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boyfriend hidding behind shyness
my bf is hidding behind being shy!
we have a son that was just born on halloween and he still hasnt got a job! i need help and he agreed to help, right now my parents are paying for everything and i dont know how to make him get a job, hes 18 years old...the only job hes ever has i got for him he didnt have to work for it so he doesnt know how to get one and ive tried to teach him but still doesnt go and get a job...i dont know what to do...how can i make him get a job but still be nice about it.
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how about this, dont be nice about it. tell him to get off his lazy ass and get a job. actualy getting a job is preatty hard so you should help him with applications and such. im 18 and today is actualy my first day of work (in exactly 1 hourr lol) seriously its hard to get a job but he should still have one.
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talk to him. lay down the laws. if he doesn't listen you just got to be even harder on him.
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I don't think you can be nice anymore - you need to tell him that he has a son he needs to support! You need to get him to wake up - hes just trying to get away from the responsibility and you cant let him do that anymore! Be firm with him and tell him he NEEDS to get a job and explain to him why. Then send him out job-hunting!
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Does he live with your parents also. If so send him back home your parents have enough with you and you child. If he is allowed to live without having to work then he will continue living and not working.
As your parents for help in handling this problem
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tell him that u have a son which is a big responsibility and that you need to be able to support it..good luck x33 aMaNda
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its his responsibility to his son and to YOU to provide. tell him that.
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You must consider that your child now comes even before your relationship with the father. You kinda need to crack the whip and say, "Hey, I need your help here, you need to do your part, I am doing mine. It's not fair to me that you can just decide to sit on your ass. Time is up, the baby is here and you need to be a father to him by getting a job and supporting him financially. Time to be responsible by choice of your own, or the courts will take over in making you get a job when I have no choice left but to hit you up with child support. That's the last thing I want to do, so please help me out here. This responsibility should not have to fall on my parents. We made this child together, and we are going to take care of him together or pay the consequences." I really hope he gets smart about this for you. Having this baby should have changed him already, he should have gotten a job while you were still pregnant, so don't rule out legal matters; be prepared for them. It may be the only thing that can help what comes first in your life now...your child.
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You should tell him that its his baby to and you need help and you cant take care of him by ur self and if that doesnt work dont let him see his son
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Just tell him that you really like him but he needs to get a job so they relationship works out!
Let me know how it turns out!
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well mabey honey gotta think about it and remember its the real facts of life
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tell him your sick and tried of haveing your parents pay for everything and that you want him to pull his finger out. sometimes you have to be cruel to kind.
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Tell him that your parents are gonna stop paying for him in a month. So that will get him to hurry and get a job.
if not... then he's a dead beat father. and you should really evaluate your relationship. if he truly loves you, then he needs to show that he loves you... not just in bed... but by responsiblities.
if he doesnt step up to the plate... you really should consider dropping him like a bad habit. at least that will force him to pay up child support and then he'll really be forced to get a job.
remember one thing... your priorities have completely changed since you gave birth. your number one priority is now your son and everything else falls behind your son. and having a good responsible father as a role model is very important for you son.
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Give him some incentive about it like said below, them him that its his child as well and if he's not going to help support it then he won't reap any of the benefits either. You can't be nice about it, he has to work seriouly even if he is that young. Its his child. That should be incentive enough and he should feel guilty letting your parents pay for it all line up some job interviews and make up some consequences if he doesn't go to them.
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