends, I've known for 9 years so I had one of my friends tell him and it turns out he never thought of me as more than a friend. Now its like 7 months later and he's ignoring me and I miss him a lot.I dont like him anymore but I miss being his friend. What should I do? (link)
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Just talk to him or send him a letter or e-mail and tell him how you feel about it, tell him everything, that you miss him a lot and don't like him in that way anymore. It's all you can do, there's no trick or anything to get things the way they were before without awkward conversations.
Good luck.
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i have blonde hair blue eyes skinny tall smart popular and cute . i also play a ton of sports so why cant i get a good boyfriend like my last boyfriennd dumped me in one day.if you know why tell me i need to know (link)
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Because good boyfriends are hard to find. Most guys are all about sex and not about relationships or romance. It also depends a bit on your age though. If you're 12-18 you'll probably want a boyfriend who's two or three years older than you, because boys of your own age are just on a different level when it comes to relationships.
However, there are good guys, but getting into a relationship with them takes time. Most of them are a bit shy, so don't expect them to take the first step. Look for guys you are or could be close friends with and explore the possibilities of having something more than friendship with them. Take your time building things up, rome wasn't built in one day. Loyalty and trust are the base of every great relationship and those two take some time to develop.
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Well, I like this guy and one of my "friends" told him, but she said she didnt. I heard from about 6 people that she did but she keeps lying to my face about it. I'm not even mad that she told him just that she lyed to me. I even told her that I thought someone said they heard her telling him and she said "Well obviously this person doesnt want us to be friends if they're telling you this." What should I do? (link)
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Well, if it doesn't matter to you wether she told him or not, I think you'd best forget about the whole thing, and just be a bit more careful when it comes to trusting her. Obviously it means something to her that you think she didn't tell him, wether she did or not.
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I have two younger siblings. Some might say that I shoulk babysit them fir free, but I also cook, clean, and chase them around. I think I should get a little something. What do you think? (link)
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Well, it depends on how much allowance you get from your parents. If you do a lot of things for the family it's only fair you get at least some reward. If you think your allowance isn't high enough try some negotiating with your parents, it shouldn't be that hard to convince them that you deserve a little reward for the care you take of your siblings instead of going out or something.
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I usually sleep really well, but last night I didn't fall asleep until 2 o clock in the morning. I don't know why. I think it might've been because I was talking to this one guy and I really didn't want ot sign off and go to bed but I had too. So i was thinking about him and stuff and I couldn't sleep.
Does anyone have anything that might help me sleep?
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If you sleep well normally it's no big deal to miss some sleep one night, right?
Though to answer your question, things that might help you sleep. Drink something warm and sweet. Hot choco, warm milk with a spoon of honey or syrup, or some tea. Sometimes, if you're thinking too much to sleep, try listening to some soft music (I don't know what music you like, but the Chieftains or something celtic usually does the trick for me) when you're lying in your bed. Just let the music play wile you fall asleep.
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Ok i know it sounds totally weird because im so young (15 very soon) but my boyfriend wants to propose to me for my bday. Hes 17 and i know wont be able to get married for ages and so does he. I think hes still going to propose though. What should I do? We've been going out for 10 months. thanks xx
(Im female by the way...) (link)
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If or when he proposes, fall into his arms, hug and kiss him all over. Mentrion how sweet he is. Then tell him gently it's a bit too soon for you to even think about it, that you really love him and want to stay with him but that you just think you are too young to say yes to a proposal.
Young boys can be so sweet, but stupid. Be sure to treat him very gently so he won't feel too rejected. Convince him of the fact that you do think it's very sweet of him.
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okay i decided to shave 'down there' instead of trimming it and now i have little red bumps down there. how can i get rid of them and if i shave down there again are they going to come back? (link)
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I don't know if this is useful advice, but a girl told me cooling your area with very cold water before shaving helps prevent skin irritation.
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i have a ipod nano and i was wondering if i put lyrics into my ipod, would it take up space? (link)
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Any data takes up space. How much depends on the length of the lyrics, though text doesn't take up much space compared to music. I don't know what file types an Ipod nano accepts, but we're probably talking Kb's rather than Mb's
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Hi,
I have a dilemna. I have been dating someone for 9 months now.. he is in the UK and Im in Canada. Things are great between us. We get our usual squabbles now and then, but wat couple doesn't. Neways recently I had called him up at his work and asked for him. I got his father on the phone and he repeatedly told me to stay away from him becuase of so called caste differences. I am Hindu Punjabi and he is Hindu gujrati. I have mentioned this talk to my bf. and he told me not to worry about it and that he will sort things out.. but wat I don't get is why does everyone I get involved have this same attitude about caste and or religion. It is really frustrating.. Why can't parents just accept it and be happy for him/her. Any thoughts on that? and..how can I just egnore his father's words like that.. It hurts me alot.. for him to think like that.. I have never seen him in person nor does he know my personality.. I just don't get it (link)
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Parents with a strong cultural or religious background aren't easy people, and situations like this often end up in their children being forced to chose between their lover and their family.
I know it's hard, but try not to be angry about it, and don't let it get to you. Rahter feel sorry for him. Your boyfriend's father grew up with these ideas, they are embedded in his vision on the world, and the older you get the harder it is to change that. It's part of who he is, and though it sucks, you can't really blame a man for holding on to something he was brought up with and believed in for all his life.
It's very hard, and there's no easy solution. Trust your boyfriend, but don't forget about the subject and try talking about it with him after a while again. If the two of you are serious about your relationship and plan on marrying, be prepared because it might end up in some painful situations. But have faith, true love is totally worth it.
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Symptoms of Depression .
Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
"Some nights around midnight, I start crying thinking of how much i dont want to be here anymore. How much i miss my brother, and How much my dad bothers me. And how i feel so alone."
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
"I can never get to sleep, i have such a hard time."
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety
"I get mad pretty fast, and I worry over little things. And i think i have anxiety, early in the morning before to school, like about going to school."
Pessimism, indifference
Loss of energy, persistent lethargy
"I dont like many things, most of the time I'd rather just sleep away."
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness
"I do feel worthless, specially when im crying. And when i think of my brother, or see people in love, and i know I'll never have what they have."
Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness
"I think i have this some what, I can only concentrate when im intrested, but usally i cant just beacause im tired."
Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
"I get sick to my stomache Alot, and headaches alot."
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
"I think of suicide when im crying, or feeling really bad about something."
so yea, I dont think im depressed, but i have a few of the symptoma, do you think i have depression? (link)
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If you've been like this for a month or so, you might have one. However it's hard and dangerous to diagnose a depression over the internet. If this troubles you, I'd suggest seeing a counseler about it.
Take care.
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two years ago i started going out with this boy he was 15 i was like 16 i didnt really like him that much we had sh together in school and he would always sit behind me and pass me these pieces of paper that said things like your hott and whats your phone number i just thought he was a funny guy. well that summer we got closer and started dating. after a month i broke up with him bc i didnt think i liked him anymore, but things didnt end alltogether we became friends w benefits. then he started dating this other girl who im now best friends with. they recently broke up and now she has a diff bf. fri the 13th he asked me over and we had sex again. its been like 13 days and i havent heard from him and we havent talking in school either. what should i do or say to him? (link)
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Well, has he been ignoring you completely, like not even greeting you when he passes by?
He just got out of a relationship, God knows what goes around in his head now. Maybe he doesn't want to bother with beign nice and sensitive to girls, maybe it just doesn't occur to him to do that because he is walowing, you can't know.
You can either give him some time, or, take action yourself. He invited you over last time, so why don't you take some initiative this time and ask him over?
Whatever you do, remember that getting over a relationship is hard for anyone. One moment you want to be left alone, the next moment you want to forget your sorrow in the arms of another girl, and another moment you just want to cry until you're all dried up. Just try being a friend and be there for him if he lets you, and don't expect too much from him for a while. I think that's what he needs, and what would work best for the both of you in the long run.
Take care.
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I'm in 8th grade and in november I dated this kid in 7th grade. It was cool, it lasted for a month. But than he dumped me for like no reason. Then the night after that he called me back, begging for me to take him back, and I didn't. Now its been about 2 monthes, and he likes me again. HOw am I am going to deal with this? (link)
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It depends on wether you like him back or not. If you do you can consider it. But assuming you don't, just tell him there's no way you're getting back together again, and that he would better forget about you right away. He's just a kid, 12 or 13 years old, so he's just getting started in this relationships thing and probably experiments with how to handle them. This involves dumping and trying to get girls back. I don't say he's doing that on purpose, it's just how boys are.
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im not getting into detail,but i was sick for half of monday,tuesday,and today i took a day off,im pretty recovered. (stomach virus)i was vomiting quite a bit.The thing is,i couldn't eat,and i was already skinny (naturally,runs in the family)so now im REALLY skinny,i look really awful,and i am surpirised that in only two days i became very skinny.I am trying to eat much,but i need help on some foods that will make me fatter by tomarrow.NO JUNK FOODS PLEASE.some healthy things.this whole day is to rejuvinate myself.im so upset.(im 4"7,and i was 72 pounds,and now i am i think 67)13,f. (link)
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No one will give you strange looks for looking a bit weak after a stomach virus. Don't eat more than you feel like eating, and just eat like you did before. You'll recover just fine, but for me it works to eat more grains than normal if I want to regain some weight a bit quicker.
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Every guy in my grade thinks im prude. They Think im pretty and hot and all, but they wont date me becuase they think i wont do anything. I WILL though, i just am relly self consious and i always think there is something on my face or something when boys talk to me. How can i change this?! please help me :] (link)
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First of all, there's nothing wrong with a little prudeness, it's way better than sleeping with any guy that happens to walk by :)
Second, guys shouldn't date a girl because they want to get fuzzy with her, they should because they like you for who you are, including your lack of confidence.
As for that, self consiousness is very common among girls. Some hide it, some overdo it, but most girls are very self consious. There's no real trick for this, you'll just have to step over this and practice to not let it control your actions. You can learn to be more comfortable around guys as you spend more time with them. If it's really severe, there are support groups for this problem, but most girls don't need that, they just need to step over that. It's not an easy step but it gets easier every time.
To give a signal to the boys that you're not prude and willing to date, take initiative! Though most women wait for the men to take the first step, we men just LOVE it when a woman does. The downside to this is that getting rejected is bad for that confidence, but just remember that those boys think you're pretty, so there are probably enough guys who wouldn't reject you.
Good luck.
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im a girl. im trying to lose 10 pounds. i was just wodering what some good foods that would help/allow me to do this are. is there anything that will make it go faster or help me out more? what foods should i stay away from and what food is good when trying to lose weight? thanks. (link)
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Stay away from junk food like burgers and fries and basically everything macdonald's or similar companies serve. Even the salads are full of sugar.
Eat healthy portions of everything (meat, bread, vegetables and fruit, and dairy products). Try to eat enough (1600-1800 callories for an adult woman). If you're used to eating more, drink water and chew gum to calm your apetite. Also, don't drink too much alcohol. Beer puts on a lot, but all alcohol makes most people hungry.
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I am stressed out! *sigh* I'm a sophomore, and in my state we have to take the graduation test this year. The tearchers are like "The graduation test is in March!! You must know everything!!!" Also, I have my permitt. I like driving and all...but I'm nervous. My sister (age: 10) doesn't help me much either... all I hear from her is "Help me!" I spend an hour riding to school, then spend 8 hours at school, then the hour ride back. Then I have to eat my dog or cat (my sister and I take turns), then I have to help my sister with any homework she has. Also, I'm getting worried about my grades. No, I'm not failing. I am getting mostly B's...but it seems like I'm not doing good enough.
*laughes* You want to know something sad? My birthday is a week before the graduation test, and the day before the gradution test is the earliest I can take my driver's license. -_- Lucky me, huh?
Does any one have stress management advice...or any kind of advice. ^__^ Thanks!!! (link)
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The best advice is: calm down. Relax, you've made it to sophomore, B's are good grades, you'll probably do just fine if you calm down about it a bit. IF you're afraid you don't have enough time, you might want to talk to your parents and your sister to see if she can get help with her homework somewhere else for a while. It's her homework, she shouldn't be depending on you to make it.
You could try making a schedule, and stick to it, to manage your time between driving, studying, and other things you want to do. You can also consider taking your driver's license at a later date. That test can't be postponed, and it's much better to spread stressful events.
But most of all, just take it easy, have some herbal tea. If something goes wrong, it goes wrong, it won't be the end of the world as you can always take another shot at things.
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