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i think being in a relatioship is very special and think I should wait for the right guy but I've been masturbating recently and I am egar for sex I'm 16 and a virgin and these urges I have tell me I need sex but I really want to wait for mr right I tried masturbation but the urges are still there are there any other ways I can control these urges ? (link)
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If you just recently started masturbating you have a whole relationship to develop with yourself and it goes deeper then you could Imagine. How have you already tried masturbating? Do you experience orgasms when you masturbate? There are many different ways to masturbate. If your doing correctly you can achieve orgasm and sexual satisfaction every time!! Women have 5 erogenous zones in the body to receive orgasms. Each of them produce a different type of orgasm, you can get a book on the female anatomy and female sexuality and experiment with new ways of discovering your body. I read a book called "tickle my fancy," and it really taut me many new ways to masturbate and it was amazing!!! I learned new ways using my hand using a toy and using my shower head ;) I think you do need to be at least 18 years old to buy this book so see if an older sibling will help you get it? Perhaps your mom is someone you could talk with that might help you? You can explore pornography and discover what type of erotic situations turn you on. You can also explore your own fantasy while you masturbate, discover what you like to think about.
Basically you and your body are in for a long life together. Get to know it, your on the right track! Your having a very hormonal time in your young adult hood and this is normal. So masturbate a lot! Develop a good solid relationship with your body and sexuality and some day you will find that guy you want to loose your virginity with. Be patient and always remember if your doing it right masturbating is never boring and it's a wonderful way to experience an orgasm, sexual satisfaction and relieve your urges.
Good luck honey :)
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I am a girl who is engaged to a girl. My ex girlfriend however is on my mind 24/7 and I am thinking about going back to her. I can't stop thinking about her and I really shouldn't have let her go in he first place, but I have a stable life with my fiancé that I think I would end up regretting in the long run if I left her. Please help me decide. Me and my fiancé have 2 dogs together, I love her family and we live with her mom who is great and only makes us pay a small amount of rent. We have been together for 2 years and both work at the same place. We share my car and are very close. We spend every second of every day together. My ex and I had a very passionate relationship but it ended because back in high school we could hardly ever see eachother. However we remained best friends and started seeing eachother every day. She had dated a lot of guys and I didn't know if she still felt the same about me so we went on with the years just being friends. We would have sex once a month or so when we got drunk or whatever. I loved her more than anything and it killed me so much to see her start dating other people. But I still stuck around as the best friend and watched it all and held her when she cried. I tried to hint to her that I wanted to be with her but she didn't seem to be into it so I just kind of left it at that. I started talking to my now fiancé and my ex would cry every day I spent with her. I would have sex with her and she would just cry and by the time she told me she loved me like I loved her it was too late and I was already dating my fiancé. Lately with my fiancé I've not really been happy and she has become a very angry person. It is turning me into an angry person but when we are around eachother I'm happy. I texted my ex for the first time in a year today and she told me she still loved me and was hoping I would e waiting for her on her doorstep one day and all the feelings came back. I can't stop thinking about her and I'm thinking about going back to her but it's a tough decision because I can't move back in with my parents because they won't let me bring my dog and he has to come . And I don't make very much money to afford my own place . Any advice is appreciated ! (link)
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Did you think about your ex at all before your current fiance started being moody? It sounds to me like troubles in your current relationship are making you want to run away to your past. Maybe you and your fiance are moving a bit fast or need to take a breather from each other for a bit. Have you spoken with your fiance about how angry she has been lately? It could also just be a rough patch in your relationship is really shaking you up and making you question if you made the right decision or not.I suggest first trying to work on your current relationship and realize that when times get rough it's normal for us to look into the past nostalgically. Not to say that a relationship with your ex couldn't work but it would just have different problems. All relationships do. In my experience bisexual and lesbian relationships are extremely hard. For exactly the reasons you talked about before the bi girl wants to be with men and her girlfriend has to take a back seat and watch it all. So if you haven't given up on your current relationship yet, then work on it before you decide to leave it. Talk to your partner tell her your worried about how angry she is. Tell her you don't want to live like that. See if you two can work it out. If things start feeling better at home you might stop looking into your past for answers.
If you do decide to leave then i'm sorry but it looks likes your going to loose your dog along with your relationship. Even if your ex wants you to move in with her immediately, those actions have the word DISASTER written all over them. Jumping into living with someone immediately after leaving someone else does confusing things to your mind and emotions. I highly recommend not doing that. You will regret it if you don't give yourself and your feelings time to adjust and think through things. When you get a pet with a partner you risk loosing that pet if the two of you break up. In the future think about it, is the risk of loosing this pet in a break up worth the comfort and love of having it? It's wrong and irresponsible to move in to a situation too fast just to keep your dog. Your better off asking your (would be ex fiancé) to care for it till you can afford your own place then live with your parents for a bit and save money.
If you and your ex are supposed to be together you will find your way back to each other. There is no use creating another regret with your current relationship just to cover up a past regret. It could easily end up in you loosing both of them and your dog. So work on what you have right now and be sure it can't work before you walk away. The only way you know if something is not right is if you try and make it work and it wont. Then you get to walk away knowing that you tried and you have no regrets.
Good luck honey :)
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I had unprotected sex a week ago, seven hours after sex I took plan b, now I've been bleeding heavily for two days and it is not my period, and I felt nautious this morning, I may just be stressing but is this bleeding a normal side effect of plan b, or am I pregnant?! (link)
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You are not pregnant. The point of the plan b pill is to start your period so you don't get pregnant. Think about it like this. Every month your body prepares to have a baby. When the egg that has been prepared does not get fertilized your body has a period to expel the unused egg from your body. If your having a period that means that your body is expelling the egg and your not pregnant. If you don't get your period after taking the plan b pill that means you could be pregnant and need to go to your doctor.
The hormones in the pill could make you feel nauseous and normally it will cause a heavy period. It will take your body a bit of time to feel normal again but you should be fine. It's not healthy to take the plan b frequently so if you plan on having more unprotected sex in the future then go to your doctor and get on birth control.
If you don't have a doctor and can't talk to your parents about it then go to your local planned parenthood clinic.
Good Luck honey :)
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what is handjob? (link)
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A hand job can be a type of masturbation or partnered sex. Basically it's just using a hand on a man's penis for sexual pleasure. It can result in ejaculation or orgasm. It can be performed on a man by himself in which case it's masturbation or it can be performed on a man by his partner.
:)
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I have this guy friend "alex" and we just recently started talking more. He asked me to dinner, but because of our working/school schedules its a little hard to make an exact date, well last week we ended up hanging out together with a few other friends, and after our friends went home he took me to eat dinner and we watched a movie in his car at a school parking lot. he taught me to waltz in the middle of the parking lot around midnight (seriously like something you would see in a movie) then a couple days later he asked if I wanted to hangout after work. so I went to his house and we just sat around watched tv, talked, and danced a little more. and hell ask every now and then if I want to talk on the phone before bed. and we end up talking for a couple hours before actually hanging up. he tells me all this corny stuff like flirting kind of, and makes fun of my height cause hes taller then me. he acts like hes interested, he even asked my best friend if I date. well the other day I was asking him to hangout with me and a few of our friends today, and he said if he didn't have work he would, but we should hangout before then, so we made a plan to hangout after I got out of work, but 30 mins before I got out he texted me and canceled cause he had his daughter, then today he ended up having to work, so he asked if I wanted to hangout after he got off for a little bit cause he has to be up really early for college. but when he got off he texted me and said nevermind for tonight cause its late and he needs to be up early, and we can hangout some other time. im just confused on why he acts interested and says all the sweet things to me, and acts likea gentleman but the last couple times he asked me to hangout he canceled at the last minute. (link)
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It sounds like he has a pretty complex life right now. He has a child part time, he is going to school and working full time. Give the guy a break! He's got a lot of balls up in the air and finding time to date as well can be tricky.
It sounds like he really does like you and is interested in you. Maybe you should ask him how much he dates? How old is his daughter? Has he had many girlfriends since she was born or since he broke up with her mom? Maybe he hasn't dated in a while and doesn't know how to fit it into his life as a single father/ student. Just be understanding try to get a better idea of him and his life and situation. Maybe he doubts his own ability to be a boyfriend because he's a bit overwhelmed in his life. If you two continue to hang out ask him some questions about his life and how he feels about dating. Then you can understand where he is coming from and not get confused or thrown off so easily. If you two start seeing each other regularly it might be good to have a talk about him keeping you informed so you don't get confused and you being understanding of his life and it's complications.
Basically to me it sounds like he is interested. Dating is just something he is unsure of and struggling to find a balance with in his life. So if you want to see him and your interested despite his complex life then let him know. Feel free to be straight forward and ask him how interested he is. I've found that being straight forward is usually very respected and well received among most men. Just calmly and kindly pose the question, "hey sometimes your actions confuse me a bit and i was wondering how interested you are in me? What are your intentions?"
Good Luck honey!
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I've known this guy for about 3 and a half years, I used to be very depressed and he acted as a consular and helped me. We both started to really like each other but we didn't wanna date because we love 5 hours away so we agreed to date other people but nothing serious. We go to the same camp ground so I see him a couple times a year. Around October he calls Me crying saying his gf is pregnant (he's a virgin so she cheated on him) but his parents and hers made them get married....we tried so much to stop it but it was a fail. So he joined the army to be able to pay for and in hopes his new wife will get bored while he is gone and leave him. He is telling me that he knows we will be together some day but it all is just so hard.....what do I do :/ gone (link)
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First of all this whole situation sounds a little strange to me. Do you know his parents have you met them? I don't know what parents would make there virgin son marry a girl and care for a child that's not his? Most parents are pretty sane and if their child tells them my girlfriend is pregnant with another mans baby they wont make their kid marry her, they would tell their kid to break up with her. So I don't know how much he could have tried to "stop the wedding," If he didn't even tell anyone that the kid is not his.
Have you met his parents? Do they seem like they are completely crazy and detached from reality? Do they seem like people that would force their virgin son into taking a child that is not his? To me his story has DISHONEST written all over it. Also, how old is he? He is over 18 and he's a virgin with a girlfriend? How long has he been with this girl? Most guys that are over 18 and virgins are virgins because they can't get a girl not because they choose to be virgins. I think you really need to re-evaluate how much you can trust this guy.
This is what it sounds like to me. It sounds like he and his girlfriend were having sex. OOPS! She got pregnant because they were not practicing safe sex. Their parents insist that they get married for the child and the family reputation. (both of their parents must be religious or very conservative?) Now before he knows it, his young adult hood is gone! His is married, in the army and has a child and seems like it all happened over night. He wishes he could start over. He feels like all this just happened to him and he wants to find a way to escape responsibility.
He tells you the child is not his because he doesn't want you to judge him and it's one way for him to escape responsibility. He probably really dose like you and was hoping to get to be with you someday. Now that he feels like his life changed over night he doesn't want to loose the fantasy of some day being able to be with you. So he tells you a stupid lie so even though he is married with a child you will not take him off your future "possible partner," list.
Honestly I don't think forced marriages usually work. I think they will probably split up but this woman will be in his life forever linked to the the child they had together. Maybe the two of you will be together someday but you need to get him to be honest with you. Tell him that his story sounds a little far fetched. Why would parents want you to care for someone else's child when your a virgin? Do your parents think you should father every fatherless child? If they didn't believe the kid was not his he could easily have a paternity test to tell. They can be done affordably at planned parenthood weather you have insurance or not. There is even one you can buy in the pharmacy next to the pregnancy tests!!! Seriously it's easy to prove the father of a child these days!
Tell him his story is full of holes!!! Then tell him that he can tell you the truth and you will not judge him. You genuinely care for him as a person and you are not his judge. He can talk to you even about things he's ashamed of and it's okay. If he comes clean with you then great! Be a good friend and shoulder for him to cry on, he is going through a really hard time in his life. Even if you are never together you can be great friends. Maybe you two are meant to be together eventually and friends is all you can be right now.
If he doesn't come clean with you I would probably stop talking with him. You don't want to be involved with a man that tried to deceive you so he looks perfect and flawless. Real people aren't perfect and real partners aren't either. Real partners aren't perfect but they're honest. If he can't come clean and be honest they you two never had a chance anyway. You also don't want to be with someone that renounces all responsibility and thinks they are a victim of their own life. It's just not psychologically healthy to be with people like that.
Try and see if he'll give up the "virgin victim of my life" story and get real. Like I said even if you stay close friends without romance, a good friend in a time of need is always a beautiful thing. You may need the favor returned someday when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to confess your less honorable moments to.
Good luck honey!
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well today he came over to my house and just started yell at me did u have fun with him last nite when he already new i was with my mom so I told him I was done with all of his games and if he was to come over to my house its to only see the kids so since i broke up with him when he dose come see the kids should i just stay n my room and not talk to him untell I get over him or show him it dose not bother me that we r not together (link)
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So how old are your children?
I think right now you need to act civil with him. Not because your trying to show him it doesn't bother you but because you are trying to set a good example for your kids. Also because it's traumatizing to have parent s that scream and can't be in the same room together.
Tell him that it is unacceptable for him to scream and be violent to you in front of the kids. You are both adults and you are obviously going to continue seeing each other for a very long time because you have children together. His anger, jealousy and emotional problems are none of your business! You are broken up and he needs to stop involving you in that. Letting your children know that they have two parents that love them is more important then his and your problems. I don't know how old your children are but break ups can be hard on them. They may blame themselves, they may worry that they will be caught in the hate between you two forever. I remember when my parents divorced I felt like they had to see each other because of me and they would always be yelling and screaming because of me. It made me feel guilty and bad about myself. Eventually it really pushed me away from my parents.
It's important that you level with your X and get him on board with making the kids feel comfortable and okay. This is the number one priority. This means you two are civil around each other! You don't run away and hide and he doesn't loose his temper. It may be too late for your relationship together but it's not too late for your relationship with your kids!!!! Tell him if he needs to talk to you or you two need to have a fight about something you need to plan to meet at a coffee shop or somewhere but you will not do it in front of the kids.
You both need to care about them more then you right now.
Good luck honey and keep your head on straight.
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I'm a female in my late 20's..I don't want to overanalyze the whole "how long do guys wait to ask you out" thing, but oh, we'll. Months ago, I met a guy (dude # 1) and a few of his friends at a dance party, and got along well with one of his friends (dude # 2). I thought he was good looking , but didn't pursue him. I actually went out on a date with dude # 1, when really, I was secretly more interested in his friend (dude # 2). Fast forward to the other night, when I sent dude # 2 a drunk message on Facebook, saying that I think I went after the wrong guy (his friend, dude #1). He wrote back saying it was good hearing from me and asked how I was. I wrote him back, and when he replied, he asked if I'd like to meet for a drink sometime. I said I'd love to, to which he replied "great, hope to see you soon." SO, after that, I took the initiative and messaged him my phone number, saying we could make plans for when he is free. That was last night, and I know he's seen my message. It's only been a day, but I thought I'd throw this out there, especially to the guys: How long would a guy typically wait to initiate plans via text message in this sort of scenario? Also, did I maybe seem forthcoming in any way? I didn't think so, but I only waited an hour to reply with my number so I don't know if maybe I seemed too eager. Thanks for the feedback! (link)
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I think you are looking at this the wrong way. So for dude #2, he probably likes you and thinks it's cute that you feel like you "went for the wrong guy." He's probably a little flattered and yes would like to peruse you. However he may feel reservations based on the fact that his friend is into you. Maybe he doesn't want to do anything too fast because he's worried about breaking some sort of "bro code." Do you have any idea how close of friends they are?
I think you should realize that you are trying to pull a switch-a-roo (you meet someone you like then you meet their friend like them more). It's a very tricky and delicate move, with many opportunities to go wrong and cause drama! I myself have attempted the switch-a-roo 4 times. Only once did it work, thats how i got my current boyfriend and we had a lot of drama, jealousy and hate to deal with from his friend. After being together around 9 months his friend finally started hanging out with us both at the same time. So be happy this guy is taking it slow. He might be trying to be careful because he is about to journey into delicate territory. Maybe he doesn't know how to go about it or if he should do it.
You need to be patient and sensitive. Maybe he will back out and decide he doesn't want to hurt his friend. Maybe you will have to not see either of them for a while. Maybe the thought of dude #1 taking you out needs to be forgotten before you and dude #2 even have a chance.
So in closing, if dude #2 is what you want, don't go out with #1 anymore and sit back and be patient. Getting what you want can be complicated and not always easy. The switch-a-roo is a tricky move but if my calculations are correct you have a 25% chance of success :)
Good Luck Honey!
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well im 28 and my man is 41 and one he meets this girl and the only thang he tells me about her is she has a banging body well one he said he had to run over to his house ok thats fine but come to find out his is over there with this girl then ask me if i want to meet her when i said yes "she had to go" well every time he tell me im going out be back later then when he is around her he will not pick up for me when i call but when she got locked up for a week he did not go any where and he was so nice but now she is out he is a ass to me (link)
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HI honey,
I'm sorry to say it but, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, It's probably a duck. It sound like he is probably cheating on you with this girl. It also sounds like he's not really a nice person and he doesn't appreciate you.
If you want to work through it and try to stay with him, try and talk to him about it. See if you can get him to be honest and see if you two can open some conversation about what you both want out of the relationship. If it's okay for him to have a girlfriend on the side is okay for you to have a boyfriend? Do you want to give monogamy another shot? Infidelity is very common in relationships and it usually has nothing to do with how much you love someone it's just sexual desire. Couples work through it all the time. If you can get him to be honest and have a thoughtful loving discussion about your feelings and working it out then the two of you should stay together. When you ask him remain calm and see what he says. If he blows up with a huge temper and can't talk to you, it's probably not going to work.
However you also mentioned that he acts like an ass to you. I don't think you should ever be with someone that treats you bad and makes you feel bad about yourself. He is more then 10 years older then you and he should be thanking his lucky stars to be with you. He doesn't sound like he appreciates you and maybe you should consider if you even want to be with someone like that? There could be someone waiting to treat you good and give you the love you deserve. YOu could be looking for that person rather then wasting your time with an ass hole?
Good luck honey :)
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hi, i am searching the internet for help and thought i would at least let someone know what is going on in my life. i am 54 years old. my twin sister has mismanaged money left to us by my mother. she is now going to try to have me evicted from a home we own together based on any excuse she can find. i believe she is bipolar or schizophrenic. all of this started when she got married 12 yrs ago to a very narcissistic man. they have depleted my sisters and mines money instead of leaving it invested to draw interest to support 2 properties in our estate. they also took out a home equity loan which they need to get rid of in their lives. she is beyond manic. she visits me and destroys my life. she will not stay away. she is threatening to evict me and my 3 dogs if i do not sell the house. and she will start court proceedings and knows i have no money for an attorney. it is such a mess. overwhelming. i am so sad all day everyday and there is no reasoning with her. it has been one bad financial decision after another so she and her husband can live a lifestyle. she is on the edge and trying to give me her problems again. she is irrational. i cannot overstate this. she blames me for everything and i have had nothing to do with anything. my life is so off track. i am going thru my own menopause issues and i havent been well due to extreme anxiety and overwhelming depression. she knows that yet she keeps piling it on. she is the victim of mind control. others claim it she is the real deal. her husband is a phd and teaches or taught psychological warfare techniques in the military. he has complete control of her mind and can get her to do anything even destroy what took decades to accomplish. it is so overwhelming. i feel so alone in this world. i do have a friend who helps me as much as he can. i don't know what to do. i need to talk to someone about what to do. she will be visiting in a couple of weeks and will scream and rant at me. i dont want her here. i have told her we need to talk to a 3rd party but she will not do it. we are in crisis. i am so afraid for the future. please write back asap. i don't know where to turn. (link)
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Hello dear,
You sound like a very sweet person and i'm very sorry that your going through all this. Is has to be hard watching your sister tare down her own life and try and take you with her.
You need to stand up for yourself and separate yourself from the chaos of the situation. First of all go to your local police station and ask what the grounds are for a restraining order. It sounds like your sister verbally and emotionally harasses and abuses you. Has she ever made any threats to persuade you to get what she wants? It seems like you are living in fear of her and her husband and you shouldn't have to do that.
You tell her that you are afraid for your own well being because of her temper and behavior. Tell her she is not welcome to stay in your home and if she wishes to speak with you, you must have a neutral third party present. NO THIRD PARTY NO TALKING, NO SEEING EACH OTHER AT ALL! This may inflame her and make her very mad. If you are afraid of this happening set up something to record your phone conversation before hand so you have evidence for the police if she threatens or harasses you.
You seem like a nice person and you cannot let her make you a victim of her and her husbands sick abusive game. Search web sights and blogs for law students and maybe you can get a local law student to give you cheap or free legal advice? I just typed free legal advice into google and several web sights came up. You may want to do some research on how much legal assistance you can get for free.
How do you feel about selling your house? I don't know how bad the situation is but perhaps you should sell the house and start over some place where they are not in your life. Change your phone number and leave this abuse in your past. You have to know that the bulling and abuse you are receiving is unacceptable and you have the choice to get away from it. It is never too late to start over. I can only imagine how hard it must be to cut your sister out of your life but if there is no talking to her, then you need to save your self! 50 is the new 40 and you still have half your life to live. How do you want to live it?
Talk to your local police research as much as you can about your states laws regarding property ownership and restraining orders. Get this situation out of your life. You shouldn't have to suffer and be tortured by her choices. This may be her life but you can make sure that it is not yours.
Be strong you sound like a wonderful person, best of luck!
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i am 16/f. last year i started rubbing my cilt and initially i got an orgasm 2 times. it felt great. however i did not cum. but then everything stopped . for the past one year i feel absolutely nothing when i touch myself. i have even tried fingering but all i feel is something is moving in and out..no pleasure at all.rubbing my cilt is useless and i absolutely have no sensation there. i do get wet ...something watery and jelly like comes out but i never cum. what is wrong with me?all my friends say it feels great and some 13 yr old girls whom i know cum regularly...why can't i? (link)
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Hi honey,
So when you say cum i'm assuming you mean female ejaculation? So the reason you never experienced it when you had orgasms from rubbing your clit is because female ejaculation comes from a different type of orgasm. It comes from a G-spot orgasm. Your G-spot is a gland up behind your pubic bone. It produces a rather wet orgasm. Some women have a G-spot that is very easily reached others have one that is not. For a G-spot orgasm you need consistent and direct stimulation. Basically not only do you need to find it but you need to hang out there for a while.
Secondly not every women "cums," There are women known as "squirters," when they have a G-spt orgasm fluid from their gland squirts out similar to the way it does for a man. Not all women have this ability. Some women just produce a small or large puddle of gland fluid that is on the sheets after the orgasm. Some women's glands don't secret fluid at all! For some women a G-spot orgasm is simply a warm liquid feeling with no actual secretion of fluid. You may be a woman that doesn't secret fluid when you have an orgasm.
Lucky for you, you are only 16 and you have a whole life time ahead of you to discover your body and find out which type of orgasms you have and which type you like to have.
If you want to experiment with ways of having a G-spot orgasm or new ways of stimulating your clit. Using a dildo or clit stimulator may be a good option for you. Since you are not 18 your not old enough to go to a sex store or buy a toy legally so you would need the assistance of a parent or older friend or sibling. If not keep experimenting with your fingers and try incorporating the use of your PC muscle. Your PC muscle is the muscle that controls your pee. Next time you go pee try stopping your pee in the middle and just stop and start it for bit. This will help you identify your PC muscle. Once you have identified it practice flexing and releasing it while you masturbate. You can also practice anytime. These are called Kegel exorcizes. You can look up the term on google if you want more information about how to do them and how they can assist you in achieving an orgasm.
Also don't compare your body's ability to other people's. Every women is different and it doesn't matter your age. Everyone has a different body with different likes and dislikes and types of orgasms. Just worry about getting to know you and your body. Thats how you have the best orgasm you can have! ;)
Good luck honey! I'm proud of you for being comfortable discovering your body and sexual ability at such a young age. I think we need more women like you that are not ashamed of their bodies and want to experiment and learn about themselves.
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I miss my family. I miss what it used to be. I miss the feeling when we were kids and everything seemed wonderful. I had my sister and my brother as my best friends. We got each other.
Now, I am in college. My sister has vanished for 3+ years. My brother gives me the cold shoulder every time I come home. My father is a block of human flesh that cannot understand what it means to care for another, to have sympathy. His head is in the past and does not realize it. He expects women to be servants and men to do the heavy work. When one thing is said to him, he acts like he listens, but responds with his own self centered opinion. He is impossible. My mother is a mad mess because this is not what she envisioned her life as. She feels hopeless.
That takes it back to me. I'm in the middle of trying to move on with my life but still desire the love of my family. One thing I did not mention is that I have an older brother, not my once best friend younger brother, but an older abusive brother. He would hit us, especially me, and manipulate my parents into thinking that we were all in the wrong and in the end no one gets punished. He lied, he bullied, he harassed. My parents? On the occasion my father, when we were kids would protect us. He saw what was going on. This was during the time that my sister and I were complaining a lot. My mother at the time favored my older brother like no other. She bought him the good glasses, bought my sister and I the ones that made our visions get progressively and significantly worse after a year. She would pick him up whenever he called. We would have to wait 1-3 hours in the front of school for her to get her ass to us.
One time, my older brother, forcefully dug his nails into my hands because I wouldn't let him take my CD out of the computer that I was using. He wanted me to get off so that he could use it.I refused. When my dad came home, we showed him the blood on the computer and the fingernail marks on my hand. My dad saw what was going on now, and he talked to my brother. I don't think he ever punished him, but he saw what was going on.
My parents never ever did anything about that. Their resolution? To keep him calm and happy. I won't forget the time he took a butcher knife and went to my sister's and I's bedroom saying that just a little bit, just a little bit it will be over. It will all be over. My parents were trying to calm him down. And once it was over, it was over. No punishment for him. No talking to my sister or me.
That was and still is how my parents deal with disruption in any calm in the family. They try to get it to go away, and once away, ignore the fact that it ever happened. It is no wonder that everyone suffers. They don't understand the fact that my older brother needs some fucking significant help. That heffer is messed up. Fucking messed up. And they put up with that?? What the fuck is wrong with them and what the fuck is wrong with him.
This is all insanity. Do you have any advice on how I should go about this insanity? Or other suggestions? (link)
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I wish i knew how old you are? Are you almost 18? Or to a point where you can work a ob and get out of the house or go away to school?
Secondly you just need to tell your parents that your brother is abusive and if they care about him they will try and get him help. They are obviously in denial. So you need to just say it. Maybe go to your dad first because he realizes how your brother is. If its to hard to talk to them then write them a letter. Build your case, give examples of how he has always been abusive. and how if they truly love him and care about the family they will do what they can to seek professional help for him. If they don't believe you then thats their choice and it's not a good or healthy one but unfortunately there is nothing you can do. I don't know what your brother is like but perhaps you could write him a letter and tell him that your worried about him and you think he needs professional help. Your worried that the family is being torn apart and you want him to be happy and healthy and to please consider getting help.
If this doesn't work, then work hard in school try and get a job and save money and work towards getting yourself in a healthy situation.
I'm very sorry that this has happened to your family. Hopefully your just saying what everyone agrees with and is too afraid to say. Either way you don't deserve to live in an abusive situation. Try to fix it but if your family doesn't want to face the truth, then try and get yourself in a better place thats not abusive. You don't deserve to live in fear of your brother you seem like a good person.
Good luck, be strong :)
I'm very
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Well I'll explain this as short as I think I can. At the beginning of the year was a huge nerd. EVERYONE hated me for no reason. I finally got a couple of friends, and since they were kinda popular they changed my look a little bit. Then I got a boyfriend. He was sweet and he loving! But then everything started goin down hill. One day my friends got mad at me because I was telling someone one of her "secret" (because she had already said it was ok if I tell people) but anyways she got mad and to give pay back she wasted her food all over my clothes. Then the next day she asked if I wanted to be her friend again and I told her no. So she got mad again and she got me back by telling my boyfriend that u was cheating on him with his best friend. I told him I didnt buy apperently his friend was in the plan too because he also told my boyfriend that I was dating him. I now I'm back to where I started and I'm a complete nerd again. I don't know what to do but I can't keep letting them spill stuff on me and calling me names and putting mean notes in my locker. I've told the princpal twice but after they get suspended they are still picking in me. What to I do? (link)
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Just hang in there honey i promise it gets better!!! High school kids are mean and someday I promise the bullies get theirs too. I think you should talk to your parents and see if it's possible to change schools. If they wont stop and you've gotten the administration involved it might be time to find a new school. Talk to your parents and see if it's possible to change schools, it sounds like you really need to get out of that situation. No one deserves what they are doing to you.
If it's not possible then you need to go to the police. Perhaps just threatening to go to the police could do the trick. They are calling you names and throwing food on you. That is verbal, emotional and physical harassment. Also after Columbine and other past bully related violence, bulling in school is taken seriously by authorities. So tell them that if they don't stop your going to go to the police. Tell the authorities at your school as well. Just say, look these kids are seriously harassing me and i'm going to have to get the police involved because it's taking a tole on my emotional and metal stability. Whats happening to you is wrong and you do not deserve to be treated like this.
Lastly be proud to be a nerd. The greatest people throughout history have all been nerds. Also be grateful everyday that you are not a rude, stupid, uncivilized barbarian that acts the way that they do. The way they act only proves that they have no respect for themselves and they are no better then monkeys that that throw their own s**t at each other. Actually i think monkeys are more respectable then these X friends of yours. Hopefully they will grow up and look back in shame on their behavior. No matter what be grateful that you are not friends with them anymore. They don't sound like people that you should associate yourself with. Trust me people like that never amount to anything and your falling out with them is a blessing in disguise.
Good luck dear take care, be strong and brave!
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I'm 18 years old, and I work part-time after school. A few months ago, this new guy came in. He's a bit older than I am, and really funny and very cute, and I immediately took a liking to him.
I didn't think he'd ever be interested, but we started talking and he's asked to hook up. I have a few concerns;
1. He's in his 20s, and I feel like hooking up to him is sex. I don't feel comfortable going all the way with someone that I'm not even dating.
2. I like his personality, and I worry that getting physically intimate will cause me to develop feelings for him.
3. I gained a lot of weight recently. I'm just barely overweight, and you can't really tell how big I am in clothes. If I were to take anything off, I'm sure he'd notice some... trouble areas...
So, what should I do?
Thanks :) (link)
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Hi honey,
Okay so if he says he wants to "hook up," Yes that means he is interested in having casual sex with you. If you are in a place in your life where you want a relationship and you want more then that then DON'T SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU DON'T WANT! If your not comfortable with casual "hook up's" don't do it, you could end up traumatizing yourself. Just be honest with him and say thank you for the offer i'm flattered but i'm not really looking for that in my life right now.
If you have a feeling that you could develop feelings for him then definitely don't do it. I think it's obvious that the two of you want different things right now. Thats perfectly fine you can like him as a person and even have a secret crush on him. Just be honest and realistic with him and with yourself. You two want different things in terms of relationships right now. You're only 18 and you've got nothing to loose so you might as well look for what you want. There is someone out there that would be more then happy to take you on dates and give you the whole package so DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!
In terms of your self confidence and body image i think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Everyone has "problem areas." I eat healthy and exorcize and i still have parts of myself i wish looked different. If you feel like you could be healthier and that would make you happier then start making some changes in your diet and exorcize. Make sure you do it for yourself because you want to be happy. Any one that would judge you for having "problem areas," or being slightly over weight doesn't deserve to be having sex with you. You should demand respect and curtsy out of your sexual partners. Make sure they are people you trust and people that have proven themselves to be kind and respectful individuals. I understand how the thought of exposing your naked body could make you feel self conscious. Sexual intimacy is an extremely vulnerable situation. You should be engaging in it with people you feel safe with and people that you trust. If you are afraid of this guy judging you because you've put on a little weight thats probably a sign that you shouldn't be sexually intimate with him.
Bottom line, thank him for the offer tell him your flattered but your really not looking for casual sex right now. If he asks you why just say that your not comfortable with the idea. Tell him you need to date someone and develop a relationship with them before you feel comfortable having sex.
Good luck honey. Try to not be so hard on yourself. You and your body are in for a long journey together and things only change more and more as you age. Be healthy and take care of yourself because you care about yourself and your life.
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I have gotten myself into an immense mess with my studies; I make almost no effort. I don't seem to care, I can't commit. I'm lying to my parents - they don't know I dropped out of my first uni and am now doing another course in the same city and the worst part is, I vowed to myself I would work super hard this year and prove that I can do it but of course I've done the complete opposite.
I feel like I cannot tell my parents about how sad and depressed I am and how hugely disappointed I am with my life - I fear they will disown me.
Every day I wake up feeling terrified and thinking about the future makes me so stressed my heart starts racing.
I am not entirely sure I will pass this academic year, which makes me even more terrified of having to come clean if I get kicked out for not obtaining enough credits.
I am living a lie and I am struggling to stay sane - I am ready to burst into tears everytime I think about what a fuck up I am and how majorly I've ruined my own life and I am only 20 years old.
I need some words of advice. Anyone who's been in a similar situation or knows how to approach my parents - I'm going to have to come clean at some point this summer.
As a side note; I've always been average at studies. Nothing special, mostly disappointing my parents who don't seem to understand it isn't easy for me to get super high grades and succeed at everything.
If I struggle, and I tell them about it they have always blamed it on my lack of trying.
Even if I failed a small test in highschool I would instantly receive a lecture on what a disappointment I am to them and how there is no excuse for failing.
I don't know. I'm in a mess, I have nobody to help me and even my boyfriend, although loving and supportive doesn't quite seem to grasp what a fuck up in my academic life I am.
I just..wish I could restart everything with my parents support and this is what I want to tell them but I fear they will me to leave and support my own life..which I am not ready to do... (link)
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Okay so first of all, don't be so hard on your self. Traditional school is not for everyone. Some of the worlds greatest successes were high school drop out which is much worse then a college drop out. So I think the sooner you come clean to your parents the better. This living a lie thing really sounds like it's eating you up inside.
More then your parents believing in you I think you need to believe in your self. There are many different types of learning and maybe the traditional school type is not for you. Maybe you need something closer to applied learning like a work study or apprenticeship to learn a specific trade. What do you like in lIfe? do you like fashion? Maybe cosmetology school where you get to learn by doing is something you might like? Maybe massage school? Maybe apprenticing with an artist or a musician if you enjoy or have skills in that? Think about what things you as a person like and what type of training or work study might be right for you. Do some research on the internet and brainstorm ideas.
Then take your ideas with you when you go to break the news to your parents. Remember first you have to believe that you can succeed at something. Just because traditional school isn't it doesn't' mean that you can't succeed at anything.
Then tell your parents look i'm sorry to let you down but this just is not me. It's never been me and i don't know that it ever will be something i'm good at. It makes me feel bad about myself and like i'm a failure. I want to do something i enjoy doing and that makes me feel good about myself. I've don't some research and although i'm still not sure i think..... might be my path.
Look into everything there is culinary school if you like cooking, massage if you like therapy. Finding your place in the world doesn't come easy. Most people have to fail at something so they can succeed at another.
Good luck honey
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I have been planning this for a while but there is just one problem... I dont know how to do it quick and permanet...If your lost then what im trying to say is ... I want to kill myself today and I need a suggestion on how to kill myself quick and permanet. (link)
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Believe life gets better and drop this. You really don't want to kill yourself or you would have never asked advice on how to do it. I promise it gets better. I don't know how old you are or why your so unhappy but i promise you, you are thinking of making a HUGE MISTAKE!
Your going to hurt a lot of people that love you and give away an amazing chance to grow and discover the world. Part of you knows that you want to live. Thats the part that asked you to "get advice on suicide." Maybe it just wanted advice because your in a place where your not thinking clearly right now. So I am going to help you.
Life is not about being the best or worse, winning or loosing or even knowing what the hell your doing. We're all lost and were all confused most of the time. Society just asks that we all have good poker faces. But seriously I have no idea WTF i'm doing either. We all make really bad mistakes and have horrible things that happen to us and were all in it together. It may be a twisted and fucked up gift but trust me honey life is a gift. I don't mean it in a religious sense i'm not a religious person. Life is for living through thick and thin and learning.
Trust me even the hard and discouraging things are a beautiful necessary part of the experience. Where would Tim Burton, Vincent Van gough, Quentin Tarantino, Salvador Dali and most every amazing artist that has effected man kind be if they didn't experience the hard ship of the world?
Suffering is just part of it sometimes so please hang in there and don't leave us. We're all in this together i promise it's hard for everyone at times. Just like two sides of a magnet for all the negative force there is positive force also. You deserve to experience both so don't give up now.
Good Luck Honey I hope you do the right thing
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I lost my virginity yrs bk wid my sex addict ex.. Nw m 22 n m wid a realy nyc guy. We dnt hv sex bt do othr thngs. 10 days ago he fingered me deep. He didnt ejaculate n i dnt thnk he evn touchd his penis. My period was due on 14th bt nw it's 16th n no periods. M rarely late. I feel dat m bleeding bt whn i chek it's a white/colorless discharge. M realy worried. I knw its sily 2 ask bt m i pregnant??? My exams r approaching, i cnt cncentrate bcz of ds tension.. PLZ HELP (link)
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You cannot get pregnant from a finger so don't worry about that.
This use to happen to me when I was in College also. It's stress probably from your exams. High amounts of stress can make your period irregular. Over exorcize, not eating enough and not sleeping enough can all cause your period to be irregular.
Make sure your eating healthy and getting enough sleep. Which will also help you make better use of your study time because you can concentrate better when you eat well and are well rested. Maybe take up some meditation or something to help you relax.
Speak to your boyfriend and make sure there was no Penis involved when you were messing around. After that consider going on birth control so you don't have to worry about this in the future. Ask your parents to help you find a GN your insurance covers or go to your local Planned Parenthood. Birth control will also make it so your period is never irregular.
Good Luck and take care :)
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I went to visit a guy who was just a friend,in an attempt to rape me i told him am a virgin he did not believe me forcefully he fingered me and there was a pool of blood.i ask some of my friends who were disvirgined they told me is just a small quantity of blood that will come out i am afriad mine was a pool.i dnt know if any damage has been done to my virgina? (link)
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Honey I hope you report this awful person that did that to you. He is not your friend and you should stay away from him!!! It is possible that he could have damaged something if the assault was violent. What he id is not okay and you need to report it to the police. If you don't he might do it again to another girl or try to rape you again. He is dangerous, violent and he is not your friend.
The blood most likely came from a thing call your Hymen. It's a membrane or just some soft tissue that is near your vaginal opening. It breaks usually with intercourse and the amount of blood you can have varies. I bled quite a lot when mine was broken I would definitely describe it as a "pool of bool." Some women don't bleed that much but some of us do and it's just fine and totally natural. Your Hymen can also break from fingering as well and that is probably where the blood came from.
Since it was forceful and not consensual you should report it to authorities. You could have been damaged internally and you should go to a doctor and get checked out. At least report this person so he can't do that to anyone else.
Good luck be strong!
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I need some opinions!
Okay so I have this friend, Chloe.
She has a little sister and an older brother. She's 15. Her brother is 16 and her sister is 11
Then she has 2 half brothers and one step brother.
I'm actually confused of her family tree
People think it's really crazy and not normal cause her dad got married twice apparently.
And now her mum and her dad are living together while her dads ex wife is living with her boyfriend that she has..
She's really upset cause people bully her cause of this!
What do you guys say? (link)
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So i'm guessing you live in a pretty conservative place right? Thats the only reason I could imagine as to why you would be bullied over such a stupid thing. Tell your friend that time will go on and the other kids will grow and realize their families aren't perfect either. No ones family is perfect! Everyone has problems just some people are a little more obvious about theirs.
I was bullied when i was a kid because i came from a single parent home. My dad wasn't around and I was living in a very rich Mormon area in Utah. I was a poor girl from a non religious single parent home. I was tortured and told i was going to hell all the time! Then I went to middle school and I was with a bunch of kids that didn't come from rich families which made it better. Then things started happening and all the "Perfect family," children ended up not having such perfect families. There was a boy named Jeff that had teased me about my family my whole life. He stopped when we turned 13 and his mom got caught having an affair and his parents got divorced. Another boy that teased me stopped when his sister got pregnant at 15 years old.
So bottom line tell your friend there is no such thing as a perfect family and IT GETS BETTER! Some day all the mean kids that are teasing her now will learn about life and stop being rude little bigots.
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Hi,
I'm kind of worried about my period I am 15 in 3 months and I haven't had my first period yet. I have been getting discharge kind of stuff for 5 months or longer, and yeah I just am worried and kinda feeling like something is wrong. Can some one please tell me what's going on. (link)
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I had a delayed period also. I am a small woman and I got my first period shortly before I got my drivers license. Thats right!! I was almost 16 when i finally got it. My friends would tease me about it i would avoid talking about periods because girls at my school acted like i was some type of freak. If you want you can go to your doctor and he will give you an injection of hormones that will make you start. I wouldn't recommend that injecting hormones can have harmful side effects. Plus there is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. After I finally started my period it took my hormones till i was 23 to get enough momentum for my period to be regular. However I'm 25 and people think I'm 19 or 20. My mother who was the same as me also looks incredibly young for her age she is 50 and people tend to think she is in her 30's seriously!
If you are seriously worried or you don't start in the next year then definitely go to your doctor and ask. Maybe something is wrong and you'll never know until you go and get it checked out. I knew that i came from a family of small women that were late bloomers so for me i knew it was probably genetic.
good luck honey and don't worry once you finally get it I'm sure you'll hate it. You'll probaby wonder why you wanted it so bad. Lol i guess thats the beauty of being a woman.
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