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my sister is harassing me and it is becoming life threatening
hi, i am searching the internet for help and thought i would at least let someone know what is going on in my life. i am 54 years old. my twin sister has mismanaged money left to us by my mother. she is now going to try to have me evicted from a home we own together based on any excuse she can find. i believe she is bipolar or schizophrenic. all of this started when she got married 12 yrs ago to a very narcissistic man. they have depleted my sisters and mines money instead of leaving it invested to draw interest to support 2 properties in our estate. they also took out a home equity loan which they need to get rid of in their lives. she is beyond manic. she visits me and destroys my life. she will not stay away. she is threatening to evict me and my 3 dogs if i do not sell the house. and she will start court proceedings and knows i have no money for an attorney. it is such a mess. overwhelming. i am so sad all day everyday and there is no reasoning with her. it has been one bad financial decision after another so she and her husband can live a lifestyle. she is on the edge and trying to give me her problems again. she is irrational. i cannot overstate this. she blames me for everything and i have had nothing to do with anything. my life is so off track. i am going thru my own menopause issues and i havent been well due to extreme anxiety and overwhelming depression. she knows that yet she keeps piling it on. she is the victim of mind control. others claim it she is the real deal. her husband is a phd and teaches or taught psychological warfare techniques in the military. he has complete control of her mind and can get her to do anything even destroy what took decades to accomplish. it is so overwhelming. i feel so alone in this world. i do have a friend who helps me as much as he can. i don't know what to do. i need to talk to someone about what to do. she will be visiting in a couple of weeks and will scream and rant at me. i dont want her here. i have told her we need to talk to a 3rd party but she will not do it. we are in crisis. i am so afraid for the future. please write back asap. i don't know where to turn.
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What you need to do is contact an attorney. Most initial consultations are at no charge. From what you have written it sounds like your sister hass not only mismanaged her money but may have violated her fiduciary responsibilities to you.
If I am correct there will be remedy at law for which there will be a recovery of money. Some attorneys will work for a portion of the recovery rather than an hourly fee. The only way to find this out is to speak with an attorney and find out what your options are and what remedy you have at law. If there is a recovery due you she can be forced to sell her assets to pay you by the courts.
If you want to keep you sister from visiting go to the district court and take out an "order of protection" against her and her husband. This order will keep her away from you and from harassing you under threat of going to jail.
As for evicting you from your home I don't think that can be done if she is asking you to sell it. If you have to be the one to sell it then you own it or own part of it. You cannot be evicted from something you own unless say you are not paying the mortgage. Then the bank will be the evicting party. Here again it best to seek the help of an attorney to find out what is going on.
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Hello dear,
You sound like a very sweet person and i'm very sorry that your going through all this. Is has to be hard watching your sister tare down her own life and try and take you with her.
You need to stand up for yourself and separate yourself from the chaos of the situation. First of all go to your local police station and ask what the grounds are for a restraining order. It sounds like your sister verbally and emotionally harasses and abuses you. Has she ever made any threats to persuade you to get what she wants? It seems like you are living in fear of her and her husband and you shouldn't have to do that.
You tell her that you are afraid for your own well being because of her temper and behavior. Tell her she is not welcome to stay in your home and if she wishes to speak with you, you must have a neutral third party present. NO THIRD PARTY NO TALKING, NO SEEING EACH OTHER AT ALL! This may inflame her and make her very mad. If you are afraid of this happening set up something to record your phone conversation before hand so you have evidence for the police if she threatens or harasses you.
You seem like a nice person and you cannot let her make you a victim of her and her husbands sick abusive game. Search web sights and blogs for law students and maybe you can get a local law student to give you cheap or free legal advice? I just typed free legal advice into google and several web sights came up. You may want to do some research on how much legal assistance you can get for free.
How do you feel about selling your house? I don't know how bad the situation is but perhaps you should sell the house and start over some place where they are not in your life. Change your phone number and leave this abuse in your past. You have to know that the bulling and abuse you are receiving is unacceptable and you have the choice to get away from it. It is never too late to start over. I can only imagine how hard it must be to cut your sister out of your life but if there is no talking to her, then you need to save your self! 50 is the new 40 and you still have half your life to live. How do you want to live it?
Talk to your local police research as much as you can about your states laws regarding property ownership and restraining orders. Get this situation out of your life. You shouldn't have to suffer and be tortured by her choices. This may be her life but you can make sure that it is not yours.
Be strong you sound like a wonderful person, best of luck!
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Sometimes when we wabt to help ourselves we have to do what's best. If your sister is causing you misery then you will have to tell her she is no longer welcome at your house as long as she continues to cause problems. You may need to file a harassment complaint against her or have a restraining order placed on her and her husband.
Next, You get yourself into counseling where they can help you with depression and anxiety. Sometimes we have to cut people off in order to focus on our lives. The next time she visits tell her she is no longer welcome and to leave the property or the police will be called.
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it is clear that your sister's husband , though well off, wants his hold on his wife's property too...which is 2 in number as you have stated. but since you have 50 percent share in it , you have become a trouble for him. he can manage his wife's mind and drive her into crazy things but not you. and probably you will not give a shit to what he wants which is why he is dragging your sister with whom you have an emotional bonding. PLUS your financial and health condition is a bonus for him. it seems you are single which is his victory.
firstly, strengthen your hold. you have to be financially strong. at this age, it may not be possible given your health conditions. so try some online jobs , maybe part time, but something which will help you earn. this will automatically restore your resources which have been depleted , aid in your medical treatment, and provide a backup incase your sister really drives you out.
next, do not get over stressed. menopause issues are directly connected with it. the more you stress, the more you fall prey to it. just give a damn to it for at least 10 minutes a day and relax. for fighting your situation you have to be fit. once you start earning head towards medical treatment.
next, i do hope you and your sister have a joint account in bank and 50-50 share in property. no matter how much drained out it is, transfer some of the amount into your own personal account. PLUS, KEEP IN MIND THAT BEING AN EQUAL OWNER OF YOUR PROPERTY YOU CAN NOT BE FORCED TO SELL IT OFF. IT IS ILLEGAL. if they continue to force you, draft a letter to the local police or whosoever concerned stating that your personal peace is being disrupted illegally.
next, THERE CAN NOT BE ANY REASON TO EVICT YOU FROM YOUR OWN HOUSE WHATSOEVER. IF THERE ARE NO LEGAL ISSUES INVOLVED, LIKE YOU HAVE SIGNED ON SOME PAPER STATING YOUR SISTER HAS THE POWER TO DO SO OR ANYTHING AS SUCH,GIVE A DAMN TO THEM. just stay cool and do not get irritated by what they are doing. as i guess, they are knowing this too. so they will try their best to provoke you into something which is against you. do not take any wrong step and give them a chance.
next, why do you have 3 dogs?..you are not financially so strong it seems. give it a thought.
next, she can not blame you. when she does, just pay her a shit.she needs psychological help. she has been married for 12 years and it was completely her own decisions that have put her in debt and financially narrow conditions. it is her responsibility to get over it. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SELL YOUR VERY EXISTENCE TO HELP HER.know this in your heart and fuck out all depression . and the next time she ponders over such things or abuses you, give the fact to her right on her face.
next, it is good that you have a friend. seek any legal help from him if possible. also ask him to be with you when your sister is supposed to visit you since she is a maniac. or just get out of your house till she visits and finds the house empty.
next, if you can, try to separate your sister from her husband and then try to know what is wrong with her. probably with that jerk not around, your sister might feel something for her own blood and gain her senses back.
you have nothing to worry about. just start making a few bucks. it will help you.
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