Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: 18/f my friend Deliah is 17 and I think she is goin to get hurt. She met this guy when we were at this water park. We were staying there over night and he was the concierge. She talked to him and at first we were all just kidding around, next
thing I know she asks for his number. He's 21 and is really weird. He's rude and I don't trust him. I just don't get a good vibe. Also, he told her how his last girlfriend was a stripper. The one before that cheated on him three times. Then, he says he's in college but not going right now at all, because he is waiting for one specific class. She called him one day at like 2 and he was like why'd you call you woke me up. And she was like why aren't you up yet. And he's like because I always wake up at 3. He sounds like such a bum. Also, he lives an hour and a half away. He wants her to come down all the time. Deliah hasn't told her parents about him. Deliah is a realy really good girl, she's actually pretty prude, which gets annoying sometimes, but she's also a huge push over. I'm really worried about her safety. I knowthis is far fetched maybe, but what if he tries to rape her or something. I mean honestly, what does a 21 year old guy want to do with a 17 year old girl? She just turned 17 over a week ago too. He turns 22 soon. I like older guys too. But not that old, and I'm also 18. At least i'm considered an adult. I know I can't force her to do or not do anything, but what should I say? How should I say it? My other best fried who is very close to deliah also wants to say something

I think you should talk to her about it. Dont mention age. I mean im 19 and im married to a 24 year old. Age is just a number. But it does sound like he is the wrong type of guy for her. Explain to her that he sort of sounds like a bum and you are worried about her safty and that you are trying to be a good friend because you care about her. let her know there are a ton of guys out there that wouldnt treat her like that and wouldn't sleep in until 3 in the afternoon. and i doubt hed ever bring her flowers. i know i love flowers.

Q: So, you know how people have jobs where they make a screen name and go into a chatroom waiting for rapists to IM them so they can catch them?

Like the person says they're thirteen or something to catch child molesters and lure them to an area nearby to arrest them?
Like that Dateline thing.

I'm really interested in doing that.
Can anyone tell me how I can get into doing that?

Its a detective.

Q: If he doesn't tell me that she's taking him to work, is that lying?

not unles you asked him about it and he denied it.

Q: can you get a hangover immediately after you're drunk? does it always happen the "day" before? because i've felt like crap after drinking and then i keep puking. it so so horrible, the headache. but the next day i'm fine.

you are just not being able to handle the acochol your drinking to much. i know alot of people who drink and puke its gross. eat before or while you drink.

Q: I was alone in a restaurant recently where I am a regular customer. A waitress, with whom I have never spoken before, came up to me and asked me if I wanted her to introduce me to some girls (!). I was thoroughly taken aback, as no one has ever walked up to me and asked me anything like that.

I had no idea how to interpret that (if she was flirting with me, why would she talk about other girls? If she wasn't, what brought that up out of nowhere?), and I responded with confusion and suspicion rather than poise, asking her what that was all about. She said it was merely "making conversation", and she said she wouldn't bother me further; this ended the interaction.

How would I have more properly handled this? What does it mean when someone approaches like that?

Thanks to all for your help.

i imagine she has noticed you at the resturant often alone? I would take it as she wants to be your friend. Maybe she thought you were lonely. I would take it as a compliment and ask her if she would like to go out sometime as friends.

Q: okay so im quite close with this girl, she's always got her defences up but she really opens up to me and vice versa, well i told here theres this guy i really hate (he threatened to beat me up/kill me etc) however the main reason i hate him is because he hurt my other best friend. recently the girl im close with has been hanging around him more (its not that she sets out to spend time with him, its just that whenever she's out he is too), I've sort of hinted that it makes me uncomfortable, but I have not blatantly said it. anyway she takes pictures with him and puts them up as her fb profile picture. I'm not sure weather im being childish and petty in that the fact she spends time with someone that dislikes me that much (and vice versa) i think that she may be doing it to annoy me but im not sure..

You might talk to her about it. Ifs shes your bestfriend shell understand but she might not want to quit being friends with him but to talk to you and talk to him and maybe get the two of you talking together.

Q:
I left a realationship that was hard on me for a new one. i do nonthing but fight with my new bf & find myself wanting to run back to old one. i feel so confused . i wonder if maybe just being single is better?

You sound as if being single is the best until you know for sure what you want. It also sounds like you know you are better off being single.

Q: Iv been having a problem with my wife there is no sex at all for a year straight and its driving me further and further away from her .I do love her but she won't provide me my needs as a husband .iv talked to her about it over and over again and shw tells me the same thing .it hurt me ! To have sex and to me I don't belive what she tells me so iv been talking to this other woman who knows my situation and wants me to have sex with her but I haven't done nothing with her yet because I feel guilty just talking to her .I know its not right and I surely not a player but what do I do sex and romance is everything to me I can't go on like this but I'm so confused what am I doing! I must be crazzy to even think about seeing another woman but no sex makes me fell rejected

First off you need to quit talking to that other woman because if i found out my husband was talking to another woman who wanting to have sex with him. I would be telling him its over. Go see a marriage counsler. She may be depressed. and if shes on some medications can make people not as sexual active. and explain to your wife you can try other things to make it more confortable or not go so deep. things like that. give her a massage before sex. make her enjoy and make her want it. set the mood i know its been a year my husband would be going nuts as well. but talking to another woman while being married and togther is not the way to go its stupid.

Q: I am taking care of my 86yo. father and he smokes a pack a day of cigarettes. I hate the smell and I don't want them around my 12 yo. daughter (his grandaughter), but he suffers from dimensia and he forgets to not light up in the house and I am afraid of a possible fire risk. He can't drive anymore and I have contemplated just not buying him anymore smokes. But I feel it would be torture for him yet ultimately good for all of us. Should I force him to stop smoking even though he has enjoyed this privaldge all of his life?

Ok so I am in the same situation as you just every one is younger. I think im allergic to the cigg. smoke it makes me sick and a headache. but anyways. call a doctor. it cost a little bit of m oney but there is this new pill out that can get you to wuit smoking and i think it would really help you father. I am trying to convince my father. you smoke only the first week of taking it and with in the first week people quit smoking the ciggs. have no taste or do anything for them. i think it would be worth a shot.

Q: 17/f

What are the use of lottery tickets anyway? Do you just depend on luck and just guess numbers? Gosh, I hate it. I hate seeing my dad trying to win money. I hate seeing him stay up at night trying to fill out lottery tickets. It's just too sad for me to see. I just want to cry whenever I see that. I know that we're not a very rich family. My family is sick. And I don't mean sick by "cool". But sick as my family members are not healthy. My dad and my sister with their skin. My mom and her internal problems, knowing that she might have cancer and that me and my sister might have inherited it too. Hopefully not. It sucks. I hate sitting here having to watch all of this happen. I'm not blaming myself for these things. These things just happen. But out of all people why choose us? Not that another family would be better, but nobody wants to see their own family members go through struggles. I just wish I can do something about it to help them. I work a lot. But they cut my hours down since the sales aren't doing very well. I'm trying hard on school, I'm spending more time with school work. Giving my parents 100 - 200 dollars on Christmas and New years isn't going to help is it? What can I even do to make myself feel better and not think about it? I can't. I try being more respectful and nicer.

I say goodnight, good morning, I try not to give them a hard time. I try helping out. The simple things that won't get them angry. I just don't want them to disappear one day, depressed and stressed out. I want them to leave peacefully knowing that everything is fine. They are the greatest parents in the world. Without any struggles. I hope they will see me grow up and get married, so I can put both into retirement.

At the same time, I'm trying not to stress out too much because stress is usually the main source that leads to illness. I know that I'm going to continue to pray that everything will be okay, and that these are just obstacles. I hope that God received those prayers and is actually listening.

I know how you feel sweet heart and what you are doing now is amazing. There isnt much you can do other than being there for your family. Hugs and I love yous help a lot. I will defintly pray for you and your family. Don't put your self down hun you are doing an amazing job now.

Q: i am 16 years old girl and my nan died 3 years ago and my mum has not been the same since!
We used to be quite close, but now i cant even stand to be in the same room as her. We argue over stupid things all the time for example she would say 'i want you to tidy your bedroom' if i say ' no iv already done it this week' she would start to have ago at me saying your house is going to be a shit hole if you can even afford one' then i retaliate telling her to 'shut up' then she will start calling me names like whore and looser, and it turns into a massive argument, and it really upsets me for my mum to be calling me names like that i know that i should try not to say anything back but it soo hard not too, even when i dont she still calls me names she even calls me them in front of my boyfriend.

my mum did go and see a doctor about it when my nan first died but she only went to see them twice and then said shes find and over it, which shes obviously not as she cries over someone not turning a bloody light off.

i have talk to my dad about mum how my mum makes me feel and that i think that she has depression and he does think there is something up with her but says 'ohhh shes okay she just has off days' and has words with her saying not to call me names but it doesn't seem to help. I cant even remember the last time i heard her laugh.

i have but up with her being mardy and calling me names and taking things out on me for 3 years now i just want to get it sorted. my dad and mum argue as-well over the way my mum speaks to my dad. ' but just says when i ask him about it ' ohh shes just having an off day today, just ignore her and let her get on with it'.

i really dont know what to do anymore,
i feel so depressed at times.

Any help of what i could do would be much appreciated thanks (:

Okay so you know your mother has depression which is the first step for you. If she asks you to do something I would just do it. It makes it easier on her. She needs to relize she needs help before seeing a doctor. You should sit down and talk with her explain to her that you want to have a serious conversation with her. If she agrees tell her mom I love you and I want to talk to you with out you getting upset with me. tell her i know everything is tough for you right know and maybe talking to someone about it would really help even a friend a theripist or even me ( yourself) Say I am willing to sit down with you and listen to you mom if it would help you. Give her a hug after you are done talking and tell her you love her. I simple hug and an I love you can really help. I have depression and post dramtic stress. Sometimes i wish my husband would just stop what he is doing and hug me like he means it.

Q: what relationship is my stepson kids to me

step grand kids but in my family every one is family if i was in your situation theyd be my grand babies you cant ever have enough grandmas

Q: 17/F

my friend and i have been friends sence we were in the third or 4th grade, maybe even younger. wll about a month ago he broke up with his gf and 3 weeks ago i broke up with my bf. we grew up in the same church but lately i haven't been going on sundays. so sunday before last he called me and fussed at me for not being there in a month. we stayed on the phone all day long catching up on the things we've missed. (FYI: i've like had a crush on him fo like forever) well he told me about this football party his family has every time alabama (roll tide) plays and invited me and when this past saturday came i went. some how we kind of like wondered away from every1 else and we started talking, next thing i know we were having sex. well this past sunday we both felt weird at church, HE EVEN TOLD ME IT WAS WEIRD SITTING NEXT TO ME, but i felt the same way to. see after we had sex i guess we were going together, because he said so. (which i'm ok with :) ) problem is we talk daily but i don't feel like we're in a relationship, and i don't wanna tell him that because it may ruin our relationship and our friendship (which i realy like). is it me? is it him? i don't know whats wrong with me? i've liked him for like 4ever and i still do but i feel so weird on the inside when i see him. what do i do????

I am sure its because you have been friends for so long. You feel that your still just friends. hang out a little more go on a few dates things may change you two both have to be comfortable in a relationship setting. go slow on the sex. thats something special.

Q: My eight year old daughter and her friend (girl, same age)will often times play at my house directly after school. Frequently both kids will use our bathroom(s) soon after arriving to do a poo, since often times they hold it in during school. The problem is that neither girl flushes afterward. After talking to my daughter, they have a contest as to who does the biggest poo, who has been holding it the longest, who has to go the worst,etc. I am hoping this is just a phase that they are going through. I don't appreciate it when I go into the bathroom, lift up the lid, and see an unflushed BM and knowing it came from my daughter or her friend (although I am a little surprised at the size of the stools sometimes, and I guess I can see why they would be interested in comparing). Any suggestions? Is this just a phase?

I would talk to your daughters friends parents. Both of you sit down and talk to them. Its not healthy and can cause a lot of problems inside their bodies. as am infection can happen when you hold in number 1. Ask them to find something else to compare. Or a different thing they can do.

Q: lately my mother has been yelling at me to finish this speech i'm writing. every tome i tell her i'm stuck she just says i'm lying and then walks away, is it okay to feel that she is being way to mean to me?

Your mother want's you to do well in school and like most parents she feels you are have more potenial then what you are leading on. Ask your mother for help with your speech.

Q: Hello i've been on birth control for about 2 years and i've been off of it for about 2 weeks now. I'm just curious if there are any side effects of getting off the pill. How will it affect my period now that i'm not on it anymore? Also how quickly can i become pregnant? Thanks for all the advice everyone!

Not to put your hopes down but it could take a long time to get pregnant it really depends on your body. I had a friend who get off birth control and got pregnant with in weeks. your period i dont think should be affected. the pill helps regulate your period. I am on depo and i dont have a period at all. there are many side effects and you experience none to a few.

Q: I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

Crying is the worst thing to do. My husband does it. you catch them in the lie and they deny it it until they are black and blue in the face. Now your lucky by not being married. What I did was confront him. some things he still doesnt want to admit it. I told him this, " from day one of knowing me you know i hate liers and i dont put up with people that lie to me. So why would you lie. He said he lies because he wants to make him self look good so i wont stop loving him. I explained if the lieing didn't stop that I was going to be done putting effort in our marriage if he was going to give the effort back. i hope i helpped.

Q: I am so upset right now! I am tired of feeling like I am never good enough for him. I never do anything right and he always has to tell me. It hurts so bad, why can't fathers just love their children, and not have to make them feel like no matter how hard they try I fail.

I understand where you are coming from. I am sure though he wants you to suceed the best you can. Tell your father how you feel. That you would like him to support you more and you will do your best to make him happy

Q: so. yesterday my boyfriend (of 1 1/2 years) grandfather died yesterday in his sleep. he never woke up.

so he asked me to come along to the wakes this weekend. (yes, i have met his grandfather multiple times, he was a wonderful man!) of course ill go if he wants me to, but its not in my best interest to...you know?

well, any suggestions with what i should say to his family members that i have not met yet? this is a very sad time for his family. i feel like they wouldnt want me there, i dont know. ryan asked me to come. im going to have him ask his father first. i don't want his family to be angry that im there...like invading their privacy.

and, i heard the first wake of the day is for family and the second wake of the day is more for friends...

i just need help! i haven't been to a wake in forever.

you dont have to say much at all. when my husband and i started dating his aunts husband died and i went to the funeral together at the time we were living togther i had never even meet the man. at the wake i sat with my husband and held his hand throw it. at the cemetary i stood in the back so that i wasnt in the way. i even started to cry hearing everyone else cry. it was sad. i gave his aunt a hug and asked her how she was doing and to let me know if she needed anything

Q: My husband and I have been married for a little over 2yrs. He is 36 and I am 28. He is Israeli and I am originally from Canada though I now live in Israel and we speak mostly Hebrew. I mention this b/c it could be a contributing factor to our communication problems and difficulty connecting on deeper levels. My Hebrew is good but it doesn't compare to mother tongue.
We have a 1.5 year old daughter who we both love very much and neither one of us wants to get a divorce. We are both good people with good intentions but we are constantly getting into fights and arguments on a daily basis sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Its like we really don't along. One of the main causes of conflict is that I am super sensitive to critism. I suppose I have some healing work to do because inside I sometimes feel like I'm not ok. I need a lot of love and acceptance from my partner. He is very critical and he admits this. When he comes home and says even the smallest critism I get defensive and upset. I can't hear any criticism. For example, today I made a special lunch for us. He came home and asked me if I had made the avocado salad and I said no b/c I wasn't sure if they were ripe enough. He said, oh I thought you were going to make it. I could feel the disappointment in his voice and quickly felt the stab of criticism- that I wasn't good enough b/c I didn't make him what he wanted. I know I have my issue but it seems he always aggrivating it with his comments- like the food being ready on time, enough salt, hot enough, chicken undercooked for his taste (not really undercooked). Every time I feel defensive and that I'm trying to please him and its never good enough. I always feel a bit nervous about what he will say about the food, and then when he criticizes (and there is always some kind of comment) I defend. My ex-boyfriend used to always praise everything I did- I wish my husband was like that. We don't go to regular counselling but we have a Rabbi who gives us advice. He told me to just try to ignore my husbands comments and not take them personally b/c its his own vomit. It sounds good in theory but in practice I'm on the defensive like a war zone.
Examples of other issues: today when he came home he said he was really hungry and wanted to eat right away. I started getting the salads into serving bowls (they were already ready)and put them out one by one. He wanted to be respectful and said he wouldn't start eating until I sat down at the table. I told him that wasn't necessary and to please start eating and I would join soon. He refused. I said please, please start eating its less stressful for me if I know that you have started to eat. He refused. I started to feel very stressed about the situation and begged him to please start eating that it would make me feel better. He could see I was getting stressed but he wouldn't eat. Then he kept saying 'watch how you're talking in front of the baby, don't talk like that and took her to the other room. I told him I would relax if he would just please sit down and start eating, feeling a lot of pressure to be a 'good wife' etc. He wouldn't. Finally I sat down at the table though was very upset by this point and could hardly eat. Perhaps I was being a bit stubborn and need to change this. on the other hand so was he. I really felt stressed and wanted him to start eating. This all led to a lot of very unpleasant feelings, unhappiness, anger and frustration. This is just one example. We are always getting into conflict- trying not to, and then it happens anyways. I don't know what to do- this is no way to live or to raise a child. Can this marriage be saved? Our marriage has been like this since day 1. Any feedback is appreciated- thank you.

your relztionship can be saved but you need counsling and he needs to do his part in being a good husband for you to be a good wife. my husband and i argue you once in a while but i think you have post partumum depression have you been like this since you have had your daughter so emotional.. i had it only for a couple weeks after i had my daughter i would just start crying for no reason.. look into it.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.