I love helping people out and I feel great giving advice to people out there I don't even know. It gives me great personal satisfaction knowing that the answers I give are pretty damn good. I have a cheery personality and I like art and music. I am not religious, but have a clear view of spirituality. I will never grow up completely, I clearly remember what it's like to be a teen, but now I have a much better perspective on how to get through it all because let me tell you, I have BEEN through it all. Glad to help any way I can...
Gender: Female
Location: New Hampshire
Occupation: homemaker:mommy
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2004
Answers: 132
Last Update: January 9, 2005
Visitors: 9525
Main Categories:
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I'm going into my second semester of college and I live in a dorm with two bedrooms where I have one roommate and two suite mates. All four of us became very close and have had a good first semester. Unfortunately, my roommate is now moving out to go to a different school and I will be having my friend move in with me next semester. My friend I have known for 18 years and we have had many fights and many good times. Over first semester, my long time friend and I have had our discrepencies even when we didn't live together and my suite mate has heard me talk about it all so she thinks she already has an idea on what type of person my friend is. Although I had previously asked my suite mate if she cares that my friend will be moving in and she said no, she now says she doesn't think she can live with her because they won't "get along". The problem is, my friend has already moved her things in and there is no turning back. I just don't think my suite mate has even given my friend a chance so I would like to know what I can to do help solve this situation and make sure we all have a great second semester. Thanks so much! (link)
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Don't have your friend not move in on account of your suite mate. Your suite mate may just be taking the change hard since the other four of you kicked it off so good the first semester. Now with one leaving and a newbie entering, it will take getting used to and that's easy for some and harder for others. Try to ask your suite mate to try and get along, because you don't know until you try. If things don't go too well, then that's between them, really. All you have to do is enjoy the company of your friend and hopefully no bad times will come of it. If your suite mate gets mad at you about it, um, well, it's Oh Well for her. Hope everything works out for you all.
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Me and my best friend liked the same guy, so I decided to back off of him so she could have him. He started liking her, then she told him she didn't want a boyfriend. Tonight at a b-ball game I hung out with him alot and he started liking me and then at halftime my friend came up to me and said "Damn, Andy looks hott tonight" and so I was like..crap. I don't want her to be mad at my, but I like this guy and he likes me, but I don't want it to like mess with our friendship. Its not like I'm going to go out with him right away, I want to get to know him and all....but what should I do? (link)
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Your friend can think he's hot, it's okay, maybe her decision that she doesn't want a b'friend still stands. She made that decision and it's good that you decided to take things slow with this guy. Best way to go. If she gets mad at you if you do end up going out with him, remind her that she decided not to be with him. Or try checking with her first before you two really become an item. But just because she said no, it shouldn't influence your chances. Unless maybe she said no to him so she wouldn't hurt YOUR feelings. Looks like you need to talk to your friend first and find her true feelings. If she is still interested in him, then that's when you'll need to consider your friendship with her before jeopardizing it.
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so im 20yrs old and i just had a son with a 18 yr old. hes been doing really good with coming over (we both live with our parents) anyways, the problem is that once in awhile he'll say hes coming over and then doesn't even show up or call to say what's going on...i dont understand a little bit because i had talked to him about it and he agreed that calling would be the best thing and he also agreed that he should be calling when plans change, yet somehow he still seems to do it>>he'll tell me the night before that he's coming over and then just not show and not call me until the next day and talk as though nothings up...its bugging me so much i tried talking to him now what do i do??? (link)
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Yeah, he's just being immature about the whole thing. This is not fair to you. If he is doing this to you right now, then he will be doing this to your son as he grows up. Not fair to either of you. In order to stop this pattern early before it creates any emotional damage to your son later on, you need to tell him, "First you need to learn to show up when you say you are going to, and at the very least call if you can't make it. If you cannot do this then don't bother comming here. You need to be emotionally stable for our son and if you are not in this wholeheartedly, then you can send me $$$ for this child and nothing more." If the talking doesn't work like you said it hasn't been, then the only thing left is this ultimatum. Your son's future with his father is at steak here. If the father can't be there for him stabily, then don't confuse the poor little guy with now you see him now you don't. It's up to the two of you.
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my bf is hidding behind being shy!
we have a son that was just born on halloween and he still hasnt got a job! i need help and he agreed to help, right now my parents are paying for everything and i dont know how to make him get a job, hes 18 years old...the only job hes ever has i got for him he didnt have to work for it so he doesnt know how to get one and ive tried to teach him but still doesnt go and get a job...i dont know what to do...how can i make him get a job but still be nice about it. (link)
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You must consider that your child now comes even before your relationship with the father. You kinda need to crack the whip and say, "Hey, I need your help here, you need to do your part, I am doing mine. It's not fair to me that you can just decide to sit on your ass. Time is up, the baby is here and you need to be a father to him by getting a job and supporting him financially. Time to be responsible by choice of your own, or the courts will take over in making you get a job when I have no choice left but to hit you up with child support. That's the last thing I want to do, so please help me out here. This responsibility should not have to fall on my parents. We made this child together, and we are going to take care of him together or pay the consequences." I really hope he gets smart about this for you. Having this baby should have changed him already, he should have gotten a job while you were still pregnant, so don't rule out legal matters; be prepared for them. It may be the only thing that can help what comes first in your life now...your child.
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omg! i can't stand my retarded little sister! she whined becuase i was doing a dance with my friend and wouldnt put her in it so i tried to put her in it and let her help me practice. I was already in kinda a bad mood and she knew it. then when i tried to teach her the moves i had and get some new ones from her she wouldnt be serious for 2 freakin seconds!!! she KNOWS when i want to make a dance im serious about it and dont like to play around. its just how i am. i mean, when im hyper playing around is great. but i am tired and in a p-o'd mood and she knew it. yet she still couldnt be serious. I know it wasnt trying to make me laugh because i have known her all of her pathetic life and I can tell when its trying to make me laugh and when its not...and it wasnt. sry this is long. plz and thank you 4 any advice on how to get her to be more serious and actually help me with this. (link)
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First, try and understand that she is trying to have herself a little fun. She sees that you're having fun doing what you're doing and when she does it, her idea of fun gets mixed in. Then tell her, "I know you're just trying to have fun, but dancing is important to me and if you can't take it seriously most of the time, then I can't have you in this dance. You can have fun being serious about this too because then you get to see how good the dance comes out, but if you can't control yourself, you will not ruin this for me. The choice is yours." I have a younger sister, so I understand how they can get in the way sometimes. Don't hate her, just give her an ultimatum.
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but yea, me and this guy have been friends for a couple months...well, when we first met we were friends and were talking for like a week then we kinda lost touch for like 2 months...now i see him 1-2 times a week and sometimes more. and he hasnt plain out said he likes me..but he has tried to meet up with me (even suggested it) and he has told me he wants to kiss me sometime and that he wouldnt mind it if i kissed him. he has also directly told me that he "likes a girl that makes the first move" this sounds perfect doesnt it? well, prob is...hes got a gf. he gives me a hug almost everytime we see each other. i catch him looking at me and everything. we talk almost every night on the computer. we have already met up and kissed twice. he knows how i feel about him. and if anyone is interested i will tell ya about this one girl that has latley been flirting with him cuz she knows i like him, ill give ya the background story on her & why else i hate her. and whenever i go to kiss him i get really really nervous..i dont wanna be nervous. i wanna be able to just kiss him and not even think about it. and im constantly thinking about him. I can't help it. Ive liked him since we met. hes awsome...what can i do? how can i get him to like, tell me he likes me without plain out asking him? How can I be not nervous? and how can i get him away from everyone at the youth group so i can talk to him?? (and maybe more) (link)
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Honey, you guys obviously like each other, but you need to stop kissing him until he breaks up with this other girl. Tell him that you really like him and enjoy kissing him, but shouldn't if he's with this other girl. It seems like you should be comfortable enough to say this to him. That will make him think and consider doing what he truely feels...perhaps that would mean breaking up with that girl for you??? :) So keep on being his friend, hugs are okay, but make sure you say to him what I said and whatever is supposed to happen will happen.
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ok, my ex boyfriend was at my house last week hanging out with my brother, he stayed the night and in the morning im like "Hey, wanna sign my jeans" cuz i was having everyone sign them. he said sure...and he signed them saying "luv you always, Gary" then 2 nights ago he told me that he wanted my best friend back (he was her first bf and he really liked her but she broke up with him) but yea, then he made a crying face and said "Bryanna!!!!" and did another crying face (this was on a messenger) and he has no idea how much it hurt and confused me. I mean, he writes luv you always on my pants then he says he wants them. He confuses the hell outta me and I don't know what to do about it. when i ask him how he feels he just says he doesnt know. Theres obviously no point in asking him how he feels anymore. So how can I find out? I have seen him look at me a couple times but I guess it didnt mean anything. plz help. thanks 4 reading this, its kinda long lol (link)
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He may be the one that is confused. He may like both you and your friend for different reasons but may not act on it in consideration of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. I guess try not to read too much into everything he says or does and just remember he's confused. He definately likes you, but something is making him stuck. You don't need to find out if he likes you because the answere is that he does, but something is holding him back for one reason or another. Don't force any decisions on him because that could steer him away from you. Just be around for him, be the chic that you are and hopefully things will smooth out for him and he can figure out what to do. But it's him that has the work to do, not you. Good luck!!
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What's the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone to you guys? I'd appreciate some of your opinions.
JyNxiE (link)
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Loving someone is accepting a person for who they are and caring a great deal about them. Being "in love" is a very strong, overwhelming emotional feeling that can bring tears to your eyes, butterflies in your tummy, constant happy daydreams of this person, and no signs of these feelings going away. Hope this was a pretty clear description for you!
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Okay, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 weeks. We have gone out for the same amount of time before, and I was the one that broke it off. I didn't feel it was right to go out with him when I just wanted to be friends. Well now, I am not happy in our relationship... AGAIN. He is not supportive at all, and I am the kind of girl that likes the single life. I don't like spending time with him, and I don't feel like there is butterflies in my stomach at all when I see him. But I will feel bad for breaking up with him AGAIN, and everybody will be mad at me and call me a whore. Should I break up with him anyway, or stick with him and make myself happy?
(link)
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One of MY biggest regrets in life has been to stay in a relationship out of pity. Don't do it!! It would be completely unfair to yourself, and yourself and your happiness is what comes first!! Don't be afraid of breaking any hearts! If I could give advice to my younger self, I would say the same. Easier said than done, but in the end you will see that this decision has the best outcome. As for the other person hurting, you are not responsible even if you made this decision. Afterwards you will be highly respected and envey'd. Believe me. If I could tell my past self this, I would be greatful for this advice. Good luck, sweetie!!
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I think I need to get over this guy. I've liked this boy for a really long time and we have went out before and we have done stuff. But the thing is he always likes me obsessively and then stops talking to me for a while, then over and over and over again. I'm pretty much sick of it but I think everytime he comes around I like him more and become more attached. I like sooooo much but I don't think I need this. How do I just get over him? Everytime I really try and start to really do, that's when he comes back to me and catches me again. There is no way I can really just stop him or stop myself from liking him. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks (link)
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Wow, I hope I can help you, because I have the same problem with something and someone...let's see...Yeah, it's really hard to read these kind of people, the on-again, off-again kind. I guess what I've been doing is just living my life and trying to figure things out as I go along. I keep on being myself and I don't let anyone change who I am. I write poems when I am in deep passionate thought about this person. Try to do things to keep you busy when you are irritated by the situation. Don't give up just yet on this person, as annoying as it all is, until this person does something to really deceive you. I can tell you there is no "off button" to stop liking this person, your feelings are real and uncontrollable. Only give up if there is intentional pain caused unto you...until then, sigh, and cry, and hope, and imagine all of the possiblities.
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Hi, I'm a girl, freshman, and I am 14.
I have been dating my boyfriend, who is 15, for about a month and three weeks. It was perfect at first and just went down. I don't know what happened. We went to the movies and had a great time, but it got worse and he stopped talking to me. I wondered what was wrong. My friends told me that he was a crack head and shouldn't go out with him, but I liked him so I didn't listen. We had tons of fun. I got tons of pictures with me and him together. I also have his sweater at home. But recently he has had a flirting problem and flirted with every girl in front of me. I got mad and sad and ended up getting my friends to talk to him for me. My friends said he was going to break up with me. I was so sad. Then they said he wanted to dump me because I'm too immature. My friend said he was cheating on me, but I wouldn't believe it. He also made me cry by joking around with me saying he would break up with me a few times and he told like a lot of people he made me cry at school.
Today my life ended and he dumped me. I ended up crying my heart out. After school I talked to him and asked why. He said I acted like a baby. I was sad. Then this girl came up and asked if he was coming to her house. I was shocked! I couldn't believe it. The next thing I knew they were walking around holding hands like lovers. I yelled FU at them, but I don't think they heard it. Then I was so pissed off. My bus came. I got on it. I was so mad and started yelling FU and flipping off everyone out of the bus window and started crying to death; thinking about that girl and the good times we had together. Then I saw him walking with the girl far away. I flipped them off, but they didn't see. After that I cried so much on the bus for about an hour and I seriously almost threw-up.
This is the worst day of my life. I can't stop thinking about him because I still love him so much. He was so nice and sweet. I don't think I will ever get over him. Can someone please just give advice how I can get over him because I don't think I ever will and just thinking about him makes me cry and feel like I'm about to get sick even more...
Thanks so much for the help....
(link)
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Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry, what a pain in the ass situation...let me try and help anyway I can...
I think he dumped you only because of surrounding chatter, chatter that influenced him to do so. There seems too much conflicting energy around the two of you and you are not thinking of yourselves and the importance of your relationship together right now because of it. This relationship is definately fixable. What it's gonna take is a bit of remorse from your (ex) b'friend, companionship, and communication. Communication is key. Ask him, "dude, what's goin on, there seemed nothing significant wrong with what we had, what's the deal??" The thing is; is if he continues to be a dick and unapproachable, then you're gonna need to move on. If he is willing to work with you, then it is worth saving. This is exactly what you need to base all of this on. If he chooses to be a dick, then, trust me, the end of his path will be a dead end. If he's all cool about it, then you've got a keeper. You know what to do now; go at it and the best of luck!!
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ok, first off, my friends are mostly all girls and they are very pretty girls but, they are like my sisters and they really dont want to go out with me cause were so close. We do everything together, we've been to each others houses many times and met each others parents. Soon were gonna have dinner together and still were just real good friends. They all say that i need a girlfriend and i kinda agree. But, i know and am good friends with most of the girls at my school and the others, im kinda holding bak because ive been rejected once and it wasnt pretty and i dont want it to happen again. WAT DO I DO!!! (link)
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If you are only considering choosing a g'friend because your other friends suggested you do so, then it would be for the wrong reasons anyway. If you are content with your life and your choices right now, then chill with that. If you personally want a g'friend and you're forcing yourself to choose, then hang out most with the person you enjoy being around the most. You are also carrying around the fear of rejection; yeah it's gonna happen, but good things will happen too...you need to open every package to find out, if you don't open it up you'll never see what's inside. Hope I was helpful even if just a little:)
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At the school dance the other night, i danced with one of my good friends who i found out liked me..and he's going to ask me out. I like him a lot as a friend and i think that I would like to give dating him a shot. Trouble is, my best friend really likes him. He doesn't like her in that way, and my best friend is a great friend to me and everybody else...now people are telling me that i shouldn't have danced with him because it was a mean thing to do to my best friend.What do i do about this whole situation? (link)
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The people that are telling you that you shouldn't have danced with him are just feeling bad for your friend, don't take offense. But you should really just do what you want UNLESS your friend has literally been obsessing over this person and is actually finding a way for him to notice her and things like that; yeah, that would be a little mean to steal him in front of her face like that. That happened to me before and I didn't like it too much. I was very mad at my "so-called" friend even though I hid my anger. Anyways, think of your friend first, how much she really likes him and stuff and base your decision on that. If he asks you out and you shouldn't go out with him just tell him that you're content right now and are not looking for a guy, or unless you think of something better to say, I recommend saying the truth. Hope I helped and good luck!
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I feel lately that I am a fake Christian. I say I believe in Jesus, God, etc., but I just am not very knowledgable about Christianity on the whole. All I know is, when I'm talking to God, or the few times I go to church, I am very happy, because I do know that God and Jesus love me. And my family - they all believe and everything, we're just not the most religious people, I guess. But I realize that we need to truly accept Jesus into our hearts in order to enter Heaven, and I don't even feel truly like I've done that yet. I've never brought it up with my family, but I really want all of us to get to know God and Jesus so that I can expect to meet them in Heaven, because this is kind of a priority. But how do I do this without basically saying, "Okay, here we go, we are going to believe in this whether you like it or not"? I know that sometimes people get kind of offended because they think I force my ideas about religion upon them... Sorry for the long question - I rate! (link)
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Yeah, a lot of people are kinda sensitive when it comes to religion and beliefs. That is because religion is kind of personal. Start with yourself. Begin to pray. Pray everyday. Pray for the forgiveness of your sins. You will then have a clean slate. Pray for Jesus to enter your daily life. In everything you do thereafter, remember that Jesus is with you. Pray for the strength to have faith. Then, you may pray for everyone you love and whom you wish to share this belief and way of life and love. Read the bible. Learn prayers and sing hymns if you really want to get into it. As you pray for your loved ones to join you in your new faith, bring it up little by little. Express the importance of a little prayer here and there. Bring up "WWJD?" (What Would Jesus Do). If a situation is goin on ask someone you love, "What would Jesus do in this situation?" That is always a good lesson. Yes, try lessons without the preaching. Maybe sometime down the road your family will be ready for church and/or lessons in Christianity. Open up the idea to them as gentle as you can and slowly. I hope you get everything you are hoping for. Also, it is the Christmas season...the absolute most perfect and beautiful time to bring about religion. Get creative, let the heavens into you and your family's lives and enjoy all of it's happiness. In my case, I have personal beliefs that I keep to myself because my family is not big on religion either. I pray for them though and I feel good about that. If you believe you can get them to follow you, then that's great. Go with it. The best of luck, I don't know too much either about religion, but I hoped I helped in some way!!
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im 14/female. i used to have this really good friend. we could talk about anything. he was like my big brother. well lately (in the past few months) we've grown apart so much. we can't talk to each other about anything and i get mad at him over little things. i don't know why our relationship is changing so much. i miss how things used to be. any ideas why things are happening like this? any advice on what i should do? (link)
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I wish I knew the answer to that. It just seems like the excitement spills out of every exciting relationship after some time. My guess would be look into ideas to research to help rekindle a friendship flame. I know that's not much help, but the truth is this happens for like the rest of our lives with most non-relative relationships. It sucks. Hope things get back to normal!
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i'm 16 and my lil sis is havin her 13th birthday on december 19th.. she is soo pumped and doesnt really have any ideas for one. i threw a surprise for her last year so i dont wanna do that again.. she has a lot of friends and i guess shes one of the popular girls in her school so i want it to be big for her.. any one got any ideas.. cuz im not doing to good and i want this to be the best ever! x33always! me* (link)
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Turn your home (or one room in your house) into the "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!" Make her feel really important and make sure there is a "bar" with stocked soda where she can go to drink, munch on crackers, and talk with someone she digs. Have a D.J. corner all worked out (CD's in the player and a pile to listen to). Decorate with lights (strobe, lava lamps, etc.) and accessories (props, party decor, beaded curtains) and have like a couple beanbags around. Try using a theme! Like a hawaiian dream, or a winter wonderland...the ideas could be endless!! Pick an idea and go with it, just give her and all her friends something to talk about for the rest of the school year!! Hope I gave you some inspiration...also, good for you for trying to give your sister a good time.
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we just started going out and i have a feeling that he has girls that he flirts with and makes out with and stuff. I know he likes me and i like him so much but i'm affraid he just wants to have sex with me. I cant talk to him about because he gets all touchy.What should i do? (link)
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I know you like him, but I think you like a player. But maybe he just needs some time to mature. If you stick by him though (as long as you don't find out he's cheating) and make sure that he gets the message somehow that sex isn't the one and only thing you're after, then it could be all good. It's a situation that will require careful manuevering. Also, consider his personality. Is it playful and friendly, or does it seem seductive and untrustworthy? Go with your instincts and decide and I hope it all turns out okay!
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ok so my ex boyfriend and i have been on and off for a little over 4 years. i did see other people in between but its not the same. he has been my best friend for what seems to be my whole life. i have been able to go to him for everything. well a year ago November we got back together and things were great. he means everything to me. i love him more then anything and i know that he truly loves me.. however things got rough this past September and we broke up again. i dumped him. but we promised to be best friends still. for a while things were still great. like we still hooked up and kissed and everything but i don't want to be friends with benefits. but i cant help it when im with him. so last week the week of November 15th was great. we hung out Monday, Wednesday(what would have been 1 year) and then Saturday. Wednesday was the best. i mean he told me he loved me and everything but then Saturday he was a jerk. we hooked up and i told him i loved him and hes like i know u do. but was gay about it. he ended up leaving shortly after. then we didn't talk all week. till i called him Friday upset needing someone to talk to and he couldn't be there for me. then on Saturday i told him again that i really needed him and hes like well im busy. BLAH! i cant take this anymore. its like he cares about me but he doesn't show it. he never calls me anymore like he promised he would and like how tings were b4 we got back together. what should i do? im not happy anymore. i want to express myself to him and tell him how im hurting but i don't know how to. i don't want to stop talking to him cause he has always been my best friend but its like i have too. i don't know what to do. please help me! (link)
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It seems like you're the only one who wants to try to take things seriously and play no more games but he's not putting as much effort as you. Who knows what he's thinking. But you have a way into his head. Just try talking to him. This seems like one confusing relationship which is why, myself, I never stuck around for those kinds because it's more of a commitment rollercoaster that is more work than worth it. It's up to you, keep trying and chasing if you like, but it may not end very soon. And it could feel like a very long dragged out ending. I hope not, so you guys need to talk and talk about things that matter like how much work is he willing to put into your relationship weather it's friends or more and how you don't want to deal with the back and forth anymore, that it's too much. At that point you can't start pointing fingers at each other though, or it's going to be an endless circle of the blame game. And on your part take it back a notch with that reading into every mood he has. He is human with ups and downs, so are you. If you are such good best friends then you know that best friends are willing and able to work through things but also to give each other some breathing room and room to grow and become. Finding the strength to allow that is being a good friend in itself. On top of that, a good friendship is a solid foundation for a beautiful boy/girl relationship. I hope I helped a little. Hope everthing smoothes out for you:)****
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i have an AWESOMe friend. i am 1 year older than him and we arent going out. his mom says he is not old enough to have a GF but she is insisting for us to go to the movies together. i LOVE him but i dont know if he LOVES me... i know that he likes meeh but i dont kno!!! please help me!!!! i beg u!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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It's all good, just hang out with him and have your fun together. Everything will fall in place. If he likes hanging out with you, then he will often and being seen together all the time with one guy is a couple-like thing so then others will label you "g'friend/b'friend" after some time. and then you will know if he likes you for real or you could just come out and ask him. Just enjoy being with him for now.
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I've been having these visions in my sleep that it's going to become the end of the world by next Friday. I wake up in a cold sweat and see pink gay bunnys everywhere. Then all the sudden the damn rabbits start making out with my pillow. Then the frisky lil things take out bb guns and start shooting my TV. My house then catches on fire, causing the next house to burn up too (some how, i don't know how, though). ...and so on. Then the whole US is on fire. Our president, bush, thinks we're getting bombed by iraq so we go to another deadly war. Then china launches a gigantic nuclear fusion for the hell of it, and the world blows up.
But some how I manage to survive bc/ i can breathe in outter space. Then, I rule the universe! Muhahahaha
What should I do about these dreadful nightmares?
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hey, that's cool shit!! No but really my thought would be that maybe you have inner anxiety's about terrorism and the current worries of America today and the safety of the people. If you can afford one try a dream reader person. My advice was free and I'm pretty good at interpreting dreams, but if I'm wrong then I don't know, sorry. But usually reacurring dreams mean anxiety over something. Is something in your life going down the tubes? The meaning doesn't necessarily have to do with the movie playing inside your head. That's why dreams need to be interpreted. Good luck figuring that one out.
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