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Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30965


am i anti-social person?
coz i got no friends or bestfriends.

i am a really really shy guy
who can't go out without a companion
currently dealing with depression
always gets angry

but i like friends,
bu find it really hard to make one

i'm 17 male, asian
i need advice (link)
Too bad about the depression, dude.

If you feel a need to always have someone with you when you go somewhere (common in Asia) and want friends then you aren't anti-social.

Generally speaking, people gravitate to folks who like themselves. A lot of depression sufferers don't love themselves and so they aren't as likely to find friends.

What you need to work on is just being relaxed and respecting yourself. Everything else will follow from that. So don't overthink and try to keep things basic.


i liked this guy in my class
and everyone keeps on telling both of us that we make a great couple
but im not sure if he likes me back
he:
looks at me during class
he tells me everything(and im always the fist)
he always compliments me
he always laughs at my not so funny jokes
he keeps on telling me that im beautiful
he always listens to my advice and always gives me advice
my friends say that he doesnt ever stare at someone not even a girl the way he does(in a good way)

but today i was on msn with him and he randomly tells me that my best friend just asked him if he liked me(but he never told me his response)

Does he like me or not

(we are both in 6th grade) (link)
He definitely likes you.

Remember, from here on in, know that when a guy is giving you a lot of compliments, staring at you and talking to you a lot he wants to get with you. Guys don't spend time with girls they either can't get or they don't want.


Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months...We've talked about having sex and he said he wants whatever I want. We play around and stuff when we're alone but he never goes any further then fingering me...Should I make the first move to take his clothes off and get on with it or let him? (link)
I don't understand it. The logical move after she lets you slip your hand into her panties is to try to pull her pants/skirt and panties off. It could be that he stops there because he is either afraid of getting you pregnant or he has some kind of performance anxiety.

Incidentally, if you want him to last longer during intercourse, blow him or give him a handjob to completion and then take your pants/skirt and panties off and tell him, "now it's your turn." Don't hesitate to teach him how you want your clit licked and sucked. It will take some of the pressure off of him, too. Then when he's hard, you can ask him to f**k you.


I eat wayyy to much when I start I cant stop. I need to quit junk food and stop eating it forever. How can I do this? (link)
Stay out of fast food joints and don't have junk food in the house. If it's not available to you then it's pretty tough to consume it.


Im 15 f and I'm a little above average which I have a feeling it's only going to go up. I try not to eat much but I can't help myself so much snacks and food. And when I say I'm going to exercise I don't. I get really upset and sometimes I eat my feelings but it's not binge disorder. I'm afraid it's going to get worse and I want to lose some weight before I go on vacation (link)
If you are only a little above average you are probably perfect. Women are meant to be soft and retain some fat. Nobody likes hugging skin and bones. It's also what gives you boobs, hips and a butt.

As for the eating issue, yeah, you gotta find a way to deal with that. Do you like to eat anything that is good for you when you feel lonely or depressed? Grapes, for example? Peanuts? Yogurt? Or just try to stay away from things rich in fat and/or sugar.

If you exercised everyday you would definitely feel better. You will sleep deeper, making you more rested and energetic when you wake up. A more toned body will enlarge the number of guys attracted to you. Swimming is the best exercise. It puts little strain on the joints and works every muscle in the body, burning boatloads of calories. Not to mention the way it tones a woman's body. Yum!


21 female

So I'm not necessarily the most experienced girl. And for some reason whenever I am sexual with someone, it always turns out different than I thought it would.

In my head it's perfect and then when It actually comes time to doing it, I feel like I'm doing it completely wrong and It's not sexy at all.

Does anyone else feel like this? Maybe I'm doing it right (whether it's something small from sucking/kissing his neck to giving a bj) but for some reason I don't feel like I ever do anything correctly. I don't feel sexy and get hot and heavy even when I'm top of a guy half naked and start kissing him all over. Maybe I think about it too much when I'm in the act, I don't know!

Any advice to get through this? (link)
Another woman overthinking.

Me lady, you are doing fine. You have some screwed up imaginary ideal in your head that nobody can match. Please try to relax and simplify your thinking so you don't end up an emotional pretzel.

So what you have to do is enjoy being you. You're a good person, right? You're trying your best to make a relationship work, both in and out of the bedroom, right? That is all anyone can ask. Plus your boyfriend is enjoying seeing you naked a WHOLE LOT.

Yes, there will be clumsy moments in bed. How do you think I felt the time I farted while I was having sex with my girlfriend? Or when we were rolling around on the bed and I just about pushed her completely off of it? Or when I got a cramp in a calf muscle while I was on top of her pumping away. It happens. We're human and imperfect.

Sex isn't a rite, it is a party with your clothes off. See it in that way and just go for it.


Hi! Im Gracie and Im 13 years old. I have an older brother named Matt(16) and a twin sister called (Lissa). Our dad is a single parent. Hes 36, he and my mom had kids really young. Hes 2 years older than mom. Dad says my mom had depression, I think it was Post Partnum depression. Anyway, My mom left a few months after we were born. Me and Lissa were 8 wks early so we had to stay in the hospital longer than most babies. Mom left a few months after we got out. The thing is, Ive been feelin a little upset lately and Ive been thinkin about my mom alot. I love my dad, he's the best dad in the world but I really wish my mom were around. Dad doesnt get things like boys and periods and hair and make-up. Its embarassing when I have to talk to my friends mom about periods and what to take for pain and its kinda annoying when I have to come on this website and ask people I dont even know about things that my mom should have been here to tell me (although I am grateful for the advice everyone here on advicenators give me, I didnt mean to be offensive guys). I just see other girls with their moms hanging out or going to school stuff and its not fair. Everyone tells me that I shouldnt get upset about something I cant change, but I cant help it. I try to get over it but I cant. Its stupid but I miss my mom even though I never got to know her. I guess I want to know how to stop feeling so bad about my mom, and how to get over it? Ive spent my whole life thinking about my mom and how great it would be if she came home and how awesome it would be to have a mom around like all my friends do. But Im soo sick of thinking about stuff that'll never happen but I STILL cant stop wondering, why did she leave? Why didnt she love me enough to stay? I really wanna forget about it, and stop caring because If she cared about me at all she would be here,right? Anyway, sorry for rambling and venting soo much, I sound pathetic lol. Any advice? (link)
First, your situation is not uncommon. So you definitely aren't alone. Your feelings are justifiable and understandable.

Your mom almost certainly didn't leave because of you, but some personal issue she had that she felt crippled her ability to be a good parent to you. My brother has kids who are in a boat similar to yours. She was a drug addict when my brother kicked her out the door and she was and still is in no shape to contest custody.

As hard as it is, you need to step back and say that things apparently worked out pretty well for you even with the separation from your mother. There are a lot of boys who have single parent mothers who can't answer or get boy problems or the way boys look at things.

Not to mention that, as corny as it may strike you, that half the planet deals with far worse things daily than you will ever see. So while it may sound weird to say this, you should be kind of grateful that you had a dad willing to step up to the plate and do what's right. And the simpler and more down to earth you look at things the better, I think.


I am 18 and female. I recently split up with my girl friend who i love to peices and we had to finish the relationship cuz she couldnt handle the distance cuz she got told go live with her nan, i dont know if i should fight to keep her or let her go and move on? any suggestions would be greatful (link)
Sometimes negative events result in positive outcomes. That is, when you move on from your relationship with your previous girlfriend it gives you a chance to meet someone even better.

At your age, though, you need to do a lot of exploring, dating a wider variety of people and maybe living overseas after college. So don't get tied down right now. Just meet people and have fun and kick butt at school.


Okay I am 16/f I have blondish brown hair - its like its changing to brown SO slowly. anyways I have been growing it out and right now it's down to my chest and it took me the whole school year to get it that way. My boyfriend likes it long and tells me not to cut it. I had it medium-short a long time ago and I liked how much easier it was and healthier too... without all the split ends. Just sort of like a fresh start- is that crazy ... I know it's just hair and it'll grow back but should I get it cut??? I have prom in less than a year now and then graduation... HELP please!!! (link)
Women look better with long hair. In fact, a woman with hair down to her butt is very sexy. The trouble with short hair on a girl is that it makes her look kinda boyish at times. Not hot.

Now I'm a guy and also have had hair as long as the middle of my back (a long time ago). Yeah, it is harder to wash. But if you trim it a bit every now and again it will look good.


16/F So I had sex for the first time a couple days ago and I started my period the next day. We did not use a condom so I was paranoid about him cumming inside me but he's experienced and said he didn't and I trust him. I have already had my cherry popped so I know it's not me bleeding from my first time having sex. I was wondering, if he accidentally DID cum inside me even if he didn't think he did, could I possibly become pregnant even if I'm on my period? I doubt I am but it feels better to make sure. (link)
You had your period after you had sex. You're golden. Relax.

But the paranoia you are now experiencing should be a warning. Get birth control! And absolutely a condom everytime, too.


Okay, so it's my 8th grade year at sylvan hills middle school in Atlanta,Ga. I was on the cheerleading team last year and I'm automatically on for 8th grade year since I was a cheerleader last year. I was good last year,but I don't know how to do a split.I can go down little on the floor and I'm almost to the ground but I can't go all the way. (link)
I'm a guy and I used to be able to do the splits when I was in high school. It took months of daily stretching exercises, but I was finally able to get all the way down. So keep working at it. Do at least a half hour of stretching your quads a day.


18/f
So, I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now and we have just started having sex (as in its been a few months now). However, we have been doing everything else for about 2 years.

When i was younger, we had a live-in babysitter. It wasnt EXACTLY that he would touch anything specific, but on many occassions his hands would be technically down my pants. When I was little I thought nothing of it cause I trusted him alot. It wasnt until about grade 4 or so that I started realizing something wasn't right, especially on nights he would do the same thing when I was thought to be asleep (I would purposely turn over the stop it).

He's far away now and my family does not know. The only people that do are my boyfriend and some close friends. However, I have been reading things that traumatic experiences when younger can affect someones ability to open up I suppose sexually. Pretty much, I have never had an orgasm and its starting to upset my boyfriend.

There have been times when I feel Ive gotten really close, but it gets to the point that I will physically grab him to make him stop. I never let him pass that point and I can't help it. I almost mentally just start saying stop, even though it feels amazing, and I will make him stop.

Do you think this could do with my past? Is there anything I can do to get past this? I really just want my boyfriend to not feel bad, and he really does a great job... I just can't help but make him stop.

Any ideas? (link)
I think it definitely could be your past that is the problem. It's like you are guarding a part of yourself by not letting go and having an orgasm. Completely understandable.

Go get counseling for it. Talking things out at length with a pro who has handled innumerable cases such as yours can be very freeing for you and will allow you to open up more in bed.

Just remember to tell your boyfriend that the healing process can take time and to be patient and understanding.

Btw, you should tell your family and find out the guy's name. If you know who the guy is, email the police where he lives and fill out a report. The statute of limitations will likely have passed by now, but they may still decide to do some further checking on him and he may ultimately get what is coming to him. You could end up being a very valuable witness in another case he perpetrated.


Ive been with my b/f for 5 years and have always enjoyed sex/love making with him. Lately I cant get into it and havnt orgasmed in a while. What can I do to get in the mood. I dont masturbate, I dont know why I dont, I just feel weird putting my fingers there, but I think I could enjoy myself with a toy I just never felt the need to purchase something so expensive when I can get the real thing. I dont want to substitute him, maybe just learn more about myself so I can enjoy it more with him. Any suggestions? (link)
No law saying you have to masturbate. In fact, probably at this point, the main benefit you would get out of masturbation is to do it in front of him and really turn him on. And maybe you will like being watched.

As far as not being able to get into the mood, that is usually a sign of one of two things:

1. That the relationship is beginning to run its course, that the fire is really no longer there.

2. You are just having a bad patch. That can happen. People's moods can be funny things.

So you just need to sit down with yourself and honestly analyze whether or not you feel you are still getting what you want out of the relationship. Sometimes things just get too predictable and, deep down, you want to do something more daring or be with someone new.

You can also try the psychological trick of waking up each day and acting like he could die in a car accident tomorrow and so you want to love him up as much as you can today. That might help bring some emotions to the fore that had been kinda left behind a while back.


Me and my boyfriend have an extremely active sex life. There was never one time he didnt nut after sex or sexual activities. I know hes always satisfied and im not saying that im not because i am but i just wont cum. Now i know the concept of women possibly not being stimulated enough to cum only throuh intercourse because the clitorus isnt getting enough stimulation but when he gives me oral sex my clit is beyond stimulated for very long periods of time and still nothing. Ive tried being relaxed while tensing up my lower area or either of those alone as well as focusing on how good it feels and breathing through my nose but nothing is getting me there. Anybody got some good experience and advice for me? (link)
You didn't say if you masturbated or not because that is how we learn how we liked to be stimulated and what an orgasm is. If you haven't, you should start. Take your time. Maybe use a little lubricant on the hood of your clit so it won't get sore from the friction of your fingers against it.


The problem, though, is that you are indeed too focused on it and your nervousness about it is killing your ability to climax. Once you do have one, I think you will be fine.

Here, try this:

Sit on top of him with his penis inside you. Close your eyes, let your muscles go limp and then begin undulating your hips back and forth while also rubbing your clit against his pubic bone. Focus only on the sensations in your groin. You are getting stimulated two ways by doing this. Don't stop doing it until you have cum. If he has cum first then oh well. You can always go back for a second round after he gets it up again.

Good luck. Don't feel guilt about this. Millions of women have this problem.


My best friend told me he doesn't want to be friends anymore. We have been involved like we made out and gone to second base. But then he went to San Antonio. I had a really big crush on him for the longest time. Then he tells me about this girl Jessica whom he likes and use to work with. And i tell him about this guy ii met named Shawn and i try to be a good sport, and tell him i am happy for him, but i was mad. Then he says to call him, and i did, but he doesn't answer, then he calls me back. He tells me i am special to him and i am like his twin, because we're so alike in many ways. Well the next day we had a phone conversation about how I went to someone's house and got high with them, and i was scared, and he seemed to be understanding. Well i get a missed call from him and then i call him back and he said i called because i don't think we should be friends anymore, and i was just like um okay? then he said bye and hung up and i texted him asking him why and he said because your a liar. Then i called again and asked him what did i lie about. He said i was standing in front of his house. and i was like what are you talking about? i was in my bed and really upset. I called him today and texted him asking him why he was mad at me. and i left him a voice mail saying i wanted to talk like mature adults but he hasn't called or texted me. i don't know what to do. and i can't figure out why he's mad at me? i thought maybe this was a joke or something but he hasn't said anything. what should i do? (link)
All you are doing by continuing to communicate with him is perpetuating drama, which makes it harder to move on.

Look, change happens. Friends come and go, as do lovers, sometimes for stuff that may seem a little surreal. Just try to learn from it so that your next relationship is more successful.


Love is relationship or sex? (link)
That is known as a false dichotomy. You can look the term up on Google.

An intimate relationship includes sex but doesn't define the totality of the relationship all by itself.


I am 18 years old and my guy really wants me to give him a hickey. His friend says its to show others he's mine and concidering he has already cheated on me once, I really want to do it, but I am incapable of giving a hickey. I have tried over and over on my arm but I cant do it. It only apprears as a small red mark that goes away in a matter of seconds. What can I do to give him a hickey? (link)
Tell your boyfriend to grow up. Hickeys are for junior high schoolers.

Btw, when you suck some of the skin on his neck into your mouth and between your teeth, it does feel really good, but it will also definitely leave a mark, especially if you take some time sucking on it.

The weird thing is it is like he wants to be owned. I wonder if he has submissive tendencies and wants you to dominate him? He probably wouldn't admit it, but you ought to ask him if he's ever thought of wanting to be tied up. It sounds like he may have.


Hi,
I just started working at a new school. I do enjoy my job but it gets tough and nerve wrecking at times because I believe my boss dislikes me. I have tried it all, from just working, kissing up, or just flying under the radar. What can I do to get her to like me, and how can I deal with her, because we need to work together for a while. Thank you for the response! (link)
You have two choices:

1. Just accept the fact you don't like each other (and you wouldn't be the first to have a boss who didn't think much in a personal way of one of his employees) and do the best you can under the circumstances, or

2. Quit and find a workplace where things are less tense. Unfortunately, with the economy in the shape it is in, that is easier said than done. In any event, I think it would behoove you to start sending your resume around just to see if anything more inviting arises from it.


I've been out of school for about a month, and since I've been home for the summer, I've hardly ever left the house. I go to bed around 1 or 2 AM and often don't get out of bed until 1 or 2 PM even if I wake up at 11 or 12. I feel useless and depressed since I don't have anything to do during the day, which is why I stay in bed after I'm awake. I don't want to start my day at 3PM anymore, but I don't know how to fix my sleep schedule so I can be up by at least 10. Has anyone experienced this kind of problem before who can offer solutions? (link)
Dude, I was like you when I was in junior high and high school with regard to your sleeping habits, except I had friends, played in local sports leagues and generally had no trouble finding stuff to do, whether it was just going down to the schoolyard to shoot hoops, bike or take the bus to the beach or read.

Look, you don't need to fix your sleeping habits if you are going to be a loner. And even then you can still find stuff to do. Don't just sit on the couch and watch tv and let your brain turn into Cheez-Whiz. Learn to play guitar or bass, read, start a blog or a website, workout at the gym, etc.


I'm just wondering, is it against the law to hit a girl? Because there is this girl in my class who i wanna smack, would i get in trouble? If it helps i live in Ontario, Canada. Thanks (link)
That would be assault and battery, which carries with it jail time.

Besides, hitting a woman is a cowardly act at best. You are only allowed to do that when she hits you first. Then it is open season.




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