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Custody.
Okay so my parents divorce is finially ending second week of July. I've never been so happy (its been going on for two years in August). I live with my dad right now but I really want to live with my mom when the divorce thing is set. I get along way better with her and she understands me more than my dad ever has. the only thing my dad is good for is him telling me what to do and getting stuff (like food, cds, etc).
The only problem with this is that my dad doesn't think my mom is a good mother. But thats kind of bull too because she has been there through everything then last year i cut myself and they all thought it was because of her, but it had nothing to do with that.
Anyways.. I think that I will be happier living there, but how do I convince my dad that I will be? I hate living where I am now. I feel like time is just moving and i'm not doing anything with my life. I want purpose, pretty much.
can someone please help me? i don't know how to tell my dad i don't like living with him.
i'm 16/f if that helps. and i will be a junior next year.
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Honey, I know this is frustrating, but it is not just about where you "like" to live, it is about where is the "best place" for you to grow up. If a judge were deciding, this is what he would look at:
The quality of the schools, your access to the schools, the home you will be living in, will you have your own room. Or will you be sleeping on the couch. Will you have opportunities for extra activities, after school, weekends. Which parent makes the most money. Which parents seems a better role model. Which one is more successful. Does one or both parents have a history of being in trouble with the law, drugs, or abuse alcohol. In which home would you have access to grandparents. All things being equal, a judge might let you decide. But if one is better prepared, ready willing and able to take care of you, then the judge will side for that parent. So you know both, have lived with both, if you were the judge, which do you think would be the better home for yourself. I know you want to think that your feelings matter, but adults believe, (and sometimes they are right) that kids don't always make the best decisions for themselves. I hope you do find happiness, but remember, some day you WILL be on your own, and you won't have to live with either one of them. That is what you should be preparing for....your future happiness.
Michele
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I know EXACTLY what you mean...and as much as you may not want your parents to fight they may fight over this...you dont have to ignore your dad...just tell your mom if it becomes an issue the judge can take care of it when they are deciding custody if your dad asks say dad im a girl I need my mom and you cant take her away from me...your mom can also take care of this problem by talking to your dad. I hope this advice helped you!
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it definetly sounds like your unhappy.
first have you told your mom how you feel?
i would definetly tell her before your dad she can help you 1.) with getiing throught the divorce cus she is doing the same thing. 2.) she was married to him so she might no a good way to break it to him.
then explain to your dad how your unhappy and why dont just complain give him reasons and tell him the real reason you cut yourself he is gonna want to make sure that it isnt because of her if you are going to be livibng with her
he still cares about you so he wantss you to be safe.
if you cant talk your dad into it you CAN go to the courts considering your 16 he have the right to choose where to live.
but that is a last resort.
good luck.
tell me how it works out!
<3 haley
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