(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
Ok, so me and this kid, adam, had a "thing" a couple months ago. And then stuff happened, and we stopped talking. I started talking to him again last night, but right now, he has a girlfriend. When we were talking, he kind of acted like he didnt have a girlfriend. Like he kept telling me that i'm cute and how he missed talking to me, and then we talked about things we talked about or did before. And he sent me a couple recent pictures of him because i havent seen him in a couple months. I have no intentions of getting with him while he has a girlfriend, because i'm totally against cheating, but is flirting with him and that wrong while he has a girlfriend?
I brought it up to him that i felt weird talking to him like that while he has a girlfriend, and he was just like well as long as both of us know our limits, its fine. We're not doing anything, we're just talking. After we talked about him having a girlfriend and that, alls he said was "i dont know. blahhh." and i asked him what was so blah, but he wouldnt tell me. Any thougts on what he could have ment? I know it wasnt about his girlfriend, so could it have ment like he misses talking to me like that? I have no clue. Any thought would be great
thanks!
The Answer
If you think cheating is wrong, I'm surprised you need help with this: If cheating is wrong, then flirting with him is certainly not a great idea.
It might make him thinking cheating *is* okay (sure, your words say no, but everything else says yes, yes, yes.) If you aren't that kind of person, stop giving that impression. Pushing those 'limits' is a good way to land yourself with a cheating boyfriend in the future AND you are both pushing those limits! You are consciously trying to get him, and keep him, interested and he's doing the same too you with that whole 'Please ask me why my relationship is 'blah'' nonsense.
He is interested in you and you are interested in him. That's okay, people always have crushes, but right now you are playing a dangerous and irresponsible game with this crush.
Scale back on the lovey-dovey talk and let this guy deal with his girl first and foremost. Anything else is unfair to you, and agianst your principals, right?
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
what are the chances of me gettings pregnant if i had sex with a condom that had alot of room at the top, and it ended up having a rip in it. My boyfriend was going off while coming out, and i took the plan b morning after pill 30 min after it happened. If the last time i took the pill was the 31 could i still be having problems from it? even if it was the first time i took it? thanks
ps im not on birthcontrol.
The Answer
If you took Plan B properly it is 95% effective in the first 24 hours. So you are as protected as you can possibly be.
You shouldn't still be experiencing problems from taking plan B. The pill should be out of your system by now. BUT if it's close to your next period and you are experiencing intense cramping, then you should call a doctor. Ditto for nausea or migraines.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm having trouble finding a shampoo/conditioner for color treated hair. I have these 5 brands down for thoughts pantene,fructis,sunsilk,herbal essences,dove. for color treated hair. If anyone has used those, please tell me your reviews on them or on any other color treated product you have used. please nothing expensive like salon things i just want store prices. thanks
The Answer
I like and use Herbal Essence the most, however, once or twice a year I splurge a bit and purchase Redken shampoo and conditioners for color treated it hair. Redken is by far the best thing I've ever used. Sometimes you can find it at drug stores, but mostly it's found at salons. It's a bit more expensive then the normal stuff, but not too much and completely worth it in my opinion.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
13/Female
I have a "friend” Samantha. We have a good past except sometimes over the last few years she has treated me bad. Ecample: Brenda ( a friend of ours) got mad at me and she became BFF with Brenda
The other day Samantha took me off her top 8 on myspace when she had all her other friends on her top 8. She has called me a biotch sevaral times now to the point where its not even in a lovingly or jockingly way
Well a few days ago on MySpace Samantha commented me and said "Hey Biotch "
Should I respond ? I think she knows I'm kind of upset with her. If I respond what should I say? Why do you think I should or shouldnt respond? I strongly believe that you should always keep a steady relationship with someone in case you need them in your future 1 day. But Im douting whether or not to respond nicely
Something I could say would be like "Hey" - keep it simple and short. Nothing more if I respond to her unless reccomended by Advicenators
Thanks for your help
The Answer
I think you have it right. Respond, because that's the civil thing to do but keep it simple and straight forward. Assume the best for the time being. She hasn't attacked you, and you don't want to be percieved as the person throwing the first punch.
Leave it at "Hey" and don't add any follow-up questions like "How are ya?" or anything like that if you don't really want to hear from her.
You don't seem to feel you have any reason to pick a fight with her, so don't bother and don't leave her an opening.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
what are the chances of becoming pregnant if you're on birth control AND you use a condom? does using two condoms help prevent pregnancies better than one condom?
The Answer
NEVER use two condoms at once. That makes it even more likely for the condoms to break, the friction between them tears them open! They are not made to be used that way.
Condoms, when used correctly, are about 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. Most birth control pills are between 99.5% and 99.8% effective when used correctly. So using both forms makes the pregnancy risk amazingly small.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
So in Australia in year 10 we have this thing called 'Work Expierience' you do I think 1-2 weeks of work at a proper workplace.
Most people just work in fast food/supermarket or with their parents but I want to do something different.
When I'm older I'd love to work as a journalist or in television so where do you think I should apply to work? You have to remember if I applied at like...a TV station or something they would get thousands of other people applying.
I still have a year and a bit until I do it, but I wanted to think ahead.
The Answer
Your best bet, if you haven't got any connections in the news world yourself, is to talk to teachers or guidance counselors and seeing if anyone else in the previous years has managed to do their weeks someplace that would interest you. They might have some places for you to contact who have taken students before.
Other people are probably your best bet to find something but also check out, even e-mail or call, local news agencies and papers. Even if you can’t do your two weeks, maybe you can at least score yourself a tour or an interview with someone.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
this is a complicated situation, and goes for a while but please any advice is greatly appriciated.
I've known this guy for a while now, and originally we were only just mates. We used to hang out a fair bit & chat pretty often. I never thought of him as someone that i could have any potential feelings for and those kind of thoughts never crossed my mind. Reflecting back on it i guess we used to flirt a fair bit, but i never really thought about it in that way.
Then out of no where one night we kissed, he made all the moves and kind of just came on really strong. I didnt bother me but it was just really unexpected and weird. I realised after i had kissed him the first time that i actualy kinda did have a thing for him. My best friend said she saw it coming a mile away. Ever sinse then we started kissing on a regular basis, except for the fact that he was uneasy about the differences in our age, him being 20 and me being 16. I know that sounds like its such a big gap, but it really doesnt feel like that and we get along really well.
The more i saw of this boy, the more and more intrested i became in him, and im never one to develop feelings for people, or put myself in a position to be hurt, but with him everything seemed different.
I go to an all girls private school, and everything at my school gets blown about 100 times out of proportion. As soon as i started seeing this guy all the girls at my school seemed suddenly really interested in him, talking about him alot in front of me, and going out of their way to catch up with him & see him.
It never really bothered me until they started saying things to him about me, just that i was "super keen" and that i seemed to really like him.
One night when all of the girls were at a party and he was there too, and i couldnt make it for some reason, he was apparently "all over" a girl in my friendship circle. Nothing happened apparently, but even now its still a bit of a grey area. The next day i had my 2 best mates ringing me up telling me about how dodgy the whole situation had looked & how this girl had been saying she wanted to kiss the boy id been with. I was a bit annoyed aboutt he whole thing, but thort it wait until i spoke to the boy before i said anything to anyone, kinda just to hear both sides of the story.
When i approached the situation with the boy he got all defensive, telling me that hes been friends with girls all his life, and hes not gonna change the way he interacts with them because of my insecurities. He bascially flipped his lid at me and told me that i needed to not listen to anything that "my stupid friends" told me because they were obviously over exagerating. i let it all slide but later that day he sent me a really indepth text msg telling me that maybe we should just be friends until "those around us" settle down and stop causing trouble.
i took the news really hard, and struggeled heaps to get over him. I didnt really no what id done wrong because everything seemed to be going so well. We decided to just be friends and he thort that i was fine with that, but i was really upset and had alot of trouble seeing him in social situations. All of my friends new how hard id took it and were really good about the whole thing. I was eventually getting over him when i saw him one night out in town (nightclub) i felt so confident around him and didnt even get the whole butterfly in the stomach feeling. I kissed another really nice boy that night and thort that it was the last id have to worry about the first guy. The next day i started getting attention off him again, him sending me txt msgs telling me how great i looked the night before and that he hopse i had an ok night etc.
from there onwards we have been talking heaps as i presumed as just good friends like we usd to be before the whole "fling" happened.
The other night he invited me over to his house to watch a movie and hang out I went around with no intentions, but he ended up kissing me. I knew the whole time that it was happeneing that it was the wrong thing and i shouldnt be putting myself in the situation i was in but i couldnt help it. The next day he sent me a msg telling me that his mum had liked seeing me again, and thort i looked as "stunning as ever" and that he was sorry if he came on too strong, he just couldnt resist.
The weekend after he aledgedly spent the night with the girl who had tried to kiss him ages ago (the one that was all over him the night i wasnt there) and naturally my school made the rumours about 100 times worse. I felt really hurt and used seeing as he had kissed me only a couple of days earlier and had been calling me and msging me all week. I came the conclusion that he was just playing me and to steer clear, but that night he came over to my house pleading me to understand that it wasnt true and that he would never do that to me.. making out like i had some reason to be mad, like we had been something serious or something. I accepted his apology and sinse then we have basically been kissing regulary again, but this time more secretive so less people will get involved and talk about it.
I dont no whether he has any real feelings for me or if hes just going to play me all over again, but i dont really no what to do about getting an answer to this whole situation. I know that if i want to protect myself i should just steer clear all together, but i have such strong feelings for him i am just hoping that this time he treats me a bit better and understands what i want. i really dont no what to do!
sorry this has been so long, but i just thort it would be easier to explain everything this way!!
please help me, would be much appriciated, i will rate highly for any attempt!!
regards,
steph x
The Answer
Stop worrying about him playing you all over again: He is probably playing you right now.
The secretiveness, the guilting you, the grand apology that implies so much more then he has ever actually said, all of this perfectly engineered to keep you holding on without actually giving you any real promises or actual relationship status.
Right now he is keeping everything you do very no strings attached PLUS he is keeping it on the down low to 'avoid rumors'. Well, rumors only exist when people think there is someone worth telling. If they think he is nothing to you, people are less likely to tell you if/when he fools around.
He isn't trying to take it slow, he trying to keep you in the dark about his behavior.
If you want anything more from a romance then causal hook ups then this is probably not the guy.
Trust your gut.
It is screaming at you that this guy is not on the level. Maybe he really didn't do anything wrong, but your heart is telling you he isn't trustworthy and he isn’t a good match for you.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I DONT UNDERSTAND..!
Im 15, female and a virgin
My last bf dumped me party because i told him that he cant just expect sex from a virgin after a month of seeing each other..
so he saw he wasnt going to get any anytime soon
cept i was thinking about it..like If he had waited i would have, even if it was just a week
And now i fel like Im ready for sex, infact almost desperate for it [?!]
BUT.. I cant think of anyone that I would rather start with than him.. I think about it everynight like 'Oh i could be with him right now' but I think i know that I dont proper LOVE him
And well we were at a beach party together the other week, and after about 5 weeks of not speaking a word to him we were sitting together like old times, BUT i had to go to my friends birthday party at 10pm , soon after i was sat with him, and well i was a bit drunk but he hadnt touched a drop, but we kissed.. I was soo happy i was lik flying, because i never thought it would happen again.
Anyway, the point is that If Id have stayed at the beach party i would probably, definately not be a virgin in the morning, which Im still trying to decide is a good thing or not, because most of my friends are saying that it was just a one-off, and it would have been a one-night stand..which could be true, and also a bit crap for my first time having sex..
But a tiny part of me is saying that we would have made up and would be going out again, and sex was just the fun part of it..
And now i look at every boy as a potential to lose my V with..
I dont understand..why do i feel like this? and him ? and why do i want sex ?
thankyou xx
The Answer
First off, do yourself a favor and try to forget about this guy. After years of sleeping with guys/dating them/one-night standing I can tell you this with 100% certainty: SEX DOESN'T FIX ANYTHING.
If you two had some other problems when you were together and not having sex, those problems will only be a thousand times worse if you get back together and do have sex. It might take a little while to show up, but it will. Get back with him just because you wanna fuck him and I give you guys 6 months. Max.
Deep down it sounds like you know that it's not really going to work out with this guy and that sleeping with him would probably be just a one-night thing, or cause a very short back-together phases that would fizzle out really quick.
As for the wanting sex, that is completely normal, but you have decide HOW you want sex. Do you want a one-night stand with someone who is attractive to you, but probably doesn't know you or care deeply? If you do, fine, go for it! (Just not with your ex! Please!) If what you want is a romantic expression of feeling with someone you care deeply about, you are just going to have to exercise some will power, get your hormones in check hun and wait.
There are no two ways about it. It's entirely up to you to decide how you want manage your sex life, just use protection whatever you choose.
Once more: Do not sleep with your ex! It might seem like he’s the most obvious choice but it will cause you intense and pointless pain! I can guarantee it. Don’t do it!
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
An aqauintance told me that 2 of my really good friends are dating behind my back, both of these friends are male therefore they are gay. I have absolutely NO problem with that but why wouldn't they tell me they were dating? I would've been really happy for them, now I am just hurt because they kept something like that from me. So, are they still my friends? And why wouldn't they tell me?
The Answer
'My' and 'me' are the words you keep using here hun, and the problem with that is that their relationship and their sexual preferences have absolutely NOTHING to do with you.
Don't take it so personally. If you really do have 'NO problem' with it show that by respecting their choice not to go public with their relationship just yet. Often it's the people whose opinions matter the most who find out last. They are the most risky to tell.
So stop worrying about what this means about you, and start to respect what it might mean to them. If there is something going on, let them come to you when they are comfortable, then you can all have a good friendly laugh about it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok im 15 1/2 almost 16
and my bf is 18
i want to have sex with him because i love him and trust him
and i know all the consequences
but because he is 18 he doesnt want to have sex because it is "illegal"
is that right .
can someone please help me
i have been with him for 3 years and i love him with all my heart and i just think it is about time for sex . but is there really a low about age and sex ?
i hear something aobut 5 year difference
but i just want the truth
The Answer
Yes there are many laws agianst sexual activity for those who are below the Age of Consent. That is the age at which the goverment says you are old enough to willing choose to have sex.
The law varies from state to state, so without knowing percisely where you live I can't give you excact details about how the Age of Consent will effect you and your boyfriend. However, in many states, he might get in some trouble for having sex with you before you turn 16.
Waiting until you have turned sixteen would probably make anything you two choose to do legal, but you really need to know your state laws to be sure.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Two of my best friends really don't get together well. Say their names are Kerry and Lucy. Kerry is spoiled. She gets everything she wants. I don't care about that though. She's still a great friend. Lucy does care about that though. They both got the same thing for Christmas. An Ipod Nano. From Kerry the story is that her parents told Lucy's parnets what they were getting Kerry for Christmas. Thats not what Lucy says though. Who should I believe? HELP!!!!!
The Answer
Who cares?!
How did these girls make something that happened some 6 months ago an issue NOW?
If they are giving you nonesene about who to believe all you need to tell them is: "I don't care what happened and I don't care what you guys believe. I don't matter a rats ass to me."
And it shouldn't.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
15/m
Okay so I'm bulimic.
Please dont tell me that it will hurt me,
and to not do it.
Its my choice.
I take meds for my acid reflex (for the throat erosion caused by the stomach acid.), and im getting procelain venieers, and I brush my teeth after I do it every time (about 3x a day.)
Anyway is it easier to throw up if you let your food kinda dissolve in your stomach after you eat it. Like wait an hour or two then throw up.
I drink lots of water before I do it.
Helpful advice would be apperiated.
Thanks.
XCody*X
The Answer
I can see you are a regular user of this site so you know you will get plenty of helpful advice here. Let me be the first:
STOP IT YOU FOOL!
What you are doing will kill you.
Throat erosion is only the beginning. I'm certain your doctor has informed you of this, but you now run the risk of having your esophagus tear or rupture when you vomit. What a charming way to die that will be, suffocated by your own vomit. You'll be such a wonderfully thin corpse.
Your 'choice' is an illness and to continue to choose is selfish and suicidal.
No one here will help you kill yourself. See a doctor if you value your life or the hearts of those who love you.
EDIT in response to feedback:
Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder. Eating disorders are illnessnes, normally psychological conditions. Like depression, or alcholism, they might not seem like cancer or the flu, but they mean something is very wrong with the way that you think if you are willing, and even happy, to behave in a self destructive way.
That is why eating disorders are treated with therapy. Your body isn't sick (except for what is happening as you try to kill it) it is your mind that is ill, and desperately needs treatment.
Seek out help. Soon. If your throat is erroding PELASE ASK FOR HELP! That is a serious condition to be in. I am not kidding AT ALL about it killing you.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
theres this girl called sally who keeps stealing boys of people i no its pathetic but it soo annoying!
Theres this boy sam who i really like and we were getting really close the first time i met him then she came along and he moved onto her and because she flirts so much he believes she likes him and i like him ALOT! But shes just stringing him along as she usually does with boys.. i realy dont no what to do .. but hes coming to the beach tomorrow with his friend and im not sure hw to react and to be around him?
The Answer
Be yourself and do anything you'd like to do.
Boys don't get 'stolen'. Boys leave.
Don't blame the other girl. She is just going after what she wants and it doesn't matter if she is flakey or irresponsible, that is still just what she feels like doing.
So you do the same thing. Go after what you want. Behave in a way that you think is appropriate and enjoyable.
Ignore her. If he goes for her. Then wish them both luck. They'll probably need it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
So I've been dating this boy for a good 8 months.. It would've been 9 if he had waited a couple of days. And I think it's lame to ask questions on here, no offense, but I'm desperate. There's so much to the story, but to sum it all up, he broke up with me for another girl. I think he wants to go back out in the future.. And he said he couldn't be with me if he liked someone else. And I don't know, it's just so hard. I've been crying and crying because it took this breakup to realize that I was actually in love with him. And up until recently, he was too.
How do you get over someone you loved SO much? I don't even feel like getting out of the house and I don't wanna meet new people. I just want him back =/
The Answer
Give it time.
The truth is you DO get over someone, even if you loved them, even if you ALWAYS love them. You still manage to move on. It just takes time.
In a few weeks, or maybe months, you will realize something else besides the fact that you loved him: You will realize that he was immature, made a lame excuse and wasn't offering you the kind of love you really deserve.
Seriously. The truth is EVERYONE in a relationship has crushes on other people some time. When that happens you have to CHOOSE to stay with your partner or to leave. He choose to leave.
So go ahead, cry it out, mope around at home, feel down on yourself, just keep telling yourself it wont last forever. It wont.
Do yourself one more favor, maybe not today or tommorrow, but tell yourself not to date him agian. He decided to choose someone else over you once, he'll do it agian.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
does anyone know what ramen is?
not the noodles...
idk but NOT the noodles
kthanksbye
The Answer
I know of no other defination of Ramen except the noodles.
UNLESS, you are reading the Ender Game series of science fiction novels, in which case it's a kind of alien life form who are capable of communication and coexistence with humanity...
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
15/f. i turned 16 in september so my parents tell me that i need to get a job. ok i'm fine with getting a job and i am planning on working at the same place that my older sister works. they have really good, flexible hours and they pay well. but the only problem is that my parents go away every weekend (fri to sun) so i wouldn't have a ride to and from work on weekends. and my parents told me that i would have to walk.
the thing is that i REALLY REALLY don't want to have to walk to work. its a 20 minutes walk and i would have to cross a major street. it scares me to have to walk this alone and cross that road.
so what do i do? i would have to walk to work on weekends until i can get my license which wouldn't be until late march. so what do i do?
The Answer
Ride a bike? Catch a ride? Take a bus? Pay for a cab ride?
Or, you could learn to walk. If it makes you so nervous maybe you could get a family member or a friend to walk with you a few times for practice.
Remember that millions of people walk to work or school and it's healthy, better for the enviroment, and pretty safe. Your stress is understandble, but totally unfounded. With a bit of work I'm sure this is something you could get past.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
how do you know if a guy wants to makeout with you or if he just wants to kiss you regularaly (like just an open mouth kiss)?
and don't just tell me to kiss him and see what he does.
thanks!
The Answer
Well, since you don't want us to tell you the truth... Here is a fantastic fictional way to tell:
Guys who want to make out with you will blink twice, click their heals and say "Gawba, gawba, tilly!" Or, if they are most sophisticated they might present you with a formal Offer of Contractual Prolonged Lip to Lip Contact of the Affectionate and/or Sexual Variety.
Or, ya know, you could just straight out ask the guy what he wants to do, but don't my ways sound like more fun?
You might get an idea of what a guy wants to do if you know what he has done is the past but there is absolutely NO way to 'tell' besides waiting and seeing what happens, or asking.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Recently iv been having a really shitty time, Im 15.
Over the last few weeks i have had an abortion, one ofmy best friends has died, my parents have been arguing, my two best friends have drifted away from me and stopped speaking to me, and iv been feeling the lowest iv ever felt.
I didnt think that the abortion had really affected me mentally until recently.
But iv got it into my head that my friends death was somehow my punishment for having an abortion.
i know this is probably irrational and im normally quite a rational person buti canrt stop thinking it.
I feel really alone and now rarely leave teh house, and when i do, i just get really wrecked smokign drugs and drinkng spirits.
I cry all the time and cant stop myself.
i just feel so shitty and cant find any joy in doing anything.
I dont know what to do to sort myself out
im so confused.
if anyone can give me any advice that would help so much
thanks
xxxx
The Answer
Horrible things have happened in your life. It's normal, natural and completely human for you to feel horrible.
Sometimes a bit of depression is actually the only rational way to respond to what is going on in your life! It sounds like right now you have a lot of very genuine and real pain to work through. Don't beat yourself up because you are hurting. Its okay to hurt and it's okay to be confused. What has been happening to you lately is probably one of the most hurtful and confusing things you will ever have to experience.
Keep your grasp on reality. If you know some of the thoughts you are having aren't rational, then you are actually in a good place mentally, even though it doesn't feel that way at all. That means you are here with us, all us other people in this world, experiencing the world with us. Keep examine your thoughts and looking at reality around us. If you loose that connection you'll loose everything worth having. If you can hold on it, youâ??ll find your way back to happiness again.
You sound smart enough to know that the drugs and drinks can't really help. They will only prolong the suffering and ruin the best thing you have going for you: A brilliant and caring mind.
Find someone you can talk to. Not necessarily someone with great advice, but someone who will listen. A teacher, a counselor, a relative, a parent, anyone you feel you can really open up to and give yourself that opportunity to work through your thoughts and feelings out loud. Write them down. Keep track of what makes sense and what doesnâ??t. Write down what you want for your future and for the people you love.
Keep your eyes open. Keep thinking and looking forward. Think of life as a path that your feet have already been set too, now all you can do it walk it. Don't stop. Keep going. Itâ??s worth it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Last night I attended a local theatrical production and encountered a first-time situation for which no one had a solution.
The problem is that this is an intimate theatre with only about 60 seats: no one would be further from the stage, or any other patron, than about 25 feet.
One of the patrons had an incredibly strong odor about her person. This was not just one's run-of-the-mill body, tobacco, or food odor, but was
akin to a mix of human body odor, skunk, stockyard, and cat urine. The odor was overwhelming to the entire theatre, there was no safe haven.
No one wanted to be seated anywhere near this patron. The cast as well as everyone in the audience (except the offender) was visibly irritated and suffering.
Is there any proper way to address this situation? As a patron should I have made a comment? Should the management of the theatre have taken any action?
What could be done in the future if this patron returns?
Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
(contact info removed, please don't identify yourself in questions.)
The Answer
Sadly, most theatres don't have any sort of 'official' policy on dealing with such an issue, beyond kindly reminding people, either in their literature or through signage to avoid perfume or other intense scents. Typically, this issue is dealt on a case by case basis, and patrons who are disturbed enough by an odor are simply moved into separate seats... As you pointed out, in a small space like this that wouldn't have been possible.
In defense of the theatre: The *right* person likely didn't know just how much of a problem this was. There is, out of necessity, minimal communication between the inside of the theatre, and the lobby. Actors can be fantastically focused during a performance, and likely would not have raised a stink to their backstage manager until after the performance.
So yes, as a patron you can most certainly, and should most certainly speak up. Not to the person in question of course, but to someone called the Front of House Manager. They are in charge of the lobby and the audience and responsible for your safety and comfort during the show. However, because of safety responsibilities the FOH is rarely inside the seating area during the performance. They are in lobby. This is the person who it would fall to to remove an offensive patron.
So it falls to the ushers and to you the patrons to express your needs to the FOH Manager. In a case like this, the manager would have the power, and often the unpleasant responsibility of removing the patron BUT ONLY at a suitable break in the performance.
If there was no intermission or other suitable break during this performance, it’s pretty likely the FOH Manager wouldn’t be able to do anything.
The Show Must Go On is a very powerful phrase and a FOH will not stop a show unless there is an emergency OR if the back stage manger halts the show (which as I said, is unlikely, as 99% of actors might groan a bit, but probably wouldn't make their full discomfort known until after they have dispatched their roles.)
In the future, ask for the Front of House Manager during an intermission, or even before the show. They might not always be able to remove the patron (some FOH's are more comfortable with this responsibilty and more ready to use it when needed then others, it really is the most difficult one they have. Evacuations are simple by comparison.) If there is no intermission, and the problem wasn’t caught before the performance began, it’s almost impossible to address.
As for what to do now, it would certainly be a good idea to give the theatre a call and make your discomfort known. Another voice will help keep the FOH’s eyes open for this person in the future and will give them more impetus and power to act if the same problem comes up again. Don't get too upset if they act as though they are already aware. They probably are quite aware, but it doesn't hurt to give people in customer service another gentle prod.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Does anyone know if a minor having sex with another minor is illegal in Georgia? I always thought it was okay if both persons were under 18. But some friends recently told me it is illegal to have sex and much less buy condoms if you are under 18 in the state of Georgia.
Any web links or direct answers are appreciated!
Thanks :]
The Answer
Georgia's age of consent is 16. Although they have been seriously considering rising the age to 18 for the past year I don't think that is going to happen.
So, in a nutshell it's a felony for someone who is older then 18 to have sex with someone younger then 16. Any other sexual acts, by anyone, with someone or both parties under the age of 16, is a misdemeanor.
So in essence, yes, Georgia does make it against the law to have sex underage, period. Although it would be up to the DA to prosecute or not in a given case.
Here it is, straight from the Georgia State legislation:
(2) If the victim is at least 14 but less than 16 years of age and the person convicted of child molestation is 18 years of age or younger and is no more than four years older than the victim, such person shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall not be subject to the sentencing and punishment provisions of Code Section 17-10-6.2.
You should be able buy condoms though; there really is no legal basis for refusing you service, although some places may, and there wouldn’t really be anything you could do about it except go someplace else.
You can read a the whole age of consent legislation for Georgia here: http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=Georgia
(View All Other Answers.)