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trouble making friends?
18/Female. Ok, sorry if this is long but i need advice. ok, i decided i wanted to go to college next year, and moved out and got an apartment for the year. I currently dont have a job either because i dont really need it, because i have plenty of money, but the thing that im having trouble with is making friends. my boyfriend is a senior in high school yet and i am only like ever hanging out with him, (which i Love!) or with him and his friends. but on the days that he just wants to hang out with the guys, thats when im alone! since i dont have like any friends at all anymore, i stay home alone and depressed or dont have anything to do. I dont know what happened? In high school, i used to have one best friend and we would go everywhere together and we shared friends, and we did alot! but once we stopped being friends, i lost contact with all those ppl, and we just eventually stoppped talking?? im also a quieter person so its hard for me to make friends. I also have bad self esteem issues and dont really put myself out there, (that could be part of the problem) but I'm going crazy! what should i do to get out and make more friends? because i wanna find some good close girlfriends? Girls my age need that. Also just recently, i lost one of my best friends. ughhh help! I feel like im the only one like this! what should i do??? is something wrong with me? ):
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Girl, you're not the only one. I don't have a boyfriend, but I have a couple of really best friends and sometimes when they can't spare time for me, I'll die slowly in my room from boredom. I'm also really quiet and awkward and shy with strangers so it's really hard for me to have new friends.
However recently, I joined a club and had to force myself to talk to people. Even though I'm really shy, I sometimes had panic attacks in the bathroom before going to club meetings, I pushed myself to be a bit more sociable. Now I have more friends and my best friends are even startin to complain that I don't have time for them anymore lol.
Sometimes it's hard, you feel like you're trying too hard, other people don't care about you, you feel insecure about approaching new strangers. But be strong girl! I'm still constantly trying to be more sociable, so i understand how hard it is to have new friends when you don't have anyone. Just put yourself out there. Join a club or tudy in a group with your classes or participate in an event, there's so many things you can do
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Look, you have an apartment and plenty of money, freedom and the luxury of youth. Although you don't need a job, per se, it is one of the ways we difine ourselves and our worth by contributing.
If you are going to let you "senior" boyfriend dictate how you spend your time...alone or with him when he is not with his friends, it sounds a lot like convenience,for him. If he were graduated and all free to be whomever he wanted, would he be sticking around for you? Regardless, the problem as i see it is that you are dependant on him for too much when it comes to your quality of life. Yes, you need friends, hobbies, something that makes you feel good about yourself.Find something to be passionate about and go stake your claim on it. Find a person you admire and model yourself after them...see how they do it. This shoulod be one of the funnest and most vital parts of your life but you have to participate and interact. Quit sitting around waiting for something to happen...go amke it happen. Start speed walking in the park, boost your endorphins, eat properly, read, do something crative, meditate, learn to cook. The world is your oyster....go find your pearls and spread your wings... it is time to grow up and start defining yourself as the woman you want to be, don't get deeper in that hole or you'll never find your way out. Maybe you pulled away from your friends while spending too much time with your boyfriend, but let me say, a good man will make you feel good about yourself and care that you do. What is it that drew him to you anyways, not a bummed out, dumpy depressed girl, obviously you had some spark...get it back and knock the world on it's butt, you can do it, just TRY, PLEASE. good luck.
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