|
how can i help my girlfriend??
okay im not sure how this site really works but i need advice... im a seventeen year old guy and my girlfriend is sixteen. shes super into cheerleading, shes done it basically her whole life and is on the varisty squad and this super intense competetitve squad. well they had a competiton last week and i guess it was a pretty huge deal and her stunt group (shes the girl in the air) messed up or something and she broke her leg... yeah so they didnt place too hot. i took her home from the hospital later but she was sobbing the entire time and i didnt know what to say or do and i tried to compare it to losing a big game in football anddd breaking my leg all in one day but even then i still didnt know what to say so i just took her to get ice cream haha and she just cried and cried and i felt horrible. shes been depressed ever since. she cant cheer (and its basically her life) and she feels guilty cause she thinks its all her fault they didnt place well and shes super stressed because she wants to cheer in college and make a nation team but recovering from a broken leg takes a long time and so shes got a huge disadvantage because she cant train or improve or anything. shes just so bummed all the time and i dont know how to help her... i wanna give her space but i also just want to make her feel okay but nohting i say will help so what can i do???
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey, Thanks for posting your question on here
Wow... first off I am sorry for what happened to your gf but I have to give you props for being there for her even in the hospital... says a lot about you as a person.
- What your gf needs right now is for people to stop mentioning anything related to what happened really... like anything having to do with competitions etc... she does not want to hear that at all as I am sure you know that by now... Furthermore, what she need right now is solid motivation... you need to give that to her... words like listen gf (don't know her name so lets refer to ger as gf) I know you are a strong person.. you have showed that to me and your squad as well... don't think that what happened was your fault.. things like these happen all the time... I know you are feeling sad and down but don't worry, life is all about the failures and great comeback stories of people just like you! I know you are a great competitor/cheerleader and you cannot let this situation step on you and bring you down whatsoever! chase that dream of yours! take this experience as something that will only make you stronger instead of weak and depressed... you are stronger than what you think you are and you are not seeing that but I am here to remming you of how great you are and how much of a determined person you really are. It will take some time to heal of course but your future goals are not going to be effected by this at all! you give it time for you to get stringer and fit... and when you do, you will get back in there stronger and more determined than ever! this is an experience that will make you notice that even the best fall down but when they fall, they get up and come back to the field stronger and more powerful than ever.
- She need to here these strong words coming out of you... something as deep, simple and strong as this will surely bring her up... especially if it is coming form the person she loves... and if when you tell her this you guys are alone and talking in a quite environment... you need to be serious but at the same time have a caring tone on your face... touch her cheek while you talk... or touch her tenderly on leg... this acts of kindness will remind her for sure that she is stringer than what she thinks she is sometimes... make her realize that things like these happen and when she gets better she will have a great comeback!
- I wish you the best... if you have any more questions or need any other sort of advice I am here dude no worries... now go have a private talk with your girl and make your speech as close as this one!
best,
-trueadvice3
]
You sound like a very sweet guy with a lot of heart who wants to help. As great as cheerleading is it sounds like it has defined who she is completely for a long time and she can not see WHO she is without it. Maybe try and explain that now a new set of challenges has come to her aid to help her define who she is without the cheerleading for a while... as hard as that might be for her to hear, some people believe that everything happens for a reason. Cheerleading has a short shelf life in the big scheme of things and after that there needs to be some substance inside, too. Tell her about the good things you see in her besides being a popular cheerleader, plus it sounds a little superficial, but I am sure she has other great qualities, she just needs to cultivate them. This is not to huge a thing to overcome. Telher she should be thanking God that she is not paralyzed or worse, she will heal...some people never get out of the wheelchair or their depression. Maybe direct he towards a little couseling along with the therapy whe'll need after her cast is off. Good luck sweetie, you sound like an ideal boyfriend and a good friend to her , too. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |