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I just want this woman to let me be
I have a problem with this woman that I used to be good friends with. I ended the friendship two years ago. I had to because she started to try to control me. She also ordered me around like her personal slave, took my kind nature for granted, spread mean gossip about me, broke into my email acount, and threatened to blackmail me if I ever got on her bad side. She was 46 and I was 25. She also acted really wierd and was telling people that she was my mother. She's never had children. I don't think she's mentally all there. Things got so bad that I quit the volunteer job we both worked at and put a block on my phone. She still to this day after 2 years bad mouths me at the center. I have a new paying job and it got back to me that she was trying to get my work schedule from my friend. I just want this psycho to leave me alone. How can I handle this? Someone even told me that I should bury the hatchet with her and contact her! I said no way. I also think that she wants to be my friend again. I would like to add that both my parents hate and and want me to have nothing to do with her. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for her and think I should give her a second chance. I really need someones advice! Thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Make it clear that if she doesn't leave you alone you will get a restraining order. If she continues, get a lawyer involved. Out-of-control bitches cannot be tolerated, and must be put down immediately.
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two words- restraining order
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People with those kind of problems can get better, but it takes time and professionals, and you are not equipped to help her. Your friendship is only going to provoke her.
This is a risky situation, so I would calculate your decisions carefully. Is she the type that will do something violent to get something she wants? It's good that you are moving on with your life, but giving her that second chance is going to put you right where you started. Ignore her completely, and let your family, friends, and contacts know the situation, without bad mouthing her (calling her stalker, etc) or she will have a reason to confront you. If you think you or your friends are in danger, let the police or some one that is able to help her know.
It's probable that you will never be friends with her again, but the important thing you should get out of this is your life back and that she gets better.
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Give her a chance to do something to you, then let the law enforcement put her away.
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Stalker, control freak "friends", are not friends at all. She is obviously mentally unstable and is angry that you left the relationship, so she is trying to punish you by telling lies/spreading rumors about you. Under NO circumstances are you to contact her. This is what SHE wants, so do not give her the satisfaction. The people that she talks to about you are bound to know what type of person she is and will not hold too much stock in her 'rantings' about you. Keep your mind on your new job and let go of her. If she is trying to get your new work schedule, let others know that you do not want to see her. If she shows up at your job or calls you on the phone...do NOT give in and be nice to her. Have someone with you if possible, look her directly in the eyes and say, "I am uncomfortable being around you and do not want any other contact with you. Do not come to/call my job again, or I will report you to the people in charge here." I know it sounds hard, but I have done it myself. I had a "stalker" ex-friend that would drop by my classroom, whenever she was at the school to visit her daughter. I told her, while standing by a fellow teacher of mine, that I wanted to be left alone and for her to go on with her life. She was nervy and persistant. I repeated 'NO' over 6 times and she finally left. There are still possibilities that she can show up again at my school and when she does I'll repeat what I have said to her before, "You just don't get it do you?! I want you to go away and leave me alone." It seems cruel, and I'm sure you are the type of person who does not want to hurt someone's feelings. This woman is not normal and you need to cut her off firmly. She is a bully and will keep pushing you until she sees that you mean business. BE strong. {Read the 14th question and answer, after yours, in my column to see a similar situation that someone else was experiencing, too.}
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Personally, I think you're right to want to avoid this woman. I would go talk to your boss and let them know before-hand what's going on. It will save you some trouble in the future if she starts coming in to your job and trying to badmouth you. Let your family and friends know that they are not to give out any information about you to this woman. Continue to ignore her. Keep a log of when she tries to contact you. If she gets ahold of your number and calls, let the answering machine or voice mail pick up and then save the messages. Let the authorities know what's going on. If she continues after you've contacted the authorities and they've warned her, she can be arrested for harassment. Good luck. I hope this situation resolves quickly.
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I think you should tell her why you stopped being her friend and that if she wants to be friends again then she needs to work on those problems if she continues to bad mouth you then tell her " I kno y u say things to me u r jealous " and then alk away do it in front of people and it will make a bigger impact tell her nobody thinks shes cool because she bad mouths sum1 obviously you kno how to handle urself in a mature way and she juss doesnt if it doesnt stop you can contact the police for harrassment and/or get a restraining order filed against her srry this was so long
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