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Kegels
I had a question on here about a week ago. I had been raped and I wanted to be tighter again so I could feel like i was a virgin. Most people suggested I do kegels. I did kegels. The weird part is I think I got myself to tight? is that possible?
Id just like to kno because if sometime I do find the right guy, and maybe anytime soon I dont want it to hurt very badly.
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I'm going to have to disagree with most of the posts here, save the one regarding Vaginismus, and making sure that you've fully moved through your rape.
You may truly be blocking some of what's happened, and further sexual activity may trigger some very upsetting and emotional memories for you. These triggers are often very draining and leave you emotionally fragile. Going through counseling or therapy can help you effectively deal with triggers, but it doesn't mean that you're ready to hop back into sexual activities.
You will make your own decisions, but know that it is VERY common for rape survivors to become over-sexed after their trauma, as a way to escape. This is one of the most common ways that survivors use to feel "wanted", and "in control" after their rape. Please know that you are putting yourself directly in the path of more pain and abuse if you choose that way of life for yourself, and please get yourself a support system to truly work through your rape recovery.
That being said...kegels CAN, indeed, be overdone. People have to understand that sometimes those who take on kegels decide that they're going to do a few HUNDRED in the first night, in pursuit of the "tightness" they're craving. Add to it the emotional nature of the kegels, and it can leave her feeling quite a bit of pain.
You've basically overworked your PC muscle, along with the other muscles of your pelvic floor. Take some time off. Do ten a day after that, no more.
Best of luck to you, I truly hope you find your road to coming to terms with what happened to you. It was not your fault, and you are a strong person for talking frankly about it. I hope you find the support you need.
Take care,
Marissa
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It takes time to develop muscles. Doing kegels for a week or so isn't going to make you too tight..
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I'd recommend making sure that have resolved the psychological issues involved with your rape before you have sex.
Vaginismus is a serious condition, which quite often occurs after rape, which can make penetration by anything quite painful or impossible.
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I would suggest that you continue doing your Kegel exercises, but you always explore your own body. Become familiar with what makes you aroused and explore the process of lubrication. This way you can better explain to your future lover that you are somewhat cautious about sex, and they can do what they may to ensure you enjoy the experience. If you are relaxed, aroused and have a well lubricated vagina, it will be much more pleasurable for you when you do find a partner.
If you find you cannot comfortably insert your fingers or a tampon (or if it is impossible to do so) into your vagina, even when you feel aroused, seek an appointment with your doctor. If you have experienced physical assault it is best to rule out any damage. If the problem is psychological, then it's a good idea to get a referral to a therapist and talk through your experiences.
Rape is one of the most traumatic things a woman can undergo. I would REALLY suggest that you have accepted and come to terms with your assault before you attempt to have sex. Any partner worth a dime will completly understand this attitude, and will take it slowly with you.
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Doing kegels for just a few days isn't going to tighten you up very much, like any exercise it takes several weeks to see a real change.
If you are feeling tight you probably just overworked the muscles. Don't push yourself, if the muscles get tired call it quits for a day.
I really feel I ought to add that the vagina is an amazingly elastic part of your body and as terrible as I'm sure your experience was, it probably didn't loosen you too much. For some young women it takes having sex a few times before they even stretch the vagina enough to enjoy it. If you are seeing a counselor you might want to talk to them about this, they might have some ideas besides kegels that will help you feel like you've reclaimed your body.
Good luck darling.
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Sorry...they don't work that well!
Nothing you do is going to make you "to tight". :)
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