Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32819
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
Random Weirdos
View All
Favorite Columnists
NinjaNeer
WittyUsernameHere
ThirdQED
|
| |
|
More than 6 months ago I dropped something on my foot and it smashed my toenail place very good. It hurt REALLY bad and instantly bruised up underneathe the nail. It hurt for the first two weeks really badly and was difficult to wear shoes (had to anyway because of work). Well, it's been awhile now and my toenail has grown out quite a bit. This week it has start to detach from the toe itself (the toenail is still black/purple looking...nasty). Should I go on and pull/clip the rest of the toenail off or let it fall off in time by itself? (link)
|
Let it fall off for itself, Not only will it be painful to remove it but it very well could bleed.
It will fall off when it's ready
|
|
For about eight months now I've been not doing very well. I have been not eating very much at all and, when I do, I end up making myself throw it back up. I am pretty such I am anorexic. I've lost a lot of weight but I've been SO sick. My parents thought I was just on a diet because that's what I kept telling them over and over. I did very good at lying to them so I don't know what to do now because I'm seeing that I need help. My body is a wreck and I'm so unhappy with all of this. I want to be normal again. How do I tell my parents that I've been lying to them and that I'm really sick with this anorexia eating disorder?! (link)
|
Listen, Family is what we have in the end, They are our support and out of everyone we will ever meet your mother and father are NOT going to abandon you. Sure they might not be happy that you lied to them but you are sick and you need their help. It's a great thing that you realize it, Some people don't ever end up realizing they went to far. Sit down with them, Tell them you have something really important you need to tell them and that it is very serious. Explain to them that you need their support, and then tell them. That is a way of telling them and giving them the heads up it might not be something they really want to hear but it's assuring them that you need their help. They are your family, and that is what they are there for.
|
|
My uncle is really sick and his kidneys are failing him. He's had this kidney trouble for years now and he's been in and out of the hospital. He has not found a donor yet and has been waiting on the list for quite some time. I just found out that I'm a match for him. My mom doesn't want me to donate my kidney though because she says I'm way too young to be doing things like that and that I might end up regretting it later. I'm not sure what to do though. I don't want him to die because he's always been good to me. What should I do? What are the REAL pros & cons of doing this? Help? (link)
|
Donating an organ to a family member is personal choice, Sure it is a great thing and can help your uncle in the long run and possibly live a healthier life. However remember, Donating ANY organ is something that takes time to think about and will require surgery.
Do not feel pressured into HAVING to donate an organ because you are a match. It will not make you a bad person if you decide not to donate an organ. Again, This is YOUR body and YOU decide what you want to do. You're mother has her opinions, However again everyone has their opinions when it comes to certain things but again this would be a decision only you would be able to make. You either are an organ donor or you're not.
|
|
well i've been talking to this guy for 3 months now, and we have sex all the time , our parents know each other... i like him ALOT, and i feel like he likes me too. BUT he has a problem making commitment to me . i know he's being loyal to me, but he just doesnt want to be my boyfriend, and everytime i come up on that issue, he says " whats the rush " i get annoyed alot because i like things when their set in stone. he also doesnt talk to me at school, and when we're around certain people he barely pays attention to me . he says that its not me , that thats' just the way he is , and he's shy. i reallllly need him to step it up because i'm getting tired of waiting around but i dont want to lose him either. what can i tell him or show him, so that he'll decide to finally ask me out ? (link)
|
Sounds like you are just his booty call, Think about it....
He wants to have sex with you but yet doesn't want to be your boyfriend? Something wrong there. You two are sharing something very personal...He barely talks to you and doesn't pay attention to you. There's your answer, Doesn't sound like he is as special as he seemed. You're best bet is to forget about it and move on
|
|
Thank you so much. i believed this is 100% true. am just going to let her be . am not even going to connfront her or any of that . Thats not going to fix anything.. since she has anger problems ..what i aslo think is that she is hardly in school and she does bad in classes,and she is a senior, i really dont think she is going to graduate..so since this is happening she probably wants to fight me so then people could think she is not graduating because she fought..which is really pathetic. ! (link)
|
Some people who aren't happy with themselves seek to take it out on others, Whether the reasons why only they will ever know. Just don't pay attention to her. I've had to deal with people that liked to give me dirty looks but the more I didn't acknowledge them the more and more they realized I didn't care. ;)
|
So today I got asked to prom. I don't know the guy who asked me that well, but we're kind of in the same friend "circle"
Well anyway, when he asked me it was reallyyyy awkward, and that just got me thinking, how awkward will it be on prom night??
I'm really scared!! I mean I have to dance with him and everything, and I already act dumb enough around guys on a typical day, so I cannot imagine how embarrassing I will act.
So do you guys have any tips? Like how I can calm my nerves, or maybe get to know him better?
ANYTHING is appreciated! Thank you so much! :] (link)
|
Just be calm, Be yourself.
If it helps any, Just think of him in a friend of way. If you don't know what to talk about then still with small talk. This is your prom night, This is his prom night, Just take it easy.
You will be fine ;) and have fun!
|
17/f
so i dated a guy for 14 months. we were really serious and we spent alot of time together. we broke up because he wasn't treating me right, i was soo devestated over it. like i thought i was going into depression :/ he turned out to be a jerk in the end and i was just too blind to see it but now that we aren't together i'm starting to see his jerk side perfectly. and if i ever get feelings back for him i would never get back ina relationship with him. i should also mention we were each others first loves and he was my my first real boyfriend, my first real kiss, and the first person to do sexual things with ya know. but we didn't have sex, that's something i want to save. we've been broken up for 4 months. i still think about him alot and i feel guilty because i have a new boyfriend who i might be starting to fall for.
so i just started dating this new guy. he treats me really good and he's so sweet to me. but i don't feel those "sparks" that i got with my ex when we kiss. do you think its just because he was my first love and it was new to me? or because we just started dating and it just needs some time? i mean i really like him and we have fun together, but i don't know if i should continue the relationship or not because of that. i DO feel something with him, it just isn't as strong.
oh and one more question. me and my ex didn't start doing sexual things until we were dating for like 5 months, me and my current bf started the next week. is it true that if a guy really likes a girl he waits longer? is it that just a rumor? (link)
|
You were with your ex boyfriend for over a year and in a years time, A lot can happen. As I say, Sometimes someones true colors don't show through until you are no longer together.
If he treated you badly, Then GOOD for you for not being with him. No woman deserves an asshole, Clearly he doesn't deserve you. You have no reason to feel guilty, He was the one who disrespected you he deserves to be alone.
If you are in a relationship with someone else that treats you right then good for you, You have attempted the moving on process. You may not be feeling the spark just yet because 4 months is not that long, Sometimes it just takes time. Are you letting yourself fall for him?...Sounds like apart of you is holding yourself back. If he treats you good then just let it happen but be safe too.
I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, A good way to move forward is to remember all the mean things that were said to you/done to you and use that anger towards moving on. This is about YOU, YOUR happiness and if this guy makes you happy then he is your path. Remember, You are better off without your ex anyway.
|
|
what's the best way to get rid of bad breath BESIDES brushing your teeth 3 times a day & using mouth wash? (link)
|
1. Make sure you change your tooth brush every 2 months
2. Breath Mints are good, Altoids work good.
3. Avoid eating to much greasy foods such as "Fried chicken, pizza, soda, etc" It's okay to eat fried foods but mix it up with healthy meals too.
|
|
Ok so i had sex with my bf almost 2 weeks ago and i am due on my period this weekend. I take birth control but the past 4 days i have had real bad stomach ache, lower back ache and just dont feel right. I know birth control isnt 100% effective so i am worried. If i come on my period at the weekend should i still take a pregnancy test? or do you have to wait a while longer? thanks (link)
|
The recommended time for pregnancy test is 6-10 days after sex.
If you want to prevent pregnancy then use a condom, Pull out method is the oldest trick in the book and it DOESN'T ALWAYS work.
|
|
hey! am sorry if this is too long..i just need some help! ok am a girl and there is this girl that hates me so much. ok this is how it all started. we were in school in algebra and before algebra we have lunch. when we come back from lunch this girl is always late to class. the door of the classroom is always locked. she always comes late and expect somebody to opened the door for her. well me and my friend always sit next to the door but we dont open it for people because they should get to class in time. well when somebody opened the door for her she came in and started saying this "stupid B****** dont open the F***** door . they are so R*******"..she just kept on arguing. we just ignored her. this all happened on november of 2009. now she always stares at me in class,and sometimes when am walking down the hallway she looks at me or when am sitting down and she comes inside the classrrom she stares at me..and i herd her talked about me..i really dont know what is her problem seriously..i dont want to go up to her because i know something will ahppen because she has anger issues and so do i..so can you please tell me a good advice because this girl is getting on my nerves :( (link)
|
Ignore her, Continue to Ignore her. Act like it doesn't even bother you. I know it may be hard to just pretend she isn't even there..but trust me in the long run she will get bored and move on. She stares at you because she has a problem with you, She WANTS a reaction and she is expecting you to get angry with her dirty looks.
The next time she decides to give you the angry eyes, Just look away. Don't even acknowledge the fact that she is in the room. If she approaches you, Then you let a teacher know about it and you let them handle the situation.
|
|
just moved into a new house and the water here is absolutely terrible. It comes out looking yellow even! It's scary because it's SO hard to get things clean and white again. A problem I am having is the toilet in the upstairs bathroom though. It is stained from the minerals in the hard water we have. I have tried a lot of the regular toilet bowl cleaners (the Lysol and Clorox brands) but they don't really get those stains out! It's embarrassing because it LOOKS like it's never been cleaned. Does anybody know how to get these toilet bowl stains out without having to replace the darn thing (because it's just going to have that build-up again and again)? (link)
|
I know it smells horrible, but the best thing to use to get white, White again is bleach. You may have to let it sit for a few hours
|
So there's this guy that i've had a crush on for forever. He moved and I got a boyfriend (together 9 months) and i forgot about him. But he moved back and my feelings for him returned too, but i also love my boyfriend. The other guy likes me too so he asked me to hang out with him. I wasn't going to because i didn't want to hurt my bf, but i decided i would just to see if i felt anything. So we were hanging out and i let him put his arm around me, he tried to kiss me but i didn't let him. We didn't do anything else. It turns out im not as crazy about him as i thought. Anyways, would this be considered cheating? Should i tell my boyfriend about it? Am i a bad person for doing this?
Thanks (link)
|
It can go both ways, Yes and No
You should of not of gone, You have a boyfriend and you are already committed to him. How would you of felt if your boyfriend had a crush on some girl so he went to hang out with her to see if the feelings were real or not? Wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do..
|
Hey!
When you get your hair done at a salon, how much are you supposed to tip the stylist? Thanks in advance. :) (link)
|
Depending on the Bill...
I personally tip 20%, Hair stylist are really no different then a waitress at a restaurant. They might not serve you food, But they still take the time to cut your hair and style it the way you want it.
If the bill is 20.00 (Double the 2) Tip= $4.00
30.00 (Double the 3) Tip = 6.00
And so on...
|
i am married and my ex girl friend harrasses me a lot. what should I do? she has made my life hell. she came to my work..harrassed me. she keep on calling me again and again. my marriage will broke. please advice me asap.
i am 40 year old male. living in vancouver. my email is amit4sep@gmail.com
amit (link)
|
Go to the police, Get a restrainer order against her. This is not acceptable at all
1. Confront your boss, Let him/her know that if your ex girlfriend shows up at the work place to have her escorted out of the building. If it gets too far, They will have her arrested for disturbing the peace.
2. Get a new phone number, Or even better BLOCK her number from calling and get Caller ID
3. Get a peace bond like the person suggested below me, It comes in handy in the long run and legally she won't be able to harass you.
Cut contact, If she knows your email then change it and make a new one. Don't talk to her, Until you get your phone number changed if she calls HANG UP. Don't say anything to her because in the long run it will only egg her on to cause more problems between you and your family. Best of luck!
If you need more advice please email me at
Jezzy.Ricardo@yahoo.com
|
|
me and my boyfriend are doing so good but the thing is that he wanna be a singer but his manger keep coming on to him and she always tell me that she going to take him from me but idk what to do she got him dunk and then she had sex with him idk what to do (link)
|
It takes two to cheat, Drunk or not he was perfectly aware of his intake and how much alcohol he chooses to drink. Therefore, You are not doing well and he cheated. I agree with the person below, If he wants to cheat with his manager just to become a singer he isn't worth a time. Dump him
|
17/F
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago because I'm not Christian. We had been dating for about 3 months, but we have been good friends for the last 3-4 years. I worried religion might be a problem before we dated, but he promised me it wouldn't become a factor in our relationship and he respected my beliefs. The first 2 months of our relationship went very well; we were both really happy and loved being with each other. It was after that when things started to change. After going to church one Sunday he told me it bothered him i wasn't christian. Of course i was angry, because he promised me religion wouldn't become a problem. He wanted me to go to church with him, but i refused; I wasn't going to change myself or do something i didn't want to do for a boy. We came to the conclusion that he would have to think about it, but I wasn't going to change for him. I spent that next month worrying about how he was feeling and worrying about him breaking up with me, because he seemed different. But he promised me everything was fine and he had no intention of breaking up.
Finally it happened; initially we wanted to take a break, but it quickly turned into a break up. I was devastated...we were so great together except for the religion part. I felt so deceived and lied to. He told me that "God told him to break up with me". I began to wonder if that was just a copout for him, because maybe he just didn't like me anymore and needed a better excuse. After all, how can anyone argue with God? So now, I feel extremely depressed. I miss him so much...he became my best friend. We were so involved in each others lives. I keep holding out this hope that he will realize he made a mistake and want me back, because i still want to get back together. I only wish that he could find whatever it was that allowed him to be with me regardless of religion in those first 2 months. He recently told me he would get back together with me if i became christian, and that hurts even more because I just can't do that. He also said he still wants to be good friends...but how can I do that when I still have such strong feelings for him? I know i should forget him and move on the way he seems to have moved on, but I'm finding that really difficult. I still love him. What now? (link)
|
Sigh...I got some bad news for you...
I dated someone for 5 years, He was Jewish and I was Catholic.
Depending on how religious he is, It may always be a problem. You can't beat around the bush, You two will always have your disagreements about who believes in what. It will always be there and you can't take someone who is religious and make them so they hate the bible. Heavy believers usually prefer to marry someone who is in their religion. This isn't always the case, but usually if someone is dating someone that is a different religion the other would prefer them to convert. Converting to a religion can take a few years, Depending on the process and how long it takes. It requires tons of studying, Commitment and it is not an easy process. (I've attempted to convert once before) The pressure of trying to get the basics down was just too much for me to handle on top of going to school. Although, He promised you he wouldn't let religion become a problem...What it comes down to in the end is that he is a Christian and you're not. I don't want to be blunt but I think your best bet is to try to but your focus on moving on. Unless you are 100% committed to converting into Christianity and again it is NOT easy...Then I would just move on.
|
|
I just met my biological dad and his son who is my brother i spent a week with them over spring break and we all grew close, now that im back at home (which is 9 hours away from them) i miss them so much i text my biological dad and brother daily telling them i miss them and yes, love them. Now my mom checks my text messages and i guess it hurts her to see that i indeed love them. she gets mad cuz i want to go back home where my bro and bio dad are mainly because my bro has cancer and is going through chemo and i want to be there for him. how do i handle both parents? i hate making my mom feel like shes losing me but shes not, and i am NOT going to stop talking to my bio dad and brother, i just want to know how i can deal with them, my mom is always getting mad now cuz im not happy here, but i never have been happy here since we moved here. all i want is to go back to my homeland. how do i love both parents without making the other feel left out or feeling like im being lost to the other parent? am i wrong for loving my biological dad and brother so much? (link)
|
Keep in mind that you are your mother's daughter, She raised you. You have just met your biological father and your brother of course it will be hard for her to except the fact that they are in the picture. You're mother may be feeling hurt, Maybe like you are drifting away from her to some level. Meeting your biological father can raise a bunch of confusion, mixed feelings etc.
I think it might be a little soon to say you love them unconditionally, However keep in mind that you just met them. They have been gone for 15 years, You are going to need more time to get to know them. I don't know the entire situation from what you said you only gave little detail..but I would be cautious for awhile. I wouldn't give yourself away just yet. A week is way to fast in my opinion to say "you love" someone. Talk to your mother, Explain to her that you love her, She is your mother and nobody will ever take that away. Remember your mother is the one that was there for you and raised you.
|
Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is 18/m, and i am 17/f. He recently went on vacation with his friends, and when he came back he had made a lot of friends on the resort. One of the friends name is Bridget. Now, let me say something. I know for a FACT that my boyfriend would NEVER physically cheat on me, due to past experiences. Its just, he talks to bridget, a lot. A longgg wall to wall, always texting her, he calls her at night sometimes (and yes, i did snoop one night when he was in the shower, btw we dont live together, i just am always at his house). I feel like he's emotionally cheating on me, and has strong feelings for her.
Another thing...she is the complete oposite of me. i have brown hair, brown eyes. I am 5'4", i am a runner and a swimmer and naturally pale. She is blond hair, blue eyes, close to 5'10" ( my bf is 6') and she is a volleyball player and insanely tan...all the time. From what ive heard, she doesnt want kids, and hates pets. I want to be a mother and i love animals and work in training animals. She is really into scary movies and gore, while i cant bare to even see them without throwing up, and he loves scary movies. She lives 5 hours away from us, but...im scared. Shes going to take the train here in april to hang out with all of the people she met and with her firends. I really dont want her to. My boyfriend wants me to meet her, but im not sure i want to. Do you think he has feelings for her? how should i deal with her coming to visit? Thank you all (link)
|
You have every right to be concerned.
YOU are his girlfriend, His focus should be on YOU. It's okay for your boyfriend to have friends but constantly acknowledging them and putting his attention for your aside is just simply wrong. I would talk to him, Express your concerns. Any woman who's boyfriend/fiance/husband is constantly talking to another woman would start to feel insecure, defensive, insulted and hurt after awhile. My personal opinion, Someone doesn't have to have sexual contact with someone for it to be considered cheating. Flirting is normal, Everyone does it but I also think there is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to just how far we take that flirting. You can't stop this girl from coming to town to visit friends but if it makes you feel better I would go, Let him introduce you. Observe her, Observe him and see how the mood sets itself. However, Before you two leave to meet up with her have a talk with him let him know that you love him and how this girl makes you feel. Let him reassure you everything will be fine and there is nothing to worry about. If he takes it too far, Then that is when I would start to think about moving on. Remember, There is NO excuse to cheating. Also another thing don't ever forget....It takes two to cheat.
|
|
Alright guys, this question can be answered by anyone, but I would people with experience (like marriage or serious relationships) to answer. My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We love each other to death, have been through so much, and currently live together. I've talked to him about how him watching porn makes me feel uncomfortable, disrespected, and a little insecure. He PROMISES me he won't watch, but I end up finding out he's broken his promise. He tries to hide it, but that just makes me angrier, as if he's taking me for someone stupid. It upsets me so much, I just don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone give me some advice? Has anyone ever gone through this? What are your opinions on this matter? Thanks in advance. (link)
|
Unless the porn is a constant whack toy, He doesn't acknowledge the fact that he is engaged. Then there shouldn't be a problem. If your fiance is watching porn to the point where it puts your relationship in jeopardy then you need to stand up the plate again and express how it makes you feel. If he decides to continue to "hide" his habits after expressing how you feel towards the situation then I would recommend counseling. Clearly, Your boyfriend then would have an addiction. It's either you or his porn. Blunt, but that is the truth. Porn is like a drug for some people, Stopping is a process. In my opinion the best way to stop is cold turkey..Just don't buy it. If he watches it off of Verizon or Cox if it helps call them and put password code on the television so he can't access it. Sad, that you would need to go that far but hey if that is what it leads to then play his game.
|
|
I know this is probably gross, but I have a serious question. My period is usually extremely heavy, soo bad that I use a SUPER PLUS tampon AND a long, overnight pad. And within an hour - hour and a half, it's everywhere (even going off the pad.) It's usually like that for 4-5 days. I hate going to school because I am constantly paranoid and worried that I'm leaking. Well I finally went to the gynecologist, and they got me on the pill. (I can't start it till the Sunday AFTER my period starts..which is already 2 months late.) Well I am scared I'll start at school. Everytime that happens, I get so nervous and I end up having a panic attack all day because its just sooo much blood. So my question is.. is there anything I can do in the meantime to make sure that I won't leak everywhere? (The pill is obviously going to make it lighter, but it's going to take a little while before its effective and kicks in.) (link)
|
Whatever you do, Don't use a tampon if your period is this heavy.
The pill should be a major reliever. In the meantime try wearing TWO pads, I went through some heavy bleeding as well and it was a life savor in the long run!
|
|