I worked in a casino for over 17 years dealing to people from all over the world and learned a lot about human nature, also, it was interesting to see the hand of fate (lucky or unlucky)in action.
I am into all kinds of art...theatre, writing, painting, drawing and love imaginative people who can express themselves. I love animals and have many...horses, dogs, cats, pigs, turtles, snakes and anything with a heartbeat. I live in the forest in Napa, CA and am surrounded by deer, skunks!,lizards, raccoons...vineyards and trees.
I like people of all ages and nationalities.
Member Since: September 28, 2010
Answers: 13
Last Update: September 30, 2010
Visitors: 1896
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okay im not sure how this site really works but i need advice... im a seventeen year old guy and my girlfriend is sixteen. shes super into cheerleading, shes done it basically her whole life and is on the varisty squad and this super intense competetitve squad. well they had a competiton last week and i guess it was a pretty huge deal and her stunt group (shes the girl in the air) messed up or something and she broke her leg... yeah so they didnt place too hot. i took her home from the hospital later but she was sobbing the entire time and i didnt know what to say or do and i tried to compare it to losing a big game in football anddd breaking my leg all in one day but even then i still didnt know what to say so i just took her to get ice cream haha and she just cried and cried and i felt horrible. shes been depressed ever since. she cant cheer (and its basically her life) and she feels guilty cause she thinks its all her fault they didnt place well and shes super stressed because she wants to cheer in college and make a nation team but recovering from a broken leg takes a long time and so shes got a huge disadvantage because she cant train or improve or anything. shes just so bummed all the time and i dont know how to help her... i wanna give her space but i also just want to make her feel okay but nohting i say will help so what can i do??? (link)
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You sound like a very sweet guy with a lot of heart who wants to help. As great as cheerleading is it sounds like it has defined who she is completely for a long time and she can not see WHO she is without it. Maybe try and explain that now a new set of challenges has come to her aid to help her define who she is without the cheerleading for a while... as hard as that might be for her to hear, some people believe that everything happens for a reason. Cheerleading has a short shelf life in the big scheme of things and after that there needs to be some substance inside, too. Tell her about the good things you see in her besides being a popular cheerleader, plus it sounds a little superficial, but I am sure she has other great qualities, she just needs to cultivate them. This is not to huge a thing to overcome. Telher she should be thanking God that she is not paralyzed or worse, she will heal...some people never get out of the wheelchair or their depression. Maybe direct he towards a little couseling along with the therapy whe'll need after her cast is off. Good luck sweetie, you sound like an ideal boyfriend and a good friend to her , too. Good luck.
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Husband wants me to get a 3some together me him and another girl. we've been married 4 months. I have experianced this before and have kissed girls when really drunk. He knows I like to look at girls and love to watch porn with him. I dont know if this makes me bi or just loves the woman body. I kinda do want that 3some he askes for but in a way dont want to share our bedroom love life with someone else. Is this a normal thing a guy wants or do you think he is not happy with JUST me and my body. I am 29 180lbs and 5'7 he is 6'2 272 and 36 yrs old. (link)
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Believe me, nothing destroys a relationship quicker than involving another person. Everyone has fantasies about everything sexual, it is normal. But pressuring anyone is off limits and feeling like you have to live up to someone's ideal is a burden you don't need , although we've all felt them. I think a lot of modern women these days can easily get turned on over other women sexually especially when watching porn and stuff, totally normal. You have been married only four months, you have a whole life together, there is time to make these decisions but be very careful, things get complicated very fast and hurt feelings and misunderstandings are the norm. You or he may feel different afterwards particularly if you are partying, so be careful and define some part of your relationship that is sacred and untouchable and be very honest about what really excites you and what you'll do just to make him happy, and stand your ground. Don't give it all away in the first few months of marriage , it is like blowing your wad after 2 minutes, savor some excitement and leave him wanting more. Don't be a doormat, be confident and alluring and let him know that you are a prize. Now go be the prize and star defining yourself sexually, don't worry about titles or names (bisexual)just relax and enjoy.
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18/Female. Ok, sorry if this is long but i need advice. ok, i decided i wanted to go to college next year, and moved out and got an apartment for the year. I currently dont have a job either because i dont really need it, because i have plenty of money, but the thing that im having trouble with is making friends. my boyfriend is a senior in high school yet and i am only like ever hanging out with him, (which i Love!) or with him and his friends. but on the days that he just wants to hang out with the guys, thats when im alone! since i dont have like any friends at all anymore, i stay home alone and depressed or dont have anything to do. I dont know what happened? In high school, i used to have one best friend and we would go everywhere together and we shared friends, and we did alot! but once we stopped being friends, i lost contact with all those ppl, and we just eventually stoppped talking?? im also a quieter person so its hard for me to make friends. I also have bad self esteem issues and dont really put myself out there, (that could be part of the problem) but I'm going crazy! what should i do to get out and make more friends? because i wanna find some good close girlfriends? Girls my age need that. Also just recently, i lost one of my best friends. ughhh help! I feel like im the only one like this! what should i do??? is something wrong with me? ): (link)
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Look, you have an apartment and plenty of money, freedom and the luxury of youth. Although you don't need a job, per se, it is one of the ways we difine ourselves and our worth by contributing.
If you are going to let you "senior" boyfriend dictate how you spend your time...alone or with him when he is not with his friends, it sounds a lot like convenience,for him. If he were graduated and all free to be whomever he wanted, would he be sticking around for you? Regardless, the problem as i see it is that you are dependant on him for too much when it comes to your quality of life. Yes, you need friends, hobbies, something that makes you feel good about yourself.Find something to be passionate about and go stake your claim on it. Find a person you admire and model yourself after them...see how they do it. This shoulod be one of the funnest and most vital parts of your life but you have to participate and interact. Quit sitting around waiting for something to happen...go amke it happen. Start speed walking in the park, boost your endorphins, eat properly, read, do something crative, meditate, learn to cook. The world is your oyster....go find your pearls and spread your wings... it is time to grow up and start defining yourself as the woman you want to be, don't get deeper in that hole or you'll never find your way out. Maybe you pulled away from your friends while spending too much time with your boyfriend, but let me say, a good man will make you feel good about yourself and care that you do. What is it that drew him to you anyways, not a bummed out, dumpy depressed girl, obviously you had some spark...get it back and knock the world on it's butt, you can do it, just TRY, PLEASE. good luck.
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What's the borderline between "you can do it as long as you wokr hard and never give up!" and setting yourself up for failure?
I'm aiming for a career as a nurse, but really, there's only a couple of nurses that I like. None of my friends and family love them since they've had bad incidents with them and just think that they're all bitches. And with my experiences as a student working alongside them, I agree 90%. It's kind of hard to become one too but even though I'm average smart, I give it 200% to everything that I do. But it's so hard and I kind of think that it's my limit. Like, I wish I could be smarter, but I think that it limits with people to an extent. But even if I do make it, I'll be surrounded with a lot of co-workers that I will most likely won't like. And I've already given up like my life so far declining social invites, volunteering, etc to just become the best and educated nurse that I can be and become one as soon as possible. Do you think that I can make it evenutally or am I just setting myself for failure because of my perfectionist ideas? (link)
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Listen, if you look around you I am certain you can find people who when you see them you think to yourself."Gee, if they can do it, I can do it."
I know you can look at any profession and see successful people who weren't even born here who have average intelligence that came across some ocean and learned to do everything from scratch in a new language and with strangers who don't even share their heritage. YOU can do it. I helped a friend of mine study to become a nurse while we both worked as blackjack dealers and she just thought she could do it ...it was the only difference. I understood everything she studied and was happy to see it is just steps of info, just like in regular school, and if you are commited, you will graduate. I am not suggesting that it is easy to be a nurse, but, it is do-able. We earned a couple hundred $'s a day dealing cards and she makes a considerable amount more than that now. It is really good money when you get a career in that field and you can be that nurse who really cares about people (not the bitchy one, and maybe you can inspire others), not like my ex-friend who did it so she could snag a doctor, (which she didn't...and she was a beautifully striking girl..but a bad vibe from doing something for selfish payoffs seeps thru) if you really want this, then believe in yourself, confidence is the key and if you don't have it now, fake it til you make it, and you will make it. Forget what your family or anyone else says, it is time for you to live your life for your own fulfillment and if doing it will serve others and cement a lucrative position in life for you, nothing should stop you. Good luck and believe in yourself, honey..now go kick some butt!
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I want to tell my best friends some funny jokes but I don't really know any good or funny jokes that my friends would like or laugh at. Got any I can share? THANKKKKKKS (link)
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what is the difference between a Harley and Hoover (vacuum) ??? *The position of the dirtbag.
(This always get a laugh)
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OK! I am totally freaking out because I came home and the house was quiet and I was being stupid I guess and just walked right into my brothers room without knocking because I didn't think he was home and I wanted to borrow one of these sweatshirts he has that are really comfortable and he was totally jacking off like right there when I opened the door. I slammed the door and ran to my room because that is DISGUSTING. Now I can't even THINK about him without wanting to vomit. What do I do now? Do I confront him? Should I say something about him being a nasty perv? I KNOW HE KNOWS I SAW but he hasn't come out of his room and said anything to me. This is so gross. (link)
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In ten years when you've both grown up a little more you will be laughing about this. It was a taboo subject up until the last 15-20 years when people (comedians) and others have spoken about so much that today it is a well known fact that almost everybody does it at some point or another and you yourself will eventually become a sexual being, so don't let your head get all jammed up over something that is so natural. Always knock before entering anyone's room, if it ever comes up, even in anger, you should apologize for real and I bet he'll think that maybe his bratty little sister is maturing more than he ever guessed and maybe he'll even respect you and think you're cool for handling this better than a regular sister.
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I am dating a guy who is AMAZING! he has a 4 yr old who i love! my problem is that when we have her EVERY WEEKEND he sleeps in her bed with her every night! and when i tell her or ask her to do something he underminds me because its not what she wants!
he says he trys to give her her way bc he only hets her on the weekends... but its making it where im about to GIVE UP and tell him to pack his stuff and hers and get out of my apt!
but i really love him... so idk how to handle all this! (link)
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Giving a child "her way" 2 days a week is only teaching her that he has no boundaries and how to manipulate him from the get go. No child needs this and he is undermining her priorities and her sense of self because of his own guilt over the way the family broke up or that he is just not able to be there 24/7 because of the way way the split was finalized.
You have every right to be upset over his "taking sides" with her no matter what every single weekend, no matter what the circumstances are and you are just getting set up to be the enemy in the long run. This man may be wonderful but he shows some serious imbalances with the child. She should be shown and given respect and love and so should you. You can put your foot down gently and still maintain your home and relationship, otherwise who are you those two days a week? The landlord? The cook? The invisible girl sitting on the back burner with a fake smile plastered across your face waiting for Monday? I suggest he get some counseling, o,r at least a place where you can all come to a comfortable agreement about things and all be happy. He will damage his daughter more than help her doing what he is doing now...and No, I don't think you are in a good position at all under these conditions. Good Luck, honey..you sound like a nice person.
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sooo. im 20/f. i've worked as a server for almost 4 years now at a few different places, but next week i have an interview for a serving position at this really popular bar near the university i go to and im so NERVOUS! i applied there not expecting to even get an interview, because from what i've heard its pretty hard to get a job there, and you typically have to know someone to get an in. what should i do at the interview to help me out? i've done several interviews through out my part-time career, but not at a place like this. it's a bar/grill but they have concerts, trivia/bingo nights, greek events, and all kinds of stuff, so its a place that hundreds of people apply to. the day i applied there were prob 10-15 other girls in there applying at the same time as me, and im just hoping i get it. the only thing i have to help out my case is my experience. any advice?? (link)
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Anyone who smiles and who is clean and friendly and feels attractive... is attractive. I was in your same position and got a job where ALL the cute girls were famous for working. I faked it and I made it and then I understood it was all in my positive and friendly attitude. It will carry you anywhere if you just believe...NOw stand up straight and smile, you know you are a total cutie, now go and WORK IT! Your tips will prove my point.
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I have a plain wall before my eyes where i study (near my study table). What should I do to decorate it, so that I get more interested in sitting there and studying? I am an Indian but I can understand English very well. (link)
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Easy! Fill it with the things you love. Pictures of people or places you fine interesting. Books, magazines you want to read. Ideas, quotes, inspiration. This wall is there and the empty space is begging you to define yourself and find your passion...build it from there, dude. Now, go find it. Find yourself.
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Ok I haven't started my period yet and in early October I'll be 14. My mom started when she was 12 and so did her mom... But my dads mom started after 14 and moms sister and her daughter started at 14. I know I'll probably start at 14 but I want it to just come. People say what you think will happen so I I think about it more will it just come? Or will it wait longer tht way.? Also is there any way I can know when it will cone? Thanks... ASAP please!!!! (link)
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The more you worry about it the longer it will take, believe me, you may spend the next 20 years always worrying if you are on time...all I learned is that the more you worry the worse it is, the minute you stop it will be there when it is ready...quit stressing it out, you are too young to be worrying about this. You will be a woman the rest of your life, chill and enjoy the rest of your childhood, it's almost over. Good luck. Then welcome those hormones. Yikes!
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16/female here!
My boyfriend(also 16) and I have our 200th day in the next 2 weeks and I'm very confused on what to do!
On our 100th day, I did the simple making cookies but I also added in my home-made stuffed bunny that I made him.. he LOVES it! XD hahaa I know it's kiddish but I knew that he'd like it because guys are little softies inside~ X3 and sooo i was just curious of what to get/give/make him this time~ :) Please help me~ :]
Thanks! :D (link)
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Guys love their favorite food. Get a basket and fill it with all the stuff he loves to snack on and maybe some notes to promise a special dessert he loves or to wash his car in your short shorts. Clean his room or shut your mouth in an petty arguement.
Little things that you remember that he loves will always be a great gift he won't forget.
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I am a 15/M. I have been very thin and weak since my birth. I had seen many doctors regarding this matter but they say that everything is fine. But i feel very lethargic and weak. I have taken many weight gainers, but they didn't prove to be useful. I feel very hungry, even if i had just eaten. It feels like i have not eaten anything. (link)
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I know what it feels like to be hungry even if you've eaten a lot. Sometimes emotional issues are cross related in that you are hungry for something more than FOOD. Maybe not, but, I know when I was your age and struggling with my self and my identity I would want attention but it always went to my younger brother who was ill. I filled that void with food...and did not even get fat or over weight at all. It was not until I grew up and found sustaining relationships and personal satisfaction that I began to notice that my eating and HUNGER had nothing to do with nutrients or eating 6 eggs and toast and oatmeal, it had to do with something psychological and today I eat normally and enjoy my meals as well as my relationships. There are just a few but it was so much more than I had when I was 15, plus, food is delicious..what do you like, what do you crave? Maybe try to develop a relationship with someone who like to have a bite with you and talk, it can be comforting and fulfilling, too. I hope you find your peace eventually and have the capacity to understand the inner working of your own self...look inside..and maybe try some new foods..powers and stuff is just filler, find your passion in a food you love and maybe you can balance that with your personal relationships. I don't know you but I know what helped me and I wish you the same success. Try Thai, or Italian or Japanese...just try something that makes your palate and tummy and mind...respond...good luck.
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i am 16 years old girl and my nan died 3 years ago and my mum has not been the same since!
We used to be quite close, but now i cant even stand to be in the same room as her. We argue over stupid things all the time for example she would say 'i want you to tidy your bedroom' if i say ' no iv already done it this week' she would start to have ago at me saying your house is going to be a shit hole if you can even afford one' then i retaliate telling her to 'shut up' then she will start calling me names like whore and looser, and it turns into a massive argument, and it really upsets me for my mum to be calling me names like that i know that i should try not to say anything back but it soo hard not too, even when i dont she still calls me names she even calls me them in front of my boyfriend.
my mum did go and see a doctor about it when my nan first died but she only went to see them twice and then said shes find and over it, which shes obviously not as she cries over someone not turning a bloody light off.
i have talk to my dad about mum how my mum makes me feel and that i think that she has depression and he does think there is something up with her but says 'ohhh shes okay she just has off days' and has words with her saying not to call me names but it doesn't seem to help. I cant even remember the last time i heard her laugh.
i have but up with her being mardy and calling me names and taking things out on me for 3 years now i just want to get it sorted. my dad and mum argue as-well over the way my mum speaks to my dad. ' but just says when i ask him about it ' ohh shes just having an off day today, just ignore her and let her get on with it'.
i really dont know what to do anymore,
i feel so depressed at times.
Any help of what i could do would be much appreciated thanks (: (link)
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First, let me say how sorry I am that you lost your dear Nan. None of the things that are being said to you are anything but rubbish and the words of a severely depressed woman, in my humble opinion. You sound like a very decent and understanding 16 yr old and I think a lot of your instincts are right. Never allow anyone to verbally abuse you. The fact that you can surely understand and feel the under current happening with your Mom are instictual and come from a place of love and of empathy. They, your folks, are lucky to have such an insightful 16 yr old. Maybe try a family member, or friend, since your Dad also seems to be in denial, about getting your Mom and yourself some couseling or some help...maybe just an ear to listen. But, you are healthy enough to know that being called names and attempts at lowering your self-esteem are nothing but poison to a young, impressionible soul and stand firm in your belief in yourself. # years is a long time...time to start a conversation and to get a life preserver thrown our to your poor Mom, who soulnds like she is going over the deep end and her treatment of you is a cry for help.
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