I'm a student of Theology, to be specific, Catholic Theology, and its become my passion. I have been in a strong and wonderful relationship for over 3 years that even made it through high school; so I must be doing something right, but don't get me wrong-- I screw up plenty. As a spiritual person I have studied the meaning of sex, attraction, human love, etc., and I continually find that its more and more an incredible sign of truth and beauty than I had ever imagined. You'll be surprised with what the Church teaches about sex, its unlike anything you've ever imagined. I also like video games, ping pong, fellowship, family guy, and futurama (returning with new seasons after the release of a movie next year!!!) I guess my goal is to give the best advice possible so that you may one day see the beauty of life that I have found because of an unimaginably good God with the insight from the only place in the world that claims the Fullness of Truth: the Catholic Church.
Gender: Male
Occupation: Student, Video Editor, Teacher
Age: 20
Member Since: February 10, 2006
Answers: 3
Last Update: February 12, 2006
Visitors: 2283
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We don't need religion. Hear me out. If Jesus were to come down from Hevan and say "I am the son of God" and showed us all of is water to wine stuff, scientist could test it and then Christianity would become a science and all other religions would be be proven wrong and therefore not be religions.
That was my little prologue, here is my question Is it possible that our societies have reached a point in which we can admit there is no need for religion and have good morals without a book or God(s) to tell us what they are? (link)
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I was having a discussion with a friend one day and he said, " ya know, science is winning." I looked at him asking, "winning what?" For some reason, many people see science and religion in some kind of reality show competing head to head to see which one will come out on top...
"Somehow, the mere fact of social and technological complexity overwhelms the presumptive simplicity of old-fashioned Christianity, as if human beings were ruminating animals without a care in the world before the advent of cellular phones and cable TV."
where does this spirit of competition come from? In fact, faith and reason go hand in hand... that is large reason why religion is still here, becuase it makes sense. The quote was taken from an exrememly good article, which, if you are truly in pursuit of understanding this question, I hope you may take some time to read:
http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft0110/articles/reno.html
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ok SO HERES THE STORY.
i have a boyfriend of 6 months and i love him and everything but..
I ALWAYS think other boys are cute. and one of the boys that i thought were cute was in my dream and we kissed! i dont get it..im starting to like other boys? should i move on because im tired of him? helppp..
by the way i never talk to these boys but one of them always stares at me at lunch lol (link)
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Look at your relationship with your boyfriend now, in itself is there any reason to see it stop? You will find boys attractive for the rest of your life... if everytime you based your relationship on pure feelings, you wouldn't last long in any relationship. Or maybe your not ready for exclusive relationships yet and you should make yourself more available to get to know other personalities. Just don't let yourself become a lead-on for every boy that catches your eye! That would be trouble. Look at your relationship with your boyfriend now, is he everything you would want in a boyfriend? Is an actual friend? Does he care for you more than he does himself? Most importantly, are you happy? If yes, I would be careful about swaying in the seas of attraction, if not, than give yourself time to meet other guys.
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Is masturbation biblically wrong? What's your view on it? (link)
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Thou shalt not lust. I think you answer lies there. Sexual climax is not possible without sexual stimulation from the sensible features including the mind, and this stimulation is usually based off of fantasizations with another person. In your mind you actually command the actions of another person to manifest personal sexual climax. In one sense, it's mental rape. I know that may sound ridiculous to some, but that is honestly what it is. Rape is forcing your self upon someone sexually, and that is what happens within the mental faculties: manipulation of another person to suit your will: lust.
The following may be a lot more than you wanted to know, but I wrote just to give you further insight to what I have learned on the subject these past few years. For some people hearing that it's morally wrong won't convince, so what about masturbation not as a negative religious practice, but an unhealthy one? i.e. bad for you. Before I go on, a little disclaimer of my credentials: Masturbation has been one of my greatest pursuits Theologically, Philosophically, Biologically, practically, etc... I've studied it from all aspects for the last 3 years. I've even done speeches, written research papers, discussed with peers, and given talks to numerous audiences on it. I am still at University and exposed to some of the greatest sources of information on it. It seems to be one of the most commonly accepted practices, but from what I've found, it is responsible for some of the greatest corruptions of our human sexuality, failed sexual relationships, thus leading to failed marriages (because people believe sex makes the relationship when really the relationship should make the sex) increased pornography etc... I believe it is one of the greatest wounds to not only men but women as well, and for some its a constant battle-- I ask that you take the following information with as much openness as possible, and if you find truth in it, I hope you share it with others.
I once was a strong supporter of masturbation and agreed with the common acceptance of it, I even defended it. My views have changed, let me show you how. Let's say you walk up to your doctor and ask, "Is masturbation bad for you?" Most doctors will say, "no." Check online forums and the answer remains the same, 'no it's fine, in fact it's healthy for you.' No you won't grow hair on your palms, or go blind (as older traditions would say to dissuade young men from doing it), and this is very good news indeed. Ejaculation or the orgasm, is not an unhealthy bodily function, in fact it is completely normal and healthy. But what about 'autoeroticism', a fancy word for the self arousal and bringing to climax, in contrast to actual sexual intercourse?
The first point I would like to bring up is the breakdown of self-control through this sexual 'giving in'. One of the few defenses used for masturbation is that it helps control (I apologize for focusing on the male, as I am one, I feel it only right to speak on this behalf) a man's sexual tension. As if young men, especially teens are just balled up sexual frustrations that demand relief or else they'll go find the nearest girl and get her in to bed. So the answer popular culture gives is to give into it.... but does this attend to the sexual desire in a healing fashion? No! It is like pouring gasoline on an already burning house in order to get rid of the fire! By practicing submission to sexual tendencies, the chances of denying these urges grows exponentially difficult. Our culture tells us to give into every urge, deny our inhibitions, and act... Mankind cannot resort to this, there are several human urges that are necessary to be trained and controlled-- a process of maturity, growth, strength, discipline, and will. Should I steal a candy bar because I have a sweet tooth? Should I actually kill someone when they have offended me greatly? I think the answer is obvious, the human psyche has these emotive feelings for reasons, but they are not to be answered at whim. Self-control is a must for healthy decision making and personal growth. It is kind of an insult to be told that you can't control your actions, like a barbaric animal relying on instinct rather than intellect; and so all men are told to do is not even think about denying these urges! It's an ironic falsehood that our culture finds itself so advanced, civilized, and intelligent, that it can't get past this. But again, I'm not for the repression of these urges because they are wrong, they are there for a good reason (we need to procreate and bond with our sexual partner) and as I will show later: the channelling of these emotions into healthy outlets is necessary....
I know I also may continue to talk about "our culture" but this is simply the mindset of today-- and when I say that, I don't mean to separate myself righteously from the 'evil world'. I only wish to find the sickness and try to find the cure within my culture and myself.
Believe it or not there are actual doctors that would advise against masturbation. Check out this site for more info on the fatal consequences of over masturbation, and yes, I said fatal consequences:
http://www.herballove.com/library/resource/overmas/
Some effects that have been found from excessive masturbation is such:
Fatigue
Lower back pain
Stress / Anxiety
Thinning hair / Hair Loss
Soft / Weak Erection
Premature Ejaculation
Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
Groin / Testicular Pain
Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone
Here is a quote from some of their studies... Now unless you are learned in the field of biology, particularly concerning the chemical functions of the body, you will read it with raised eyebrows:
"Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusual amounts of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversions and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively practices masturbation.
Masturbation at a young age:
Starting masturbation too young will cause neuro-endocrine dysfunction. The brain/pituitary-adrenal-testicular function cannot support a testosterone burst for “holding up an erection due to a low level of bioelectric potential in your brain/parasympathetic nervous system.
Loss of memory:
This is a dangerous side effect of over-masturbation and signals that the brain is being over drained of acetylcholine. Over-masturbating can also drain the motor nerves, neuro-muscular endings, and tissues of acetylcholine and replace it with too much stress adrenalin which is where absentmindedness, memory loss, lack of concentration, and eye floaters come from. To fight these symptoms, the chemical levels in your body need to be balanced.”
Next subject: the 'cuddle chemical'
This area particularly focuses on the female practice of masturbation and what happens biologically. Through the sexual act of intercourse, the genital response isn’t the only one, but there is a rush of chemicals that are there for more than just pleasure. In women particularly, during orgasm and birth the body procures a special release of a chemical known as oxytocin, adequately named the cuddle chemical. During birth the greatest amount is released creating a powerful bond between mother and child. This rush of chemicals employs feelings of great attachment toward the cause: in this case the newborn. This is why a mother feels so protective and compassionate towards her child, and in sex with her partner, dare I say her husband? You wonder why it seems women become so attached to their partner after sex? Where the man may even find it easy to walk out of that relationship, the woman experiences more trauma and stress because her body is telling her that this person is there for the rest of your life. Hence, the powerful physical attachment. But what about when this oxytocin is released at times other than intercourse? This bond is weakened and yes, wasted. Here is where masturbation becomes harmful by having the woman experience orgasm outside of sexual intercourse. It is simply not designed to waste this critical part of sexual development without a partner. The intimacy designed for the woman's relationship is stunted. Here is an interesting tidbit: Even thinking of someone we love can stimulate this hormone; in an observation of women in good marriages, they were asked to think about their husbands. The level of oxytocin was found rise in their blood stream in greater amounts and speed than couples who struggled in sexual exclusivity. Here you can go for more info: http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/biology/female/female-oxytocin.shtml
Returning to men and the effects of masturbation of relationships:
Masturbation develops an orgasmic response to a certain stimulus mentally and physically— meaning, you get used to a certain way of climaxing. The body actually adjusts and is trained to this kind of stimulus. But what happens when sex is experienced with a partner? Actually, men may find it difficult to orgasm during intercourse, and sometimes experience a complete inability to do so. They must resort to solitary stimulation to ejaculate because this is how they have geared their sexual faculty. I'm sorry, but that would just plain suck.
A final quote:
“The adolescent who masturbates prior to marriage demonstrates a selfish impatience as well as an obsession with sexual gratification. But masturbation is even more harmful in marriage, where it attenuates the physical attraction between husband and wife. To have a joyous sexual experience with one’s spouse takes time, tenderness, patience, and humor. Masturbation, by comparison, is easy: There is the urge, there is the act.”
--Dr. Paul C. Fox, “The sin in masturbation”
Having read all of this, I congratulate you for sticking through. And I know I wrote earlier that I would talk later about the channeling of sexual urges, rather than submission or repressions, but holy cow-- I've been up all night. If you are interested to hear more let me know. I didn't even touch on the Theological aspects of sex and the falsehood of 'autoeroticism'.
God bless you.
A little bibliography for the other sources:
Lin, N K. "Fatal Consequences of Masturbation." Over Masturbation Resource Center. Herballove.com. 21 Nov. 2005 .
Paul C. Fox, “The sin in masturbation,” New Oxford Review (June, 1996).
Byerly, Paul, and Laura Byerly. "Oxytocin in Women." The bridge between touch and sex. The Marriage Bed Inc. 21 Nov. 2005 .
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