Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

Favourite Collumnists. (WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)


    The Question
    i have these reddish bumps on my arm. some other girls/guys i know have it too...i was just wondering what it was called. my doctor told me that people are born with it and it is not contagious but it can't be cured. what is this called? is there a website about it?

    The Answer
    I think what you are talking about is Keratosis or 'chicken skin'. It's an amazingly common, genetic skin condition that they say will affect about 80% of teenagers and will continue for many people into adulthood...

    If it really bothers you it might be worth seeing a dermatologist over, or even just asking your pharmacist for some free advice.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keratosis_pilaris

    I will add my completely unsubstantiated opinion: I've had chicken skin on my legs for as long as I can remember and the new Olay moisturizer with Body Ribbons is the best non-medical thing I've ever found for it...
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I was watching this documentry about the original story of Dracula by Bram Stoker. Is there any website that might have the entire novel on it to read? If not, would they have this book available at my local library? Thankyou.

    The Answer
    http://www.bibliomania.com/0/0/47/90/frameset.html

    Bibliomania.com is a fantastic site where you can go to read a lot of classic books that are no longer covered by copyright laws and so are free to reproduce.

    Dracula would also, more then likely, be available at your library, or you could probably pick up an inexpensive copy at a used book store.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    It goes like this.
    This friend of mine has a five and a half long distance relatioship with some guy.
    He came back 2 weeks ago. She found out he was exchanging emails (be carefull when you call me LOVE...cause you know...her!!!).
    Well she decided to forgive him just cause she loves him REALLY BAD. Even though he presented a couple of lame excuses.
    Unfortunatelly... his mother Hates her. She is like.."I give you 5000euros if you dump that bitch" and I am not Joking. She really said that thing.
    Also...HIS friends hate her. You know how it goes...they hate seeing him NOT fucking other girls etc...so they told him that SHE has been cheating on him for 2 years.
    The guy knows that a lie but chooses to believe it and starts hating her and ignoring her cause hey...its summer time..and everyone wants to be free on summer time right? Cause its mating season...
    On the mean time...the girl has been crying non stop, she is not sleeping at all. She called him and he was like "Dont call me all in tears and screw up my Night Out" and hang up on her (What A Dick!!!).
    So, his friends eventually OPENLY told him that they lied to him and for some reason* he decided to stay mad at her and asked her not to call him for a while.
    *and by some reason, I mean that she has been running after him, crying, apologising (even though she made nothing wrong) and giving excuses (even though HE should be the one giving the excuses), and probably that makes him feel like a REAL man...like he is Wanted...he is flattered by that, you know what I mean?

    What I want from you is.
    This day one of them not talking.
    Will he call her if she doesn t? Answer just YES or NO. Dont explain why you believe weather he calls or not.

    Will he eventually realise what a dick he s been? I believe that YES he will. And that probably in the future SHE will be the one NOT wanting him back cause he proved how rotten he can be. She just cant see it now cause she is hurt and loves him.

    Any advice I could give to the girl? She wont go out with her friends...she does not want to eat 5 kilos of ice cream...she does not want a girls night out...she does not want to get drunk...she just cries. She does not eat or sleep...just cry non stop. Waiting for her cellphone to ring.

    The Answer
    He may call, but not for a while, and when he does sound like she'll probably run back to him.

    Why wouldn't he call her? He gets to be with her, has her as a girlfriend, and gets to mess around with anyone else he chooses without actually getting into any trouble. He has her so dogged down and insecure that she apologizes when she should kick him in the balls. For a guy who likes to cheat and screw around on a girl, he has hit the jackpot in your friend.

    The only reason he might not call is he might finally be feed up of all this bullshit from his family, family and from her. (Yes I said from her. The simple truth is, being with someone who lets you walk all over them is not really that much fun. It’s drama-filled and exhausting.)

    No, he will likely never realize what a dick he has been. He may eventually, not be such a dick anymore, but he'll never really consider what he has done to your friend because he likely doesn't care all that much about her, at least not any more.

    It's okay that she is still in the crying-all-the-time phase. Give her a day or two to get bored of bawling all the time. Ice cream and girly drinks are good suggestions and can really help, but they come in later on in the process. For the time being, try to be patient with her. When she can get out a sentence or two without sobbing, then start doing the girl friend break up therapy.

    If you want my guess at all of this, this boy is pretty much done with her, although he might not know it yet. They might drag this out for a few more months but it sounds to me like a pretty clear cut case of "just not that into you."

    Do what you can for your friend, but don't kill yourself over trying to make her feel better. Sooner or later she is going to have to choose better for herself, or else she will never get past guys who treat her this way. Nothing you can say will really help, that is just a decision she needs to come to.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    What would you do iuf you hurt someone's feelings (someone in your family) and you apologize but they don't want to forgive you?

    The Answer
    You take a deep breath, and you wait.

    Somtimes, with serious transgretions or breaks of faith with people you deeply care about, forgiveness is a loooooong process. As an example, my brother is a recovering meth adict and I love him, but truth be told, I'm not sure I've really forgiven him in my heart yet. He hurt a lot of people with his choices and there is a part of me that is still angry.

    What is important, in my opinion, is that you make sure that you have done everything in your power to encourage thier forgiveness. Don't go out and make the same mistake tommorrow!

    At the same time, you don't need to drag yourself across the floor to try and win thier forgiveness. You might try telling them, once more, that you are sorry you hurt them, and that thier forgiveness is really important to you, so if there is anything you can do to help them forgive you are up for it.

    After that, let it go. You can't control thier actions, only your own. So correct the mistake you made as very best as you can. Forgive yourself, and know they will probably come around eventually, and even if they don't, you'll be okay.
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    The Question
    13/f

    my problem is with my best friend's mom. she's really competitive and wants her daughter to be the best at everything... grades, sports, popularity in school, whatever. well, any time i do better at something (which happens a lot actually), her mom kinda freaks out. i mean, she's always really nice to me, but i can tell it drives her crazy.

    well, one thing her mom really wants is for my friend to have a boyfriend. but my friend is really shy around guys, and even though a lot of guys ask her out, she always says no. and her mom gets mad at her about it. and i know her mom is really jealous that i've had a boyfriend for over a year.

    but now for the big problem. my boyfriend's family is really good friends with my friend's family. and lately, my friend's mom has been inviting them to do all this stuff, and always tells my boyfriend how much fun he's gonna have with my friend! its like shes trying to get them together. and then she (the mom) tells me all about what they did and how much fun they had together, like she's trying to rub it in and make me jealous. well, it's working, cuz i AM getting jealous, and really mad too!

    i know... if my boyfriend ends up liking my friend, there's nothing i can do about it. i don't actually think he will, though... but i can't help worrying about it a little. but mostly i'm just mad that her mom is doing this! its like she can't stand me having this guy so she's trying to steal him away for her daughter.

    i guess this isn't really a question, cuz there's probably nothing i can do about it. but if anyone has any advice for me, i'd love to hear it.

    The Answer
    Talk to your boyfriend about this.

    You are absolutely right (and very mature to realize) that nothing will happen between your boy and you friend unless he chooses it. So try and relax, but first, explain to your boy what it eating at you.

    I had a friend with a similar kind of mother. Crazy damn lady, and sometimes she made me feel so small and weak. I'm twenty-two now and last time I saw her I was telling her and her daughter that I had graduated from university and got a job I was very excited about (my friend had dropped out and moved home) and her mother decides to remind me that when I was sixteen, I made thirteen cents less an hour then her daughter did... So I laughed at her.

    My point is: It's not all in your head, although people you tell, like your boyfriend, might think you are over reacting and that these people never change. The best you can do it try to laugh off their ridiculous behavior.

    You also may try, very gently and very sensitively, talking to your friend about her mother’s behavior. We are very rarely able to see just what the problem is with the people that are so close to us all our lives, but if your friend feels like her mom is pushing her it could go a long way for you to say “Yeah, I see that too, sometimes it seems like she I making you compete with me and I hate it. Don’t let it get to you. You’re an awesome chick.” You don’t need to go into a bitch fest about her mother, it’s her mom after all! But sharing what you see might help her realize it really is going on.

    Good Luck.
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    The Question
    How can you tell if a guy is after sex or love? I feel like I can't be objective so I'm just gonna tell you some stuff and you'll tell me what you think.. what is he after? He seems to be very interested in me even though we've NEVER kissed or held hands or had any physical contact (so that speaks for LOVE right?) ALTHOUGH I have given him strong signs that if he were to become mine, we'd do A LOT of physical stuff.. so I have planted expectations in his head. When he flirts it's usually like "i can't wait to be alone with you" "i cant wait to see you..theres all these things i want to say to you..and do to you" or "make sure you wear tasty lipgloss the next time you come over" but sometimes he also says "i miss you so much" or "Love you like a fat kids love cake" His friends all lie to him and tell him I'm a slut.. so he probably thinks I'm easy (even though I've only had one kiss and nothing else my whole life!) but he's always treated me with respect. When he wants to give me a compliment it has never been about anything physical, it's always like "you're so sweet" or "you have this quality i've never seen in any other chick" or sometimes compliments my eyes, so i dont know, i get mixed signals, and I would really want to know what he's after, cause I don't put out..

    oh and one more question! lets say I'm at his house..and we're making out (which im cool with) but then he starts undressing me.. is there any way to pause the physical without saying "lets take it slow" or "I dont want to".. like is there a way to not go further withotu ruining the mood or making it awkward?!

    The Answer
    The sad truth is you can't really tell what he is after right now. Most people are on their very best behavior at the beginning of an infatuation. He's trying to impress you (and you are trying to impress him too) right now, so unless you see any serious warning signs, try and assume the best of his intentions. Just don't close your eyes, keep paying attention for the little red flags.

    Frankly though, if you don't 'put out' and if you already know what your boundaries are sexually AND you stick to them. You'll find out damn fast what is really after.

    If someone starts pushing past your boundaries by doing something like undressing you, that is the kind of thing you want to ruin the mood over. You don't need to be rude or aggressive, but you want to pause for a second and make sure that your "No." is clear and understood. There are of course, a bunch of little ways to keep it from going further: wearing clothes that are difficult and time consuming to remove, moving out of their reach or playfully evading them, but all of those send the wrong message. They tell the person "Not right now." or "Come chase me." If those aren't the messages you want to give, then you are best to simply say "No." firmly and with a gentle smile, then go back to what you were doing.

    If your guy has a problem with that, and he lets it ruin the mood or makes an awkward issue about it, that is a good sign that is only after sex.

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    The Question
    I think that it should be required to rate. i know that i've spent time writing and looking things up for people so i can help them and then i dont even get a rating at all. i just started my account so i dont have enough ratings to have the average rating on my column....even though ive answered a lot of questions for people! does anybody else agree that after we give up time to help that the person who gets our advice should take five seconds to give us some credit??

    The Answer
    My advice to you is to not give advice for the ratings.

    I agree with you that it would be wonderful if people would rate, and rate properly! Not giving all fives just 'cause, or handing out ones because they don't like the answer they got. However, that simply isn't going to happen. Not in this universe.

    If we required people to rate, I see one of two things happening: Either constant rating abuse and people complaining about 'unfair' ratings when they are perfectly fair, or questioners trying to make new accounts or asking all questions without accounts in order to avoid having to rate.

    Rationally, I think it would hurt the site, not help it. That is just my opinion.

    Of course if you have an idea on how this could be implemented or run, there is a Make Suggestions link under Miscellaneous and you could send your suggestion to the owner of the site.
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    The Question
    Well, I'm finally heading off to college on August 16th! I'm ecstatic! I'm sharing my dorm with one other person and a bathroom with three other people. Sometime this week, I'm going shopping to get some things I'll need while I'm up there. Here's my list so far of things to get:

    -desk organzing set (i.e. pencil holder, paper rack)
    -mousepad
    -candles
    -hanging lights
    -message board
    -dry erase markers and eraser
    -mini planner
    -destop calendar
    -mini sewing kit
    -garbage bin
    -label maker
    -flip flops for shower
    -sharpies
    -hooks (to hang on bathroom door)
    -paper clips
    -rubber bands
    -scotch tape
    -stapler
    -staples

    Other than bathroom stuff (like soap and a hair dryer) what are some other things I might need? I already have my linens and towels ready to bring up there. I'm also in the process of getting my laptop and a printer. Please, only answer if you've experienced living in a dorm room or are related to someone who has. Thanks!

    The Answer
    I lived in a dorm for a year, and in a student co-op (dorm style, pretty much the exact same thing for three more.) Sooooo. Here is my opinion:

    You don't need all that stuff. You will not have much place to put it. Dorm rooms are small like you can hardly imagine. Try to fit your whole life into a space that is 8 by 11 feet big for four years... What you learn is how to throw stuff out and get rid of what you don't need.

    The desktop calander - A waste of space in my opinion. PLUS frosh will likely give you one for free, or have them dirt cheep at the bookstore. Don't bother packing one.

    The garbage bin - Your room already will have one. It might not be a nice one, but if throw it out, the dorm will charge you for it when you leave. Just use the one that is there.

    The Label maker - Use it the first day you are there, then send it home with your parents. It will take up space and probably get 'borrowed' for six months by the guy down the hall. Use your sharpies and some masking tape. Works just as well, and you can personalize it :)

    Candles - Will VERY likely be against the rules. Probably in the "We will fine you and kick you out" sort of agianst the rules. Bring them at your own risk.

    Also, get yourself a very big, comfy, warm house coat, if you don't already have one, and similar pair of slippers (with nice rubber bottoms! That is uber important!). You almost never want to go barefoot in a dorm, not anywhere, and sometimes you don't want to put on shoes either!

    You also might want a nice (big) bag or plasitc box to carry your tolietries to and from the bathroom.

    Otherwise, your list sounds great! Have fun! And don't worry too much. You have plently of time to get what you need once you are there.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Ok. I am going to use real names because I don't feel the need to hide this.

    I have a friend Taylor. We have been good friends for a while. I also have a best friend Dave.

    Dave and Taylor were together, but not going out. They really liked eachother, understandable right?

    Taylor "broke up" with Dave, then hated him for the last 4 months. For no reason at all, just wouldn't talk to him and made fun on him constantly. Dave hurt for a while, but finally got over it.

    Dave and I have been extremely close ever since we met. Dave and I now are kind of, as you can say, together.

    Ever since Dave and I have been together, Taylor has been trying to talk to Dave again, and asks me ridiculous questions about me and him and what we do. She said that him her and can only be enemies, or lovers. So what does that mean? If she is trying to talk to him, that might mean she wants to be lovers with him.

    She insists she is over him and does not want him, but why is she constantly asking me about it? And flipping out on me about him. I think she still has feelings for him, which is understandable. But she has hated him for 4 months, and Dave would try to talk to her, but she was just such a BITCH to him that he got over her.

    It's not my fault me and him like eachother, we cannot control feelings. I understand where she is coming from because it is her ex, but still, they are over, and she knows it.


    I don't know what to do. I do not what to loose either of them. Taylor is just being very immature about this and said she might as well go hook up with my ex boyfriend Justin, so I would know how it felt.

    Dave and I have been through A LOT together. Like, a mad amount of stupid shit we have done and gotten in trouble for. Taylor seems like it is right to bring those mistakes up to make me sound like a bad person.

    I tried talking to her so many times.
    Now I am thinking I should just end it wtih Dave so this whole thing would stop, no matter how much I don't want to.

    Someone please help me, I really don't know what to do.

    The Answer
    It is not Dave you should be thinking about ending it with. It is not your relationship with Dave that is causing a problem.

    Taylor’s emotional game of “Yes. No. Maybe so.” is designed to do one thing and one thing only: Make this situation all about her. When in fact, it has almost nothing to do with her at all. She has opted out of this whole mess when she dumped him. She doesn’t get to opt back into the drama just because she wants too.

    Cut her out of this situation by no longer talking to her about Dave. If she tries to start up a conversation about him tell her you think the two of you have said everything you can possibly say about the subject and even though you understand she might be hurting, you don’t plan on ending your relationship with either of them.

    It might take some work, but be calm and firm and repeat yourself: “You know where I stand. I have nothing else to say about Dave.” She will try desperately hard to get a rise out of you, so don’t let her. She might have a lot to still say, and you can listen to as much or as little as you want to, but don’t change your message for a second! To everything she has to say the response should be “I understand your feelings, but you already know my decision. I have nothing else to say about it.”

    If she suddenly professes feelings for Dave again, tell her gently and respectfully that that is something she needs to talk to Dave about, not you.

    Ending it with Dave will not change Taylor’s drama fest. It will only redirect it for a bit. I promise you you’ll find yourself just as unhappy with her diva behavior over a whole different situation in a few months, if not weeks, and you will have a lost a guy who might be good for you.

    You’ll also be validating her belief that your love life is all about her.

    A triangle takes three people. Break it off by ending the communication with Taylor that is causing the problem. You can still be friends, although it is true, you will likely never be as close again, but that is at least as much her fault as it ever will be yours.

    Take a deep breath and let her feelings become her problem, instead of yours. You have made your decision: Your decision is to remain her friend and date Dave. The ball is in her court now. She can either learn to live with your decision, or she can butt out.

    This friends don’t date friends exes or crushes is grade school nonsense in my opinion. In the real world not only does it happen, it happens surprisingly often. Of course it hurts. Friendships might weaken or end because of it sometimes, but not always. Mature adults learn how to cope with one another or else come to the conclusion that they can no longer remain friends without clawing each others eyes out and part ways.
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    The Question
    Ok Well a long time aog I knwo the sun was goign to go away and we would all die but that was goign to be way after I die so I guess it's ok but now there's news that we could all die in..i think 2012? Cuz of sun rays?

    Now I'm scared and going crazy with WHAT IF..

    Like the little children! So many of my relatives has little babies and now..omg I'm just so scared and going crazy.. and thinking stuff liek will it be a quick death or a slow death where we'll all burn?

    Please help me I don't know how yet I can't even type all the things I'm feeling!

    The Answer
    I assume you are getting this from the Maya predictions of end of the age of the 5th Sun. The end of the 5th Sun is a date figured out by Mayan astrologers ages ago and has to do with the movement of Venus through the sky. Other cultures were always watching the sky, so they came up with similar signifigant dates. So the Mayan calendar is ending, and then it enters a new epoch, just the same as our calendar changing from 2004 to 2005. Their epoch is just waaaaay longer then our year.

    So is the world going to end? Well, that isn't what the Maya predicted at all. Big Changes, sure. When you have a calendar that spans thousands of years you can see a lot of big changes. But Big Death, not so much.

    Interestingly, it will happen at the same time as the next peak in solar sunspots does. So what does that mean? Not too much. The sun will over heat temporally and the last time that happened, in the 1960's, there was actually less natural disasters like earthquakes and eruptions then normal.

    You might also have heard that the magnetic field around the earth is going to stop, fail, flip upside down, fail, whatever, causing us all to die. Absolutely freaking nonsense. The magnetic poles shift a bit regularly, with limited effect on the planet as a whole. Our magnetic field remains strong and protects us. There are theories that they once 'flipped' and south became north, once before, but the time of that supposed 'flip' doesn't even coincide with any major ecological disaster, just the normal extinction rates that go along with normal climate changes.

    Do you remember all the fuss people made about the world ending in 1999, and then the fuss again in 2000 and 2001 (because there is no year 0 right?) or all the bull shit about Y2K?

    I'm decided that the powers that be probably aren't so big into numerology. Besides, if we are all going to die, while there aint a damn thing you can do about it. So relax!



    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    when a guy is in a friend's with benefits relationship do they have absolutely no emotional attachment to the girl or do they normally like them a little. also what about girls? do most girls get a little emotionally attached in a friends with benefits relationship? i just broke up with my friend with benefits i guess you would call it and i told him it would be hard not being with him even if it was just for sex, and he said he thought it would be easy not being together because there were no emotions involved. i was shocked that he felt absolutely nothing...then i remembered he had a dick and was just another guy. so what do you guys think...is it normal to have some emotional attachment?

    The Answer
    A friends with benefit’s relationship is still a 'relationship' and a friendship. Sound like the guy you were seeing is still too immature to realize that. Avoid a guy who claims to have sex without emotion, the sex likely wont be that good, and it's a sure bet he wont be able to handle the relationship with decency and respect if he doesn't acknowledge that it is a kind of relationship.

    People, yes even guys, who don’t form any emotional attachment to people they choose to have sex with, are in my opinion, not only abnormal, but pretty lousy individuals who are likely lying to themselves.

    An FWB relationship may certainly be easier to get over then a romantic relationship. But I would believe him for a second if he claimed to feel nothing at all. If my FWB said that to me I’d write it off as an extremely immature mindset and I’d dump them.
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    The Question
    In religious classes my teacher mentioned this theory or whatever that Catholics are supposed to use that the popes or some other highly-positioned people created... since Catholics aren't supposed to use any form of birth control, so we wont have to kill a human life, there are certain days youre supposed to have sex to avoid pregnency... whats this called?

    The Answer

    This is not a 'Catholic Theory' per say, but a basic medical fact that women aren’t always fertile. This has been practiced by women for millenniums and as your teacher told you, it is the ONLY contraceptive measure to be endorsed by the Catholic Pope.

    A woman's cycle is just that, a cycle. So on different days, different parts of the cycle will take place. Women have days when they are more likely, and days when they are less likely to become pregnant.

    It's is generally called the Fertility Awareness Method and it is claimed to be, at the very, very best, 85% effective.

    Check out the details here on which days a women is more or less likely to concieve, and how she can tell: http://www.uottawa.ca/health/information/contraception-natural.html
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    The Question
    ok, here's my situation. my family is pretty well-off, and i have everything i could ever ask for. my boyfriend's family is about the same, but they're a family of four and we're a family of five, so money goes through us faster than them (my little sister is ten years younger, at seven. you know how that goes).

    even though i know we have money, i always feel awful and spoiled asking for it. even if it's just a ten or twenty for a night out. especially right now, since we're going on vacation in a few weeks and we're remodeling most of our house. i always just have a feeling of guilt. since it's summer and i have even more free time to hangout with the boyfriend and my girls, i need more money and therefore, have to ask for it. i was going to get a job, but i play soccer during summer into fall and it just wouldn't work. although, that is still an option if need be.

    is there anything i do to either prevent my guilt, or should i just get a job and ask for minimum hours, or what? any help is appreciated.

    The Answer
    Getting a part-time job would solve your problem, but if you don't *need* to work and your have other obligations it might not be the best idea.

    Perhaps instead, you could ask your parents for an allowance. That way, it's understood how much money you get each week or month, and when it runs out, it runs out. That means your parents will always know in advance how much money they will be giving you, can plan for it, and you will have to choose how to spend it. Getting a set amount of money will probably remove some of guilt of having to go to them each time you need something and it put less stress on both your parents (who don't want to say no) and you (who has to live in fear of them saying no).
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    The Question
    so im reading this book in which the main character says she has a "unique liking" for the smell of her vagina, specially in the time of her menstruation. its not a dirty book, but this kind of intrigues me. i know that's way past unsanitary, but could she be mental too?? what do you guys think?

    The Answer
    What is so unsanitary about liking her own scent? Unless there is something more to it then that I doubt there is a single thing unsanitary, or wrong with her mentally, about it.

    I like the smell of manure and the exhaust fumes from trucks. I grew up around those smells, so they are familiar and comforting to me. Unless there is something you aren't mentioning, there is no reason to take her liking that smell in a sexual way.
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    The Question
    okay, you're probably going to think i'm crazy. but when i was little...this was probably mid-90s...i watched this video all the time. my mom gave it away, and i'd love to buy it again. i will give you the description, and if you can tell me what the name of the video is, it will be greatly appreciated!

    the video was about a family of bears. the first scene was a schoolyard during recess, where they are singing the alphabet. i believe that the little girl bear's boyfriend then walks her to class. at one point in the video, they go to work with their dad and sing "this is the house that jack built". later, they go on a picnic and sing the song "the ants came marching 1 by 1". at some point, they sing "lavender blue (dilly dilly)". and the last song i can remember is sung when mama and papa bear are putting the bears to bed. the song "sandman" is sung. i believe that is an old german nursery rhyme.

    i know that i probably sound crazy right now, but that video did exist at one point. i will rate a five to anyone who can give me the correct title. if you need any more information, please let me know. thank you so much in advance!

    The Answer
    I did a bit of looking, and came up with nothing. I'll suggest to you though, that you give this a try:

    http://us.imdb.com/list

    That is the international movie database advanced search. Hopefully you can recall enough to bring something up.

    Good Luck.
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    The Question
    I started liking my crush 4 years ago (almost) he was my first summer love, year 2003. We had an 8 week fling and I havn't seen him since. I've done a lot to get ready for this summer when I THOUGHT Id finally see him again, but now I found out he might be going off to university early, and that I might not see him this summer. I'm so scared of that happening, I need to see him - if I don't - I might be holding on to this silly crush forever. I need to see him so something can happen, we can fall in love, or fall apart - anything! As long as something happens - I can move on in some way, I can do something, make a decsion. I will not be able to do that without seeing him. I've tried getting him out of my heard for a ong time, but its hard since we left things so perfect! If we'd just have a fight I could get over him. I know what you're thinking *what if it ends perfect this year too?* But the thing is - I'm planning on asking him out this year - so if he says no, it'll b easier to get over him. If he says yes - we'll go steady and I won't need to get over him.

    So what do I do if I don't see him? Has anyone been through this before? What did you do to get over someone when the chapter wasn't even finished yet?

    There are all these articles about how to get over someone - think about his negative sides, spend some time apart etc etc etc.. but we left things PERFECT - im still in love so there are no negative sides for me! And we're apart all the time! HELP!! (Thanks!)

    The Answer

    Life often doesn't come with large bold letters say THE END or CHAPTER 2.

    Life stops and starts unexpectedly. Some things you wait your whole life for, may never happen. You are left wondering. Everyone's life is full of 'what if's'. I am twenty-two and I still remember my 'what-if' crush from when I was fourteen, and I remember them fondly, even though nothing ever did, and probably never will happen. You'll be very miserable if you think everything should have a tidy ending like in movies and books. Throw that idea away; it will only make your miserable.

    In fact, it is making you miserable.

    Relationships that never actually happened are, BY FAR the hardest to get over. Because you are absolutely right, love evolves, but it starts as infatuation and infatuation knows no faults. When you are still infatuated, the person you like seems perfect. You have to get to know them better for you to realize they aren't.

    So my advice to you: Pick up the phone! Call this boy even if you have to pay out the nose for the calls. E-mail him. Tell him and show him now how you feel RIGHT NOW! Waiting to see him in person is an EXCUSE! Stop stalling. You are stressed because the way you are currently dealing with this, you could be stalling forever. You want a chapter to start. Start it right now, some way, anyway, even if you need to send snail mail to communicate. DO IT!

    You'll feel better if you take some control and stop leaving it all to fate. You'll be taking control of your life, and that is something you MUST do in order to be with him, and also something you'll need to do to get over him.

    Grab the bull by the horns for goodness sake, or else just accept that sitting home and wondering and whining is all you are prepared to do.
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    The Question
    on the main screen of your computer you have liek an image or picture of somthing... well does anyone have a website that has like pictures of bands that are big enough to fit the whole screen without stretching.... like a website that is made for desktop pitures???

    when i googled it all it came up with is samll pictures


    i really what band pictures

    THANKS

    The Answer
    Search googles for "WhateverBand wallpapers"

    Pictures that are large enough to fill the screen are generally called wallpapers.

    You can also use google's Advanced Image Search right here: http://images.google.ca/advanced_image_search?hl=en

    Where is says size, choose large. That way your search will only bring up big pictures, and filter out the small ones.
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    The Question
    i had sex wit my boyfriend but he didnt come inside me can i still get pregnant if he didnt come inside of me. does precum get u pregnant? please reply only if ur sure! thnx

    The Answer
    Pre-cum contains sperm. So yes, you can get pregnant even if he doesn't ejaculate inside you. Cum or pre-cum close, or inside your vaginal opening can cause pregnancy.

    Try to relax. Just because you *could* maybe be pregnant, doesn't mean you are. Try to stay calm and wait for your period. Obviously, use protection next time!
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    The Question

    I'm 20 and my sister is 19. Our parents have passed away long time ago and we're just living together in our small flat.

    Anyway, I didn't yell or say any single word and I just shutted the door slowly... I realize at our age it's very normal for us to have such healthy sex drive (But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a bit worried and angry to see my sister doing "that" in our very own flat!)... I also have sex with my girlfriend and she knows that also... do you think this is a way of revenge? What would YOU do?

    The Answer
    I would get over it.

    You enjoy having sex with your girlfriend right? There in nothing about that that should make your sister angry or worried right?

    No, of course there isn't.

    There is nothing about masturbation that should make you angry or worried about her. It's normal, it's healthy, it's perfectly fine.

    She isn't out for revenge. Don't be so vain. Her choice to do this has NOTHING to do with you. I promise. She probably just enjoys it. Just as you enjoy your time with your girlfriend. You aren't sleeping with her to piss anyone else off are you? You are just doing it because you choose too, and enjoy it.

    It's her home too, and your judgement of her because of this, although understandable, is unfair.

    You might suggest she get a lock for her door to protect her privacy. In my appartment with several twenty year olds we have a firm rule of "No sex in the kicthen!" which sounds silly, but it is good to set these bounderies. Other then that, get over it! You have absolutely NOTHING to be angry or worried about.
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    The Question
    i've been really undecided about college lately. i've been stuck between about 5 colleges. one of them happens to be in a city called Statesboro. i don't live anywhere near statesboro.

    i went to the gas station today and a man was looking at my shirt. i thought he said something so i said "hm?" and he said "oh, i thought your shirt said Statesboro". i thought that was the weirdest thing! it's not like i live close to the city at all, it's about 5 hours away! and someone thought my shirt said that! is that a sign that i should go to the college in statesboro?

    The Answer
    More like a sign that you a bit obsessed with this decision, which is understandable, since it's a big one.

    If you spend your time looking for signs, you'll always find them.

    Spend you mental energy weighting the pros and cons of each school instead. Destiny is something you figure out on your own, it evolves as you make your choices in life. It's not set in stone the day you are born and fate is rarely revealed at gas stations... not never, just rarely.
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