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I cant stand my mum!
i am 16 years old girl and my nan died 3 years ago and my mum has not been the same since!
We used to be quite close, but now i cant even stand to be in the same room as her. We argue over stupid things all the time for example she would say 'i want you to tidy your bedroom' if i say ' no iv already done it this week' she would start to have ago at me saying your house is going to be a shit hole if you can even afford one' then i retaliate telling her to 'shut up' then she will start calling me names like whore and looser, and it turns into a massive argument, and it really upsets me for my mum to be calling me names like that i know that i should try not to say anything back but it soo hard not too, even when i dont she still calls me names she even calls me them in front of my boyfriend.
my mum did go and see a doctor about it when my nan first died but she only went to see them twice and then said shes find and over it, which shes obviously not as she cries over someone not turning a bloody light off.
i have talk to my dad about mum how my mum makes me feel and that i think that she has depression and he does think there is something up with her but says 'ohhh shes okay she just has off days' and has words with her saying not to call me names but it doesn't seem to help. I cant even remember the last time i heard her laugh.
i have but up with her being mardy and calling me names and taking things out on me for 3 years now i just want to get it sorted. my dad and mum argue as-well over the way my mum speaks to my dad. ' but just says when i ask him about it ' ohh shes just having an off day today, just ignore her and let her get on with it'.
i really dont know what to do anymore,
i feel so depressed at times.
Any help of what i could do would be much appreciated thanks (:
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Okay so you know your mother has depression which is the first step for you. If she asks you to do something I would just do it. It makes it easier on her. She needs to relize she needs help before seeing a doctor. You should sit down and talk with her explain to her that you want to have a serious conversation with her. If she agrees tell her mom I love you and I want to talk to you with out you getting upset with me. tell her i know everything is tough for you right know and maybe talking to someone about it would really help even a friend a theripist or even me ( yourself) Say I am willing to sit down with you and listen to you mom if it would help you. Give her a hug after you are done talking and tell her you love her. I simple hug and an I love you can really help. I have depression and post dramtic stress. Sometimes i wish my husband would just stop what he is doing and hug me like he means it.
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First, let me say how sorry I am that you lost your dear Nan. None of the things that are being said to you are anything but rubbish and the words of a severely depressed woman, in my humble opinion. You sound like a very decent and understanding 16 yr old and I think a lot of your instincts are right. Never allow anyone to verbally abuse you. The fact that you can surely understand and feel the under current happening with your Mom are instictual and come from a place of love and of empathy. They, your folks, are lucky to have such an insightful 16 yr old. Maybe try a family member, or friend, since your Dad also seems to be in denial, about getting your Mom and yourself some couseling or some help...maybe just an ear to listen. But, you are healthy enough to know that being called names and attempts at lowering your self-esteem are nothing but poison to a young, impressionible soul and stand firm in your belief in yourself. # years is a long time...time to start a conversation and to get a life preserver thrown our to your poor Mom, who soulnds like she is going over the deep end and her treatment of you is a cry for help.
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