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humorist-workshop
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My mom, acts like she was a perfect teenager. She always says how she was skinnier then me, or how she was prettier then me. & how she was just ever so popular. Now don't get me wrong, i know i'm up in that crowd, & im pretty & i only weigh like 90 pounds, & im 14. soo.. this isnt where im going with this. what my problem is, is its kinda hurting my feelings. cuz like, i dont like hearing that. like, idno. im just not. & i dno..has anyones parents ever done that to them? like saying there not responsible, like they were when theywere younger &stuff? what did u do about it? or what should i do about it?
kthnxxss.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Gosh yes. Alot of parents say that to their kids. Your mom wants you to have the same life she lived. She wants you to be perfect. She wants you to be something noone is. Noone in this entire world is perfect. You should explaain to her that you dont want that perfect life && that you want to be you! tell her that you hate when she tells you that your not responsible enough & you don't have that perfect body.
The most you can do is either sit down & talk to your mother or you can write her a letter explaining wht you feel about this.
Hope this helps
kim:)
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The best thing you could do is let your mom know it's hurting you. If your mom thinks it's working as motivatoin, she will keep on doing it.
a lot of parents do that to get their kid up and at 'em, so get them "up to parr"
The other thing I could suggest is rebeling against your mothers word.
but that usually doesn't get you that far.
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My mom is the worst at things like that. Only, it's because she expects me to be perfect. I'll tell you what I did...
I'm always hearing (well, not anymore but until a few months ago) *I was your size when I was in my 20's!* That was her big thing among others. I'm a size one in pants and she used to say that to me whenever she though I was gaining weight. And she didn't say it when we were alone either. When I'm with friends, and family as well. Once I was jean shopping with her and we were in Hollister (and you know how that store has co-ed fitting rooms?) I tried on a size one jeans and they were kind of tight so I asked her to get me a size three. She basically freaked out and said something like *You don't need a three! That's already a one! When we get home you need to stop eating so much late at night!!* THE WHOLE FITTING ROOM HEARD HER! I was mortified; I didn't even want to come out.
So that was it for me. When we got out of the store, I asked her, *What do you expect me to say or do when you tell me that I you were my size in your 20's and that I need to lose weight?* She looked at me and said *Hunny I never said you need to loose weight. I just want you to watch it* So I told her everything that I was feeling about it. How it makes me feel that she doesn't think I'm good enough, or thin enough. And how I can't be as *perfect* as she thinks she was. And when she says that stuff, it doesn't make me feel good about myself.
She apologized and said that she didn't even think that the things she says hurt me. She hasn't compared herself to me once since then.
Sometimes moms just have this expectation for their daughters and they want us to be more and be better than they were at our age. They want us to be the girl that they thought they never were. And when they let us know that, whether it be telling us that we've gained weight or telling us about them in high school, they don't know that it makes us feel bad.
Your mom doesn't mean to hurt your feelings but she won't stop until you say something to her about it because she has no idea that she is hurting you.
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I think that we all look back on our teenage years with rose coloured glasses. Nobody is perfect and we have all made mistakes that we wish we hadn't.
Perhaps your Mum is trying too hard to recapture her youth through yours. She may just be reminicising and doesn't realise that you are getting hurt feelings in the process.
Have you actually told her how you feel? Is she perhaps a little jealous of you and that maybe she considers you are more prettier and more popular than she was and doesn't quite like it?
Mothers are complex creatures, especially when it comes to our daughters. I have no wish to comment on my own mothers actions during my youth, but I love her very much now. I only hope that when my own daughters are adults they will look back and tell me they had a happy upbringing.
Talk to your mum, or if you can't, write her a letter or a poem for her to find. I wish you all the best and hope that I have helped a little.
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