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boyfriend saying hes coming, then not showing up
so im 20yrs old and i just had a son with a 18 yr old. hes been doing really good with coming over (we both live with our parents) anyways, the problem is that once in awhile he'll say hes coming over and then doesn't even show up or call to say what's going on...i dont understand a little bit because i had talked to him about it and he agreed that calling would be the best thing and he also agreed that he should be calling when plans change, yet somehow he still seems to do it>>he'll tell me the night before that he's coming over and then just not show and not call me until the next day and talk as though nothings up...its bugging me so much i tried talking to him now what do i do???
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You need to find out what is going on because it sounds like he's hiding something...
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The problem is that your boyfriend is still a teenager and therefore more immature than you. Are any of his friends fathers? It may be that he is trying to live a normal life and perhaps trying not to think about the fact he is a father. Could any of his friends be making him go out with them instead of coming round to see you and the baby? You have to be careful and not talk to him as if you're trying to make him choose between his friends and his baby. You should be quite stubborn and, if he says he is coming round and doesn't then next time he says he is coming round say you are going out or something. He shouldn't just be able to turn up whenever he wants. You should arrange a specific day or time when he can come over and if he abuses that by not turning up then the next time he is supposed to come over, go out with the baby so you are giving him a taste of his own medicine. I know two wrongs don't make a right but you need to let him know that it takes two to be parents and he cannot have his way all the time. Daisy
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Yeah, he's just being immature about the whole thing. This is not fair to you. If he is doing this to you right now, then he will be doing this to your son as he grows up. Not fair to either of you. In order to stop this pattern early before it creates any emotional damage to your son later on, you need to tell him, "First you need to learn to show up when you say you are going to, and at the very least call if you can't make it. If you cannot do this then don't bother comming here. You need to be emotionally stable for our son and if you are not in this wholeheartedly, then you can send me $$$ for this child and nothing more." If the talking doesn't work like you said it hasn't been, then the only thing left is this ultimatum. Your son's future with his father is at steak here. If the father can't be there for him stabily, then don't confuse the poor little guy with now you see him now you don't. It's up to the two of you.
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tell him that your son gets upset when you tell him that daddies coming over and when he doesnt show he crys. tell him you wont let him see his son anymore if this keeps happening because you dont want to see your son upset because of him.
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