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Q: ok i work at a big supermarket that sells like everything, and ive been working there for over a year. Well all of a sudden ive become considered "hot" and guys seem to show a lot of intrest in me. Especially guys from a certain department. The thing is that ive heard they're having a bet to see who can get with me first, and three guys have asked me out from this department in the last month, when theres like tops 10 guys in there. It makes me worried cause im not a girl who will just go out with all these guys and its kind of annoying how they think they can take advantage of me. How can i really find a great guy at work and not think that their in on a bet or something? and what do u think about those guys from the department?
That's really immature of them. How stupid for them to be looking at you as though you're an object to be toyed around with! Immature guys just feed off making bets; it's almost like a game for them. I'd say the best thing to do is ignore these guys, and avoid them at all costs. You can find someone outside of work, who won't simply regard you as a bet to be won. If a guy at work asks you out, chances are he is on the bet (as you say, 3 guys have already asked you out in the last month)-- so simply ignore them; they're obviously way too immature for you. Oh, and what do I think about the guys from the department? Aside from the fact that they're immature, I find their behavior to be disrespectful and demeaning. Forget about them.

Q: Is it alright to become what you realized who you really were? like for example, before i didnt know i was a gothic/emo type person. i dont often show emotions,i dont smile,i hav a dark personality,and i always wear dark clothing so when i studied about my habits i realized i was a gothic type person so i decided to express who i really was but the problem is i didnt realize that before and now that i know and became who i really am im just wondering if it's ok. i dont want to be like a poser or a wannabe i just realized it. so is it ok?
It is perfectly fine to be whoever/however you feel comfortable being. That does not make you a poser in any way. A poser is someone who acts or dresses a certain way in order to fit in with some crowd or trend. Since you realized that deep down you feel goth, then expressing that aspect of yourself would not make you a poser. Just do what feels comfortable, whether it's through music, clothes, personality, etc.. if you know who you are deep down, then it shouldn't matter what others might think. Your question is titled, "becoming who you were all along." -- That sounds like a good idea to me. Since you realize you were a certain way all along, then that's clearly how you are comfortable being.

Q: Well my name is alex
I love illini
Basketball
Im a German freak
&& i love the number 23
I have brown hair and brown eyes
and im a shortie
&& im 14 years old
I live in chicago

Can you help me think of some ideas for a new SN??

THANKS

O by the way this is actully is bestest friend :D
Not really him.
Here are some suggestions:

ChicagoBball_23
GermanIllini23
German_Illini
Illini23
ChicagoShortie
Bball_23
GermanShortie
German_Shortie

Hhaha..it's kind of fun coming up with ideas!

Q: wen i put a tampoon in it hurts..i no its not suppose to. does anyone no anything htat i cood be doing wrong? ive tried various times.also wen i pee it usually falls down.hwo long shood i keep it in for. HELP MEH PLEASE.xoo thanks
Try using a plastic-applicator tampon (more comfortable to put in). It sounds like you're new to this, but don't worry, you'll get used to it. Just remember to relax while you're inserting the tampon- it's important for your pelvic muscles to be fully relaxed, as it makes it a lot easier on you. Also, try being in a relaxed position. You might consider using Playtex "Gentle Glide," or "slim Fits" tampons. I find plastic applicators to be the most comfortable. Keep in mind that you may not be pushing the tampon in enough. Once it is up far enough, you shouldn't feel it at all. Oh, and once it's in properly, going pee will not affect the placement.
Here's a useful link on how to properly use tampons:
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/tampon.html

Q: There's this guy I kind of sort of like. And we've been on a date. Bu I don't know if I want to keep dating him because...I feel like I can do better. I feel really shallow, but I find myself interested in other guys too. I don't know what to do because he's really a great guy but I don't feel comitted.
I think that maybe you're being too hard on yourself. Ask yourself what it is about this person that makes you feel as though you can find someone better. Chances are that you don't know enough about him, and that you're being picky. TRUST ME, I tend to do the exact same. If you feel like the first date went fairly well, then try hanging out another time-- be yourself,relax and let things flow. Try not to pin-point every little thing about the person, but rather judge him on the whole. Ask yourself if he's being respectful, if he seems interested, if you guys enjoy each other's company, etc. And remember, it's literally impossible to find someone who matches you 100%. Anyway, sometimes things just don't feel right, or you know that the person's not right for you. But before you make that judgment, be realistic about your expectations, and try not to be too hard on this (or any other) guy.
But anyway, no, you are not being shallow- you're just having doubts and are being picky; try to relax, and see this guy for who he is. But don't force anything: if it's not meant to be, you'll know it.

Q: Does anyone have any effective hangover cures? I have school in a couple of hours and I feel as if I have been hit by a bus.
Aaargh, I know exactly how you feel. The best thing to do at this point is drink lots of water, and some orange juice as well (nutrients). I know this may be the last thing you want to do, but eat something heavy--bread, bagel,etc.. when I have a hangover I try having a big breakfast, even though I completely lose my appetite. For future reference, when you're going to drink, have some water in between drinks. Having a hangover is also the result of being dehydrated. And make sure not to drink on an empty stomach. Have a good meal before going out to drink.
Anyway, everyone has a hangover once in a while, and it sucks.. you're probably going to feel pretty drained the whole day, but to at least minimize the effects, try some of the above pointers.

Q: I dont want to go to this concert with my friends tonight.

Well, I kind of do, but I don't know if my dad will let me.

What are some excuses to tell my friends (NOT my dad won't let me--I use that too much)

OR
what are some ways to persuade my dad to let me go?

I already told my friend I'd ask....
Well, I would try asking your dad if you could go to the concert- a good way of persuading him to let you go is to be calm, and explain a few things: who you will be going with, how long the concert will be, what time you expect to be back...
I'm assuming you do have curfew, so make sure you make it back by that time. If he asks, you could reassure him that you'll be with a group of people, no drinking, etc..
If he still isn't convinced, don't worry about what excuses you'll use; it'll only make you nervous. The best thing is to be honest, but if you really don't want to, you can tell your friends that you really have to go somewhere else with your parents or that you have to study or something..
Hope you end up going to the concert!

Q: if i have heavy eye make-up what color of lipstick shud i use? please recomend me alot of colors thanks!!!!!!!!
One of the makeup trends that's in right now, is using a pale/nude lip color with heavy eye makeup. A good tip is to try to have a contrast. So if you're going to use heavy eye makeup, then use a light lipstick--maybe cream color, or beige. But on the other hand, if you want to have only a little bit of eye makeup, then it would be ok to experiment with other colors.
So as you want to use heavy eye makeup, I'd recommend: beige, caramel, light pink...
something along those lines. Think simple :)

Q: this sounds like a completely dumb question, but can you get an orgasm in/around/near your breasts?
It's not typical, but I have heard of women who have had an orgasm just by having their breasts/nipples stimulated. I actually read that some women orgasm while breastfeeding! But in all actuality, it's not very common, although it could be a major turn on. Of course the erogenous zone, is the female clitoris. And there have been studies about the "G Spot," which is located somewhere inside the vaginal walls. But anyway, I would say that having one's breasts touched/caressed is a form of foreplay.

Q: Okay, so do you know what those little fuzzy things that are on shirts called? Like, you could have a shirt, all clean and stuff, but after a while it gets these little fuzzy thingies all over. Not lint or anything.. I actually have no idea what it's called. Hopefully, you understand me? & If you know what they are, why do they get there?
Like the previous person said, these things are usually called, "fuzzies." I don't know what the exact term is, maybe fuz balls or fuzzies..
But anyway, they show up when your clothing (usually cotton) gets worn out. For example, if one of my shirts has been in the wash a lot, the fibers get worn out and frayed, so those "fuzzies" show up.

Q: Okay well... my boyfriend and I are both
virgins and not sexually active what so ever.
However, when we lay down on a couch/bed and he wraps his arms around me I get a lot of VD.
Like what the heck ?
Is this normal ? or just weird ?
HELP.
Like the other columnists said, it's completely normal...and it's a good thing too. Take it as a sign of you being turned on, and nothing more. It's your body's natural way of showing you that you're ready for sex, but of course if you aren't, then just take it as a sign of you being turned on by being with your boyfriend. I get like this too, and sometimes I get self-conscious about it, but I remind myself that it's completely healthy and normal

Q: about how much blood comes out when you pop your cherry?
It all depends. Some people only have a few drops, while others have a bit more. BUT don't worry at all, it's usually not a lot. One thing to remember though, is that some girls hymen is actually broken by other things other than sex, like horseback riding, tampons, etc... So it's not necessarily true that all girls bleed when they first have sex. Generally though, it's a little bit..maybe around
a few drops to a tablespoon or so..

Q: yikes
i have everything i need
i got vd
i have boobs
and i have hips
and i have hair DOWN THERE ,lol
but yeah
whats wrong with me
will i get it soon
i get vd a lottttt
help
I know why you feel nervous, but don't worry, everyone's body is different. Some girls get their period early on, while others are "late bloomers." Either way, everyone is different, and it's all normal. I got my period when I was 13, but my sister was only 10. I have a friend who got it when she was 16...so really, you have nothing to worry about.
It would be helpful for you to talk to a school nurse about it...they have tons of information and are always there to talk to you.
I do know how you feel about being sort of anxious over it. It does seem like it's "about time," but in the end, you'll realize it's no rush :)

Q: I just got a new dog, and I named him Theodoric, the- (like in theatre) ah- (like a scream) door- (like what you open) rick (just like it sounds). I don't mind calling him the full name in the slightest, but I want him to have a cute little nickname. Any ideas?
That's a nice name :) I agree with the previous person, that Teddy is really cute. I was also thinking, Ricky, since Rick is at the end of his name. Teddy and Ricky sound really cute for a dog.

Or maybe Dori (dor part)...haha, i'm getting all creative here.

Let us know what you end up naming him :)

Q: I feel like my stress level is sky rocketing. I'm 16 years old, and a sophomore at a private highschool. I just feel like I cant take a breath any more. My grades are slipping (i get like b's and i have 1 C and 1 A) I worry constantly about getting into College (because i dont really have anything that sets me apart from others...i'm not athletic or good at anything)

Also, i just feel constant pressure for things like drinking and drugs. I drink a little, but i dont smoke or do drugs, and i feel like that makes me strange. Also, i dont have a boyfriend, which just stresses me out more, because i feel like i'm supposed to have one.

I just need something to relieve my stress. I have finals coming up soon, and i have to study, which means even more stress.

I just feel like my life revolves around stress now.

Please help me!!!
Thanks.
I know exactly how you feel! It's not easy dealing with the pressure of school. On top of that, these days there are a number of social pressures. I'm now 22, but can remember being 16-- and I felt the exact same way. Everyone goes through this.

First off, as far as your school work goes, all you can do is try your best. Don't beat yourself up over trying to stand out. Try your hardest to keep your grades up..you can go to a tutoring center ( a lot of schools have them for free), or just spend more time on the subjects you feel need more improvement. And I know that everyone's trying to get into a good college- there's always something you can do to get involved..not just sports. I wasn't involved in sports either. You could try joining a school club, or volunteering in the community ( there are tons of opportunities). I know it's competitive, but try doing something you really enjoy.

Oh, and as for the social pressures: drinking, dating, and drugs.I know you're a smart girl--otherwise you wouldn't even be questioning this. Just follow this simple rule: Don't ever do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Period. I know that lots of kids go around doing these things..but guess what? Most people only do this to act cool. Drugs are not cool. You don't need to drink to have fun, but if you're going to, know your tolerance and don't go past it. Don't overdo it just cause everyone seems to be.
Oh, the whole boyfriend thing. It's okay not to have a boyfriend. You're still young.. I know that things always happen when you least expect it. No body is supposed to have something, or do something... if you do, you do. It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself. Just focus on your school, friends and family. All the other things really don't matter in the long run.

Q: ok well im single right now but i have a problem with keeping conversations going because i can never think of things to say and it seems like half the time when i do say somthing its not the right thing to say.
Can you help me with figuring out how to be more talkitive or give me things that i can talk about. i get real shy easily too...well sorta
and im not very good at talking on the phone i hate the akward silences....soo please help me what can i do?!?!?
I completely understand how you feel. I feel awkward and shy too, unless I feel comfortable. I'm sure you heard this a lot before, but the best thing to do is to relax and be yourself. You mention that when you say something it's not the right thing to say...everyone is self-consious. The more you think about saying the "right thing," the more nervous and tense you'll feel.Besides, sometimes when you think you've said the wrong thing, the other person might not think so at all. I know it seems difficult, but try to relax and be yourself. Often times, your true personality comes through when you feel comfortable. But anyway, I get the same way. I tend to be shy, but I do have my moments. I'm starting to date someone (the last time I have was around last year), and it's too soon to tell how things are going. I do feel awkward and tense at times, but when I remind myself to relax, things go so much better. Oh, and the whole talking on the phone thing...I hate awkward silence as much as you do, but we all go through it. And sometimes, it's not just you...you may simply not click with someone, and that's okay.
Sometimes I try to bring up something random that I'm interested in, or that i may be thinking about, and that usually gets the conversation flowing. At othertimes, I pretty much know right away if I get along with someone or not.
Just to let you know, I grew up as the "quiet, awkward one" who sometimes had her moments. My sister was the social butterfly of the family. Sometimes I look at her and try to emulate her behavior. She'll just start talking to random people, and is really easy going. We're not all like that, but what I noticed was that she's comfortable and isn't too self-conscious. I think that social skills come with confidence. It takes a lot of building up, but a good first step is to try and relax and not think too deeply about the situation.
WOW! I've written a lot. I hope this helps. Feel free to message me with other questions or comments!

Q: wher do i go to get cheeked about vaginal burning and itching . i need help as soon as possible. and a way so my mother doesn't find out

If your symptoms are accompanied by abnormal discharge (thick/white, or yellowish or greenish, both with a foul odor), it could be a sign of a number of things. You could have a yeast infection, but based on your comments, there's no way to tell unless you get this checked out by a gyno. This could also be a matter of hygiene. Wear only cotton (breathable) underwear, and make sure to always wash yourself down there (no soap, it's too irritating) everytime you take a shower. But anyway, the only way to know what's going on is to get checked out. You could try going to planned parenthood, or speak with a school nurse to see where the nearest clinic is. You could get a free exam, and if needed, a prescription for cream or antibiotics. But again, there's no way for me to tell you what's going on. Go to a clinic to put your mind at ease.

Q: i only poop like once a week and it makes me feel fat and bloated and sick and huge all week long. i eat pretty healthy. no junk food, no soda, no fast food, at least one piece of fruit a day, etc. how can i poop more often? what could i be missing from my diet that's making me never poop like ever? what can i do?
That's not a good sign...but everyone's different. It's usually normal to go once (or twice) a day, or every other day. One reason you might not be going often is that you may not be drinking enough water. I also have days when I don't go poop, but it's normal to go once or twice a day. Start drinking more water and getting more excersize. Is this something that has recently happened? I think the best thing for you to do is speak to a doctor or nurse about this..it could simply be a matter of changing your lifestyle or diet, although it does sound like you're keeping healthy. Three common reasons for this are: a) not enough water in diet , b) not enough excersize, c) too much stress.
You could be constipated...this doesn't sound like something serious, but I'd call your doctor to see what you can do about it.

Q: my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex tonight but he did not cum in me...five hours later i started my period...could i still get pregnant?
There's no way to know for sure unless you get a pregnancy test. Even if your boyfriend did not cum, there could have been pre-cum which could still get you pregnant. Anyway, you can get a free pregnancy test at a clinic like Planned Parenthood, and they're the most accurate (usually they test your urine or blood). Chances are you're not pregnant since you say you started your period, but there's still no way to tell unless you go get tested.

Q:

like sometimes i'd feel pretty confident and stuff and then later i'd be like kinda embarassed or something about things.. its kinda confusing. i guess cause sometimes i want attention and then when i get it i dont want so much of it, but like.. AHH! and other things too.. like im confused if i have alot of selfesteem. i believe that i do but sometimes i dont actually like feel it. :/ whats my diagnosis, advicenators? and whats my medication?
Sometimes I feel the exact same way about myself. It's totally natural to go from feeling completely comfortable and confident in yourself, to the exact opposite. Believe me, everyone has these moments.

I find that the best thing to do is to focus on your strong points- and I'm sure you have many. You did mention that you have self-esteem at times, so that's a good sign. No body can feel good about themselves 100% of the time. We all have our ups and downs. Try thinking about what you're good at, and what it is that makes you YOU. It definatley sounds like you're a great person, that that this may be just a part of being a human being. Sometimes when I don't feel so good about myself, I call my sister, or go out with friends...it is reassuring. Just remind yourself to be strong.

bio
ciao77
I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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