|
just need some opinionss
17/f
so i dated a guy for 14 months. we were really serious and we spent alot of time together. we broke up because he wasn't treating me right, i was soo devestated over it. like i thought i was going into depression :/ he turned out to be a jerk in the end and i was just too blind to see it but now that we aren't together i'm starting to see his jerk side perfectly. and if i ever get feelings back for him i would never get back ina relationship with him. i should also mention we were each others first loves and he was my my first real boyfriend, my first real kiss, and the first person to do sexual things with ya know. but we didn't have sex, that's something i want to save. we've been broken up for 4 months. i still think about him alot and i feel guilty because i have a new boyfriend who i might be starting to fall for.
so i just started dating this new guy. he treats me really good and he's so sweet to me. but i don't feel those "sparks" that i got with my ex when we kiss. do you think its just because he was my first love and it was new to me? or because we just started dating and it just needs some time? i mean i really like him and we have fun together, but i don't know if i should continue the relationship or not because of that. i DO feel something with him, it just isn't as strong.
oh and one more question. me and my ex didn't start doing sexual things until we were dating for like 5 months, me and my current bf started the next week. is it true that if a guy really likes a girl he waits longer? is it that just a rumor?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
with the sexual question, it all depends on the guy. sometimes he waits longer because he doesnt want to pressure the girl. sometimes they do it sooner because they feel such an attraction to them. but if you do do sexual things too early, it can ruin things. he could get bored or lose interest too soon, if at all. thats why couples usually wait. so that when they find the right time to start having sex, it feels all the more special. (cliche answer, i'm sorry)
and with this new guy, i think you don't feel sparks because you keep thinking about and comparing your old boyfriend to him. like "oh, he doesnt kiss me like so-and-so did." or "hmmm, so-and-so said that, too, and he was a jerk." so i'm going to tell you to do something that is probably going to be really hard, given your condition after the breakup, but you have GOT to stop thinking about him. i know you don't have feelings for him, but no matter how jerk-faced they are, or how much you start to hate them, the spark you had with your first lover never fully fades. i would know, my first love and i talk every now and again and it feels like i'm falling for him all over again. so, you need to get him off your mind. if possible, start spending more time with your new boyfriend just to busy yourself.
and also, sometimes the spark doesnt happen until later in a relationship. you need to give time for the spark to grow. the relationship wont bloom into a full-blown flame automatically. it probably did with your ex because having a real boyfriend excited you and so you started feeling something for him immeidately. with this other guy, again, just give it time. and in the mean time, keep your ex off of your mind. it could ruin a lot of things with your current love-interest. :)
take care.
]
You were with your ex boyfriend for over a year and in a years time, A lot can happen. As I say, Sometimes someones true colors don't show through until you are no longer together.
If he treated you badly, Then GOOD for you for not being with him. No woman deserves an asshole, Clearly he doesn't deserve you. You have no reason to feel guilty, He was the one who disrespected you he deserves to be alone.
If you are in a relationship with someone else that treats you right then good for you, You have attempted the moving on process. You may not be feeling the spark just yet because 4 months is not that long, Sometimes it just takes time. Are you letting yourself fall for him?...Sounds like apart of you is holding yourself back. If he treats you good then just let it happen but be safe too.
I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, A good way to move forward is to remember all the mean things that were said to you/done to you and use that anger towards moving on. This is about YOU, YOUR happiness and if this guy makes you happy then he is your path. Remember, You are better off without your ex anyway.
]
More Questions: |