I am a 20 yr old guy, people call me logical and i look at myself the same way. I have been told i give good advice so i thought i would give it a try. I can give advice on pretty much anything, frienship, dating, emotional problems, health problems, pretty much anything. i dont however take any interest in answering questions like what should i buy a green shirt or a blue shirt. serious problems only. I like to help people, its a good feeling when someone likes what you have told them. and that is why i do it.
Gender: Male Member Since: February 11, 2006 Answers: 59 Last Update: July 16, 2006 Visitors: 6074
Favorite Columnists AskAndy sizzlinmandolin
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Last night my boyfriend and I went to a lounge with my friends. Me and my boyfriend came back to my house and told me as soon as we got in that he told my best friend that she's been looking better lately. This kind of upsetted me even though he told me himself. It makes me feel uncomfortable that if he goes out with me and my friends that he'd be checking them out.. which I guess all guys do anyway. But I mean, she is my best friend and all.. I just think that what he said to her should have been kept to himself. Like, I know that if I was hanging with his friends and I told one of them that they looked good that he'd be mad too. Plus, I've always been insecure about myself lately since my depression has gotten a lot worse.. so that might be why the comments he gave her made me upset. I don't know.. but do you guys think I'm overreacting? (link)
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I find it understandable why you got upset, but what you need to do is tell your bf how he made you feel by telling your friend that.By him telling you what he said he either has nothing to hide or is trying to make you jealous or upset only you can decide which it was since you know him personally. Depression is a toxic thing you must focus very hard on doing things that make you happy or even if all it does is put a smile on your face.I would just make the point that it makes you feel negative for him to tell your friend she is looking better. And if he respects how you feel he should be understanding. remember to tell him calmly and sincerely that will make the mood of the situation better.After all you dont want to accuse him of anything you just want for him to understand where you are coming from. hope this helps
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lately ive been lying to my parents alot because like they ask so many questions and they usually never let me go places..especially boys houses. they dont even know ive like been to one before? and when me and my friend were out to eat last night they called and were like so do u have a ride home? i was like umm yea..my friends dad even tho those guys were giving us one after we went back to hang out at his house for a little bit..and my mom is like ookay we just dont want you to go home with some strangers..and they dont even know i went to that kids house after or anything! i had to tell them i went back to my friends house for a little bit because otherwise they woulda been like oh you cant go to his house..we dont know him..im picking you up right now..i had to tell them a lie sorta like this before..i mean i feel SOOOO bad lying but they never let me do ANYTHING!!! they ask so many questions too..they are like overprotective with me and going over to guys house..heck they are protective with me going over to girls houses i just met and we are becoming friends if you know what i mean....i just dont know what to do!! me and my parents dont communicate well either..so i cant really talk to them and just tell them i want more freedom with guys and stuff..its too awkward. PLEASE SUGGESTIONS ON THIS TOO!!!
please dont call me a cunning lying little bitch or anything..i need to have some fun in my life! (link)
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i dont know how old you are but i can tell you this lies lead to more lies. and one day they will catch up to you, think about this what do you think is going to happen when your parents find out that you have been lying to them all this time? they are going to hit the roof! you NEED to tell them that you have lied to them and you feel terrible about it explain to them why you did it and if there is anyway you and your parents could work it out so both parties are happy. i have said it once before and i will say it again COMPROMISE that is the key.
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This guy that I used to want to date is showing some less than desirable qualities. Firstly, I found out he's a gay basher. He says that when queer eye for the straight guy comes on the television he wants to throw his boot through the screen. He's also sexist, and has said to me that men are smarter than woman, and that woman are stupid. He also said that anyone over 30 who isnt married must be gay, and that I'm a prude for saving myself for marriage. He's also made nasty comments about my weight, and I'm not fat, just average.The funny thing is he thinks he's hot but he's really not, he's about 20 pounds overweight and has an ugly hairstyle and outdated clothes. I would love to put him in his place one day but am too "nice". But it makes me mad when he constantly puts me and his other friends down. Should I say something to him? (link)
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Jerk ALERT! why in the heck are you talking to this guy when he is being such a jerk that is my first question. About gay bashing well i dont see the problem with how he expresses himself about gays. the thing that i do have a problem with is if he is calling you fat and telling you all these things that are negative you should not even waste your time talking to someone like that! yeah you can tell him something tell him being rude and negative to people and more importantly you is mean and disrespectful and he isnt exactly a amazing catch. can you say self made loser? walk away. females can be just as smart if not smarter than males known fact all it takes is education.
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i am basically clue less right now. everyone is against me going otu with my boyfriend. i dont know why but i have been with him for 7 months. that is a long time but i have been putting up with it but for the past week or so my bf has been telling how can you claim somthing that you dont see or touch often.. i noe this is kinds of pothedic but i have only seen my bf like 10 times in 7 months. it is makin me thing about everything my best friend has been telling me about how i should leave him and move on. i LOVE my boyfriend to death. i would do anything for him. he is my best friend and lover. it hurts so much knowing that everyone dis aprroves of us. from family to friends. mostly bc i am whtie and he is black but what hurts more is that i feel like i dont even have his trust. he says it isnt me but it is how mcuh he has been hurt in the past that is why he thinks i do stuff wit other guys there. and lately i have been thinkin about it but never can bc i love him so much. i dont know what to do. and what scary is the other day (4 days ago) someone called his cell but he put the house phone down so i wouldnt hear what it said but idk if it was a girl or guy. and it scarys. what do i do? i am sorry this is long but i need advice bc this is burnin me to hold it all in my heart. (link)
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first lets look at the facts, you have ONLY seen him ten times in the last 7 MONTHS. I find it extremely difficult to believe you LOVE this guy. Take my advice and think about what you are writing, if you really loved him to death why have you only seen him like 10 times in the last 7 months The best thing for you to do is take a break from him and from this subject. You need to think about what your goals are and do what you need to do to make your goals happen. Take up a hobby that makes you feel good, focus more on your life then on this guy. You sound like you are in a unhealthy relationship and the only way to change it is to realize that there is something that is not right.
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ok so is there supposed to be this, umm, thing inside your vagina? like i have this thing its kinda weird its like this thing of skin or whatever with some bump shaped thing. is there supposed to be something in there? i have no idea if this is normal or what. (link)
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this is probably a girl question that should be answered by a girl but hey you sound in need so heres some advice. I dont suppose you have a mom to talk to? if you do ask her. if not perhaps you have a family doctor you could talk to? this is a female thing therefore you need a female or a doctor its hard to diagnose your situation without seeing what you are talking about, because i have no idea what you are referring too.i have an idea what it could be but without seeing it i cant say. Go for doctor or female person. thats what i suggest
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Next year, I'm going to college, and I am freaking out =(. I'm worried that it will be really hard and that I won't be able to maintain a 3.0 GPA (the requirement to keep my great scholarship effective). So a few questions.
1. Is college really hard? How much time would you say do you have any free time (meaning not having to study, go to college, or work)?
2. Is maintaining a 3.0 possible? (not only possible, but probable?)
3. Are teachers/professors as understanding/nice as high school teachers, or are they "down to business and won't take any crap"? (lol)
Thank you!! Please add any other things that I should know (besides not partying hard and stuff like that..I know) (link)
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good grief calm down :-D. Your going to college not to war. Study hard dont quit until you know what you are supposed to know.
1.how hard it is depends on how much you study and how intelligent you are, you cant study too much!
2. of course is possible and probable, you made it through highscool just follow the same principles you used in graduating.
3. dont worry about how nice or down to business the professors are, worry about if your following there instructions and if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.
stay focused!
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i'm 15 and a girl and i have a best friend that is 15 and yes a guy. we like each other more than best friends and we really want to go out like boyfriend and girlfriend. the thing is my parents are very strict portuguese parents. THEY DONT WANT ME DATING UNTIL I'M 50!! i even asked my mom why she wont let me date..i asked if she didnt trust me and she just says well i dont ant any boy to take advantage of you and she doesnt want me to get hurt..and i told her that i'm not stupid & i know the consequences of everything..and its soo unfair because his parents dont mind..and my mom knows him well because he used to be one of her students but my father doesnt really know him at all..how do i get my parents to allow me to have a boyfriend? any tips? thanks =]
--jess (link)
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your young i can see your parents point of view, i would suggest asking your parents if he can come over some time to watch a movie and have some popcorn or something. While your parents are in the house, or parent. if you parent get to know him and like him then probably they will let you two do something on your own together. you may not like them being around but what do you have to hide? unless what you want to do is inappropriate then i could see the major problem with your parents being around.Get your parents to know and trust him and if he is a good guy they should get along fine, then a date just might be on its way. Oh and tell your parents he is just a close friend, you dont get a bf until your parents say you can have a bf. You can go against them but it will only cause problems, improvise with your parents that the trick. Hope this helps
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what is the best way to say no when a guy you dont like asks you out? (link)
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Tell him thanks for his interest but he isnt someone you would be interested in going out with, sorry. and if he asks why tell him your just not interested. try that save him some dignity and you will be doing a positive thing by not telling him that his dogface is not good enough for you :-D j/k
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I have a problem.
I cut.
LIke I stop every once in a while,
but than things at home, my mom, and stuff get me upset again.
So I cut again.
I don't kno what to do.
I want to stop, but I can't.
(link)
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I dont know what you mean when you say cut but i am assuming you cut yourself, this is not something i can advise through a couple paragraphs. I would not feel comfortable in giving you advice without know more about you and your situation. But for now, if you have to hurt something hurt your pillow you will feel better at the end of the day and you will have a way to release your frustrations. Cutting yourself will only complicate your life, it is not healthy and it wont help your self esteem. If the pillow idea is not good to you then try to do something else to take the place of cutting. try something that is non destructive until you find something that works. send me a private message if you would like to talk more
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Okay, here's the scoop. My friend Jon broke up with his Girlfriend Amy because he said he didn't love her, and that he could no longer stand being with her. They had been together a total of 1 year and 8 months. He broke up with her last week. Jon and I have had this little on/off fling going on, and I think that he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend on Valentine's day. I really like him, and would say yes if he asked me... but..
Well, I know this sounds silly, but Amy put Jon back to her number one spot on myspace after she changed it to last when he broke up with her. That's kind of a quick recovery if you ask me. I'm worried because I think he may still be 'seeing' her or telling her he loves her. Or in the future he might want to pursue a relationship with her. She's different, but she's beautiful. So, I can understand why he'd want her.
But he's sworn on a stack on bibles that he didn't want her anymore. I'm just so aprehensive on starting a relationship because he may cheat on me. He's cheating on Amy twice, but he said that's because she was flirting with other guys or whatever. I don't know what to do. Her cousin even asked Amy if the were dating, she said no but her myspace say's otherwise.
He's told me he liked me, and wanted to date me, but ever since she's done all this stuff with MySpace, I've been nervous.
:-/
Help. ♥.
Oh, PS, He asked me out for VDay... so?? (link)
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Reading your post one thing comes to my mind, an animal in the wild who senses danger will not proceed or it will proceed very carefully...The first hint of danger such as a visual view or scent of something dangerous it bolts out of there. Girl sounds like you need to bolt out of there, any guy that cheats will cheat again its a fact of prediction. Your story sounds complicated and messy, point is your better off finding a guy who wont cheat even when he feels as his gf has flirted with other girls.cheating on his gf because she flirted is childish. Seriously there is nothing pressing, go out with him if you wish have fun but stay casual. Dont get serious and dont let him get serious after all a date is just a date its not marriage. If you still feel as you cant trust him tell him your reasons and why you feel the way you feel and if he doesnt make you feel comfortable and trusting odds are he is not the guy for you. hope this helps
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Do you Know Magic? (link)
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Yes and no, I have played "magic" before. But if your referring to hocus pocus, well my wand is a bit rusty. Does that answer your question
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If you have to burn more calories than you eat to lose weight, then how is it possible to burn 2,000 calories every day? Like it is healthy to have 2,000 calories per day but that is a lot to burn off. You know how there are different types of figures like apple, pear, spoon, and hourglass? Well, I am an hourglass according to a quiz I took but does that sound right for a 14yr old/5ft 4in/137lb/27in waist/36in hips person? (Those were the questions they asked to determine my body shape). Also, I am not doing anything different in my life but I am gaining weight and I look a bit more pudgy plus my body is getting bigger, why? I have been on a diet and excercising. I am so confused! Please help. Thanks so much. (link)
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first of all you young girls and your obssession with your bodies, your mind is more important than your body. if you want to lose weight dont eat junk food assuming you do and dont drink soda assuming you do. if you dont do either then your problem is your not exercising enough, the problem here is that in order for anyone to help you with your weight they need to know your diet and what type of exercises you are doing and for how long. send me an email and we can dicuss a weight loss or control plan for you if you would like. but for now i will leave you with this, balance your food with your exercise. dont expect to eat a chocolate pie and then think by doing 10 jumping jacks you will burn the calories it does not work like that.
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hey ok im 17/f this is kinda complicated well lets just say im stuck... well ok about 3 weeks ago i saw my x from when i was 16 and we went out about a year back then we never had a serious relationship we only kissed but i grew to love this guy so much.. and we broke up when we moved into sixth form i missed him so much and out of the blue 3 weeks ago he texted me saying do i wana come round so i went to his house and we started kissing, hugging each other and this time i really felt a connection we was kissing with emotion and he told me he loves me and that hes missed me for a year. now he does not seem to communicate with me much.and if he does he does not say he loves me anymore!! i told him i am afraid when he goes to uni of losing him and he just said.. its inevitable we will break up.. i don't know what to do now some of my friends say to leave him alone and he will come to me when he is ready but then again will he? ohh and when i was at his house he said he will do anything for me and he ended up stripping but i didn't so i saw his penis alittle bit..but we never had sex and we never did anything. so what i am asking is what shall i do now???? he says he loves me but he can't love or be loving at this time in his life!!! help.. someone plz (link)
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there is no easy answer for you i am afraid, he is obviously not ready for a commitment. This is a time when you just have to leave it alone, let him know how you feel but that you cant wait for him forever. If you are meant to be then you will be if not then you must do as we all must do move on. Its a hard fact of life but its the thing to do, when something doesnt work out cut your losses and move on. You cant make him love you and you cant pressure him into doing anything all you can do is let him know how you feel and that you will be there for only so long. You sound very intense and if that is the way you act towards him your probably scaring the hee bee g bees out of him so chill out and live your life. Dont focus so much on him after all he is the not the center of the universe, with all things considered you are the center of the universe so focus on your goals and your life. One thing a lot of young people have is their bf or gf is the most important thing to them and that is really not how it is supposed to be. Good things come, they are not forced. in some things and this is one of them, take time to get away from your day to day surroundings when you get the chance and think everything through and think towards the future and try to piece together the puzzle of your life and see just where he might fit in. remember he needs to fit your puzzle, he is not the ENTIRE puzzle. good luck
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so theres this guy right. i met him at track and it was cool. we talked at meets and stuff and then the season ended and i didnt see him for awhile but now a new marking period started and i guess his schedule switched so i see him a lot and in the past couple weeks hes walked with me everywhere and met me at my locker and at first it was a little too strong for me but now im like ok. i might like him. but theres a couple problems... im a sophomore and hes a freshman and hes drinks and partys and i dont go for that, plus my parents are really uptight and i dont know how i would go about like telling them about him. so yea.. i really dont know what to do. hes asked me to hang out a couple times but i avoided it. im not sure how i feel about him. sometimes i want him and others i dont. help? (link)
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your obviously not serious about him, stick to your morals and go for a guy who fits your way of life and your parents rules.
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I have this friend. I wanted to be more than friends at one point, but I am pretty sure he doesn't know that. However, like before Christmas we were so close. We were with each other constantly. He was like the only person I have ever felt like I could bear my soul to, but I didn't because I didn't want him to think I was wierd.
On New Years, we went to the beach with like 30 of our friends. We hugged and mess like we always did, but then when we came back to school after New Years, half the time he acts like I am not even there. I just want ot be friends with him, and I don't even know why he's mad.
If you have any advice on how to talk to him please, please help me. Thank you in advance. (link)
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i could give you a long answer very logical but i wont i will just give you some good advice, ask him why he kissed you and all that what his intentions were and where do you stand if he has a good explanation alright but if not turn around walk away and move on simple to say hard to do i know but you cant dwell on things if someone isnt playing the same game. let him do what he wants and you do what you want.
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Ok, so I masturbate on school nights out of fear that I won't be too horny the next day and look at one of my friends the wrong way, ya know? But lately it hasn't been working so well, I still feel horny sometimes when I am at school. Don't suggest doing it in the morning because I barely have enough time for breakfast as it is, add that and well, it'd get messy. And also I have enough morals not to do it at school. So, if anyone knows the cure to unrelenting horniness please tell me.
15/m (link)
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geez enough with the long answers already makes me eyes sore, best way to kick the habit is either scare yourself by thinking about your manly stick is going to fall off by unnatural motion :-D not to mention hey man thats the hand you eat with, thats the fingers you lick after a messy meal think about where that hand has been :-D lol.ok try this on for size, stay physically active, everytime you feel that feeling coming on get down do 20 pushups jog in place for 10 minutes and drink a cold glass of water. make a negative habit a positive habit, and if your at school and you feel that way your looking at something that isnt helping! look away man look away! i could go on but i dont want to bore you stiff oops lol wrong word.
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so theres this guy. we use to be in love with each other. but we it failed completely. we were from two seperate worlds, and it would never work out.kinda like romeo and juliet kind of love, and situation..except the suicide part..lol. so anways we never did actually go out, but we were in love. and one day he just straight up told me it wasnt going to work and we were both just wasting our time. and of course being me, i didnt think of it as a waste of time, i thought of it as an experience i would alwasy rememeber, considering he was my first true love. now a couple weeks ago we started talking again, as friends, and he told me he loved me like three days ago, and he said he truly meant it. so me being stupid, i said i love you back. becasue i would take him back in a heartbeat. now over the past months we both changed ALOT, so now we have alot more in common, but it seems like are similiarities are making us, just not get along. so today we were hanging out with me and some of his friends and my friends, and some of his friends were girls...and it just seemed like he was more interested in them then me. and i guess you could call it jealous, because i couldnt believe he had the nerve to hit on them, when i was standing right there, and i care about him so much. usually when we fight hes like i didnt mean to and i love you and stuff..but this time he was just like fine whatever bye. and i walked away..and he didnt bother to stop me like he usually does..and i dont know what to do anymore..i love himm soo much. but i dont think he'll ever love me again, and im soo tired of loving someone who wont love me back. and i know i should talk to him or whatever but i cant..so i need other advice then just saying talk to him..so please if you can..help..thanks (link)
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sticky sticky sticky, your situation is i bet you cant guess what i am going to say:-D. Does the phrase merry go round mean anything to you? sounds like you have your mind filled with obssessive thoughts about this guy, you cant love someone you have not even gone out with i believe that is what you said. Take my advice focus on what is important to you as far as goals he knows you love him and if he really loves you he will come back if not your just as well better off. there are more fish in the sea as they say and odds are there are better ones out there for you to see. Be hopeful and remember the world is a big place for you to find happiness. good luck!
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i am a 14/f. sry this is so long.
my b/f and i have been going out for almost 4 months. his birthday is next month and we have talked about "experimenting". we want to see what it would be like if he were to stick his penis in my vagina. we wouldn't actually have sex so i would still be a virgin. but i know that guys pre-ejaculate and i was wondering if we should get a condom just incase he does pre-ejaculate. but we don't know 'who' to get it from. we have friends who have condoms but we don't want to ask them for one cuz rumors will spread. and we don't want to go buy a whole box 1.) b/c i'd get caught and in trouble 2.) b/c he would get in trouble. What should i do? should we still experiment if we can't get a condom? please help me.
thx (link)
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whooaaaa i say whoaaa!!! No no no, i just had to respond to this. You are 14 not that it means anything to you, here is 1 rule to live by IF YOUR NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BUY YOUR OWN CAR YOUR NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE EXPERIMENTING SEXUALLY. Why rush something like that, your young and the world is not going anywhere. Todays choices are tomorrows results, take my advice and wait no matter what your bf says and if he really cares about you he wont pressure you because he would respect how you feel.
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13/m
Ok, well, im a tad unpopular (Guys like me, girls....not so much.) And I have a crush on this girl, shes really pretty, really nice and everything. But she is really mostly kind of charity for the reallly unpopular kids. She dances with them at dances and pretty much dedicates herself to that. Well, I told her best friend about how I liked her (what possesed me to do that, i dont know) So I have no idea how to handle this. Her friends might alienate her as people have done with others i'd liked. A while ago, but still. I cant be sure how she will react, although i suppose that keep me from doing a lot of things. (link)
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Why you told this girls friend that you like this girl is beyond me my only thinking is that you didnt have the courage to tell this girl yourself. maybe i am wrong, do yourself a favor quit stalling and tell this girl you think she is amazing and go from there but remember its all a game dont act to obssessed with her.. girls dont like that in a guy for some reason :-d. Something like this does not require analyzation and contemplation, its just a girl.
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