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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
If a guy is acting like he likes you then starts avoiding you...Then makes rude remarks on how he dislikes you wearing revealing dresses...Yet you always caught him peeping over your cleavage most of the time?...He makes sure you're there in the party he's attending yet will only be obnoxious to you making snide remarks on how you look...even goes overboard by calling you a slut... He studies every nook and cranny of your dress (even saw a very tiny hole once on my armpit!That's how crude he can be sometimes!)
Bottomline: he can be a total JERK sometimes yet I can't seem to put my finger on it. He made a pass at me on a drinking spree with friends yet he became cold and distant afterwards. He was an angel before...But lately he's changed into somebody I dont know? I'm just clueless... Talked to him about it yet he denies it meant anything? He's just hard to fathom. I think I need an expert on behavior on this?
The Answer
Maybe he is into you, maybe he isn't. My question is: Do you like him?
It sounds to me like he isn't just a jerk, he also has some issues relating to people and is clueless on appropriate social behavior. In short, the boy has baggage you can't possibly understand at this point.
If you don't find him or his behavior attractive, and I certainly wouldn't, then it doesn't really matter what he thinks/feels/wants from you. Stop speculating on his bizarre behavior, he's the clueless one not you. As long as you know your own mind, you're doing just fine.
(If you do find him attractive, you're probably going to have to take the chance and speak to him about this behavior once more, 'cause it's way to weird for anyone to figure out without asking him. But since he's already denied being interested in you, I'd just let this one go.)
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The Question
How do I get this picture I printed out onto a T-shirt?
The Answer
You can buy transfer paper from most craft stores and even from paper supply places like Staples or Business Depot sometimes. You can iron that image on to your T-shirt. But honestly most of those iron on transfers don't stand up in the wash very well, so if you want to where this thing a lot it will fade away very quickly.
You'll be better off to go to a store where they can do it for you. Some photo printing places can do it as well for a small fee. It's really not that expensive at all, there is a shop in my town (Toronto, Canada) that will put anything on a T-shirt for $25.
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The Question
I'm 15/f, and my mum has a lot of problems including alcoholism which I won't go in to, but she split from my dad when I was 7.
They never told me why but by the time I was 11, I'd worked out she is gay. It scared me so much, I convinced myself I was insane so I wouldn't have to deal with it. And no-one else knew. Then, about 18 months ago, my mum told me and my brother that she's gay. It hurt to hear it out loud, but was a bit of a relief too.
We've never ever spoke about it since, but I know she has a current partner, and she's becoming more... open with her partner in front of me. Which I can't stand. I can't tell her how this gets to me, I just can't bring myself to mention her sexuality, it hurts too much. What can I do, apart from walking out everytime they're together?
The Answer
Why is this so difficult for you deal with?
Please know I'm not trying to make light of your feelings at all, I'm just very curious why you are responding so harshly agaisnt this.
Do you think your mother's sexuality is a sin? Are you afriad of what people might think or say? Are you just confused or uncomfortable with anyone your mother might have in her life? Are doubtful about her feelings towards you?
I honestly think it's very important you discover just what about this makes you so unhappy. Your mother isn't going to stop being a lesbian. She might stop exposing you to the truth so much, if you speak to her about your feelings, but the facts aren't going to change.
Talk to your mother about your fears and how uncomfortable you are. Be honest, with her and with yourself about just what the problem is. If you bottle this up, it will just swell and ruin your relationship with your mother as well as make you miserable.
You might want to think about talking to a counselor as well to help work out your feelings. Once you understand where this pain and fear is coming from, it will be much easier to deal with.
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The Question
so on like myspace i got this riddle and it buggin me cuz i cant find the answer!
I already googled it!!:-p YEP!! sooo
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
SO does anyone know the answer!! i really wanna no the right answer! like i hear it was water! but that doesnt make sice!
so i've you know the answer please explain!!
thanks and i right fives for anyone who will take the time and help!!!
thankssss
The Answer
I worked on this for about a half an hour, I like riddles, but the only things I came up with was: your brain.
Polar bears aren't actually white, they are colourless, they just look white to us.
Tears of reflex or sorrow start in the brain that sends information to your glands.
Vanity is something that only happens inside our minds.
Higher centers in the brain exercise control over this reflex.
Celeberties lines are pretty self explaniatory, it's all a mater of perception.
This is where is gets iffy, making pancakes and champange are both human inventions, bleh.
But clearly you shouldn't try to squeeze or look at your brain.
Honestly though, I think this is a nasty riddle concoted by someone that has no actual asnwer. There are a few clues, first being the fact it isn't very exact with the wording. Most riddles rely on very percise words to make the riddle work, and secondly being the only place where I could find it online there were spelling errors in it, which is weird and very careless for someone who is serious about riddles.
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The Question
When I rate people, I generally give all 5s, maybe a 4 or 2, and a 1 if someone is completely rude or didnt answer the question. Well..Let's say I ask a question and I get 5 answers. One of them is horrible, so it gets a 1 rating. The second is okay but kinda bad, so a 3 or 4. The next 2 answered the question and werent jerks, but the 5th wrote a 5 paragraph answer and included links to websites and personal experiences, etc. Should I rate the the 3rd and 4th people 5's like the 5th person, or should I give them fours because there was a better answer?
NOTE--Im rating all fives on this question no matter what
The Answer
Oh please don't rate all fives! Not even on this question.
Every time someone answers a question that says "I rate all fives!" those columnists ratings are artificially inflated. I have actually seen feedback that reads "I rated you a 5 'cause I said I would but your advice sucked!" Agh! It hurts my head!
A poor columnist can have just as a high a rating (or higher) then an established and intelligent columnist as long as this idea of "I rate all fives" persists. It makes a total joke of the rating system. When you rate only fives you aren't rewarding the people who answered your question, you are punishing yourself, and every other columnist out there who is giving good advice and deserves to have that reflected in their rating.
To use myself as an example: I can't possibly deserve better then a 3 for the advice I am about to give you:
Listen to YoungGrandma. YoungGrandma is brilliant. Rate like YoungGrandma rates.
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The Question
14.f okay this is gonna be kinda long but help would be greatly appreciated
my mom works at a farm, like she plants flowers and such and this summer she wants me to go plant flowers with her so i can earn money. the thing is im lazy and i dont want to go. basically i would have no life over the summer, i mean summer is suppose to be a time to have fun hang out with friends and just have a good time but shes ruining my summer cause i have to effing go to work with her. i cant stand it at all, shes always saying that oh even michelle thats 10 years old goes and helps her mom to plant. ugh i always tell her that i dont care i dont want money then and i try to be nice about it but then she wont accept what i tell her! its gonna be so hot and ill be standing in the sun! and i would have to work from like 12-8pm. i really dont want to go and she gets me so mad for this ..what can i tell her so she understands that i dont want to go? i tel her that im only 14 but she would always bring up michelle being only 10
and please help.. i no this is kinda bad but i really dont want to work.. id rather work in a grocery store but i cant cause im too young
The Answer
How about, rather then refusing to work, you try negotiating with your mother about how much you work. You're right, you're still young and there's no reason to work every day at your age, maybe two or three days a week. That will give you some extra money and you'll still have plenty of time to hang out.
Getting a job is part of growing up, a part that you are probably ready for. Our parent's jobs are to push us forward, make us experience new things and yeah, you gotta learn how to balance work and social life at some point.
Your mom probably wants you to have a bit of a saving you can draw from for special things you want and she is doing you a huge favor by just handing you a job! Job hunting is hard work, I wish my mom had just said "Show up and get paid." All she said was "Your ready now, no more allowance, go find work." and I did.
Just make sure the amount of work is the right amount for you. I promise you you will have so much more fun hanging out with your friends if you have some money to do stuff with.
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The Question
None of my friends are very...um... supportive of me. I came out to them about being bisexual and now they're freaked. My own brother even treats me different. I used to be against gay relationships to...until I couldn't get girlfriends. I experimented with some guy friends of mine (not sex, just kissing) and it got me aroused. I've dated some guys and those relationships have been just as good as (or better) than the relationships I've had with girls. Since all of my friends are straight, I feel like I should be too. I want to marry a girl, not a guy, but why do I want to date guys and kiss guys? I've even though about sex with another guy. What should I do? How can I sort out my feelings?
The Answer
Welcome to the crazy fun world of bi-sexuality.
Until I was fifteen I thought I was a lesbian and you know what, that was a hell of a lot easier then being a bi-sexual.
As a lesbian or even as a straight girl people tend to be more comfortable around you. They have a very tidy little definition that makes sense and it's put them at ease. As a bi-sexual to any degree you are defying normal expectations and that makes people uncomfortable.
When I came out as a bi-sexual, I lost many of my queer friends, who suddenly felt that I was just a poser or a wanna be. I also lost of a lot of straight friends who thought I was just being promiscuous.
Why do you want to date and kiss guys? Probably because you are a bi-sexual and both genders genuinely arouse you. No problem.
I am sorry to say however, that I can't tell you how to sort out your feelings. It sounds to me like you are still rather young so it's really understandable to be confused. I don't think I really started to understand my own sexuality until I was twenty and even now sometimes it boggles the mind. My advice to you is to read, educate yourself, connect with other people in your position, and always think about what it is you want. Give it some time, and you'll recognize the patterns and discover your values.
As for your family and friends, I applaud you on coming out to them. That took a lot of guts. They are bound to be a bit confused as well. You are still learning about your sexuality and finding it a bit confusing, they are probably watching you feeling absolutely mystified. Give them a bit of time to come around, once the shock wears off, you can start to deal with problems as they arise.
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The Question
I am so upset with a psychic reading that I had today. I paid a lot of money- 80 dollars for the reading and it was done over the phone. I only did it because my mother said she's been going to this guy for the last 15 years and that he was very good- and his other testimonials on his website looked promising. Well I asked him if I would end up with the guy that I love- I've been friends with him for a long time. He was really negative and said he did NOT love me- that he thought of me as a fantasy and not reality and he would never commit to me. He told me to cut off contact with him forever- and not to tell him I'm cutting off contact with him or else he'll do anything to be my friend again. I was almost in tears because I feel in my heart that he does love me but is shy. I don't want to cut off all contact with him I think this psychic is nuts. But my mother said how good he is- what should I do? I am so upset!
The Answer
The amazing thing about life it that we all have this thing called choice.
You can choose to believe the physic or not.
If you don't believe him, you have no problems, but if you do, you still have another choice:
You can choose to stay with your boyfriend or to leave him.
Lets take a look at that choices eh?
If you stay with him, he might choose not to commit.
Slowly you'll come to realize that as he keeps saying 'maybe', or 'not yet', comes up with excuses and shows you that his values and desires aren't the same as yours. You'll trust your own senses and learn that sadly, this guy can't give you what you want.
Now even if you believe the physic you must agree there is a slim chance that your boyfriend will wake up, see the light, realize you are his dream come true and do what he takes to keep you.
If you choose to break up with him and cut him out, especially without an explanation your boyfriend will be understandably upset, desperate to understand and will try to speak to you, help you and find out what is wrong. There is no way the two of you will have a solid relationship after that, effectively fulfilling the physic's prophesy.
It's your life to live. You can choose to make the physic's prophecy true, put your trust in him completely and keep shelling out the money to let him tell you how to lead you life OR you can trust your own heart and your measly five senses, make mistakes, get hurt, learn something, and be a little richer.
Even a real physic isn't going to tell you anything you can't realize on your own if you keep your eyes open, and there are certainly scam artists out there who are hell bent on making you dependant on them and getting rich off your misery. (If he told you that you and your boyfriend where going to live happily ever after and have two kids and a collie you wouldn't have any reason to call him back now would ya?)
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The Question
I had a question on here about a week ago. I had been raped and I wanted to be tighter again so I could feel like i was a virgin. Most people suggested I do kegels. I did kegels. The weird part is I think I got myself to tight? is that possible?
Id just like to kno because if sometime I do find the right guy, and maybe anytime soon I dont want it to hurt very badly.
The Answer
Doing kegels for just a few days isn't going to tighten you up very much, like any exercise it takes several weeks to see a real change.
If you are feeling tight you probably just overworked the muscles. Don't push yourself, if the muscles get tired call it quits for a day.
I really feel I ought to add that the vagina is an amazingly elastic part of your body and as terrible as I'm sure your experience was, it probably didn't loosen you too much. For some young women it takes having sex a few times before they even stretch the vagina enough to enjoy it. If you are seeing a counselor you might want to talk to them about this, they might have some ideas besides kegels that will help you feel like you've reclaimed your body.
Good luck darling.
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The Question
HI um...I'm a 13 year old gurl((GOING 14)) and I'm dating a 17 year GUY his the best boyfriend a girl can ever ask for his sweet romantic AND I LOVE HIM SOOOOOOO MUCH well the point is that our anyversary is comming real soon is going to be A YEAR sense we've been dating YAY MY B-day well I want to get somenthing really special and well one of the things that came to my mind was SEX he has never really pushed me into anything but well his a 17 year old dude thats one of their main "goals" and well I don't know wat to do....I NEED HELP plz should I DO THIS??????
The Answer
Firstly: In most states a 14 year old having sex would be considered statuary rape. Most states say you need to be sixteen before you can legally consent to sex. So check and see if your 'gift' is going to land your boy in jail if anyone finds out.
Secondly: Sex shouldn't be a gift. If you feel ready for sex (and I strongly advise you to wait you are still quite young, and he is even asking for it either, maybe he doesn't feel ready?) at least make sure to have sex on equal footing. Don't do it for him, don't 'give' him sex. Be an equal participant.
This isn't something to take lightly and it definitely is something you need to talk about, not spring on him on his birthday. If you are virgin your first time really needs to be relaxing and comfortable, or else you wont enjoy it! Nothing can ruin it like the performance stress, and that is all you'll feel if you make a gift.
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The Question
http://www.focusas.com/Depression.html
That's the site that I found the depression symptoms on! I've had all except the last 3 and the running away one. I'm relly scared and I don't want to tell my mom because she has alot on her plate right now and I don't want her to knoe. My mom has depression too I think and they did say it could run in families. She had it when she was 28 or 30 and now I have it wen I'm 14! I don't want to have it forever and I would relly appreciate any possible help!! Please because I don't want to grow up morbid
The Answer
Agh! I hate those online things. They are not reliable at all! Any old fool can write one and put it online, and many people can suffer from one or two of those symptoms without being depressed or for completely different reasons.
The deal is simple: If you are suffering, ask for help.
Don't worry about labeling yourself and don't try to diagnose yourself, let a doctor do that. Just tell someone you trust what you are feeling and ask for help.
Depression, or really any mood disorder, is same as any physical infection and wont go away if you just leave it alone, it will get worse. And you can't cure by yourself either, you need doctors or some other support to beat it.
I really think you should tell your mother because she is in the best position to understand and help. But if you rather not, tell someone else you trust, a teacher, a friend's parent, an aunt or uncle, any adult who will help you. Never accept unhappiness as the norm, get the help you need to fight it.
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The Question
When you talk about a play in a paper (for school) do you underline the name or do you put it in italics? Thank you!
The Answer
Either is acceptable.
Both underlining and italics are typographical devices that mean the same thing, so just pick one and keep it consistent.
If you are really worried, it's worth it to ask your teacher which they prefer.
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The Question
Alright so I'm in an FCS class and our cooking groups are like, our rows, and i'm in a row with all the special ed students. And I don't know how to cook, so I kinda depend on other people to help me, but I can't depend on them. And I really don't want to go to school tomorrow because I'm way too freaked out because I won't know what to do. But I really want to see this boy, so I DO want to go, and the part of me that wants to go to see the boy that I like is over ruling the part that's worried about FCS.. plus I'm planning on staying home on Wednsday because of gym testing, so, what should I do?
The Answer
Don't skip school to avoid something scary. I've done it and I promise you it never ends well. You just get more worried and farther behind.
As for the FCS class, can you only speak to people in your row? Can't you ask someone in front of you for help too, or better yet, raise your hand and ask for some clarification?
Most teachers don't hate you for asking questions; they actually like it because it means you are thinking about what they've said and are interested in getting it right.
Sounds to me like you just need a bit more confidence to either just do what you think is right without someone telling you it's okay or the confidence to ask your teacher to help you understand.
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The Question
13/F
I'm getting contacts tomorrow, and I'm kind of worried about it. I'll have to take them out every day, and I'm kind of scared I won't be able to put them in correctly, rip them, or hurt my eyes. My mom is finally trusting me with contacts, so I REALLY want to be able to make her believe I'm ready for them. Can anyone please give me steps on how to put them in and take them out?
-mystical_breeze
Ox
The Answer
You should be getting your contacts from an optometrist. You are getting them from an optometrist right? You didn't just order them online or some such right?
If you got them from an optometrist or eye doctor your fitting appointment should include a demonstration of how to put them in and take them out and how to properly care for them.
If you didn't get them from an eye doctor, then make an appointment with one to learn how to take care of your contacts. It's worth the investment to be shown how to do it by a pro.
Nothing will tell you mother you are taking this seriously better then asking to have a professionals advice.
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The Question
Besides Phantom of the Opera, Sweeney Todd, Evita, Rent and Les Miserables, does anyone know any good musicals that are entirely sung through?
The Answer
Hate to break it to you but there is enough spoken dialogue in Rent and in The Phantom of Opera that they aren't really considered completely sung-through. Some people still say they are, but it's arguable.
Evita, Sweeney Todd and Les Miserables are right. Some other sung-through musicals are The Golden Apple, Cats, Miss Siagon (technically opera I suppose), Hair, Jesus Christ Superstar and I think Assassins is as well.
You can also look at pretty much any German, Italian or even English opera written in the classical era and a lot in the modern era, they tend to be completely sung-through.
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The Question
Ok, So I am 13 years old and since May 2005, I have found myself madly in love with no other than a 20 year old McDonalds worker. He has started to open up a little more in the past couple of months, and he gives me lots of hugs, flirts, and shows all the "signs" of love back. Yet he has never told me. This week we are supposed to go to the movies. My question is, Should I open up and tell him I love him or should I just wait until he does?
The Answer
Even if he does care for you, if he tries to have a relationship with you he isn't a very good person.
A good person would know that a crush is fine, but that a twenty year old could cause a lot of damage to you and would inevitably be taking advantage of a you. That is why it's illegal, in every state. In some states he could even, just for kissing or touching a thirteen year old, be put on trial as a pedophile.
If you tell him you love him and your crush has any decency at all he will back off.
If he doesn't have any decency, he will use your feelings try to drag you into an adult relationship you aren't ready for.
When you are an adult, seven years isn't such a big deal, but when you are teen, seven years is huge! Can you imagine dating a six year old? Of course not! What the hell do you have in common with a six year old? If you did try to date a six year old you could seriously mess them up because they just aren't ready for the stuff that you know and can do.
There is no in-between or compromise here. He can't shrink to thirteen and you can't become twenty over night. You live in different worlds and if you try to play in his, you will get very badly hurt.
Go ahead and crush away, but accept your love in happening in a fantasy world that doesn't exist, and you can't make it exist.
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The Question
Sorry if this is 'graphic'. 17/f
On Thursday the 6th I went to the gynecologist for the first time.
Well because I had had sex before (only once) she gave me a pap smear.
The next day I noticed some black thick discharge on my underwear. I thought that maybe she had 'popped my cherry'. That night (Friday) there was nothing on my underwear, but during the day I had a good amount of the black discharge again.
The same thing with today. Nothing in the morning but later in the day I have it. Its kind of like a period but its black and not very much.
So could she have 'popped my cherry' or is there maybe something wrong?
The Answer
Call your gynecologist right now and tell her what you are experiencing. Make an appointment and go back in. Do NOT leave this.
Black vaginal discharge normally means that that there is blood in your vagina, it might just be a small cut you got during the exam, but it can also be a symptom of something more serious. A bit of dark brown or red around your period is fine, but spotting black randomly is not good at all.
(I doubt very much she broke your hymen, if you've had sex before it's probably broken anyways.)
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The Question
my girlfriend told me shes been stressing out too much lately and feels like she could be going through depression. i've noticed a change in her last month. she hasn't mentioned anything to her parents about it. she asked me not to. should i tell them though? i am really worried and don't want things to get any worse for her. thanks.
The Answer
Encourage her to speak to her parents.
If you suspect she is harming herself in any way at all then definitely go straight to her parents but if she is only talking about sadness and stress going to her parents seems rather extreme and is likely to make her angry with you.
If she really doesn't want to speak to her parents encourage her to speak to somebody, a trusted teacher or older sibling or counselor. It's important you understand that you are her boyfriend and while that is terribly important it doesn't mean you can fix this for her, she needs an adult who can help her.
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The Question
Ok so this has gone on so long could someone please tell me how i can remove my pubic hair from down below. I tried shaving and it leaves it all with wiskers its like a mans beard!! I mean the other day i went to the doctors and he had to feel my bladder and it was all like wiskers i was so embarassed if i see him again im going to be so embarassed someone help please! is there any products i can get that won't hurt? someone told me to use nair! but it said not to use it on pubic areas now all i got is wiskers and its embarassing what if i meet a nice boy when im older and he sees wiskers and runs. Help someone please.Im 17/f thank you and i will rate high
The Answer
The simple fact of shaving any part of your body is that you get stubble. That's human, it happens to everyone.
Don't be embarrassed with your doctor. He's seen far worse, doctors see everything! People who never shower, don't take care of themselves and so on and so forth, they don't even think about it.
Do not use Nair on your pubic hair. It's not made for down there, it will burn and itch can get into your vagina and cause trouble.
If stubble really bothers you, you can find kits at the drugstore to wax the hair or pay to have the hair waxed by a professional. But seriously, stubble is a fact of life, if you shave regularly you can keep it down to a minimum and waxing will keep it away longer, but it is going to happen. A 'nice' boy will understand and love you despite the fact that you are human being.
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The Question
ok so next weekend is Easter and everything. My family gets together(my dad's side)and we hunt eggs and everything. This year I envited my friend's family over. By the way they are mexicans no problem right? Well my cousin thinks Mexicans are unsophisticated and immature. Plus the fact that I white and I go over to they're house all the time and their granfather calls me a mexican. to be specific White Mexican. that's gonna make her mad...what can I do?
The Answer
You might want to tell your parents about her attitude so that they know in advance it might be a problem but your cousin should be able to behave herself.
If she says something overtly racist or rude and you shouldn't be afraid to tell her so. She can get mad if she wants, but if she behaves badly towards your guests because of thier race, let an adult member of your family know, they should be responsible for correcting her.
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