Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84203
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So my brother was never really a great student. He finished his first year of college with mostly 2.0's. My dad was furious because my brother lied and said he got 3.0 average , thinking my parents wouldn't ask to see the online report card. Well they found out about the 2.0's, and my mom was calm and talked to him, whereas my dad really gave it to him. He said horrible things such as, "You know what?! I'm not sending you back next year! I'm busting my ass paying thousands of dollars and you think it's a game? No, just don't go to the stupid college and sit here for the rest of your life." It sounded worse because he yelled it, and that's not all he said. I felt bad. My mom felt bad. Even SHE thought my dad was being harsh. So my brother got pretty mad and was in his room all night, and then he got out of his room and went for a drive. When he came back, my mom saw that he had been in tears the whole drive. This sunk my heart because my brother NEVER cries, ever. The last time he cried was probably in highschool when it was his last football game. So I was saddened that he cried and I felt even crappier because I always get good grades. I felt like my brother would do something crazy out of sadness, feeling unwanted. I felt scared for him and for myself because I couldn't live without my brother. Sometime soon, I'm going to 6 flags with my dad, friend, and brother. I was talking to my dad about bringing a friend, and I said it had to be on a Saturday so my brother wouldn't have work and he could come. My dad said, "No. He's not coming. He gets 2.0 in school and lies about it, I'm not bringing him." I was heartbroken, and said it wasn't fair. Then he got mad and asked me if I decided what was fair and what wasn't. My mom got firm and explained clearly how harsh my dad was to my brother, and I told him that I agreed. He was mad, and then I left because I was too sad to even think about it. How do I help the situation? My dad was being really harsh on my brother, and I can't stand it because I love my brother too much to see him unhappy. (link)
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Wow, what a lousy situation. It is so good of you to want to resolve something that you didn't cause. That makes you special, and they are lucky to have you. I can relate to your dad's point. I have two boys, one excells in college, the other barely made it out of high school. I have had to accept that they are just two different people. I still worry about the younger one though and HE DOES have the ability to make me mad. (But I don't go off like your dad did. I learned not to.)One one hand though, the one who doesn;t do well in school, is so much more advanced socially, tha his smarter brother. So he has his talents and his brother has his own. Oh well.
I think your dad's biggest problem is with the lies. He is having a hard time reconciling that kind of behavior in your brother.
There are some things you need to get to the bottom of before you can intervene. Why is your brother just earning a 2.0? Is he partying too much, or is he trying very hard and just not able to make it? If he is giving his best effort, that is one point you can make, and perhaps he lied so he wouldn't dissapoint his parents. If he did poorly because he didn't try, fine out how does he feels about it now. (or as soon as he feels up to talking about it) Would he go back and change things if he could? What would he change....his efforts or the lieing? I think it is OK to say, (you or your brother) that he was just trying to protect dad from the truth, because he knew that dad would be so dissapointed in him. He didn't want to dissapoint him, but ultimately that is what happened anyway.Saying sorry is good, but it is not enough.... if your brother will acknowledge his behavior and how it affected your dad, it will sort of "take the wind out of your dad's sails". This works very well with people of all ages, and for all reasons. Your dad needs to have his feelings of dissapointment "acknowledged". After all would any of you begrudge your dad his "feelings of dissapointment"? NO I think not. I think you all just wish is that he showed it in a different way. BElieve me, your dad does love your brother, and you. College is expensive. He sees a brighter future for both of you because you are both attending college. He sees himself as the person who can make that possible. Your brother is throwing his future and your dad's dreams away.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that a better understanding of EVERYONE's feelings are needed here. A clearning of the air,so to speak. It is OK for you to say to your dad, that YOU also understand how he must feel, but that using anger to get his message across to your brother has a great potential of backfiring. I know that as mad as your father is, he would be blame himself if your brother quit school all together. I think a renewed effort on your brothers part, to take his future seriously, and your father's seeing that anger is counter productive to maintaining a supportive relationship with his son, could bring everyone back together again.
One thing your brother might consider is a change in major, and maybe he should ask your dad for advice in this area. (parents love it when kids ask them for advice.)
If you have it in you to bring this about, then you are one very special girl. Good luck to you.
-Michele
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Sometimes my mom can be my best friend, but often she takes it way too far. She'll ask me very private questions, won't let me have time to myself, and whenever I don't get invited somewhere she pesters me to basically admit to her that I'm a loser. She's always making me feel worse about myself asking questions like "Why does no one like you? Why don't they invite you places? Why are you sitting home alone again?" I quit cheerleading a few months ago (she was totally against me quitting it) so now she always tells me if I stuck with cheering I'd actually have friends. This really hurts.
I've tried asking her to stop, but then she just tells me I'm too sensitive and to get over myself. I'm not sure what to do about her anymore. (link)
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Your mom is trying to re-live her life through you. Maybe she had lots of friends when she was your age, and was popular, or maybe she wasn't. Whatever the answer, she wants you to be popular. She may think that by being popular, it makes her a better mom. This is wrong, and really places a lot of pressure on you. YOu have to be your own person. If you like cheerleading you would have stuck to it. It should be up to you with whom and where you want to spend your personal time. Your mom's behavior seems shallow to me. But you don't seem like a shallow person. You don't place a lot of importance on being popular. that is a good thing, because "life" is nothing like high school. I know that we are often intimidated by our parents, and we think they have all the answers, and are smarter than us, or should be.....but that is not always the case. You seem like a sensitive and deep individual. Are you interested in volunteer work? Can you find some volunteer work to do this summer, so you'll be busy and she'll be off your back. Working with kids or animals, or even at the library. Is there a summer camp near you, for little kids, where you can be a counselor? If she thinks you should be hanging out at the mall with friends instead of doing volunteer work, tell her you think that making a difference in the world is so much better than being materialistic. Or waiting for someone else to fix the problems we face. We can all make a difference. Hey maybe she'll be influenced by you, and start to think less of herself, And start to believe that what is important is to be smart, unselfish, and resourceful, like you.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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Okay so my parents divorce is finially ending second week of July. I've never been so happy (its been going on for two years in August). I live with my dad right now but I really want to live with my mom when the divorce thing is set. I get along way better with her and she understands me more than my dad ever has. the only thing my dad is good for is him telling me what to do and getting stuff (like food, cds, etc).
The only problem with this is that my dad doesn't think my mom is a good mother. But thats kind of bull too because she has been there through everything then last year i cut myself and they all thought it was because of her, but it had nothing to do with that.
Anyways.. I think that I will be happier living there, but how do I convince my dad that I will be? I hate living where I am now. I feel like time is just moving and i'm not doing anything with my life. I want purpose, pretty much.
can someone please help me? i don't know how to tell my dad i don't like living with him.
i'm 16/f if that helps. and i will be a junior next year. (link)
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Honey, I know this is frustrating, but it is not just about where you "like" to live, it is about where is the "best place" for you to grow up. If a judge were deciding, this is what he would look at:
The quality of the schools, your access to the schools, the home you will be living in, will you have your own room. Or will you be sleeping on the couch. Will you have opportunities for extra activities, after school, weekends. Which parent makes the most money. Which parents seems a better role model. Which one is more successful. Does one or both parents have a history of being in trouble with the law, drugs, or abuse alcohol. In which home would you have access to grandparents. All things being equal, a judge might let you decide. But if one is better prepared, ready willing and able to take care of you, then the judge will side for that parent. So you know both, have lived with both, if you were the judge, which do you think would be the better home for yourself. I know you want to think that your feelings matter, but adults believe, (and sometimes they are right) that kids don't always make the best decisions for themselves. I hope you do find happiness, but remember, some day you WILL be on your own, and you won't have to live with either one of them. That is what you should be preparing for....your future happiness.
Michele
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ok well just recently my friend sent me a message over myspace saying that we havent hung out in forever and we should. i havent hung out with him since last summer and he is a year older then me and we were always good friends. well he messaged me and said how about friday? and i said sure. so then i just started gettin texts from him and i think he thinks were more then friends and this is gonna be a date type thing. weve never been more then friends and i dont like him like that. i dont want to go out on friday with him anymore beause i dont want him thinkin its a date but i dont wanna blow him off either but i dont wanna tell him that i think we should just be friends because i think he will back off and wont talk to me cuz thats his personality. what do i do? (link)
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He is trying very hard to start a relationship with you. You can't soft pedal this. You have to be frank and sincere and make sure he gets the message. YOu have don't nothing wrong, He is making up all these fantasies in his own head. And he needs a wake up call. This is how stalkers behave. It is good practice for you to learn how to be FIRM in getting your message across. This is for your own safety and piece of mind. Too many girls are dead today, or have been hurt by guys to mistook "being nice" with "she must love me!". Please do not concern yourself with his feeling, he is not thinking of you, he is only thinking of himself and how you fit into his life. Your wants, needs or desires don't matter. You may think I am going way overboard with this, but I can promise you. You will not get through life without running into a guy or two he behaves this way. Don't encourage him. Tell him you thought you two had plans to hang out AS FRIENDS< and if he is looking for something more, than you are cancelling. Be firm.
You can always be nice later, when he sees you on your terms.
Hope this helps, and I hope you heed this advice
Michele
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Whats the best body scrub and lotion that will make my skin silky smooth. (link)
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Do you mean home made, or cheap, or no scrub is too exensive, or too good for me!
Well, home made, baby oil with sugar mixed in is about as cheap as you can get, and it will do wonders. A low cost one is St. Ives Apricot Scrub, you can get it at any drug store. REal expensive ones, called body butters, and stuff like that, well they are all over the internet.
Try www.aveda.com or www.skinstore.com, and search on body scrubs.
Good luck to you
Michele
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What are some factors that lead to having smelly number 2? Anything I should change in my diet or excerise to stop it? (link)
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A poor diet with too much junk food can lead to foul smelling stool. Too much sugar, and not enough fiber. Eat more fruit, veggies, and whole grains. You'll go more often, the stool will not be in your system as long, and there will be less odor. It won't be perfect though, everyone has some smell. Oh, I remember, one thing that really causes foul smelling number 2. It's artificial sugars, like equal, splenda, saccharine, etc. etc.
If you are drinking a lot of diet soda and stuff like that. Stop now, and see if that makes a difference.
Michele
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Do long distance relationships work?
Or what are your views on them?
I'm not thinking of starting one, but a friend is and I was just wondering what others thought about them. (link)
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Long distance relationships work better when you are older and more mature, and willing to delay self gratification. Think of all the wives and girlfriends whose husbands and/or boyfriends are soldiers in IRAQ. These women are committed to waiting for their loved ones to come home. They are aleady in a committed relationship with that person. When you are young, like your age, and perhaps the age of your friend, so much of your relationship is getting to know each other, you get feedback from each other, by being with each other. Once you have spend a coupld of years with a person, and have fallen in love, from a young age, when something happens that separates you, you both have more patience for waiting it out. Because you have a history together. It is hard to do when you are so young. I wouldn't discourage it though, anything could happen.
100 years ago, all realtions ships started out as long distance. WE didn't live so close to each other as we do now. Towns were small, and you just might meet the person that interests you, who is passing through your town. Then only by writting letters to each other, would you get to know each other. Kind of like IM, I guess. And in time, they did get to spend time together.
I hope this helps.
Michele
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im moving into an apartment and im not allowed to paint on the walls. does anyone have any good ideas on something creative i can do to my walls or cool ideas for the room?
thanks a bunch (link)
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YOu might want to consider stapling cloth on the walls. Textures and weaves make a great statement. And staples make very small holes, and they would be along the perimeter of the walls.
A cheap way, withoug having to deal with bolts of cloth is to use sheets. Many place sell Wall hangings, made of cotton sheetings in all sizes.
Can you hang pictures? If so pick a theme, like flowes, animals, album covers, black & white, color, etc. and hang a lot of pictures, all different sizes on one wall. Sort of makes a collage of photos/pictures, or posters.
Have fun!
Michele
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What makes diet drinks have no calories?
(link)
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The use fake sugar, like sucralose, or splenda, or sachcarine, or equal. they have a sweetness to them that is created with chemicals, and they have no calories. I don't recommend them. Some people think they leave an aftertaste. And they are made from chemcials or from a chemical process that is performed on real sugar. I avoid them myself.
Michele
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im 13 years old and weigh 165 i wanna lose weight really bad.
help me out please. (link)
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Try this diet, it worked for me, after I had two babies. I lost 38 lbs in three months.
I have given it to other girls on this site.
You need a two fold plan. Burn calories and tone or build muscles. Burning calories is any exercise of long duration. Running, walking, biking, skating, swimming. rowing. Any or a combination of all, for an hour at least 5 times a week. Then work with free weights. Low weights like 3 to 5 to 8 lbs will help tone muscles, higher weights will build muscles. (You can use cans of beans to start.)You don't want to work on building muscles until you have lost weight. Otherwise you build the muscles under the fat and you will not look better. GEt a book on weight lifting or go to www.about.com they have a section on weight loss and weight training, you can sign up for their free newsletter. If you are going to work out a home can you invest in a few hand weights and a work out bench. You can't do the right kind of exercises on the floor. Look for books by Joyce Verdral, PHD. She has books about weight lifing that explain everything, and they have pictures and all. YOu can find used books and old books on the web at www.half.com for very little money.
And finally, you need to go on a very low fat diet, here is a basic one that I used for many years, and still try to follow. I know this works. The more fat you have the mor weight you will loose
Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the nutrition labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. Cut the out of your life. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
french fries
NO FRIED FOODS
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat or no fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish baked or broiled or grilled. NO FRYING
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of whole grain bread, or pretzels or popcorn and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a small bowl of cereal with fat free milk as a snack after dinner. Or pretzels or popcorn
follow this NO CHEATING, and you will loose 10 lbs in two weeks.
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Here is an addition to this diet. Read the ingredient labels of the food you eat. Avoid any foods that have: Sugar, Dextrose, High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) or Trans Fat, as any of the first four ingredients.
Good Luck to you. You go girl!
Michele
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See this is my first time of getting married. You see my parents have done everything to get this wedding on the ball since it is next month. But she thinks it should be all about her, I don't want to be a bad niece but I don't want to have someone that is gonna be taking the pictures to try to ruin my day just because she isn't involved in every little bitty thing we do in the wedding. She thinks that me and my sister in law(Matron of Honor) going out for a Bacholorette Party is so bad that she should be involved. But she isn't a drinker, she's a very negative person and I don't want that while we're trying to have a good time. Plus she's a nark. I can't deal with this anymore, please if anyone can give me better advice than talking to her about it I'd really appreciate it. Thanx. (link)
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Tell her that you don't know any girls, who were getting married, whose "aunt" went out with them on bachelorette night. (I don't know any either)
Wow can't belive she is so unsecure, she needs to be the center of attention, at YOUR wedding.
Can you have your fiance talk to her, or maybe to her husband? Can you give her false plans and date and time of the bachelorette party, then hold it without her.
I hope everything works out for you. It is your day after all. Good luck to you.
Michele
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My boobs are really sensitive and hurt.
I used to SI on them, but they were totally desensitized, and now they're hypersensitive...
how do I reverse this? (link)
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I went through this once. Ended up I had cystic breast. Caused by drinking too much caffene. When I stopped drinking coffee and colas, it went away. Maybe it is being caused by that.
Michele
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Is it possible to overdose on marijuana? I'm f/16/47kg and very small. I was at a mates place on the weekend and they were passing round a homemade bong. I had tried it smoking weed in a very small dose before and nothing ever happened. I smoke cigarettes but even after one I feel dizzy for a few minutes. So anyway I smoked a cone and about 2 minutes after I did it I started tripping out so badly and I was panicking and I didn’t know what I was doing or saying and I didn’t know what was real. I couldn’t see and I think I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I didn’t know how long it had been happening or what I was doing. It felt like I was having a stroke. It was the worst feeling ever. My head was hot and fuzzy, I couldn’t see, it felt like I was blacking out, my ears and mouth felt like they were bleeding, I had pins and needles everywhere and my thumbs and forearm muscles were clenched so tightly I had no control over my muscles. I had to get my friend to massage my arms and help me drink water. I didn’t know if I was hot or cold. People had to keep talking to me so I would stay awake. I was so scared. So what happened to me? Is it possible to overdose? Why did this happen? (link)
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Honey, if marijuana were consistent, it would be easy to measure the amount consumed with a person's weight, and calculate how much is needed to "feel a buzz" and how much is too much. But marijuana is NOT made by a phamacuetical company and it is not government regulated, like liquor is. So you have no idea, when you share some marijuana with someone.....where it came from, how strong it is, and what it is cut with! Often Marijuana is mixed with chemicals to make it stronger and some of them are toxic. This is true for all illegal drugs. I know, I tried this stuff when I was young, many many years ago...but somehow things were different then. Most of the people involved in the illicit drug trade were people who also wanted to get high. The stuff was generally safe, because they smoked it too. Today there are many people who just want to make a buck, and they don't even care if they kill people doing it. So my advice would be not to try any drugs again, since you had such a very bad reaction.
Michele
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In an interview situation when is it appropriate to ask questions about benefits and salary? (link)
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If this a "high powered" job, say one where you will be working in a office and having to wear a business suit, I would not ask about salary and benefits in the first interview. Office jobs with say, physicians, banks or lawyers office, often conduct FIRST interviews, then call in the people they liked for 2ND interviews. In cases like this, is it only proper to bring up salary and benefits in the 2nd interview. Do you know if the company will be conducting 2nd interviews. They may give you a clue when they meet you by saying, "this is just a first interview". If that is the case, I would not bring up salary and benefits. If you get called in for a second interview, that is GOOD,and I am sure that they will bring it up in the 2nd, but even if they don't, it is OK for you to do that.
Michele
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Ok I asked a question earlier about my throat. The doctor won't take me until tomorrow & I'm going crazy. I don't know what it is.
-I feel physically sick
-Heads heavy
-Throats extremely heavy; hurts if I move it & hurts if I touch my glands
-Glands in neck are swollen
-There's so much white on my tonsils/back of throat. It's basically covered
-It's so painful to eat/talk/swallow/do nothing. I feel my throat throbbing just sitting here
-Ear ache. My ears hurt when I swallow also.
-I'm starting to get a bit hot
Does anyone have any idea what this is? I tried 2 cups of tea, tylenol cold/sore throat liquid medicine, hard candies, ludens, vick's throat spray, gargling, hot soup, icecream, etc.
Does anyone have any ideas what this is or any other remedies that might work?
Thanks!! (link)
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What is your temperature? If it climbs above 102 you had better get yourself to a hospital. Don't take any asprin, only tylenol. Hopefully it is just tonsilitis, which is a bad infection in your tonsils, and the anti-biotics that he will put you on will make it go away. Just watch your temperature. Don't let it get too high. Tylenol should bring it down, but if it is too bad, tylenol won't work. So go to the ER tonight if you can't keep your temperature down. You don't want to end up with meningitis, which is an infection of the spinal fluid. It can even go to your brain. In fact, do you have a head ache, That is not a good sign, either, along with these other symptoms. If you get a headache and have a temp, go to the ER!
Michele
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month. He just turned 18 and I'm soon to be 15 so we're about 3 1/2 years apart. Nothing bad or serious is going on but we do make each other very happy. I don't see him often but we talk on the phone for about 3 hours every night. My parents and family have no problem with it, they like him. But, his mom hates me! She's vietnamese and is from Vietnam so she has different views. He's an only child so I totally understand her being protective but idk what to do. I want badly to change for her but also, he likes me for me and I don't want that to change. They constantly fight about me, even tho I haven't seen her in weeks and she doesn't really know we hang out (she doesn't even know we're offically dating, he hasn't told her). She thinks I'm just doing this to prove I can get an older guy and mess up his life but that's not true! I care very much about him and love him a lot. I always put him first, he's one of the best people in my life. But I'm afraid that all this fighting is going to drive him crazy and he's going to decide it's not worth it and everything is too complicated. I'm stuck. What do I do? (link)
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Honey, you are really between a rock and a hard place. His vietnamese family is so steeped in tradition. I think he would be having problems dating anyone, let alone an American Girl. I am sure that they want him to go to college. And they want NOTHING and NO ONE to interfere with that. His parents probably never dated, their marriage was arranged by their parents. And I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't hoping to do the same for him some day, when THEY decide that he is old enough. Which won't be until he is out of college. The other thing is the differences in your ages. You are under age, you know that. He is an adult now in the eyes of the law, if you two have ANY sexual contact, he can be arrested, and be marked as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. And IT DOESN"T matter if you and even your parents, do not want to press charges against him. The state can press the charges, and you will have no say in it. But perhaps you already know this, are you two are NOT having relations, and have no plans to get intimate. Once you are over 16, I think the laws change.
It is very very difficult for him to live with the thought of dissapointing his parents. The Vietnamese people put great emphasis on respecting ones elders, and obeying your parents. In a Vietnamese family, the parents make the decisions for their children well into adult hood. And I belive that his parents are so worried about what COULD happen that they are on his case constantly. Reminding him of what he owes them. Honey, I don't want to discourage you from thinking about a life together with him, but I can tell you a lifetime of living with (or near by) a mother-in-law who hates you can get real old, real fast. Are you up to it?
I think the best thing for you guys to do is stay friends, stay close, and see if his parents come around. Maybe in time, but you MUST BOTH BE VERY CAREFUL, not to make any mistakes that could ruin one or both of your lives, (you know what I mean).
Maybe if years go by, and you two still want to be together, then maybe they will give in. BUT I think that will only happen once he has finished college and has a career. If he is an only son, he will be expected to take care of his parents in their old age. That is tradition. So keep that in mind. I wish you both the best, but I can tell you from experience, sometimes love is not enough, when the whole world seems to be against you. They make it seem romantic in the movies, but it is nothing like that in reality. I only tell you all these things so you have enough information to make the best decision. Good luck to you.
Michele
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so i just started workin out after 2 years of being a couch potato and ive been doing 60 squats a day. i thought they were supposed to tone up your butt & thighs but its my calves that are killing me. am i doing somethin wrong? (link)
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IT also helps to do the squats with some small weights, held in each hand, and resting on your shoulders. Make sure you are goind down far enough, but not far enough to be resting on your haunches. Another great but exercise is to do leg lifts, with ankle weights. On your hands and knees. Lift right leg up, toes pointed and try to touch the ceiling. Do 10 reps. X 3, and of course repeat for the other leg.
Michele
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My feet are always purple/ red, especially after standing.. and i mean a short period of time, like taking a shower. My hands are often a purply red color too. Also, my hands and feet are cold most of the time. Sometimes when i stand up after sitting, or just randomly, i won't be able to see anything except these weird grey fuzzy swirls. Could it be poor circulation? Low oxygen in the blood?
I've been googling purple feet and other disorders, but each disorder leads to a different cause, which leads to a different disorder, so i'm just wondering if anyone happens to know from experience, or something.
Thanks. (link)
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Well purple feet and hands doesn't seem like poor cirulation, but the other symptoms certainly do. Why not google poor circulation and see if discoloring of hands and feet are one of the symptoms. You don't give enough information for me to give you more info. Your age and weight would help. But you certainly need to get to the bottom of your symptoms. You are right to be concerned. Please don't stop searching for answers.
Michele
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Well, my boyfriend is allergic to "methylparabens" which is found in most lotions, shampoos, soaps, and other things you use on your skin. He said he tried using other lotions without the ingredient but he still breaks out and itches like crazy. I just need to know is there anything that can help him stop breaking out or itching. He can barely take showers because his skin dries out and makes it all worse. And I feel really bad about all this because I probably use lotions and stuff he is allergic to but I don't know. He's been to doctors and hospitals and such and no one could help. Does anyone know what he should do? (link)
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I would suggest that you stop in to a good health food store. The store will have products that you can both use. Perhaps even make-up. Just tell the owners/clerks what you told us on this site, and they will tell you wish products they carry that you can both safely use. I know Dr. Bonners Pure Castile soap is supposed to be good for people who are allergic to other soaps. That is one you can ask about, and most health food stores carry his products. Pure soaps made with goat milk, may be an option. So I am not talking about a GNC or something like that, but a Whole Foods STore may be able to help you. Google health food store for our town and state and see what comes up. A naturopathic doctor could help too, but he/she will give you the same advice that the owners of the health food store will give you, but you'll have to pay the doctor. Most insurance companies DO NOT cover naturopathic doctors. If he is faced with a life time of allergies, he should be seeing a naturopathic physician. They excell in this area of practice. But most boys/men make terrible patients. Good luck to both of you
Michele
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i need to start planning my quinceanera soon...i have no idea where to start!!!help!!! (link)
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try these websites
www.uniquelyquince.com or
www.quinceanera-boutique.com/quinceaneratradition.htm
You should be able to get a lot of information and see some beautiful dresses too
Michele
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