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What can I do about my job situation?
Hi,
I just started working at a new school. I do enjoy my job but it gets tough and nerve wrecking at times because I believe my boss dislikes me. I have tried it all, from just working, kissing up, or just flying under the radar. What can I do to get her to like me, and how can I deal with her, because we need to work together for a while. Thank you for the response!
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You have two choices:
1. Just accept the fact you don't like each other (and you wouldn't be the first to have a boss who didn't think much in a personal way of one of his employees) and do the best you can under the circumstances, or
2. Quit and find a workplace where things are less tense. Unfortunately, with the economy in the shape it is in, that is easier said than done. In any event, I think it would behoove you to start sending your resume around just to see if anything more inviting arises from it.
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I'm not sure this is going to help as some of your information is missing. From what you have written it sounds very much like something I heard at a lecture I attended. The lecturer was a Dr. Timothy Edmond's ( I think this is his correct name, it has been over 30 years) a PHD in psychology from Louisiana State University.
As he told his story he had a supervisor for whom he could not satisfy either. So one day he sat down with his supervisor and asked just exactly what it was that the supervisor wanted him to be doing. As the supervisor ran through the list of things he pulled out a pocket notebook and wrote down each thing as an item in a list.
When the supervisor finished with the list of things he wanted done, Dr. Edmond's read the list back and asked if this is what the supervisor wanted of him. The answer was yes. Dr. Edmond's then said this is what you expect of me, nothing more and nothing less correct. The supervisor acknowledge that this was exactly what he wanted and expected.
Dr. Edmond's then dated and placed the time of day of the meeting on the page and put the notebook in his pocket. The following week Dr. Edmond's began doing exactly what was on the list, nothing more and nothing less. By the end of the week he is supervisor called him into the office furious that other things were not getting done.
DR. Edmond's pulled out his notebook and read back the list of things his supervisor had said was expected of him from the previous weeks meeting. According to Dr. Edmond's from that point on he and his supervisor got along famously.
I've used this myself one or twice in the past 30 years and it has worked well. I'm not sure this will help in your situation, but thought I would pass it along.
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You can start by putting yourself in her shoes; are you doing (or NOT doing) something that she needs/wants you to do/say? Consider how your actions/words come across to her.
If that doesn't help you, try sitting down with her (when it's convenient for her!) and being honest; letting her know which parts of your job are stressful for you, and -most important- ask for her advice/suggestions on how you could improve/do things differently.
If neither of those seem to help, I recommend reading "Monster Boss" by Patricia King - it's a business book, but it's totally NOT boring (actually, it's pretty entertaining) and has helped me several times when I've had issues with my job/boss.
Good luck!
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