My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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well my "friends" Audrey and Emily got involved with a teacher harrasing them and he only said he wants to have sex with me. Well this guy Nelson told everyone about the harasing thing and some a couple of people came up to me and asked me if I got harrased and i said "He just said some things to me but it was mostly Audrey and Emily" but the people are telling my friends that i spread the thing about the teacher and they are saying i said I was the one mostly involved but i didnt say that. so now all my friends think i am a liar and stuff but i didnt lie. and they wont believe me, and they dont want to talk to me..
How can i make them believe me? i basically have no one to hang out with at lunch now because theyre accusing me of something i didnt do. i even told them that if they were my true friends they would believe me and theyre like "We just dont believe you"
please help me... (link)
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The teacher is totally out of line for even suggesting he would like to have sex with you. Regardless of whether or not your friends believe you, your parents should know about the teacher so that they can take appropriate steps to protect you and other girls from this predator.
He needs to be disciplined at the highest level for abusing his position of trust. I suggest that you talk to your parents or another trusted adult. If you cannot face them then please tell the Headmaster/mistress of your school either by letter or directly to them.
I know this is a frightening thought but you must summon up the courage from somewhere before somebody gets hurt.
I agree that if your friends were "true" then they would believe you but unfortunately they do not. The best way forward from here would be to tell them again about the teacher and also tell them you must report what he has said.
I wish you all the best with this problem and hope that it can all be sorted out amicably. I also hope that you will protect yourself at all times. Good luck.
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Hokay so this saturday is mine & my boyfriends one month anniversary. I know he'll get my something, bc well..thats just him lol. But the thing is...What should I get him? I dont wanna get him something stupid or TOO big- bc its only been ONE month.
Any cute/sweet ideas of what I can do or buy!?
Any advice is greatly
apprciated(: (link)
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My daughter makes her boyfriend little anniversary presents like little cushions, cards, pictures or writing a poem. She is a student with little money but I think he really appreciates the effort more than the value of the money. She enjoys making them for him because she has put some of herself into every item. I hope this helps. All the best.
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Me and my husband moved in with another couple until we are called for base housing. (were #40 on this list) We pay this couple 300.00 a month for 1 bedroom. My husband works 16 hours a day and then has to do the up-keep on the yard because they are to lazy to do it. I also have to clean the house wash all the dishes, because again, they won't do it and I can't live in filth. What am I suppose to do? Sometime I feel like I'd rather be homeless! She has a baby and one on the way and talks in babytalk to her husband 24/7. It makes me wanna throwup!! What can I do? It's like when my husband leaves for work, I stay in my room and won't come out till there asleep because I don't wanna hear them fighting or her talking like a damn baby. (link)
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It sounds absolutely horrible for you, but it will end eventually. I know that at the moment it seems like you have no choice but is it possible to move into another house-share? Do you have any family that could help out with short-term accommodation?
Unfortunately I don't think that there is a lot you can do about the baby talk. However, you may be able to re-negotiate your arrangements more in your favour. Could you get a job that will take you out of the house for a couple of hours every day?
When you are in your room perhaps you could use a pair of ear plugs to drown out the rowing or you could use a personal walkman around the house.
Try chasing the housing people a little to check on the progress of your move up the list. I sincerely hope that you are able to work out a better deal for yourself and I wish you well for the future.
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I think I might cervical cancer, I have small lump/ball type thing poking out of the outside lips of my vagina. I did some researching and it said that was a symptom of HPV or other cancers "down there" I really want to get it checked out. However, me and my mom aren't close. I really don't know how to tell her, or how to work up the nerve to. What should I say? (link)
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Young Grandma has given you the best advice. I can only confirm that the best way forward is to talk to your Mum and to go see a doctor. Your Mum will have had her own scares and will understand your nervousness. Your doctor will have seen this sort of thing many, many times so don't worry about embarrassment or confidentiality. Good luck.
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okay, i am completely informed about stuff like sex, i mean, i go to a school where thats all everybody thinks about almost. but, i still dont know what 69 is??!! i probably dont wanna know, but i feel kind of stupid when my 60 year old english teacher even knows what it means!! lol its kinda funny, but somebody please just tell me!! (link)
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I will try and explain simply so as not to gross you out.
If you look at the number 69 then imagine the circle parts are a male and a female head and the tail bits are legs, you can almost guess why it is called that.
To put it a not-so-nice way, it is where the male and female body are head-to-feet with their partner and having oral sex with each other at the same time.
Some people enjoy it and others do not - it is a matter of choice.
Hope this helps.
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I'm a 19 year old female and I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I know it may sound crazy, but I havent told my parents yet. His parents know and they approve of me. But my parents seem to disapprove of him because they think having a boyfriend in college would distract me. I've already proved them wrong because I've gotten straight A's this past semester. My parents met him during thanksgiving, but still disagreed with me having a boyfriend. Theyre also very hard to talk to and are shallow saying that he's too short when he's taller than me by 2 inches. I respect my parents, but after a year of lieing to them about our relationship makes me feel guilty.
What do you think is the most proper way for me to tell them? Write a letter? Have my boyfriend's parents talk to them? Or... straight up tell them in person and hope for no lecture?? (link)
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You are now an adult and as such should be able to lead your own life.
It will not be easy admitting to your parents that you have been together for almost a year, but you have proven that it is possible to go to college and have a boyfriend at the same time.
Be straightforward with them and tell them you are dating and ask them to accept your decision.
Most parents think their childrens' partners are not good enough for them and if all they have to quibble about is a couple of inches, don't worry too much about them being shallow.
Be honest, open and talk to them - good luck.
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im soo in love (:
can this be a bad thing? =/ (link)
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How can love be bad? It is a great thing.
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Is masturbation wrong? (link)
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In my own opinion no, but only if it is not detrimental to an on-going relationship.
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My mom, acts like she was a perfect teenager. She always says how she was skinnier then me, or how she was prettier then me. & how she was just ever so popular. Now don't get me wrong, i know i'm up in that crowd, & im pretty & i only weigh like 90 pounds, & im 14. soo.. this isnt where im going with this. what my problem is, is its kinda hurting my feelings. cuz like, i dont like hearing that. like, idno. im just not. & i dno..has anyones parents ever done that to them? like saying there not responsible, like they were when theywere younger &stuff? what did u do about it? or what should i do about it?
kthnxxss. (link)
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I think that we all look back on our teenage years with rose coloured glasses. Nobody is perfect and we have all made mistakes that we wish we hadn't.
Perhaps your Mum is trying too hard to recapture her youth through yours. She may just be reminicising and doesn't realise that you are getting hurt feelings in the process.
Have you actually told her how you feel? Is she perhaps a little jealous of you and that maybe she considers you are more prettier and more popular than she was and doesn't quite like it?
Mothers are complex creatures, especially when it comes to our daughters. I have no wish to comment on my own mothers actions during my youth, but I love her very much now. I only hope that when my own daughters are adults they will look back and tell me they had a happy upbringing.
Talk to your mum, or if you can't, write her a letter or a poem for her to find. I wish you all the best and hope that I have helped a little.
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Ok, so my ex friend hates me because she thinks i was talking bad about her. i feel pretty bad because i kind of was by telling my guy friend about her, he rephrased what i said to her, so my ex friend thinks what i said was all too wrong. All I said to him was that she dumped me for her new best friend and her ex boyfriend used her, and that's what she told me word-by-word. in a way i feel like it was wrong to say anything (guilty on that one), but my guy friend rephrased it saying her ex used her sexually or whatever and she dumped me and started hating me when her new friend came along. i didn't say any of that...
I feel horrible for saying anything but what she heard was a lie. yet before we argued over this she wasn't treating me like a friend at all. she would always hang out with her new friend and it'd make me mad. i don't mind her making new friends but what she did was inconsiderate. so my question is, what should i do? forget about her and make new friends? or try to talk to her again? thanks in advance (link)
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From what you have written I think that your friendship had run its course. You cannot go on trying to be friends with someone who treats you badly or finds other reasons not to hang out together.
Don't feel bad that this friendship has now finished, but I suggest that you learn from your mistakes regarding other peoples lives and how gossip can be turned around which may cause pain.
When stories are told over and over again, like chinese whispers, the story will change constantly. If you feel that you want to clear the air then I suggest you write her a note explaining the truth. You don't need to ask for forgiveness and accept that she might not even bother to acknowledge the letter.
I also feel that you are being unduly critical of yourself. We all make mistakes and we all have the capacity to learn from those mistakes.
You will, in time, make new friends and your experiences will help to make you a better, more understanding friend. I wish you well for the future and all I ask is that you believe in yourself. All the best.
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How old were you when you got your first kiss? (link)
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I think I was about 12 when I had my first kiss.
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i am 15 female.
one of my bestfriends just lost her virginity to her boyfriend and she'll be 15 in a couple of days. i know the guy she lost it to and he's very sweet at times. she told me that his penis was big and fat. wow.lol. she told me it hurt like hell and im really curious about if it should even hurt because i heard only when you're nervous it hurts but she claims she wasn't nervous and wanted to loose her virginity to him right away. why, i have no clue? Could anyone please tell me stories about thier first time and every feeling you had.
to be honest i kind of feel pressured to have sex because everyone around me has either lost it at 12,13,14, and 15. But i know who i am and i know that loosing my virginity won't make me a betta person than i am now..but still im curious about sex...please tell me everything i should know!! thanx in advance (link)
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You should be proud to still be a virgin at 15. Why? because you have something so wonderful and that is your virginity.
You can lose your virginity and your self-respect so easily, but once it has gone you can't get it back. There is nothing "cool" about giving yourself to a guy that probably only wants another notch on his bedpost.
How do you know when you are ready for sex? I always tell people that if they have to question whether it is right - then it is most definitely wrong for them at that time, or with the wrong person.
Sexual intercourse is the most wonderful feeling when you are in the right guys arms. You need to feel wanted and cherished and to know that he is the person that you want to be with. I know it sounds so old-fashioned but in this day and age when you never know what has gone on in a guy's past, who he has been with and what diseases he may have been in contact with.
My own experience is losing my virginity to my wonderful husband. I never wanted to be with any of my other boyfriends in that way. It didn't hurt because I was relaxed and in love, I also knew he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We have now been married for 24 years. I don't feel like I have missed out on sleeping around and I never had to worry about any STDs because he was a virgin too.
I hope that I have been able to ease your mind a little. I wish you well whatever you decide.
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omgg everyone is telling me that its soo bad to shave ''down there'' i dont know what to do.. helpp me and tell me what i can doo! (link)
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It is your own personal choice as to whether you want to shave "down there" or not. Some girls like the protection that it gives and others like the clean, hairless feel.
To start off with I suggest that you perhaps tidy up a few stragglers and give yourself a bikini wax. (Taking off the sides and top a little). Shaving will probably make you sort at first so try a test patch to begin with (whether you are shaving or waxing it is a good idea).
If you do decide to go all the way and have a clean shave, just picture yourself in a bikini with no hair at all - the outline is like a young girls - before you go ahead.
I hope my answer helps you to come to a decision, but give it a lot of thought first. All the best.
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This girl wants to know about my...man thing...which isn't exactly big. I am wondering if I should let her see it since she knows my cousin and girls talk (link)
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I would give the same answer to you as I would to a girl who had asked a similar question.
You are obviously uncomfortable with showing your penis to this girl and therefore I would say don't do it. I guess you are still quite young and you sound very insecure about yourself because of your age.
Size is not everything and when a penis is flaccid it is not big at all. She is obviously curious about the male body but she has no right to ask you to bare yours. Girls do talk amongst themselves in the same way guys do, but always remember that what is hot gossip one minute is yesterdays cold news.
Tell her that you have no intentions of showing yourself to her and you have absolutely no reason to care what she or her friends think. I hope that my answer helps you decide. Good luck.
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i work with this guy and He came back today. he was on vacation all summer in florida. I have had a thing for him since i started working there in august. He is 8 years older then me & he has a girlfriend But when we work together he flirts i guess you can call it. Like if im standing down one of the isles he'll throw something at me to get my attention just to laugh at me. We have a squirt bottle of water & he'll go up behind me and squirt me with it. He'll grab my side. Or if there are no customers in the store he lifts his shirt up & says noone you know can compete with this.or something like that lol.
Its just a bunch of random things he does. And that all happened tonight.
Is this flirting? Is he leading me on? Im not going to tell him to stop doing this stuff because i love the attention. I just dont want to fall for him.
(link)
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I guess you could call it flirting or even teasing. He may just be a friendly kind of chap that enjoys winding people up. If you don't have a problem with it and can put up with his jokes etc., then there is no reason not to treat as a friendly colleague.
However, should he seriously start flirting/touching or teasing you to the point of embarrassment, then I suggest telling him forcefully that his actions are no longer welcome and to back off or you may have to report him.
As long as you can give as good as you get and his girlfriend is aware of his character, then have a little fun at work. Make sure that it is not detrimental to your job or you could find yourself out of work.
All the best.
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soorrry to bother you but
how do i make everyone answer to my advie column i want to be famous with it (link)
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If you make sure that your answers are genuine, factual and from the heart then you can begin to set yourself up as a good Advicenator.
It will take time to build up a good reputation but I wish you all the best for the future you wish for yourself.
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what is the best way and nicest way to break up wit ur boyfriend.i dont want any answers like there is no nice way i know that but i dont want him to hate me.he is way to clingy and i cant handle him geting mad when i just talk to another guy and im not flirting with him or anything just talking.he is raceist and i just cant take it anymore.i dont want him to hate me though.
thanxxx (link)
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Personally I would just say that you feel the relationship has run it's course and you would like to end it whilst you are still friendly.
It is never easy to finish with someone because you don't know how they will react. If you tell him to his face you will be able to see his reaction and deal with it accordingly. If he gets sad tell him you understand but that it is over. If he gets mad, walk away and if he gets abusive - run! Seriously though, it will be difficult to maintain a friendship that was once a romance - it can be done, but not often.
Good luck.
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ok so like what do yall consider virgin? does that include even if youve been/done fingerin & like oral stuff ? (link)
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In my personal opinion, a virgin is someone who has not had full sexual intercourse. I think fingering and oral are foreplay to the actual act of intercourse.
Hope that helps.
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Im 14/f in California. My 15 year old guy friend that lives in Minesota went to his girlfriends cabin for a few days. When he got back this is what he told me over AIM.
me: your back!!!!! yay
me: sup?
him: my gf broke up with me so im really sad
me: awww im sorry
him: it was my fault
me: why? wut did ya do?
him: she invited me up there and it was her dad's bday so i got mad that she said she wanted me to come up and she didnt spend ne time with me and the times that we could i was an ass to her so i messed up big time
him: cause she was the one for me but i guess not for her
me: awwww im sorry
him: i guess im still f&^ked in the head from last night
me: aww
me: are yall just friends now or just gunna like... not even c eachother?
him: we got drunk and had some fun in her bed
him: all her friends thought that we were perfect together and i did too
me: well, im sure youll find someone else thats perfect for you... there are alot more fish in the sea
him: like you
him: i could ran away and come there cuz now there is no one holdin me back lovin me
him: yea so should i
me: no, my parents would get mad, and i just cant do that... my parents would get so pissed
him: and they wouldnt know
me: no, your parents would get mad too
him: they wouldnt know
me: we couldnt do that..
him: why not
me: i just cant do that, i got my life all set up, and i cant have any surprises.. if my parents found out (and they totally would) i have no idea what they would do
him: oh nvm mind i guess every one hates me its ok i get it
me: no, i dont hate u, i just cant do that with my life
him: im gunna go play with a knife now so i will talk to you tom hopfully and i will ttyl lyl
me: dont play with knifes, stop
him: im not gunna hurt my self
him: to bad
me: so wut you gunna do w/ em?
him: cut things
me: oh.. ok
me: not skin rigt?
him: like my arm
me: dont do that, stop it
him: it hurts
me: i kno it hurts, stop it, there are somethings in life you just have to deal with
him: yea the pain
me: stop saying that stuff because i rele dont want to block u, but your scarring me
him: im sry but it is the only way that i get my mind off of it so ill stop
him: there i stopped i promise
me: thank you
him: welcome can i do it when i leave
me: i dont think you should, but its up to u
him: ok ill stop for today i promise
me: thankx
him: no prob well it midnight here so im gunna go to bed so ill talk to you tomorrow ok ttyl lyl bye bye
me: k, bye
me: ttyl
I need to know what to do. I know a lot of you will say report him, but I cant do that to a him... hes never been like this in his life, but I dont know what happened. How do I deal with this. Is there another way to tell him to not move out here for me? I rate. (link)
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I think that he was just generally feeling sorry for himself and talking off the top of his head. He probably wasn't playing with a knife (of course I can't know that for certain), but he was just trying to get a sympathetic reaction out of you.
I also imagine he was not serious about moving to be near you. Again, I imagine he was just talking for the sake of it.
You cannot be responsible for his actions and it was very wrong of him to dump that kind of thing on you if he was cutting.
When you next chat to him, just chat generally about things to keep his mind off his ex. However, if he persists in making you feel bad by talking about cutting and moving, I suggest that you terminate the connection. If you are seriously worried about him then you have a duty as a friend to tell his parents (if you know their phone number), or asking your parents for advice.
It will be very difficult for you to deal with because you are not there in the room with him and are unable to see exactly what is going on with him.
I wish you the best of luck and hope he gets his head sorted out.
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I was at work yesterday at the college I go to and there was a high school recruitment thing going on. This girl and her friend asked me a question about the Ticketmaster we had and I gave them the number for it. When I found out they wanted tickets to a country concert, one of the girls said she hated country. When she said she like Pink Floyd and stuff, I jokingly said "Haha what's your number? J/K" Well a few minutes later, her friend gave it to me. This girl isn't that attractive and goes to a high school far away from the college I go to. I didn't know that at the time and asked her out for coffee. When I confronted her about the high school thing, she got all sad and shit and said you prolly won't talk to me again. I'm not that mean and I said we should still go for coffee. She will not stop text messaging me. I don't know how to politely tell her I don't want to do this anymore and to get her to leave me alone. I don't want to hurt feelings but this has to stop. Any little interest I may have had in getting to know this girl has quickly evaporated. How do I tell her to buzz off? (link)
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I think you have to be blunt and honest with her. Tell her that there is too much distance between you to ever let a relationship work. Tell her you enjoyed having coffee with her but you have no intention of getting involved with her now or ever.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and I feel in this situation that is what it will have to be. I know you don't want to hurt her feelings but in the long run if she continues to text you, you will have to be forceful.
I hope that my suggestion helps you out and if I can help any more please let me know. Good luck.
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